CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
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- Johnny Carwash
- The Dude
- Posts: 5955
- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:57 am
- Location: Land of 10,000 Sununus
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Going to make "Bloody Handles" one of the OOTP minor league teams.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
"After I was at my desk for a few, I noticed blood on my finger. No idea where I got scratched or that I so messed up anywhere. I did immediately put a bandage on."Nonlinear FC wrote:Yeah, I'm gonna need a LOT more info on this.
Why is she bleeding on everything handle related?
How is she unaware?
Did she clean the shit up?
WTF is "pure" about her blood?
Her fellow receptionist cleaned up.
She is a "bring a paper towel back from the bathroom to use to open the doors" type, so I have no idea how she was bleeding with the hand she used to open the door and didn't notice anything.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
1.) "pure blood" Is she German?rass wrote:Our part-time, afternoon receptionist says "(t)here is a good possibility that it was" her. She says she has very "pure" blood, and just had a "routine blood work" come back clean last month.
2.) I have had blood tests and never even have to think about it "coming back clean". What does she do for her other job(s)/free time that would put her as a high risk to even think about this.
This reminds me of the temp admin at microsoft, who without asking, told everyone that he danced in an elevated cage 4 nights a week as a second job (and invited us to come to the place).
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
wlulax wrote down the name of the place, but when he went to google it later he could find a bar called the Amnhole and missed the show.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
- The Sybian
- The Dude
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- Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Damn, too late to make a joke about the "pure" blood and her not being a damned dirty Jew (replying to all, of course). With a follow up e-mail a few minutes later saying "just kidding, I have lots of kike friends." Or, "your blood work came back clean, but that was before you fucked that skeezy Armenian guy bareback, right?"rass wrote:Our part-time, afternoon receptionist says "(t)here is a good possibility that it was" her. She says she has very "pure" blood, and just had a "routine blood work" come back clean last month.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
-Pruitt
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
I had a colleague tell me - without prompting - that he runs a trivia night contest at some bar while in drag. He then showed me a picture of him in drag - again, without prompting. He's an astoundingly ugly woman.wlu_lax6 wrote: This reminds me of the temp admin at microsoft, who without asking, told everyone that he danced in an elevated cage 4 nights a week as a second job (and invited us to come to the place).
THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH GALA LUNCHEONS, LAD!
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Perhaps he thought he was receiving some, um, prompting.Sabo wrote:I had a colleague tell me - without prompting - that he runs a trivia night contest at some bar while in drag. He then showed me a picture of him in drag - again, without prompting. He's an astoundingly ugly woman.wlu_lax6 wrote: This reminds me of the temp admin at microsoft, who without asking, told everyone that he danced in an elevated cage 4 nights a week as a second job (and invited us to come to the place).
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Literally just had a client tell me that we need to "Jimmy Buffet-up" the draft logos we sent them. They're commercial real estate developers.
- Brontoburglar
- The Dude
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
so he wants palm trees and margaritas? parrots?
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Dude, please please please send him a cartoon of a 65 year old throwing up in bushes with their company logo over top.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Hot (married) chick in our office just went home in tears for the 3rd time this week. I smell trouble in paradise.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Unless her dog is sick and needs to be put to sleep.P.D.X. wrote:Hot (married) chick in our office just went home in tears for the 3rd time this week. I smell trouble in paradise.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
She's been huddling the other girls around all week. Maybe a cat.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
She's not into having kids. Not saying that's impossible but def unlikely. (And I'd opine that infidelity is also highly unlikely.)
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
There is a new-ish girl here that has the best ass and walk I've ever seen. I love that my office is between hers and the bathroom.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
- Nonlinear FC
- The Dude
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Someone I don't know on the elevator told me whenever she sees me, she thinks "There's Mr. J. Crew."
I'll take that.
I'll take that.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Better than Mr. Walmart.Nonlinear FC wrote:Someone I don't know on the elevator told me whenever she sees me, she thinks "There's Mr. J. Crew."
I'll take that.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
So we had this phishing incident (damn those emails look real) and so Risk contacts me to help them with a communication for the contact center on how to handle these calls. They mention about 8 times that they don't want it to be alarmist. Then they draft one up themselves to give me an example of what they'd like it to look like. Here's how it starts...
ATTENTION - IMPORTANT INFORMATION!
ATTENTION - IMPORTANT INFORMATION!
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
- A_B
- The Dude
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
We got an almost identical one of those from our IT two weeks ago. They had a bunch of people report it to them as a phish, so they had to send out a disclaimer saying it was real.
Anyway, there has been a dollar in the men's room at my office for about 10 days now. It started in the largest stall, but has since moved to the sink. It moves in small random ways occasionally. We're thinking of adding a dollar per day to see what the number is that someone actually takes it.
Anyway, there has been a dollar in the men's room at my office for about 10 days now. It started in the largest stall, but has since moved to the sink. It moves in small random ways occasionally. We're thinking of adding a dollar per day to see what the number is that someone actually takes it.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
- degenerasian
- The Dude
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
really?
I would have taken that dollar immediately
I would have taken that dollar immediately
Kung Fu movies are like porn. There's 1 on 1, then 2 on 1, then a group scene..
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Wipe a bit of chocolate on the next dollar bill.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
- A_B
- The Dude
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Another guy and I have been placing an extra bill a day in. The pot is three, rising to 4 upon my first visit today. I thought $3 would be the number that the janitor took it. Instead, they stacked the three dollars very neatly.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
- A_B
- The Dude
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- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Holy shit someone has put a bowl in and donations up to 6 dollars!
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
This saga is better than anything on network TV.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
This is one of those social experiments that begins modestly and ends with a renewed sense of humanity.
If it was happening on Reddit it would go viral, make the evening news, and then everyone ends up being part of a potato salad party.
If it was happening on Reddit it would go viral, make the evening news, and then everyone ends up being part of a potato salad party.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
- A_B
- The Dude
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- Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:36 am
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Seven dollars now...but someone has put a five in and removed some ones. SOMEONE MADE CHANGE.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Update: She's dropped her married name off her FB profile and neither her or her husband's profile pic includes the other one (pretty sure they both did prior).P.D.X. wrote:Hot (married) chick in our office just went home in tears for the 3rd time this week. I smell trouble in paradise.
(I'm close enough that I could just ask her but sleuthing it out is kind of fun.)
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Yup. Divorce time. The name change on Facebook is YUUUUGE.P.D.X. wrote:Update: She's dropped her married name off her FB profile and neither her or her husband's profile pic includes the other one (pretty sure they both did prior).P.D.X. wrote:Hot (married) chick in our office just went home in tears for the 3rd time this week. I smell trouble in paradise.
(I'm close enough that I could just ask her but sleuthing it out is kind of fun.)
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Time to get in there and give her a shoulder to cry on.P.D.X. wrote:Update: She's dropped her married name off her FB profile and neither her or her husband's profile pic includes the other one (pretty sure they both did prior).P.D.X. wrote:Hot (married) chick in our office just went home in tears for the 3rd time this week. I smell trouble in paradise.
(I'm close enough that I could just ask her but sleuthing it out is kind of fun.)
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
This is like a damn rom-com where you're online stalking the married girl while the ex-hookup is online stalking you.P.D.X. wrote:Update: She's dropped her married name off her FB profile and neither her or her husband's profile pic includes the other one (pretty sure they both did prior).
(I'm close enough that I could just ask her but sleuthing it out is kind of fun.)
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Facebook is going to suggest to the married girl and the ex-hookup that they become friends.mister d wrote:This is like a damn rom-com where you're online stalking the married girl while the ex-hookup is online stalking you.P.D.X. wrote:Update: She's dropped her married name off her FB profile and neither her or her husband's profile pic includes the other one (pretty sure they both did prior).
(I'm close enough that I could just ask her but sleuthing it out is kind of fun.)
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Dial "D" for Divorce. We're gonna get lunch next week sometime so will get the details.
- Brontoburglar
- The Dude
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Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
what happens first ... lunch or the money disappears from the bathroom in AB's office?
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Bronto has doubts. I say they both happen
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
- Brontoburglar
- The Dude
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- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:20 am
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
at the same time?rass wrote:Bronto has doubts. I say they both happen
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Re: CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette
Sky rockets in flightP.D.X. wrote:Dial "D" for Divorce. We're gonna get lunch next week sometime so will get the details.
Totally Kafkaesque