CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:29 am

Our office just has Keurigs (Sybian faints) so that's not ever an issue. I still get a chuckle ever since I watched one of my co-workers just stare at it for about 10 seconds then walk off just because it had an "empty the bin" message.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:05 am

A_B wrote:
mister d wrote:I left the house for coffee this AM.
We are not surprised.

Sheesh. Prima donnas who are too good for office coffee (ours was actually quite good.)

elflaco · Post by **elflaco** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:10 am

Giff wrote:Our office just has Keurigs (Sybian faints) so that's not ever an issue. I still get a chuckle ever since I watched one of my co-workers just stare at it for about 10 seconds then walk off just because it had an "empty the bin" message.

THIS..

if i catch the one who knowingly leaves the bin full ... there'll be hell to pay. my cup is full throughout they day - must make 4-6 trips.
(not Keurigs.. similar..

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 10:22 am

We have a Kuerig, but the k-cups are employee supplied. I don't see any reason to pay for slightly less shitty coffee. I guess I don't want to pay for better coffee on my way to work everyday. Even if I was ready to commit to grinding and brewing my own coffee every weekday morning (as I do on the weekends), it would get cold on the mornings I go to the gym before work. I can get through a couple of cups of the individually packaged pre-ground stuff supplied by work if it's hot enough. Yes it is not great coffee, but no that doesn't excuse my co-workers from being assholes and/or oblivious (the latter sadly a possibility if one of the doddering old receptionists decides to tidy up the kitchen).

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 11:15 am

rass wrote:We have a Kuerig, but the k-cups are employee supplied. I don't see any reason to pay for slightly less shitty coffee. I guess I don't want to pay for better coffee on my way to work everyday. Even if I was ready to commit to grinding and brewing my own coffee every weekday morning (as I do on the weekends), it would get cold on the mornings I go to the gym before work. I can get through a couple of cups of the individually packaged pre-ground stuff supplied by work if it's hot enough. Yes it is not great coffee, but no that doesn't excuse my co-workers from being assholes and/or oblivious (the latter sadly a possibility if one of the doddering old receptionists decides to tidy up the kitchen).

So you have a K-Cup and 2 coffee pots? Your company really wants to keep employees hopped up.

On the days i go in, I make a pot of coffee at home and usually drink it on the drive into work. There is decent coffee in the building's cafeteria, but I will usually slum it with the K-Cup. I find mixing 2 different cups slightly masks the horribleness of each individual cup. I also increase the sugar for the Dunkin Donuts effect. Lately, I go for a Monster instead of coffee when at the office.

at my first job, we had a rotation of attorneys buying coffee for the office. The staff positions with the government pay well below living wage with the paltry location pay increase. Everyone bought the giant tubs of Maxwell House or Folgers. I made the mistake of bringing in quality beans once, and was made fun of mercilessly.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Wed Oct 28, 2015 1:29 pm

Eh, better a pot with no coffee than coffee with no pot.

That was my slick move years back. I was the first one in, and even though I didn't drink coffee then, I decided to make it for the others who would be coming in.

Fifteen minutes later, a secretary comes into my office, asking if I started the coffee. "Of course!" says I, all proud of myself and ready to be thanked. But no thank-yous were to be had. Because now there was freshly brewed coffee all over the counter and floor.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Oct 30, 2015 7:41 am

I walked out of my office and into a cloud of dust as today is apparently the ideal day to sand down the skim coat they applied to the walls of the hallway earlier this week.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Nov 02, 2015 9:16 am

rass wrote:
tennbengal wrote:
rass wrote:
rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
Hulk Hands
I had this one wrong. It should have been "Hulk Smash", because he is a grown ass man who regularly wears a bright green t-shirt with the front depicting the Hulk's torso.

Today he walked in wearing a Minion themed t-shirt with the message "Monday Again?" printed on the front...
#hero
Another update.

I'm pretty sure he had been driving a brownish, vaguely Ford-ish sedan. Today he has a white Camaro convertible.

Monday Again? again.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:12 pm

So, there's a used condom in the parking lot at my office.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:16 pm

A_B wrote:So, there's a used condom in the parking lot at my office.

Was the bathroom occupied and you didn't have a spare sock in the car?

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:30 pm

Define "used".

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:42 pm

mister d wrote:Define "used".

Well. To be fair, it could just have been unopened and rolled out and discarded. I didn't really, um, confirm.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 12:15 pm

1) When you read a 10-digit number, read it like a phone number: 123-456-7890. Ways you're not supposed to read it: 12-3-456-7-890, 1234-5-67980, 1234-567-890, 12-34-56-7-890, 12345-67890, 1-2-3-4-567890, 1-234567890, 12-345678-90.

2) When transferring a client and the first and last name, she is referred to as "Ms. Lastname", not, I repeat fucking not, "firstname". If they are not telling you their first name, it is "Sir" or "Ma'am". The only time it is acceptable to use a first name to non-familiar clients (as in you send them fucking Christmas cards) or prospective clients by their first names is when there are multiple people of the same gender and the same last name.

Fuck you, Millennials.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:47 pm

what about email addresses?

For example we have a records.requests email.

When I read it out I want to emphasize that both words are plural.
I try to stress the S on the end of each word but on the phone sometimes it doesn't come through.

Can I say "Records - plural - dot - requests - also plural - at - whatever.ca"?

or does that sound really dumb.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:57 pm

I spell with the NATO alphabet, but that's just Mike Echo.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 5:44 pm

degenerasian wrote:what about email addresses?

For example we have a records.requests email.

When I read it out I want to emphasize that both words are plural.
I try to stress the S on the end of each word but on the phone sometimes it doesn't come through.

Can I say "Records - plural - dot - requests - also plural - at - whatever.ca"?

or does that sound really dumb.

I think if you say "plural", a disturbingly high number of people will use an apostrophe.

Post by **Shirley** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 6:24 pm

Who the fuck throws their gum in the urinal? At work? I mean, I'm at Microsoft, surrounded by highly educated white-collar workers. It's baffling to me.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 6:30 pm

Oh no!!!

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Nov 20, 2015 6:31 pm

Shirley wrote:Who the fuck throws their gum in the urinal? At work? I mean, I'm at Microsoft, surrounded by highly educated white-collar workers. It's baffling to me.

I'm baffled by most graffiti/defacing of urinal areas. Like, are dudes standing there peeing while drawing cocks on the wall?

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:08 pm

My office mate just received a call from the receptionist. Apparently a package had been delivered for him. The full extent of her call was:

You have a small package.

He barely kept it together before she got off the line, and I'm still gigging.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:15 pm

P.D.X. wrote:
Shirley wrote:Who the fuck throws their gum in the urinal? At work? I mean, I'm at Microsoft, surrounded by highly educated white-collar workers. It's baffling to me.
I'm baffled by most graffiti/defacing of urinal areas. Like, are dudes standing there peeing while drawing cocks on the wall?

About 10 years ago I was in the bathroom at Barnes and Noble and there was a clearly disturbed guy writing on the wall above the urinal. Only time I've seen it in the act. I told one of the employees, and was immediately struck with regret at subjecting them to what would probably be the least pleasant experience they'd have in a while.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:16 pm

rass wrote:My office mate just received a call from the receptionist. Apparently a package had been delivered for him. The full extent of her call was:

You have a small package.
He barely kept it together before she got off the line, and I'm still gigging.

No chance I don't instantaneously laugh.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 3:02 pm

And just now, rather than calling me she walked a substantially larger box down to my office.

Size queen?

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:33 pm

So, please read this sentence:

Thank you, with Mike’s approval, we’d like to go ahead and get these ordered, including the monitors.

Does that tell you to go ahead and place the order because Mike's approved it, or that you should wait to place the order until Mike's approved it?

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:36 pm

Sabo wrote:So, please read this sentence:

Thank you, with Mike’s approval, we’d like to go ahead and get these ordered, including the monitors.
Does that tell you to go ahead and place the order because Mike's approved it, or that you should wait to place the order until Mike's approved it?

Mike's the bottleneck.

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:39 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Mike's the bottleneck.

Don't get me started about that little factoid.

howard · Post by **howard** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:55 pm

Mike already approved. Well, at least he approved the thank you.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Thu Dec 03, 2015 7:05 pm

Sabo wrote:So, please read this sentence:

Thank you, with Mike’s approval, we’d like to go ahead and get these ordered, including the monitors.
Does that tell you to go ahead and place the order because Mike's approved it, or that you should wait to place the order until Mike's approved it?

It depends. Are you the seller? Then by all means treat it as an approved order and close the deal. If you are the buyer and you will get yelled at if Mike hasn't approved it, then get clarification.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:11 am

Advice request: I semi-officially oversee a group of people working on projects of varying degrees of complexity under a wider program. One of the more complex and visible projects, through a series of quirky circumstances, ended up being assigned to a team member who is pretty clearly out of his depth and for a lack of a better term, kind of "slow." What's the best way to broach with my manager the subject of reassigning the project, without coming off like I'm trying to be negative about this one team member?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:12 am

(placeholder for snarky AB/Ryan/Mister D response to the above)

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:15 am

I think you have to decide whether it is more important to shield the reputation of the slow team member, or if it is more important to successfully complete the project. Hopefully, you have a good enough relationship with your manager that you can tactfully explain that this person has value but can't handle his current assignment.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:17 am

Is there an easy out like youth or inexperience or unattractiveness versus "this person sucks"?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:18 am

sancarlos wrote:I think you have to decide whether it is more important to shield the reputation of the slow team member, or if it is more important to successfully complete the project. Hopefully, you have a good enough relationship with your manager that you can tactfully explain that this person has value but can't handle his current assignment.

Sounds like he is the manager and is trying to figure out a way to reassign the duties in a way that will give more responsibilty to a more competent employee.

I'd say the best way is to find another project that you can spin as more suited to the slower person's skills and then, when they counter that they are working on the visible project you can say that maybe you can move some resources to help them while not fully removing them from said project.

Also, you could fire the slow ass motherfucker and hire someone competent.

duff · Post by **duff** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:19 am

My first thought was the "slow" team member was a relative of someone higher on the food chain.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 10:33 am

The guy in question's primary role is working in technology stuff; a while ago they tried giving him some project management responsibilities as well, and he's pretty clearly in over his head. This project in particular would require a level of proactivity and communication skills he doesn't really have.

We just added a new person who has a good background specifically in this type of work, so this is a good opportunity to reassign things without looking like anyone is being called out. Just trying to prepare how I'd respond to any potential questions of why I'm keen on moving this particular project to someone else. I'm far from a "fire this asshole" type of person and it's not in the culture of my present team anyway; I've been on the wrong end of snap judgments in the past and am extremely wary of doing anything that would jeopardize another person's assessment.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:34 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:The guy in question's primary role is working in technology stuff; a while ago they tried giving him some project management responsibilities as well, and he's pretty clearly in over his head. This project in particular would require a level of proactivity and communication skills he doesn't really have.

We just added a new person who has a good background specifically in this type of work, so this is a good opportunity to reassign things without looking like anyone is being called out. Just trying to prepare how I'd respond to any potential questions of why I'm keen on moving this particular project to someone else. I'm far from a "fire this asshole" type of person and it's not in the culture of my present team anyway; I've been on the wrong end of snap judgments in the past and am extremely wary of doing anything that would jeopardize another person's assessment.

"New Team Member has the perfect expertise for this project, and it is a great opportunity to allow him to immediately make a big contribution to the team."

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:36 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:The guy in question's primary role is working in technology stuff; a while ago they tried giving him some project management responsibilities as well, and he's pretty clearly in over his head. This project in particular would require a level of proactivity and communication skills he doesn't really have.

We just added a new person who has a good background specifically in this type of work, so this is a good opportunity to reassign things without looking like anyone is being called out. Just trying to prepare how I'd respond to any potential questions of why I'm keen on moving this particular project to someone else. I'm far from a "fire this asshole" type of person and it's not in the culture of my present team anyway; I've been on the wrong end of snap judgments in the past and am extremely wary of doing anything that would jeopardize another person's assessment.

I just had to snark a bit.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:37 am

rass wrote:My office mate just received a call from the receptionist. Apparently a package had been delivered for him. The full extent of her call was:

You have a small package.
He barely kept it together before she got off the line, and I'm still gigging.

Sexual harassment suit!!!

Thank you, with Mike’s approval, we’d like to go ahead and get these ordered, including the monitors.

I'd interpret that you are waiting for Mike's approval.

DaveInSeattle · Post by **DaveInSeattle** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 11:59 am

The Sybian wrote:
So you have a K-Cup and 2 coffee pots? Your company really wants to keep employees hopped up.

In our new building, they intentionally put all of the coffee machines (4 different machines, each with 2 types of beans...and they do coffee/espresso/latte/etc drinks) on the top floor. No private machines allowed anywhere. The thinking is that it will make employees "mix" and will encourage collaboration.

Post by **brian** » Tue Dec 08, 2015 12:04 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:The guy in question's primary role is working in technology stuff; a while ago they tried giving him some project management responsibilities as well, and he's pretty clearly in over his head. This project in particular would require a level of proactivity and communication skills he doesn't really have.

We just added a new person who has a good background specifically in this type of work, so this is a good opportunity to reassign things without looking like anyone is being called out. Just trying to prepare how I'd respond to any potential questions of why I'm keen on moving this particular project to someone else. I'm far from a "fire this asshole" type of person and it's not in the culture of my present team anyway; I've been on the wrong end of snap judgments in the past and am extremely wary of doing anything that would jeopardize another person's assessment.

If the guy's a good employee, just ill-suited for the position, and can contribute somewhere he has more expertise then it seems silly to carry on some kind of charade that he's a good fit. You've pretty much said here what you should say to your boss. "XYZ is great at what he usually does (assuming he is), but he's just not a fit for what we're asking him to do for this project. ABC person can step in and take over and let's find something more in line with what XYZ is good at."