The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by bfj » Mon Aug 06, 2018 4:52 pm

rass wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 4:03 pm
A_B wrote:
Mon Aug 06, 2018 3:25 pm
You just wanna get some stinky on your hangdown, and I get it, but you would probably be better off doing some more fishing.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass » Mon Aug 06, 2018 5:12 pm

A_B the Todd
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Square Rob » Mon Aug 06, 2018 8:34 pm

My dad always called it ‘getting some mud for your turtle’ which I always found poetic.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Sabo » Mon Aug 20, 2018 1:27 pm

If this is dating in the modern world, then I really feel sorry for all of the single folks in the world. (Read the Twitter thread.)

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by GoodKarma » Mon Aug 20, 2018 2:24 pm

Sabo wrote:
Mon Aug 20, 2018 1:27 pm
If this is dating in the modern world, then I really feel sorry for all of the single folks in the world. (Read the Twitter thread.)

He calls it "subterfuge"...I call it good marketing.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Mon Nov 12, 2018 7:26 pm

Question...

If someone were to say to someone else, "How about you hold off on the whole finding a girlfriend thing until I'm all settled in my new life. I can't have someone using your 'bandwidth' that should be meant for me."

Is there like any chance that this wouldn't involve the sex?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by A_B » Mon Nov 12, 2018 7:46 pm

If someone were to say that you should tell them to shit or get off the pot.

Of all the things you refuse to take shit on, why this? I’m assuming it’s the same lady of course.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass » Mon Nov 12, 2018 7:55 pm

He needs to find a way to access Twitter and follow Joel Dongsteen.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Mon Nov 12, 2018 11:11 pm

A_B wrote:
Mon Nov 12, 2018 7:46 pm
If someone were to say that you should tell them to shit or get off the pot.

Of all the things you refuse to take shit on, why this? I’m assuming it’s the same lady of course.
You know what, man...I just don't feel like it, anyway. I've been on the Bumbles and the Tinders and I've got lots of matches and I've chatted with some women, and ultimately, I'm just not there. The whole getting to know you thing seems completely exhausting to me right now. I get a little lonely sometimes but for the most part, really comfortable with my solitude. Not sure I'm really ready to jeopardize that.

But yeah, I realize that's not a really fair question to ask me. I may have subconsciously doing that anyway though.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Mon Nov 12, 2018 11:17 pm

Oh, also I had sex with a prostitute for the first time about a month ago. During the first Steelers-Ravens game this year. They both sucked.

What's up with the blowjob with the condom?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d » Tue Nov 13, 2018 8:53 am

Taste funny?
rass wrote:
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by rass » Tue Nov 13, 2018 10:13 am

Coffee milk. Maybe she was from out of state.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by sancarlos » Tue Nov 13, 2018 12:42 pm

So, what's the reason for the delay with the woman who wants you to wait for her while she "gets settled"? She still involved with another guy and hasn't ended it yet? If so, fuck that. There are good reasons to wait, and bad reasons to wait, you know.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian » Tue Nov 13, 2018 1:52 pm

rass wrote:
Tue Nov 13, 2018 10:13 am
Coffee milk. Maybe she was from out of state.
Ha!!!!!

Is this the same woman you've brought up before? I'd just say sure, ignore the demand, but since you don't sound ready to date anyways, it's your decision not to date. If you are single when she is ready, great. If you are dating someone by that time, great. Put yourself first, and go with whatever happens.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar » Sat Feb 02, 2019 11:06 pm

My girlfriend is on an ice skating team. We are in Michigan for a competition. I discovered at dinner tonight that a girl I dated briefly 3.5 years ago is also on this team now. She's the one who told me she was bisexual and asked me if I was gay.

I guess she knows the answer to that question now?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d » Sat Feb 02, 2019 11:41 pm

Take a step back ...
rass wrote:
Mon Apr 20, 2020 11:20 am
I'm definitely known as "the boy who cried penis" in town.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Brontoburglar » Sat Feb 02, 2019 11:45 pm

I regret to inform you that you are not the first to point that out
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by TT2.0 » Sun Feb 03, 2019 5:06 am

Jerloma wrote:
Mon Nov 12, 2018 11:17 pm
Oh, also I had sex with a prostitute for the first time about a month ago. During the first Steelers-Ravens game this year. They both sucked.

What's up with the blowjob with the condom?
Think about it man. As someone who used to patronize the ladies of the evening think about it and take a step back and realze you should be really really greatful for that condom.this woman takes shots in the mouth for a living from the fringes of fat sweaty disgusting desperate malehood. No homo but you are probably a solid 8 out of the guys she professionally sees who push her to succeed (suck-seed? get it? fuck it i laughed im high but its staying)...you want the aids? that condom is why u dont got the aids
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm

So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."

I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian » Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:32 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm
So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."

I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
No, should be a deal-breaker IMO (unless she laments voting for him in which case let your conscience be your guide).

But if she's still OK with Trump she's OK with white supremacists marching through the streets and locking babies in cages, amongst other things.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by mister d » Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:38 pm

The fact that you have to ask concerns me.
rass wrote:
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:41 pm

brian wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:32 pm
Jerloma wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm
So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."

I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
No, should be a deal-breaker IMO (unless she laments voting for him in which case let your conscience be your guide).

But if she's still OK with Trump she's OK with white supremacists marching through the streets and locking babies in cages, amongst other things.
Soooo many things! I know.

I was going to just say yes and move on but I guess I could just say it's a dealbreaker if she hasn't yet come to terms with the fact that decision was misguided. 99% chance it won't end well but it doesn't matter anyway.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by duff » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:04 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:41 pm
brian wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:32 pm
Jerloma wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm
So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."

I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
No, should be a deal-breaker IMO (unless she laments voting for him in which case let your conscience be your guide).

But if she's still OK with Trump she's OK with white supremacists marching through the streets and locking babies in cages, amongst other things.
Soooo many things! I know.

I was going to just say yes and move on but I guess I could just say it's a dealbreaker if she hasn't yet come to terms with the fact that decision was misguided. 99% chance it won't end well but it doesn't matter anyway.
Just go back to sucking condom covered dicks. You will get used to it and the income will be off the books.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Pruitt » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:10 pm

Tits?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Johnnie » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:26 pm

Just write her a song on your first date:

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:51 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 3:22 pm
So I started talking to some girl on the Bumbles last night. She seems nice, smart, attractive, has her shit together but under politics it says "conservative." So I just asked her if that was like some subjective term reflecting a leaning towards fiscal responsibility or if she's rolling with him. She said, "Is it a dealbreaker that I voted for Trump? I'm independent and have voted for both parties in the past."

I wouldn't have thought it was but she doesn't seem to regret it and I think it might be. Am I being closed-minded?
Before Trump, I would have said it'd be crazy to make that a dealbreaker. Not sure I could get past it, if she didn't regret the choice. Maybe if she is one of those that thinks he is horrible but Hillary was worse, and yeah he is pretty horrible, but she doesn't support all the bullshit. Naw, I couldn't do it.

Just wondering, but would you date someone who said they are Christian or religious in their bio?

OTOH, fuck her in the ass and take out some frustration, nothing wrong with that.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by EnochRoot » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:56 pm

Yeah, she's gotta be willing to troll for other women for your menag'. Then whatever the hell she thinks in her own pretty little head is fine by me.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian » Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:58 pm

The Sybian wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:51 pm
OTOH, fuck her in the ass and take out some frustration, nothing wrong with that.
Consensually, of course.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Wed Feb 20, 2019 10:02 pm

The Sybian wrote:
Wed Feb 20, 2019 4:51 pm
Just wondering, but would you date someone who said they are Christian or religious in their bio?
It would require a thorough screening.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by TT2.0 » Wed Feb 20, 2019 11:35 pm

how hot is she?
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff » Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:32 am

Yeah, why not hate fuck her? Get the anal consensually and after you're done, shit in her MAGA hat and tell her she's no Tammy Lahren.
Muh.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by A_B » Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am

Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?

ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by brian » Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:48 am

A_B wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am
Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?

ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
Yeah, my comment was geared in that direction but I agree 100 percent. If you want to have sex with someone, have sex with them, even if you don't want to see them again, but having sex because they don't support your political views is...weird.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by tennbengal » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:01 pm

Someone who voted for trump would be a non-starter for me. Don’t know how to ever get past that.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Giff » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:21 pm

A_B wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am
Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?

ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
Yeah, I wasn't being serious.
Muh.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:23 pm

brian wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:48 am
A_B wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 11:41 am
Or how about we all treat women with respect and not use them as devices towards our own sexual ends?

ETA: I think that most people here do treat women well, mind you, but some of this talk is dangerously close to the "locker room" talk that justifies the way a lot of men treat women. I certainly wouldn't want my liberal daughter to end up in a situation where some MAGA chud acted like this and then went back and high fived his buddies saying he "owned the libs."
Yeah, my comment was geared in that direction but I agree 100 percent. If you want to have sex with someone, have sex with them, even if you don't want to see them again, but having sex because they don't support your political views is...weird.
I figured y'all would realize I was joking. And not in the locker room sense, but making fun of meatheads who would make comments like that (and vote for Trump).
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:36 pm

I dug a little deeper and concluded that she's at the very least a racist and probably a poor excuse for an educator. She is a Barre instructor as well, but no.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by bfj » Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:42 pm

She can't talk politics with your dick in her mouth -- would be something a chud would say.
Enjoy every sandwich.

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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by The Sybian » Thu Feb 21, 2019 1:06 pm

bfj wrote:
Thu Feb 21, 2019 12:42 pm
She can't talk politics with your dick in her mouth -- would be something a chud would say.
See, BFJ gets it.
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Re: The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Post by Jerloma » Thu Feb 21, 2019 1:37 pm

I've actually been hanging out with a girl in my tennis circles that's almost suspiciously perfect for me. She's an evolutionary anthropology teacher, liberal, sciencey, cute, awesome tennis and ping pong player, plays guitar, loves weed, and just oozes cool. Terrified to make any sort of move though.

I get the whole regret is worse than rejection thing but not really when you still have to see the person all the time. I also don't want to make it weird and throw away a beneficial friendship.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God

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