The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by P.D.X. »

Looking forward to this.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff »

Bronto needs to move to Rhode Island and we need to make a sitcom.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

I don't know how old you are, but from what I hear from single guys in their 40s and 50s is that if they date near their own age, they move way up the numerical chain. The pool for available and presentable men is smaller, so instead of 6s, they can date 8s and 9s.

My only advice is find a rich woman.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by sancarlos »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:57 pm Seriously...I have no game whatsoever and sexual tension gives me anxiety. I have to hope someone finds my social awkwardness adorable.
Those of us who read this thread would appreciate it if you could provide details, after you find yourself a crazy bisexual woman. Bonus points if she takes you on a family camping trip.
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Jerloma
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

As a matter of immediate interest, I think I'd like to do the sex again. Do vacuous floozies still require cool sports cars?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:15 pm As a matter of immediate interest, I think I'd like to do the sex again. Do vacuous floozies still require cool sports cars?
I think at your age they're just going to assume you have a small penis.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by P.D.X. »

... and has a cool sports car.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

Pruitt wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:10 pm I don't know how old you are, but from what I hear ... single guys in their 40s and 50s ... own a... pool ... and... 6...9...
Heck yeah!
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Giff
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff »

I'm going back to Hartford in April, hopefully. I'll plan on arriving a day early and we can go scare up some tail.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Giff wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:43 pm I'm going back to Hartford in April, hopefully. I'll plan on arriving a day early and we can go scare up some tail.
Okay, but I'm not having a threesome with you.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Giff
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:49 pm
Giff wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:43 pm I'm going back to Hartford in April, hopefully. I'll plan on arriving a day early and we can go scare up some tail.
Okay, but I'm not having a threesome with you.
I'm very much OK with that.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Jerloma
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

I don't know though. Who knows?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:52 pm I don't know though. Who knows?
You do have good weed.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

this thread has suddenly turned
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by tennbengal »

'loma, sorry for your circumstance but happy that it sounds like it is for the best for you.

And, on a this thread level, I am giddy.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

can I be your bumble consultant?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

I don't know what that is but sure!
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:31 pm I don't know what that is but sure!
oh shit we're gonna build j-lo a bumble profile

(women message you first. by far the best mainstream dating app around)
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

Likes: Barry Manilow

Dislikes: Transubstantiation
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degenerasian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

let's vote, profile pick should in a Steelers jersey or not?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

degenerasian wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:04 pm let's vote, profile pick should in a Steelers jersey or not?
It's gotta be his Ezekiel 23-20 shirt. No doubt.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

degenerasian wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:04 pm let's vote, profile pick should in a Steelers jersey or not?
Yes.

Image
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

The stains on that mirror really seal the deal.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Steve of phpBB »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:44 pm
BSF21 wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:35 pm Hope however it works out ends up in your favor JLo.
I really think it's going to work out in both of our favors. We already get along and communicate a thousand times better just having decided on this. I get to keep my house, joint custody of kids with primary residence. I'll have to write a check for about 100k for half the value of the house but I kind of see that as just moving money from a mutual fund investment to a real estate one.
I wish you the best, J Lo.
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:39 pm
Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:31 pm I don't know what that is but sure!
oh shit we're gonna build j-lo a bumble profile

(women message you first. by far the best mainstream dating app around)
Alright, but I can't date a churchy, a Trump-voter, or a Pats fan so that probably significantly reduces my viable options.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by DaveInSeattle »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:27 pm So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
Bummer man.

(Get a good lawyer, right now. Even if you don't think you'll need one, you will)
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

DaveInSeattle wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:13 pm
Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:27 pm So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
Bummer man.

(Get a good lawyer, right now. Even if you don't think you'll need one, you will)
No way, if the separation is truly amicable, get a mediator. It's exponentially less expensive, and focuses on cooperating to come to a resolution rather than an adversarial approach. You come out with a legally binding agreement, and ideally everyone is satisfied with the result. With attorneys, they feel the need to get their client the best outcome, and it becomes a zero sum game.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by govmentchedda »

The Sybian wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:49 pm
DaveInSeattle wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:13 pm
Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:27 pm So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
Bummer man.

(Get a good lawyer, right now. Even if you don't think you'll need one, you will)
No way, if the separation is truly amicable, get a mediator. It's exponentially less expensive, and focuses on cooperating to come to a resolution rather than an adversarial approach. You come out with a legally binding agreement, and ideally everyone is satisfied with the result. With attorneys, they feel the need to get their client the best outcome, and it becomes a zero sum game.
Not always, and mediators cannot give you (shouldn't give you) legal advice. Often mediators in pro se divorce cases give out legal advice, and the parties are none the wiser at the time. I've taken over numerous post judgment cases where a party got bad advice from a mediator, after attending mediation without an attorney. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely a lot of attorneys that will overwork your case, but I would strongly recommend at least consulting with an attorney alone to hear the process of a divorce case in your area. Spend the hour or so with a divorce attorney first to get a feel for all of the specifics, then decide whether or not you want to retain him or her.

If you don't know any divorce attorneys or divorce mediators, you're taking a risk either way. You could pay more than you should in the short term if you hire the wrong attorney, and you could pay more than you should in the long term if you don't at least consult with a divorce attorney.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Shirley »

Wow, sorry you're going through that, Jerloma. I mean, I get that you're happy now that you've both agreed, but obviously that's at the end of a lot of shit.

I'd say that pretty much 100% of the dudes I know who've divorced (including a couple Swampers) are much happier than they were. So, hopefully this is the beginning of a good run.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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govmentchedda wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:01 pm
The Sybian wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:49 pm
DaveInSeattle wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:13 pm
Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:27 pm So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
Bummer man.

(Get a good lawyer, right now. Even if you don't think you'll need one, you will)
No way, if the separation is truly amicable, get a mediator. It's exponentially less expensive, and focuses on cooperating to come to a resolution rather than an adversarial approach. You come out with a legally binding agreement, and ideally everyone is satisfied with the result. With attorneys, they feel the need to get their client the best outcome, and it becomes a zero sum game.
Not always, and mediators cannot give you (shouldn't give you) legal advice. Often mediators in pro se divorce cases give out legal advice, and the parties are none the wiser at the time. I've taken over numerous post judgment cases where a party got bad advice from a mediator, after attending mediation without an attorney. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely a lot of attorneys that will overwork your case, but I would strongly recommend at least consulting with an attorney alone to hear the process of a divorce case in your area. Spend the hour or so with a divorce attorney first to get a feel for all of the specifics, then decide whether or not you want to retain him or her.

If you don't know any divorce attorneys or divorce mediators, you're taking a risk either way. You could pay more than you should in the short term if you hire the wrong attorney, and you could pay more than you should in the long term if you don't at least consult with a divorce attorney.
I should have specified an attorney mediator with family law experience. And to do that without your own attorneys, you have to truly be able to work it out together.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Johnnie »

You got married at 22 and you weren't a military member who fell in love in either tech school or with a stripper? Why?

Anywho, I'm sorry/happy for you. I hope it all works out for your family's sake. That shit is tough.

As for dating, hit the gym now and download some apps. Then furiously start swiping right. Just don't use gym selfies in your profile pics. There is a girl that wants to bang you. Believe in yourself!
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 7:42 pm
Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:39 pm
Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:31 pm I don't know what that is but sure!
oh shit we're gonna build j-lo a bumble profile

(women message you first. by far the best mainstream dating app around)
Alright, but I can't date a churchy, a Trump-voter, or a Pats fan so that probably significantly reduces my viable options.
we can put that in your profile. granted, my waters are slightly different, but the first two are requirements for me and the pool is pretty deep here in flyover country
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

govmentchedda wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 9:01 pm
The Sybian wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:49 pm
DaveInSeattle wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 8:13 pm
Jerloma wrote: Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:27 pm So me getting divorced is a thing now. I haven't been single since I was 22. What's that like these days?
Bummer man.

(Get a good lawyer, right now. Even if you don't think you'll need one, you will)
No way, if the separation is truly amicable, get a mediator. It's exponentially less expensive, and focuses on cooperating to come to a resolution rather than an adversarial approach. You come out with a legally binding agreement, and ideally everyone is satisfied with the result. With attorneys, they feel the need to get their client the best outcome, and it becomes a zero sum game.
Not always, and mediators cannot give you (shouldn't give you) legal advice. Often mediators in pro se divorce cases give out legal advice, and the parties are none the wiser at the time. I've taken over numerous post judgment cases where a party got bad advice from a mediator, after attending mediation without an attorney. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely a lot of attorneys that will overwork your case, but I would strongly recommend at least consulting with an attorney alone to hear the process of a divorce case in your area. Spend the hour or so with a divorce attorney first to get a feel for all of the specifics, then decide whether or not you want to retain him or her.

If you don't know any divorce attorneys or divorce mediators, you're taking a risk either way. You could pay more than you should in the short term if you hire the wrong attorney, and you could pay more than you should in the long term if you don't at least consult with a divorce attorney.
Why so complicated? I'm buying her out of the house. She's not going after any of my retirement and savings. I'm not going after any of her income. It's done. Who do I get that's just gonna say, "Great, sign here."?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Rush2112 »

Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:12 am
Why so complicated? I'm buying her out of the house. She's not going after any of my retirement and savings. I'm not going after any of her income. It's done. Who do I get that's just gonna say, "Great, sign here."?
Not sure how it differs in RI, but in MA we drew up an agreement, had it reviewed by a lawyer, then went in front of a judge that asked if we both agreed and then signed the agreement. Cost us 200 bucks maybe.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Rush2112 wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:45 am
Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:12 am
Why so complicated? I'm buying her out of the house. She's not going after any of my retirement and savings. I'm not going after any of her income. It's done. Who do I get that's just gonna say, "Great, sign here."?
Not sure how it differs in RI, but in MA we drew up an agreement, had it reviewed by a lawyer, then went in front of a judge that asked if we both agreed and then signed the agreement. Cost us 200 bucks maybe.
That. That's what I want.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma »

Johnnie wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:20 am You got married at 22 and you weren't a military member who fell in love in either tech school or with a stripper? Why?

Anywho, I'm sorry/happy for you. I hope it all works out for your family's sake. That shit is tough.

As for dating, hit the gym now and download some apps. Then furiously start swiping right. Just don't use gym selfies in your profile pics. There is a girl that wants to bang you. Believe in yourself!
I would never take a gym selfie.

Got married at 26 but been together since 22.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

J-Lo knows his (ex)-wife better than any of us so I don't think it's that hard to believe they were really able to work out everything amicably. If they've already agreed on the house, retirement savings and the custody not sure what else there is to really fight about.
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brian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

Rush2112 wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:45 am
Jerloma wrote: Tue Feb 06, 2018 10:12 am
Why so complicated? I'm buying her out of the house. She's not going after any of my retirement and savings. I'm not going after any of her income. It's done. Who do I get that's just gonna say, "Great, sign here."?
Not sure how it differs in RI, but in MA we drew up an agreement, had it reviewed by a lawyer, then went in front of a judge that asked if we both agreed and then signed the agreement. Cost us 200 bucks maybe.
Same here, but I didn't (and you didn't) have kids and that can be a BIG complication. Whatever him and his ex need to do to get visitation/custody made as part of the legal agreement they need to do because that's the potential fly in the ointment for years down the road.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by duff »

Who keeps the dog tooth?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian »

Then there's stuff like paying for college down the road...
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