Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 5:15 pm

Rachael Leigh Cook was a hottie.

Is there a giftshop or do I just contact Howard for another Swamp t-shirt? (I can't seem to find my swamp characters one anyway.)

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 5:25 pm

That movie is criminally underrated, and yes, RLC is a hottie. Rosario Dawson is easy on the eyes as well.

ETA - if I make it out to Colorado this spring, your first beer is on me.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 8:55 pm

BFJ, try explaining "Syb" to your wife. Successfully changed the subject on that one.

Short for 'sybarite.'

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 8:57 pm

govmentchedda wrote:Du Jour means friendship.

10 swampbucks to the first one to get that reference.

Stephane DuJour, right wing for the Canadiens in the early 60s. Most popular guy on the team. Tremendous slap shot. Nickname: The Baby Pocket-Rocket.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:23 pm

govmentchedda wrote:That movie is criminally underrated, and yes, RLC is a hottie. Rosario Dawson is easy on the eyes as well.

ETA - if I make it out to Colorado this spring, your first beer is on me.

Excellent! Went to the Falling Rock on Thursday to meet a college buddy, that place is great when you're one of 10 people in the place!

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue Nov 03, 2015 8:17 pm

It's been super adorable seeing Royals fans getting worked up over the NY Post headline on Monday morning about the Mets (Amazin' Disgrace).

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 6:34 am

Share a story about Ted Cruz handling a firearm like a douche and like clockwork you know who defends it reflexively.

If Obama did that, I doubt he'd have the same reaction.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 9:57 am

Johnnie wrote:Share a story about Ted Cruz handling a firearm like a douche and like clockwork you know who defends it reflexively.

If Obama did that, I doubt he'd have the same reaction.

I was actually a bit surprised he supported improper gun protocol. Was he OK with Cruz cooking bacon by wrapping it around the barrel of what I would have called an assault rifle before being schooled that it just looks like an assault rifle?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Nov 04, 2015 3:07 pm

It's him. Any republican can do no wrong. And if that republican claims to be a libertarian, then he's God. It's fucking ridiculous with him.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:01 am

Oh, it's gunna be fun trolling this dude all year. Well, mostly.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 8:28 am

Johnnie wrote:Share a story about Ted Cruz handling a firearm like a douche and like clockwork you know who defends it reflexively.

If Obama did that, I doubt he'd have the same reaction.

Look I hate Cruz and the rest of the right as much as the next guy. I'm also picky about gun safety. But isn't this going a little overboard? Before you jump down my throat, I know the code of gun safety. I know you're supposed to treat every gun as if it is loaded. But can't we kill Cruz over a million other things than carrying a break-action gun backwards? What he is doing is not unsafe or uncommon as far as I know. Would you carry a conventional shotgun like that? Hell no. But can't we all use some common sense when it comes to break-action shotguns? "oh no! he tripped, started to fall, a shell from his belt fell out and on the way to the ground seated perfectly into the barrel, the barrel swung up and caught the stock assembly, and an accidental discharge occurred."

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 9:56 am

So I guess the issue is that when you run your campaign on a platform of guns and Jesus, you should know how to handle a gun. Now, we all know most of these people are just pandering anyway but when you see him looking like a fucking idiot holding that gun, it's actual evidence of it.

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 10:22 am

They generally don't know much about Jeebus, why do you think they'd know much about guns?

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:06 am

I don't but they're generally good at pretending.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 11:39 am

Jerloma wrote:So I guess the issue is that when you run your campaign on a platform of guns and Jesus, you should know how to handle a gun. Now, we all know most of these people are just pandering anyway but when you see him looking like a fucking idiot holding that gun, it's actual evidence of it.

This is my take. I read an article written by a gun enthusiast railing on Cruz, and his argument fell flat for me. I don't know shit about rifles, but it sounds like he is carrying the gun improperly, but it isn't unsafe due to the break-action thing BSF mentioned, and people are latching on to a lame reason to attack. That said, this is a lame photo op saying "look at me, GUNS!!!" If you are going to pander, don't look like a noob. Palin did the same thing with her moose hunting on her reality show. Gun people said it was clear she had very little experience shooting, yet continued to brag about her expertise at shooting and field dressing moose.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 4:37 pm

Fucking hell I hate to play this card, but having been in a warzone and having had to carry firearms, it's the principle. I know there are certain shoulder holsters that flag people behind you. Granted, the firearm is loaded and there's one chambered so the possibility of reaching for it and shooting behind you in a moment of panic is a real thing. So when there's a moment when you consciously make the decision to do something like this, I'll call it out.

Another thing is to routinely handle firearms properly all of the time. Even when they are unloaded and in absolutely no danger of harming another. Shit, when I'm in my M4 class and I have the thing field stripped and cleaning it, I'm still not pointing the barrel at another person. It's just the way things are. He looks like a fucking ignoramous. And he acts like a bigger one.

And if John Kerry is going to catch shit by even holding a firearm and going hunting back during his 2004 run, surely this dope should catch shit by doing the obvious wrong thing.

In short, I agree with Jerloma. And the people coming to his defense are gun nuts to begin with. Which frustrates the hell out of me. Just how much awareness can one lack? If a democrat does this how quick would they be to jump on the dummy? Very.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 6:48 pm

Johnnie wrote:Fucking hell I hate to play this card, but having been in a warzone and having had to carry firearms, it's the principle. I know there are certain shoulder holsters that flag people behind you. Granted, the firearm is loaded and there's one chambered so the possibility of reaching for it and shooting behind you in a moment of panic is a real thing. So when there's a moment when you consciously make the decision to do something like this, I'll call it out.

Another thing is to routinely handle firearms properly all of the time. Even when they are unloaded and in absolutely no danger of harming another. Shit, when I'm in my M4 class and I have the thing field stripped and cleaning it, I'm still not pointing the barrel at another person. It's just the way things are. He looks like a fucking ignoramous. And he acts like a bigger one.

And if John Kerry is going to catch shit by even holding a firearm and going hunting back during his 2004 run, surely this dope should catch shit by doing the obvious wrong thing.

In short, I agree with Jerloma. And the people coming to his defense are gun nuts to begin with. Which frustrates the hell out of me. Just how much awareness can one lack? If a democrat does this how quick would they be to jump on the dummy? Very.

I don't disagree. I just think it's a lame ass attempt. There are plenty of valid reasons that he can fuck off, but to be super nitpicky about something that isn't inherently unsafe just comes off as childish. Find something else to attack.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:03 pm

It's the posturing, not the specific activity, that warrants criticism.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 12:10 am

I made this joke on Facebook:

We also don't know what lie Ben Carson will tell next either

Which led to this (????? my occupation is visible when you hover over my name)

He never told a lie. You should know anything in the MSM is a lie.

and this

Oh yeah (name), and I bet you think that Hillary Clinton never lied either huh? Get your head out of your ass..

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 3:18 am

The Canadian stripper friend I met in Croatia last year has apparently found the man of her dreams and is pregnant by him now. Watching her almost daily postings about being this independent stripper and overall man hater (while also posting about her boyfriends in between and being pissed at them when they inevitably broke up) to this lovestruck goofball Hallmark card version is just weird. People be crazy. I just hope it doesn't affect that kid.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 4:14 pm

I just noticed that Johnnie's Giveafuckometer switched to high instead of low, now. When did that happen, Johnnie?

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 5:23 pm

sancarlos wrote:I just noticed that Johnnie's Giveafuckometer switched to high instead of low, now. When did that happen, Johnnie?

And is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 8:26 pm

It was such a long while ago I forget. I was complaining about something and someone here made the joke by posting that "fixed" gif to update how I really felt. I thought it was hilarious and changed the avatar. This is probably the first time someone has noticed.

Post by **Sabo** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 9:30 pm

Johnnie wrote:It was such a long while ago I forget. I was complaining about something and someone here made the joke by posting that "fixed" gif to update how I really felt. I thought it was hilarious and changed the avatar. This is probably the first time someone has noticed.

I think you changed it during the great Deflategate debate.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 9:57 pm

Is that the one I made?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Sat Nov 07, 2015 10:57 pm

Johnnie wrote:It was such a long while ago I forget. I was complaining about something and someone here made the joke by posting that "fixed" gif to update how I really felt. I thought it was hilarious and changed the avatar. This is probably the first time someone has noticed.

I noticed at the time, but haven't noticed since.

Carson completely admitted he misspoke. I am cracking up at all the Conservatives throwing a hissy fit about the Liberal Media desperately trying to turn anything into a scandal to hurt Carson and deflect away from the issues. How are these people so fucking blind to months worth of Reverend Wright, years worth of crying for a birth certificate despite the birth certificate being presented and authenticated by Hawaii's Republican Governor, OMG, educated in a Madrassa! Saul Alinsky, "palling around with terrorists," secret Muslim, ate a dog! The list is fucking endless. And the so called Liberal Media covered all of this bullshit, because ratings are more important than journalism.

And if the MSM is so liberal and exists solely to crush the Right, why did we hear about the birth certificate and Obama being born in Kenya for years, yet Ted Cruz gets an immediate pass on admittedly being born in a foreign country, because he is eligible for Presidency because "natural born citizen" includes being born in a foreign country if one parent is an American citizen. Umm, did anyone ever doubt Obama's mother's citizenship? I still have yet to hear anyone in the Liberal Media point this out. And Cruz's father fought for Fidel Castro!!! A fucking commie revolutionary fighter who took part in a violent coup over a President supported by the US! Meanwhile, Obama is deadset on destroying the US because his father, whom he met twice, opposed European countries colonizing African countries, exploiting the people and stealing the natural resources. Seriously, who wouldn't object to foreign countries taking over your country, installing their own governments to rule over you and rob you of all of your wealth and resources?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Nov 08, 2015 1:42 am

A_B wrote:Is that the one I made?

I think you were involved. And if you take credit, I think it was you.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Mon Nov 09, 2015 12:07 pm

Johnnie wrote:The Canadian stripper friend I met in Croatia last year has apparently found the man of her dreams and is pregnant by him now. Watching her almost daily postings about being this independent stripper and overall man hater (while also posting about her boyfriends in between and being pissed at them when they inevitably broke up) to this lovestruck goofball Hallmark card version is just weird. People be crazy. I just hope it doesn't affect that kid.

The dynamic that I get the most (cruel) humor out of from FB is when some chick who I know is a total slag couples up with some starry-eyed chump who'd getting all lovey-dovey over her on social media. It's like "dude, if you only knew."

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Nov 09, 2015 1:38 pm

P.D.X. wrote:
Johnnie wrote:The Canadian stripper friend I met in Croatia last year has apparently found the man of her dreams and is pregnant by him now. Watching her almost daily postings about being this independent stripper and overall man hater (while also posting about her boyfriends in between and being pissed at them when they inevitably broke up) to this lovestruck goofball Hallmark card version is just weird. People be crazy. I just hope it doesn't affect that kid.
The dynamic that I get the most (cruel) humor out of from FB is when some chick who I know is a total slag couples up with some starry-eyed chump who'd getting all lovey-dovey over her on social media. It's like "dude, if you only knew."

Absolutely. I could have been doing drugs off of that girl in Croatia. She went to Croatia for her Australian boyfriend at the time. He was fucking other girls with her there. Her birthday fell during the week and she was a sloppy, pathetic mess. Then she moved to Australia for about 6 months and hated it. I could go on. But she and her now bf are all goofy with each other and it's sad. I'm just like "this will be a messy breakup."

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Nov 09, 2015 2:05 pm

Johnnie wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:
Johnnie wrote:The Canadian stripper friend I met in Croatia last year has apparently found the man of her dreams and is pregnant by him now. Watching her almost daily postings about being this independent stripper and overall man hater (while also posting about her boyfriends in between and being pissed at them when they inevitably broke up) to this lovestruck goofball Hallmark card version is just weird. People be crazy. I just hope it doesn't affect that kid.
The dynamic that I get the most (cruel) humor out of from FB is when some chick who I know is a total slag couples up with some starry-eyed chump who'd getting all lovey-dovey over her on social media. It's like "dude, if you only knew."
Absolutely. I could have been doing drugs off of that girl in Croatia. She went to Croatia for her Australian boyfriend at the time. He was fucking other girls with her there. Her birthday fell during the week and she was a sloppy, pathetic mess. Then she moved to Australia for about 6 months and hated it. I could go on. But she and her now bf are all goofy with each other and it's sad. I'm just like "this will be a messy breakup."

And the good news is that she is spawning.

Look for that kid to be on the news in about 16 years or so.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:30 pm

I so badly want to rant about what happened in Paris but I know it it just not worth the arguments it will incite. Maybe France will finally start acting like a real country now. Oh wait, people said the same after we bailed them out of both of those little World War things.

Not going to comment on WWII but the US bailed France out of WW1? JFC, pick up a history book please.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:43 pm

Captioned "We Stand With Paris"

Presented unironically by a guy I went to high school with.

howard · Post by **howard** » Sat Nov 14, 2015 3:36 pm

I have to admit, I bet buzzing around the tourist parts of Paris on a segway would be awesome.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sat Nov 14, 2015 11:11 pm

Guy I knew in high school. Big fan of Ted Cruz. Thinks Marco Rubio is too liberal.

Hmmmm, I thought Gun Control was strict in France????

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:05 am

sancarlos wrote:Guy I knew in high school. Big fan of Ted Cruz. Thinks Marco Rubio is too liberal.

Hmmmm, I thought Gun Control was strict in France????

Clearly there's nothing that can happen that will convince gun fetishists that these weapons should be controlled. But one day, we will see an event where 20 red blooded Americans, just trying to defend themselves, start shooting at each other because of a perceived threat.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:16 am

Gun nuts are the worst. They read about gun control laws in other countries and go right to that tired, bullshit argument of "Herp derp shouldda had more gunzz!!"

Nevermind they've never traveled to Europe in any capacity let alone their fucking counties or even state.

They're fucking idiots. Tell me what you do when this starts happening, you brazen mix of John Wayne/Dirty Harry/Stone Cold Steve Austin/Chris Kyle:

NSFL warning with this video, btw. You won't see gore, but you'll see the beginning of panic and pandemonium.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:59 am

Pro tip: Next time a tragedy occurs, look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 9:21 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:Pro tip: Next time a tragedy occurs, look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead.

Perfectly stated.

The reaction of people to an event like what happened in Paris on Friday is becoming completely predictable.

1) Share the news.

2) Change avatars/post messages of support

3) Choose either a) Hard core response (ie "no refugees here!") or b) Point out that not all members of the group associated with causing the tragedy (Muslims, the mentally ill, gun owners) are culpable

4) "look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead."

5) Look for the long ago root causes of the event and shame everyone.

6) React negatively to institutional response to the events.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 10:18 am

Pruitt wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:Pro tip: Next time a tragedy occurs, look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead.
Perfectly stated.

The reaction of people to an event like what happened in Paris on Friday is becoming completely predictable.

1) Share the news.

2) Change avatars/post messages of support

3) Choose either a) Hard core response (ie "no refugees here!") or b) Point out that not all members of the group associated with causing the tragedy (Muslims, the mentally ill, gun owners) are culpable

4) "look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead."

5) Look for the long ago root causes of the event and shame everyone.

6) React negatively to institutional response to the events.

Summing up 60% of my social media:

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 12:08 pm

Pruitt wrote:
Johnny Carwash wrote:Pro tip: Next time a tragedy occurs, look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead.
Perfectly stated.

The reaction of people to an event like what happened in Paris on Friday is becoming completely predictable.

1) Share the news.

2) Change avatars/post messages of support

3) Choose either a) Hard core response (ie "no refugees here!") or b) Point out that not all members of the group associated with causing the tragedy (Muslims, the mentally ill, gun owners) are culpable

4) "look for another tragedy happening at the same time so you can self-righteously admonish people for not paying attention to it instead."

5) Look for the long ago root causes of the event and shame everyone.

6) React negatively to institutional response to the events.

7) Blame Obama, Democrats, liberals, etc.