CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:05 am

rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
Hulk Hands

I had this one wrong. It should have been "Hulk Smash", because he is a grown ass man who regularly wears a bright green t-shirt with the front depicting the Hulk's torso.

Today he walked in wearing a Minion themed t-shirt with the message "Monday Again?" printed on the front...

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:06 am

rass wrote:
rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
Hulk Hands
I had this one wrong. It should have been "Hulk Smash", because he is a grown ass man who regularly wears a bright green t-shirt with the front depicting the Hulk's torso.

Today he walked in wearing a Minion themed t-shirt with the message "Monday Again?" printed on the front...

#hero

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Aug 03, 2015 1:21 pm

rass wrote:
rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
Hulk Hands
I had this one wrong. It should have been "Hulk Smash", because he is a grown ass man who regularly wears a bright green t-shirt with the front depicting the Hulk's torso.

Today he walked in wearing a Minion themed t-shirt with the message "Monday Again?" printed on the front...

He has to be an IT guy.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Aug 06, 2015 10:37 am

tennbengal wrote:
rass wrote:
rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
Hulk Hands
I had this one wrong. It should have been "Hulk Smash", because he is a grown ass man who regularly wears a bright green t-shirt with the front depicting the Hulk's torso.

Today he walked in wearing a Minion themed t-shirt with the message "Monday Again?" printed on the front...
#hero

Another update.

I'm pretty sure he had been driving a brownish, vaguely Ford-ish sedan. Today he has a white Camaro convertible.

Post by **brian** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 5:53 pm

So let's settle this once and for all. If you're just peeing and you don't get pee on your hands, wash or not. I can't guarantee this but I assume the process of washing is probably less santitary than actually peeing.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:03 pm

brian wrote:So let's settle this once and for all. If you're just peeing and you don't get pee on your hands, wash or not. I can't guarantee this but I assume the process of washing is probably less santitary than actually peeing.

Personally, I think one should always wash hands after peeing. With no knowledge to back me up, I'm going to disagree with your last sentence.

howard · Post by **howard** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:08 pm

Your hands spend the day exposed to all kinds of filth. They grasp doorknobs, hammer on keyboards, touch all kinds of surfaces, handle all manner of objects, if you are old school thumbs through ink-stained newspapers and magazines, and contact the dirty hands of other people. All the while, your little pee-pee sits ensconced snugly caressed by a clean cotton barrier, beneath an even thicker bulwark from the filthy outside world. No cleaner place to encounter a dirty, dangerous world

You should wash your hands before you relieve yourself, not after.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:48 pm

howard wrote:Your hands spend the day exposed to all kinds of filth. They grasp doorknobs, hammer on keyboards, touch all kinds of surfaces, handle all manner of objects, if you are old school thumbs through ink-stained newspapers and magazines, and contact the dirty hands of other people. All the while, your little pee-pee sits ensconced snugly caressed by a clean cotton barrier, beneath an even thicker bulwark from the filthy outside world. No cleaner place to encounter a dirty, dangerous world

You should wash your hands before you relieve yourself, not after.

Same applies to washing before an episode of explosive Taco Bell shits and not after I assume?

Great. Have a good weekend guys.

(I rarely wash my hands before or after I take a leak. Do other people get all hands on with their dick anyway? Unzip, grab your skivies, flop the bad boy out, do your biz, grab your skivies, reign the dragon back in, and zip up. Who is getting enough hand to dick contact during a simple piss break to warrant needing the had wash?)

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:52 pm

I always wash, but I think it's 90% about preventing someone who saw you from gossiping that you're a non-washer moreso than actual hygiene.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:16 pm

After I pee I wet my hands to fix my hair so I'm just transferring whatever from one area to another.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 9:52 pm

I wash in a "be the change you want to see" kinda way.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:46 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:I always wash, but I think it's 90% about preventing someone who saw you from gossiping that you're a non-washer moreso than actual hygiene.

This.

Post by **brian** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:55 pm

I'm not militantly pro wash or anti wash but I know people who are. On both sides. My grandfather famously said one time when someone mocked him for not washing by saying "In the Army they thought us to always wash our hands after going to the bathroom" he replied "In the Navy they taught us to not piss on ourselves".

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:55 am

Someone just puked in our kitchen sink.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:58 am

In a "communicable illness" kinda way or a "crazy fucking Wednesday" kinda way?

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 8:01 am

mister d wrote:In a "communicable illness" kinda way or a "crazy fucking Wednesday" kinda way?

I don't know. She left. She doesn't strike me as a "crazy fucking Wednesday" girl, nor as someone who would have the morning sickness at this point in her life.

The receptionist is bleaching the sink.

I'm afraid to touch anything not currently in my office.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:00 am

That happened last week by one of my co-workers in the bathroom sink. I mean, there's a fucking trashcan and two toilets right there.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 10:07 am

I would puke on a coworker before I puked into a public toilet.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:56 am

mister d wrote:I would puke on a coworker before I puked into a public toilet.

Semi-public. I mean, they clean it every couple of hours.

Post by **brian** » Fri Aug 14, 2015 10:12 am

Yeah, your all mileages might vary but the public restrooms at our office in St. Louis are every bit as clean as the ones at my house. We only have like 60 employees, but if worse came to worse I wouldn't have any qualms barfing there.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:00 pm

Such a disheartening feeling when you're caught in a bowel-clenching moment and notice the bathroom is occupied at the same time the desk of the guy who takes 45-minute shits is also unoccupied.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:02 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Such a disheartening feeling when you're caught in a bowel-clenching moment and notice the bathroom is occupied at the same time the desk of the guy who takes 45-minute shits is also unoccupied.

You only have one?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:09 pm

PDX's office must skew young. Rule of thumb is that any single-person bathroom should always be assumed to be occupied by a 60-year-old who will be in there for the better part of an hour.

(e: Sorry for the ageism.)

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:19 pm

Jerloma wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:Such a disheartening feeling when you're caught in a bowel-clenching moment and notice the bathroom is occupied at the same time the desk of the guy who takes 45-minute shits is also unoccupied.

You only have one?

Yes, but it's quite roomy.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:20 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:PDX's office must skew young. Rule of thumb is that any single-person bathroom should always be assumed to be occupied by a 60-year-old who will be in there for the better part of an hour.

(e: Sorry for the ageism.)

True. But also a small enough office to where I know everyone's habits.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Aug 26, 2015 4:38 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:PDX's office must skew young. Rule of thumb is that any single-person bathroom should always be assumed to be occupied by a 60-year-old who will be in there for the better part of an hour.

(e: Sorry for the ageism.)

Well, because I know you're all wondering now, I'll note that I'm 56, regular as a clock, and quick in the shitter!

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:07 pm

Found out that a lady in accounting was arrested for Heroin Trafficking a couple of weeks ago.

The etiquette querstion being: why didn't my co workers tell me before now?

Post by **brian** » Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:10 pm

A_B wrote:Found out that a lady in accounting was arrested for Heroin Trafficking a couple of weeks ago.

The etiquette querstion being: why didn't my co workers tell me before now?

I gotta hang out in Kentucky more often. It sounds exactly like Justified portrayed it.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:26 pm

A_B wrote:Found out that a lady in accounting was arrested for Heroin Trafficking a couple of weeks ago.

The etiquette querstion being: why didn't my co workers tell me before now?

You gotta go out for drinks with the HR ladies a bit more often. Cut them in on your bourbon stash.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sat Aug 29, 2015 9:34 pm

sancarlos wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:PDX's office must skew young. Rule of thumb is that any single-person bathroom should always be assumed to be occupied by a 60-year-old who will be in there for the better part of an hour.

(e: Sorry for the ageism.)
Well, because I know you're all wondering now, I'll note that I'm 56, regular as a clock, and quick in the shitter!

Four years and -- BOOM!!!!!

Everything goes to hell I guess.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sat Aug 29, 2015 9:36 pm

A_B wrote:Found out that a lady in accounting was arrested for Heroin Trafficking a couple of weeks ago.

The etiquette querstion being: why didn't my co workers tell me before now?

Two options:

1. It's a routine thing. Kentucky, after all.

2. They told the FBI that they suspect that you're an accomplice.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:02 am

8:45AM, still prime coffee drinking time.

Why the fuck would someone leave the coffee maker in the following state:

-burner 1, empty (no pot), but turned on
-burner 2, pot with maybe enough coffee for one cup, but turned off

Sociopath...

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:16 am

If you're drinking office coffee, you get what you deserve.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:19 am

mister d wrote:If you're drinking office coffee, you get what you deserve.

Fuck you. Get out of the house shithead.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:31 am

Yeah really. Jeez. Our coffee is starbucks and it's provided free. Yes I can get a better cup, but not by just walking 50 feet.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:37 am

I left the house for coffee this AM.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:41 am

Funny you should mention not refilling the coffee, as I had this conversation literally two minutes ago with a co-worker in the pantry. I once active-aggressively asked a clown who works on the opposite side of the building what good reason he could have possibly had for leaving without starting a new pot.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:44 am

mister d wrote:I left the house for coffee this AM.

We are not surprised.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:45 am

You're almost making me feel like I'm missing out on a large part of the human comedy by not being a coffee drinker.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 8:49 am

Coffee is the cause of and solution to all of life's problems and none of life's problems respectively.