The Swamp

Jerloma wrote: ↑Thu Mar 07, 2019 10:39 am

Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Thu Mar 07, 2019 10:28 am Dude!

Are you messing with us?

This post goes perfect with your Ovy avatar.

I'm really not though. Explain to me like a 5 year old what I'm missing.

She's wants you to put your tallywacker in her special place.

Dissertation? How bout a dick for tastin'!

Dating advice from this group? You gonna consult Steve Harvey next? U be u just get a bankroll (or at least a room and kitchen) and hit the highway. Even if the game remains weak sounds like she will take the reins and handle the biz for you.

Had some better advice but fear of guys like chedda have my tongue tied on an anonymous message board.

Me?

I fear you

Employment. I don't put it beyond the lady that sleeps next to me to dig this up later.

I'll fuck her for you....

HaulCitgo wrote: ↑Thu Mar 07, 2019 3:29 pm Dating advice...? ...U...just l.i.c..k...the...but...tongue...on...a.ss...

Mrs Citgo isn't going anywhere...

This thread took a turn.

tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Mar 07, 2019 4:51 pm This thread took a turn.

What can I say, I miss Rimworld.

"Hey do you wanna play Rimworld?"

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:30 pm I really want to use your bumble/tinder accounts for 48 hours and get you seven dates in seven days

I'm rocking a pretty decent tan right now, and I've been in worse shape. I'm still a cauldron of social awkwardness but fuck it...let's do this. Just one is plenty though.

We can document it for these jabronis.

(If anyone was wondering, I screwed up the hot, weed-loving, evolutionary biologist, tennis player thing by never giving her any indication whatsoever that I was interested. You didn't see that coming.)

Also, if Bronto picks up my soulmate if soulmates were a thing, we're gonna need to burn this thread to the ground so it doesn't end like twelve movies I can't think of right now.

I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone

I just voice-called a girl to get a date for like the first time in about 5 years. The voicemail was probably as awkward as the last time I tried that.

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone

I assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 9:56 pm I just voice-called a girl to get a date for like the first time in about 5 years. The voicemail was probably as awkward as the last time I tried that.

Just got back from a few pints and a brief make-out sesh. Old school strategy ftw!

Next stop: Handjob thread

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 9:56 pm I just voice-called a girl to get a date for like the first time in about 5 years. The voicemail was probably as awkward as the last time I tried that.

I got sweaty palms just reading that.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:49 pm

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone

I assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...

we gotta get this show on the road because my swiping skills are undoubtedly getting rusty!

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Thu Dec 19, 2019 12:42 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 9:56 pm I just voice-called a girl to get a date for like the first time in about 5 years. The voicemail was probably as awkward as the last time I tried that.

Just got back from a few pints and a brief make-out sesh. Old school strategy ftw!

given all the screenshots that I see posted by women about how idiotic and stupid men are while trying to date/get her to go out on a dating app, I gotta think the phone call immediately elevated your status even if you stammered the entire time

The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:49 pm

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone

I assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...

Yeah, I came to the conclusion that I just don't want to. I think I only wanted to because it's such a novelty after being married for 19 years. The idea of getting to know someone under the guise of dating just seems exhausting right now. Also, my anxiety meds while helping, don't exactly do wonders for my libido.

Jerloma wrote: ↑Thu Dec 19, 2019 1:20 pm

The Sybian wrote: ↑Mon Dec 16, 2019 10:49 pm

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Sun Jul 07, 2019 8:02 am I'm in. we'd have to figure out how to get my location to show up as yours, but that's probably possible. and don't be surprised if you get a date for within 24 hours of when I match with someone

I assume J-Lo was so busy on an endless string of dates that he couldn't find time to update...

Yeah, I came to the conclusion that I just don't want to. I think I only wanted to because it's such a novelty after being married for 19 years. The idea of getting to know someone under the guise of dating just seems exhausting right now. Also, my anxiety meds while helping, don't exactly do wonders for my libido.

It’s not that hard.

Nah thats a different problem. Hes just scared to step out there.

Can I get a ruling on if this is flirting?

hey is it your birthday? facebook is blowing up your spot with a little cake emoji thing next to your name. happy birthday (if you are into that sort of thing)!

It may not surprise you that I don’t really care about it but nonetheless seeing you conform to social conventions does a lot for me.

it doens't surprise me in the least. i typically ignore all of the cake emoji's and deliberately avoid saying happy birthday to people who advertise birthdays with cake emojis.
but you know, you have a way of bringing out sides of my personality are in fact warm and pathetic (that's the opposite of a pathetic, right?), and then punish me for these displays with snarky remarks.
that's really cute, kyle.

what a hot mess of grammatical errors i am today. meh. figure it out yourslef. mostly i just want to know if pathetic is the true opposite of apathetic (not empathetic).

No one is wasting that much time on you unless they are flirting with you (or mocking you).

rass wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 1:31 pm No one is wasting that much time on you unless they are flirting with you (or mocking you).

I'm going to say both are clearly flirting.

/wink

seeing you conform to social conventions does a lot for me


assuming she was the one that posted it, you missed a giant flashing (and weird) red light below the label "flirting alarm"

J-Lo's entire post-divorce life is the perfect opposite of "this stripper is into me".

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 2:37 pm seeing you conform to social conventions does a lot for me


assuming she was the one that posted it, you missed a giant flashing (and weird) red light below the label "flirting alarm"

No that was me. OMG, I was flirting? Look at me.

so she is 1-3-4?

Brontoburglar wrote: ↑Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:51 pm so she is 1-3-4?

Yes.

Yeah, she wants you.

the date should have happened last night

Can I get another flirting ruling here?

"Hey how'd you make out with your kitchen drain? Has your car stereo fixed itself yet? Just hanging around on a Friday night thinking about your gadgets."

Jerloma wrote: ↑Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:05 pm Can I get another flirting ruling here?

"Hey how'd you make out with your kitchen drain? Has your car stereo fixed itself yet? Just hanging around on a Friday night thinking about your gadgets."

I know you already know the answer to this. If you are even remotely interested, step up!

Jerloma wrote: ↑Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:05 pm Can I get another flirting ruling here?

"Hey how'd you make out with your kitchen drain? Has your car stereo fixed itself yet? Just hanging around on a Friday night thinking about your gadgets."

Quit over thinking it.

She actually took me camping in the Catskills Labor day weekend which is not really a thing I do but my buddy lent me this setup that made it seems like I was travelling with a harem. By comparison, that's hers next to me. :-)

Jerloma is Tom Hanks in Big, right down to being too fondly remembered for his piano playing.

rass wrote: ↑Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:33 pm Jerloma is Tom Hanks in Big, right down to being too fondly remembered for his piano playing.

This is like a slow-building laugh. The longer I think about it, more meaning comes from it. And picturing J-Lo as a 12 year old trapped in a man's body trying to navigate sex is hilarious.