The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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degenerasian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

nobody is prepared for a calgary winter.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

degenerasian wrote:nobody is prepared for a calgary winter.
Did she know what she was signing up for? What is the typical temperature range in her region?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by A_B »

The Sybian wrote:
degenerasian wrote:nobody is prepared for a calgary winter.
Did she know what she was signing up for? What is the typical temperature range in her region?
That seems too personal.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass »

A_B wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
degenerasian wrote:nobody is prepared for a calgary winter.
Did she know what she was signing up for? What is the typical temperature range in her region?
That seems too personal.
hahahaha.

At least he didn't specify a temperature scale.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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degenerasian
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

i'm not touching that.

absolutely it'll be an adjustment, its actually the worst in early Feb so she'll have a few weeks to adjust.

it's been a wonderful fall so far, 20C all last week, today is a bit chilly down to 5C
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff »

degenerasian wrote:i'm not touching that.
Poor girl.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

Congratulations!

For her sake, I hope there's a chinook around the time she arrives.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

was supposed to have a date with a cute girl who seemed legitimately interesting and smart on Wednesday. but due to stupid shit with my house (long story) my entire day was spent making sure my basement didn't flood again and I had to punt it that afternoon to tomorrow

so, of course, she had a date either thursday night or last night that went so well that she doesn't want to go out with me tomorrow. I figured that would happen, and I can only laugh that it did.

In my response I laughed and told her that she needed to tell him he's lucky that my house is a mess. I give no shits at this point.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

I have so many matches that I'm debating on trying the "five dates in five nights" strategy just to see if I can make it happen

one of those matches is with either the most forward woman in the world or I'm getting catfished. so who wants to go with me to the bar and see what happens and make sure I don't die
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by howard »

Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by A_B »

If howard pays I'll come watch your back.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by sancarlos »

Lick it all up, Bronto! Life comes at you fast, and before you know it, you're an old guy living vicariously through the adventures of younger message board friends.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto! Life comes at you fast, and before you know it, you're an old guy living vicariously through the adventures of younger message board friends.


update: I am alive
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

Brontoburglar wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto! Life comes at you fast, and before you know it, you're an old guy living vicariously through the adventures of younger message board friends.


update: I am alive


That's it? any details? What went well? What didn't?
Did you in fact get catfished?
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass »

Brontoburglar wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto! Life comes at you fast, and before you know it, you're an old guy living vicariously through the adventures of younger message board friends.


update: I am alive


How many kidneys do you have?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by tennbengal »

sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto!


Maybe don't lick it all up, if she has the horse flu...
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by sancarlos »

tennbengal wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto!

Maybe don't lick it all up, if she has the horse flu...

Nice cross-thread posting, there, Tobeck.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

rass wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto! Life comes at you fast, and before you know it, you're an old guy living vicariously through the adventures of younger message board friends.


update: I am alive


How many kidneys do you have?


I have both of them, as well as my wallet with its contents and my phone, so it's a win!

She was nervous as hell. I was too (at least as nervous as I've been to meet a girl in a couple years), but I picked a well-lit popular place so that if I died it would be seen by many. But all of this is a reminder that while dating can be fun, it's also a giant pain in the ass (not to be taken literally).
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

Brontoburglar wrote:
rass wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:
sancarlos wrote:Lick it all up, Bronto! Life comes at you fast, and before you know it, you're an old guy living vicariously through the adventures of younger message board friends.


update: I am alive


How many kidneys do you have?


I have both of them, as well as my wallet with its contents and my phone, so it's a win!

She was nervous as hell. I was too (at least as nervous as I've been to meet a girl in a couple years), but I picked a well-lit popular place so that if I died it would be seen by many. But all of this is a reminder that while dating can be fun, it's also a giant pain in the ass (not to be taken literally).



It really is. I was so sick of it. So much time wasted and mind games I threw in the towel.
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Shirley »

degenerasian wrote:It really is. I was so sick of it. So much time wasted and mind games I threw in the towel.


Any spare Vietnamese cousins for Bronto?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

two nights, two dates, two Ashleys

what could go wrong?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

I have a friend who dated consecutive Ashleys with the same last name. Lots went wrong.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian »

Brontoburglar wrote:two nights, two dates, two Ashleys

what could go wrong?


Better than Heathers.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

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Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Rush2112 »

Dated a Stephanie prior to meeting Mrs. Rush (also named Stephanie) they share a birthday.

Buddy of mine dated 3 different Jenns at the same time while we were in college. That was fun
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by GoodKarma »

In college I had two dates the same night...luckily both named Laura. Made it easy to keep names straight. Only thing that went wrong was confusing some background info between the two. You should be alright.
I would like expensive whiskey.
We only have beer & wine...
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

GoodKarma wrote:In college I had two dates the same night...luckily both named Laura. Made it easy to keep names straight. Only thing that went wrong was confusing some background info between the two. You should be alright.


I did that once, but different names. went with the woman in date 2. she was really fun until she said she couldn't stop thinking about her ex six weeks or so after we started dating
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by GoodKarma »

Brontoburglar wrote:
GoodKarma wrote:In college I had two dates the same night...luckily both named Laura. Made it easy to keep names straight. Only thing that went wrong was confusing some background info between the two. You should be alright.


I did that once, but different names. went with the woman in date 2. she was really fun until she said she couldn't stop thinking about her ex six weeks or so after we started dating


Similar drill for me...ended up with date #2 for almost two years until my now-wife came along. Date 1 was a get-it-out-of-the-way date (she asked me). Just tried to get in and out as fast as possible.
I would like expensive whiskey.
We only have beer & wine...
What am I, 12?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

A couple of months after a nasty break up with a woman named Tara after 3 years, I started dating a woman named Tanya.

I wish she'd have been wearing a name tag. I must have called her the wrong name 3 or 4 times.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

September 2017

Bronto matches with very cute and politically-obsessed liberal lawyer on bumble. Immediately is intrigued.

Bronto goes out on date with said lawyer and immediately realizes that holy shit, the life of dating apps could be over

October 2017

A week after very fun date (outside of having to talk NASCAR with very racist bar owner for 45 minutes), Bronto gets the "I broke up with my boyfriend of six years in August and I'm not ready yet" message and woman informs him she moved out of their apartment into another apartment in their building that month

Bronto responds with "let's stay in touch if you want to go out again when you're ready" because of the reality that this is the first woman he's actually legitimately thought the m-word about. She says she does. Ok, great

November 2017

Woman moves to different apartment complex across downtown

December 2017

After texting back and forth pretty much every day in the two months since that moment of "I'm not ready," Bronto buys woman Christmas present (it's a t-shirt and a six pack of beer and treats for her dog). Spends two hours at her house talking on NYE while delivering present and makes the ask to go out again after football season is over. Woman says yes.

January 2018

Date finalized. Day before date (13th), woman invites Bronto to bar, where she's drinking with her parents. Bronto meets woman's parents. He thinks it's kind of odd, but also maybe a good sign.

Date goes well the next day. Bronto and woman agree to go out the next weekend.

Thursday night (18th), date night is agreed to be either Sunday or Monday based on party woman is attending the night before (20th).

Sunday (21st), Bronto asks what night would work better. Plan is to see The Post (woman is also a j-school undergrad so she knows the way of the message board logic and how to pwn the noobs) and get dinner & drinks.

Woman replies three hours later that she's still in same place as she was in October and is still trying to figure out how she's moving forward with ex.

Bronto is annoyed. Bronto gets drunk.
Last edited by Brontoburglar on Sun Jan 21, 2018 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass »

That was legitimately suspenseful.

(fuck man)
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by degenerasian »

I'm speechless
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by sancarlos »

Well that sucks. Sorry man.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt »

rass wrote: Sun Jan 21, 2018 7:08 pm That was legitimately suspenseful.

(fuck man)
Suspenseful and ultimately really annoying (for you). You met the parents?

Sheesh.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by A_B »

At this point the only logical explanations are that Bronto is a) undateable or b) a total douchebag
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by EnochRoot »

Brontoburglar wrote: Sun Jan 21, 2018 7:02 pm September 2017

Bronto matches with very cute and politically-obsessed liberal lawyer on bumble. Immediately is intrigued.

Bronto goes out on date with said lawyer and immediately realizes that holy shit, the life of dating apps could be over

October 2017

A week after very fun date (outside of having to talk NASCAR with very racist bar owner for 45 minutes), Bronto gets the "I broke up with my boyfriend of six years in August and I'm not ready yet" message and woman informs him she moved out of their apartment into another apartment in their building that month

Bronto responds with "let's stay in touch if you want to go out again when you're ready" because of the reality that this is the first woman he's actually legitimately thought the m-word about. She says she does. Ok, great

November 2017

Woman moves to different apartment complex across downtown

December 2017

After texting back and forth pretty much every day in the two months since that moment of "I'm not ready," Bronto buys woman Christmas present (it's a t-shirt and a six pack of beer and treats for her dog). Spends two hours at her house talking on NYE while delivering present and makes the ask to go out again after football season is over. Woman says yes.

January 2018

Date finalized. Day before date (13th), woman invites Bronto to bar, where she's drinking with her parents. Bronto meets woman's parents. He thinks it's kind of odd, but also maybe a good sign.

Date goes well the next day. Bronto and woman agree to go out the next weekend.

Thursday night (18th), date night is agreed to be either Sunday or Monday based on party woman is attending the night before (20th).

Sunday (21st), Bronto asks what night would work better. Plan is to see The Post (woman is also a j-school undergrad so she knows the way of the message board logic and how to pwn the noobs) and get dinner & drinks.

Woman replies three hours later that she's still in same place as she was in October and is still trying to figure out how she's moving forward with ex.

Bronto is annoyed. Bronto gets drunk.
That sucks. What that says is while it's obvious she's not over her ex, she likely won't ever be. Walk away.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar »

A_B wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 8:33 am At this point the only logical explanations are that Bronto is a) undateable or b) a total douchebag
I've clearly done something in a past life to deserve this insanity. bar is now really high going forward too. gonna have to go to elite singles dot com!
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by tennbengal »

Have you tried Farmersonly.com? Your nascar thing may work well there...
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d »

I assume there "writer" is more of a turn-off than "Nascar" is a turn-on.
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tennbengal
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by tennbengal »

mister d wrote: Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:31 am I assume there "writer" is more of a turn-off than "Nascar" is a turn-on.
"Likes dogs, Nascar, and throwing bales of hay for a total body workout."
I think that could get him initial interest...
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