A_B wrote:YEah, the more I think about that I just think it's going to fuck everything up beyond belief.
Yup. And, bronto, if you see yourself with the GF for the long haul, maybe work with her on not making one of the first family experiences with her family one that potentially will leave such a bad impression?
I was willing to handle the twin bed thing and make the best of it -- I was riding the line between being frustrated about getting pushed around and not pushing for different accommodations. But she wanted to just say screw it and find someplace else. And given the previous babysitting conversations, it was not the first time it'd been brought up. What didn't help things was the lack of parental support on the babysitter discussion. It was simply a "well, you'll understand when you have kids" answer to pushing back about being used as a babysitter when needed.
(choosing a destination where many of the activities are not toddler friendly when you have a toddler doesn't compute for me, but I'm not wasting time worrying about it)
So that combined with the inability to see things from our perspective regarding the financial and non-kid aspects of why we wanted to not get stuck with the worst room made the change happen. And me pushing back on that change was not going to make the situation any better. I tried to defuse the babysitter thing best I could when it first happened and the consensus was "that's just how it is" regarding how certain parties dictate situations.
Also -- I've seen the family plenty of times. Everyone lives within 15 min of each other one way or another and we have spent holidays together, so this is not their first extended experiences with me.
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Gunpowder wrote:Just do it this time and then next time tell them you are getting a hotel or you're not going. It's worked for us. Rather similar situation, too - oldest brother and his 4 kids that he just foists on everybody and gets pissy if people don't just fall in line.
Come to think of it - one of the times was in Dallas when we met up. That was MY trip, and I cancelled our hotel so that we could stay at his house and the kids could see Tanti (aunt) Nicole. I spent the first half of my day playing with the kids both at home and at soccer lessons while he and the wife ran errands, and then he got pissed at us when we were going to stay at a friends' house in Dallas Saturday night. Said we'd never be welcome there again and made us drive back to his damn house.
And I repeat - this was MY trip. It was not a trip to visit them and we did not stay at the house to save a few bucks. I would have much rather kept the hotel.
We put up with it that time but made it clear later that we're never staying at his house again.
quasi-related, middle couple just moved to GF's neighborhood to be closer to family and have better babysitting access when they need it because his family doesn't live in KC. so, that free sitter when needed situation is likely changing, at least for the short term.
Last edited by Brontoburglar on Wed May 31, 2017 2:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Shirley wrote:You're not investing in a business. You're all chipping in to a vacation home. Splitting by family seems pretty reasonable to me. Breaking it down to by-person costs just seems petty to me. Should you also factor in that adults eat more than kids? How much space each one takes in a bed? At what point should you just say "fuck it, it's a family trip" and roll with it instead of pinching pennies?
the better argument is per room. If it's a 4 BR place, fine. as far as I'm concerned if you are paying less per room than the parties you are splitting the place with then you don't get to dictate which two rooms you get. but perhaps that's too rational and logical for my childless self.
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Shirley wrote:Bronto, your girlfriend sounds like a piece of work. I get that there are often deep-seeded family resentments at play here, but honestly, getting all worked up over which bed you get sounds so petty and immature. Who gives a shit? The only people it should matter to are the ones with the toddler. And maybe a parent of a kid if there's one that needs quiet. The unmarried couple without kids? They should be able to be pretty flexible and they get last choice.
Finding a separate place at the last minute is a total diva move. A bad look, both financially and family-dynamic-wise.
I am with Shirley on all of his posts on this topic. All families pay equal, backing out is a total dick move that will have consequences. I think the childless posters on this topic don't get the hassle of travelling with kids. If everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other, why all go on vacation and share a house?
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
Shirley wrote:Bronto, your girlfriend sounds like a piece of work. I get that there are often deep-seeded family resentments at play here, but honestly, getting all worked up over which bed you get sounds so petty and immature. Who gives a shit? The only people it should matter to are the ones with the toddler. And maybe a parent of a kid if there's one that needs quiet. The unmarried couple without kids? They should be able to be pretty flexible and they get last choice.
Finding a separate place at the last minute is a total diva move. A bad look, both financially and family-dynamic-wise.
I am with Shirley on all of his posts on this topic. All families pay equal, backing out is a total dick move that will have consequences. I think the childless posters on this topic don't get the hassle of travelling with kids. If everyone lives within 15 minutes of each other, why all go on vacation and share a house?
Like I said upthread I'm willing to help cover the costs that are being incurred via the choice made last night because I'm not dick.
but serious question -- why does the "hassle" of traveling with kids mean people without kids should pay as much as those with kids and receive less in return? what's the explanation for that outside of "we have kids and you don't?"
and I wish I could answer your last question
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
I'd have no issue with flexibility about price if it were me, but I think it would need to be set up with that in mind from the get go. If the initial thought was "split it evenly," then to complain after the fact becomes a sticking point. If it was unilaterally decided without real discussion then Bronto has a better footing for his argument. But my experience in situations like this has always been split it even and the rest comes out in the wash.
We've done this before with my in-laws and since they "technically" aren't caring for kids they used less room, but they never minded splitting it three ways.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
Shirley wrote:You're not investing in a business. You're all chipping in to a vacation home. Splitting by family seems pretty reasonable to me. Breaking it down to by-person costs just seems petty to me. Should you also factor in that adults eat more than kids? How much space each one takes in a bed? At what point should you just say "fuck it, it's a family trip" and roll with it instead of pinching pennies?
the better argument is per room. If it's a 4 BR place, fine. as far as I'm concerned if you are paying less per room than the parties you are splitting the place with then you don't get to dictate which two rooms you get. but perhaps that's too rational and logical for my childless self.
See, it sounds whiny and miserly to me, not rational and logical. Don't get me wrong, I agree with the proposed room layout. It makes sense to put the two-room family next to each other. Did you guys try suggesting that first before complaining about the price and quality of your room?
I look forward to the sit-com re-enactment in which the entire rental has been re-painted into color-coded areas to reflect where each portion of the family can go and the constant cries to "stay out of my part".
“All I'm sayin' is, he comes near me, I'll put him in the wall.”
So are there only five rooms in the whole house? Because you will be paying more then just the beds. Tell you GF to quit being such a diva and just stay with the family. And when the next vacation comes up, follow the advice up thread and tell them you guys will be getting your own place.
As far as watching the kids, that is a dick move on the other parents. If they wanted to go on vacation without the kids, then they should have made other accommodations for them. Or just be parents and plan around the kids. Mama Duff and I have been on family vacations with my side a couple of times. We make sure that we set aside time to do our own things with our girls. We will be spending enough time with the rest during the week. So try and make a schedule for you guys also. And only for you two. If her siblings and parents don't understand, then that should tell you a lot about her family.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
Jesus, this blew up since the last time I read. I can 100% assure you that if you ever have kids, you're going to feel like a complete dick looking back on all this whining about a foot of bed width or that 1/4 of a 5th bedroom you were entitled to.
Johnnie wrote: ↑Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
I'm guessing there's a lot more built-up than his girlfriend deciding to do this because of a one-time thing and this is just the straw that broke the camel's back.
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
Right. And if there were somehow a 4th sibling added and Bronto and his lady made some kids and the 4th sibling started whining and then backed out of a similar future trip (with 6 bedrooms), Bronto would be like "goddamn, look at this fuck being a fuck like we were".
Johnnie wrote: ↑Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
Does the inevitable notation that someone has gas need to be clarified to state that it is bad gas? Isn't gas that is noticed by others by definition bad?
but serious question -- why does the "hassle" of traveling with kids mean people without kids should pay as much as those with kids and receive less in return? what's the explanation for that outside of "we have kids and you don't?"
I would have only seen this as a pay-per-family split, not pay-per-person. Maybe if one sister had 12 kids or something I would have thought about it from a per-person angle. As for flexibility in rooms, it is so easy for two adults to make do with whatever. Having to parse out which kids to put in the same room together, needs for specific beds, etc... My son used to breakdance in his sleep. If he was in a top bunk or a twin, guaranteed he would fall out and wake everyone up screaming. Kids have their quirks, and breaking their routines and throwing in a potential issue is asking for problems. Why put the parents through that, and ruin everyone's trip dealing with the fallout if the kid goes off? Throw in vacation with cousins, they are going to be too excite to sleep, and crankiness is adding fuel to the fire. So yeah, the childless, youngest couple can make do with a less than ideal room.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt
but serious question -- why does the "hassle" of traveling with kids mean people without kids should pay as much as those with kids and receive less in return? what's the explanation for that outside of "we have kids and you don't?"
I would have only seen this as a pay-per-family split, not pay-per-person. Maybe if one sister had 12 kids or something I would have thought about it from a per-person angle. As for flexibility in rooms, it is so easy for two adults to make do with whatever.
Did you mean "it is so easy for two childess adults to make do with whatever?" Because that's what we're dealing with here. We weren't expecting the kids to be flexible. The only people expected to be flexible were us. And that's the point she's trying to make. It's her battle. I'm just here for support and the ride.
And anyway, middle couple committed to meet her at the zoo this morning and 30 min later backed out because baby was tired (after GF was already there), so lalalalalalalalalalala
"We're not the smartest people in the world. We go down the straightaway and turn left. That's literally what we do." -- Clint Bowyer
Shirley wrote:Bronto, your girlfriend sounds like a piece of work. I get that there are often deep-seeded family resentments at play here, but honestly, getting all worked up over which bed you get sounds so petty and immature. Who gives a shit? The only people it should matter to are the ones with the toddler. And maybe a parent of a kid if there's one that needs quiet. The unmarried couple without kids? They should be able to be pretty flexible and they get last choice.
Finding a separate place at the last minute is a total diva move. A bad look, both financially and family-dynamic-wise.
Most of these things aren't big deals in isolation, but when they add up over and over again (like with us) it becomes a big thing.
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
Struggled with what thread to put this in, but Central Michigan's athletic department is doing an online fundraising auction and a signed Antonio Brown jersey is fetching more than a signed LeBron James jersey ($700/$560), at least as of this writing.
Maybe not entirely surprising, but still kind of shocks me.
ETA: A signed Dan LeFevour Winnipeg helmet is also fetching much more than a Thomas Rawls signed Seahawks helmet as well ($313/$125).
A_B wrote:How weird is it that we still use a floppy disk as an icon for "Save" when there are about 25 years worth of people who haven't ever used a floppy.
h/t Chive
Less weird than using a picture of a manila folder for "Open"?
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
A_B wrote:How weird is it that we still use a floppy disk as an icon for "Save" when there are about 25 years worth of people who haven't ever used a floppy.
h/t Chive
Less weird than using a picture of a manila folder for "Open"?
Folders still exist, though!
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
A_B wrote:How weird is it that we still use a floppy disk as an icon for "Save" when there are about 25 years worth of people who haven't ever used a floppy.
h/t Chive
Less weird than using a picture of a manila folder for "Open"?
Folders still exist, though!
So does magnetic disk storage.
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
A_B wrote:How weird is it that we still use a floppy disk as an icon for "Save" when there are about 25 years worth of people who haven't ever used a floppy.
h/t Chive
Less weird than using a picture of a manila folder for "Open"?
Folders still exist, though!
So does magnetic disk storage.
When was the last time you used an actual floppy disk?
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
DSafetyGuy wrote:Brought on by my daughter playing softball, I cannot imagine trying to explain all the rules in baseball to a beginner.
We just finished a rec kickball league through our local social sports org. Sweet lord, trying to teach adults rules and/or strategy is impossible. We would get doubled up on 50% of fly balls. People having no idea where the out is even though you just shouted it 10 seconds beforehand. People missing a play and just standing around looking at each other while the opponent is circling the bases. I'll never do that again.
DSafetyGuy wrote:Brought on by my daughter playing softball, I cannot imagine trying to explain all the rules in baseball to a beginner.
We just finished a rec kickball league through our local social sports org. Sweet lord, trying to teach adults rules and/or strategy is impossible. We would get doubled up on 50% of fly balls. People having no idea where the out is even though you just shouted it 10 seconds beforehand. People missing a play and just standing around looking at each other while the opponent is circling the bases. I'll never do that again.
From my limited experience and a broad generalization....Kickball rec leagues are filled with adults who never played real sports. As a result the concept of knowing basic rules and best practices are lost. Prime example...my sister.
DSafetyGuy wrote:Brought on by my daughter playing softball, I cannot imagine trying to explain all the rules in baseball to a beginner.
We just finished a rec kickball league through our local social sports org. Sweet lord, trying to teach adults rules and/or strategy is impossible. We would get doubled up on 50% of fly balls. People having no idea where the out is even though you just shouted it 10 seconds beforehand. People missing a play and just standing around looking at each other while the opponent is circling the bases. I'll never do that again.
From my limited experience and a broad generalization....Kickball rec leagues are filled with adults who never played real sports. As a result the concept of knowing basic rules and best practices are lost. Prime example...my sister.
Some of the teams we played against would go against that logic, but I understand. It's just the listening thing. How hard is "stand there and watch the teammate at 3rd base and he will tell you when to run"? Or "if you don't know what to do, throw the ball to the pitcher"?
I think if tagging up is going to upset you, rec league kickball isn't the right sport. Its not fixable because people are playing for fun, not to learn the intricacies of baseball force plays.
Johnnie wrote: ↑Sat Sep 10, 2022 8:13 pmOh shit, you just reminded me about toilet paper.
DSafetyGuy wrote:Brought on by my daughter playing softball, I cannot imagine trying to explain all the rules in baseball to a beginner.
We just finished a rec kickball league through our local social sports org. Sweet lord, trying to teach adults rules and/or strategy is impossible. We would get doubled up on 50% of fly balls. People having no idea where the out is even though you just shouted it 10 seconds beforehand. People missing a play and just standing around looking at each other while the opponent is circling the bases. I'll never do that again.
From my limited experience and a broad generalization....Kickball rec leagues are filled with adults who never played real sports. As a result the concept of knowing basic rules and best practices are lost. Prime example...my sister.
Some of the teams we played against would go against that logic, but I understand. It's just the listening thing. How hard is "stand there and watch the teammate at 3rd base and he will tell you when to run"? Or "if you don't know what to do, throw the ball to the pitcher"?
I was mostly just trolling Gunpowder as I believe he is a competitive kickballer.
mister d wrote:I think if tagging up is going to upset you, rec league kickball isn't the right sport. Its not fixable because people are playing for fun, not to learn the intricacies of baseball force plays.
Intricacies of force plays don't upset me. 28 year olds with an inability to follow basic instructions do. Kickball is an excuse to get BSFGF out of the house and to a bar on Thursday evenings. But losing 20-0 is never a fun way to get to the end result.
mister d wrote:I think if tagging up is going to upset you, rec league kickball isn't the right sport. Its not fixable because people are playing for fun, not to learn the intricacies of baseball force plays.
Intricacies of force plays don't upset me. 28 year olds with an inability to follow basic instructions do. Kickball is an excuse to get BSFGF out of the house and to a bar on Thursday evenings. But losing 20-0 is never a fun way to get to the end result.
Join a bowling league instead. Good combination of personal and team achievement and you can drink while playing as well.
