Swamp RimWorld Challenge 2017 - The Final Countdown

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:13 am

Am I wearing a helmet or an oversized beanie?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:15 am

P.D.X. wrote:Am I wearing a helmet or an oversized beanie?

I like to think it's both.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:23 am

A_B wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:Am I wearing a helmet or an oversized beanie?
I like to think it's both.

It's Mark Kelso's beanie.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:25 am

So with a decent number of votes, the jungle biome is the clear winner for where Swampville IV should pitch its hopes and fortunes. Hope you guys like malaria.

New poll up asking what the new colony pet should be. There are like 50+ animals overall, but you can only have 10 options in a poll, so I selected a subset. Note that all the animals except the house cat can be trained to attack people.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:28 am

Post by **brian** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:32 am

I think if you're in the jungle a capybara is a no-brainer right there.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:35 am

I love my hair!

This team can't lose, we have a doctor, a vet AND a housewife!

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:36 am

I voted for a capybara because I want to be able to joke about Rafael Nadal.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:37 am

Count me in for Swampville 4: Emu's Revenge.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:51 am

brian wrote:I think if you're in the jungle a capybara is a no-brainer right there.

I didn't choose elephant because I was afraid we'd get stuck with a savannah elephant rather than a proper forest elephant. These are risks better untaken.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:32 pm

All of the animals are going to turn on the settlers. All of them (the cat first of course.)

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 2:11 pm

The Swamp has spoken and you guys are getting a capybara.

I'll start the game tonight and will update once we hit a major decision point. In the meantime, enjoy the "who dies first?" poll.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:26 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: I'll set the over/under on "is Giff OK?" jokes in this thread at 46.

Don't try this preemptive strike shit, Carwash. Just for that, I'm going to push the over.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 3:40 pm

Well fuck you peasants.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 5:41 pm

Forgot to ask: since AB is along this time, should I pretend he bullies everyone out of using solar power and into the old-fashioned way of destroying natural resources?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 6:24 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Forgot to ask: since AB is along this time, should I pretend he bullies everyone out of using solar power and into the old-fashioned way of destroying natural resources?

While drunk and talking about golf. Yes.

Also, how many minutes/hours equals a day of game time? Just curious.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 6:48 pm

Johnnie wrote:Also, how many minutes/hours equals a day of game time? Just curious.

A game day is I think about 10 minutes of real time at default speed, but I play at vastly accelerated speed most of the time.

Also, a "season" in the game is 15 days, so that's why you're seeing the seasons change in relatively little time.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 7:46 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:Forgot to ask: since AB is along this time, should I pretend he bullies everyone out of using solar power and into the old-fashioned way of destroying natural resources?

Obviously. Peasants.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 7:51 pm

Ha. We're all scared to pick Moreta.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 7:58 pm

rass wrote:Ha. We're all scared to pick Moreta.

I think we're just sticking with the horror movie cliches.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:00 pm

Oh.

I went with Giff for the "OK" jokes, but hovered over her name since killing off the medic seems to make the game interesting.

Though as mentioned howard's untimely hit the horror trope, so?

Moreta · Post by **Moreta** » Fri Dec 16, 2016 9:35 pm

rass wrote:Ha. We're all scared to pick Moreta.

I ain't skeered. Plus, if we're going with horror movie tropes, the man hater isn't likely to last long. She will also die a particularly grisly death and perhaps be eaten by a capybara.

I'm really touched to be included. Does this mean I have to read the plot posts and not just the funny repartee?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 7:57 am

So here we are in the jungle. We conveniently landed in a space between two large rock formations, which will help establish a solid defensive perimeter. I cut you guys a break and added some anti-malaria medicine to the initial supplies. The pet capybara has been auto-named Magnolia (it is male). There are monkeys around. Lots of them.

The colonists get to work...or at least some of them do. I should call this place "College" because it features the woman and the Asian guy working hard while the white guys fuck around assuming things will just work out for them in the end. At AB's behest we forego solar panels in favor of a conventional generator that uses as its fuel the trees of this beautiful rainforest.

One of the monkeys in the area self-tames and joins as a pet. She is named Estelle.

Before long we have our first run in with the local gang of pirates, who are named "The Loyal Frogs." What, are they trying to suggest we aren't the "real" Frogs? Fuck those guys! Two of them show up and are easily dispatched. PDX takes a gunshot wound but it isn't bad.

degen and Giff fight! There can only be one red jacket guy!

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 7:59 am

A few days later we see someone on the horizon, running from the pirates. Hey look, it's duff!

duff grew up on a dystopian cave world before escaping to become a successful entrepreneur. He has a decent range of skills and is a hard worker, willing to do the grunt work (casts eyes at AB). He is staggeringly ugly (boy, someone must have beaten this colony with the proverbial stick). And what is the deal with that hair? It's like a 1950's pompadour/mohawk hybrid?

And here come the pirates after him. Time to spring into action. A pirate stops to throw a Molotov cocktail at our monkey and is drilled in the back by Moreta. The other flees. duff is immediately tending to our crops. What a trooper!

Moreta and PDX come down with malaria. Uh oh. They are put on bed rest until they fully recover, which they do.

The base has reached a point where our current power output isn't quite cutting it. We've already cut down most of the trees in the immediate vicinity, and they don't yield too much wood to begin with, so AB finally caves and allows you liberal pansies to build a couple of wind turbines.

A quick check on the social dynamics: This is by far the most dysfunctional group of colonists yet. Moreta, as expected, doesn't like any of her male peers, though she dislikes degen the least. Giff and duff are universally disliked for their ugliness, including by each other. Within days of joining, duff has two fist fights with Giff, and then knocks out degen. duff then has a mental break and runs to cower in the bedroom. Despite all this, the interpersonal conflict has not reached a point where it threatens the basic operations of the colony. Yet.

duff · Post by **duff** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:59 am

Johnny Carwash wrote:A few days later we see someone on the horizon, running from the pirates. Hey look, it's duff!

That pic reminds me of my grandmother.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 9:01 am

On the plus side we'll all have some dead bald eagles to feast on soon.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 12:02 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:There are monkeys around. Lots of them.

Anybody here watched the Werner Herzog film 'Aguirre: The Wrath of God'? I imagine the final scene of Swampville IV is going to look like this, with degen playing the role of Klaus Kinski.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 12:10 pm

Stinging from their earlier defeat, The Loyal Frogs regroup and send a larger raiding party this time. We'll be waiting.

The first raider, Oleg, rounds the corner and is immediately met by duff, who attacks him with a club. Magnolia the capybara and Estelle the monkey join the fight. AB fires into the fray but accidentally hits Estelle, killing her! Duff finishes beating Oleg to death. Hittman rushes forward, firing, and is dropped by multiple bullets. Thompson begins lobbing grenades and we have to dodge them until Magnolia pounces on him. Giggles shoots at Magnolia but hits Thompson and kills him. The raiders flee.

A wanderer appears, looking to join the colony. It's EnochRoot!

EnochRoot had a fascination with bones as a child, and grew up to be an osteologist. In addition to his scientific knowledge, he is good with animals and has an artistic streak, but refuses to do manual labor. He appears on the horizon naked except for a cowboy hat and a gun.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 12:10 pm

Not too long before we get our next refugee--a woman named Lacey, pursued by angry tribespeople. She is degen's mom! She is good at artistry and melee combat(!)

Here they come, funneling into our trap...we easily drop four of them.

A group of visitors from the "friendly" colony of Red Lemur Toxo stop by. They eat a bunch of our meals and do absolutely nothing for us in return.

With some down time, we set up a rec room with a TV, a pool table, a chess table, and a horseshoes pin. You could now say that the jungle...has fun and games.

Preparing for more dangerous enemy attacks, we set about crafting upgraded weapons. The first is an assault rifle, which will be wielded by Moreta. This place has officially become Ferguson.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 1:58 pm

You could now say that the jungle...has fun and games.

I laughed.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:00 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:
A group of visitors from the "friendly" colony of Red Lemur Toxo stop by. They eat a bunch of our meals and do absolutely nothing for us in return.

Time to build a wall.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:01 pm

Did we find Mr. Root some threads?

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:04 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote:Did we find Mr. Root some threads?

Trenchcoat.

duff · Post by **duff** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 2:53 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: You could now say that the jungle...has fun and games.

Preparing for more dangerous enemy attacks, we set about crafting upgraded weapons. The first is an assault rifle, which will be wielded by Moreta. This place has officially become Ferguson.

Love both of these.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:13 pm

Hey, so remember how P.D.X. requested that we put major decision points up to a Swamp vote? Be careful what you wish for...

So, P.D.X.'s pyromania, which I had initially assumed was just an amusing personality quirk, has to our surprise become an actual problem. See, he has this tendency to occasionally go on uncontrollable binges of lighting random objects on fire, even if I didn't ask him to. So far we've managed to avoid any disasters, but this doesn't bode well for a settlement of mostly wood construction set within a vast sea of trees.

So, I'll put it up to a vote (see the poll at the top) whether we think extreme proactive measures are necessary for the safety of the colony.

Now, if we *do* decide to do this, I have to note that the game doesn't allow you to directly order one of your guys to kill another who isn't an immediate threat. However, there are a few creative ways around this:

1. Go all Cask of Amontillado on his ass and build him into a room with no door and wait for him to starve to death.
2. Wait for him to get wounded in the normal course of events and then conveniently decide he needs to be euthanized regardless of the severity of his injuries.
3. Send him into a predicament where he runs a high risk of dying (e.g. charging into a raiding party unarmed or hunting a dangerous animal)
4. Have him mine into an area without concern for the structural integrity of the rock around him, causing a cave-in
5. Treat him as an enemy actor during one of his pyro binges and use lethal force; if he survives, take him prisoner and judge him worthy of execution.

One thing I want to stress before you guys jump to any conclusions is that I *think* keeping P.D.X. around is manageable. His pyro binges are relatively short in duration, we can usually put out the fires before they do much damage, and I'm gradually converting all buildings to be constructed out of stone so they aren't flammable. However, there is still an *outside* chance that he could start an inconveniently-timed fire that causes a chain reaction leading to the complete destruction of the base and everyone's deaths from starvation and exposure. Just make sure your choice is properly reasoned.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:16 pm

I thought the rainforest would mitigate my pyro risks.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:17 pm

Mine that mineral.

Post by **Sabo** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 3:18 pm

A_B wrote:Mine that mineral.

The lord has spoken.

Moreta · Post by **Moreta** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 5:37 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote:
Preparing for more dangerous enemy attacks, we set about crafting upgraded weapons. The first is an assault rifle, which will be wielded by Moreta. This place has officially become Ferguson.

I'm more of a katana girl but I guess I'll settle.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 5:43 pm

Things are looking up for PDX, no unequivocal "Yes" votes so far. Guess Gunpowder hasn't checked in yet.

Best moment of Swampvilles I-V