More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

so now the board member and her husband reached out last night to the 04 team their son is currently on.. and asked back on the team.
how do i know? because the coach emailed me this morning (following multiple eamils from other parents and board members... but not the ones in question)
so i called her and her husband out (just text to them) . eventually she called me.. and i asked her in spanish (both Colombians..) as to why she lacked the character to talk to me personally before jumping off.. reminder her all the times she complained about her son having to play for that guy... told her wasn't asking her to reconsider just wanted her to explain her decision.

good riddance. i mean she's still on the board and her kid still plays.. but at least now i dont' have to deal with her 3x a week in person... she's ok agreeing with all the changes we're making to improve the club... all about the kids.. just as long as it doesn't affect her kids.no character.

last two sessions tonight -- then 265 emails to send out. by end of play tuesday.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by sancarlos »

These stories are entertaining and make me glad that my daughter never rose above AYSO-level soccer. I heard similar stories from some parents I knew but never had to live it myself. Of course, I never coached. But, I was a (mediocre) volunteer AYSO referee for several years. My enduring memory of those years was of the time a ten year-old girl sidled up to me during a game I was officiating and asked in a low voice if I really understood the offside rule. I had to chuckle at that.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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sancarlos wrote: Fri May 11, 2018 1:51 pm These stories are entertaining and make me glad that my daughter never rose above AYSO-level soccer. I heard similar stories from some parents I knew but never had to live it myself. Of course, I never coached. But, I was a (mediocre) volunteer AYSO referee for several years. My enduring memory of those years was of the time a ten year-old girl sidled up to me during a game I was officiating and asked in a low voice if I really understood the offside rule. I had to chuckle at that.
I'm guessing you didn't.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by sancarlos »

The Sybian wrote: Fri May 11, 2018 2:29 pm
sancarlos wrote: Fri May 11, 2018 1:51 pm These stories are entertaining and make me glad that my daughter never rose above AYSO-level soccer. I heard similar stories from some parents I knew but never had to live it myself. Of course, I never coached. But, I was a (mediocre) volunteer AYSO referee for several years. My enduring memory of those years was of the time a ten year-old girl sidled up to me during a game I was officiating and asked in a low voice if I really understood the offside rule. I had to chuckle at that.
I'm guessing you didn't.
Nah, the game was just about over and I knew I had missed an offside call, but it didn't cause a goal and didn't matter to the game's outcome. So, it was no pressure and just struck me as funny. Chuckling at her was better than any other response.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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Been trying to get my kid to stop throwing her hand up when the opponent is off because (a) she can’t run as fast like that and (b) I don’t think the ref wants to be shown up by a 12 year old (even when she’s almost always right).
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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rass wrote: Fri May 11, 2018 5:02 pm Been trying to get my kid to stop throwing her hand up when the opponent is off because (a) she can’t run as fast like that and (b) I don’t think the ref wants to be shown up by a 12 year old (even when she’s almost always right).
Yeah, the biggest issue I have with that is they usually stop running altogether. The linesman either saw it or didn't... You putting your arm up isn't going to magically remind them they have a job to do or something.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Who has two thumbs and was awarded rec coach of the year for the club....this guy.....guess win/loss record was not a factor.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by Nonlinear FC »

Congrats, dude. Good job.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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Congrats!
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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good work, wlu!
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by A_B »

Hope you don't get Dwayne Casey'd!
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

A_B wrote: Thu May 31, 2018 1:28 pm Hope you don't get Dwayne Casey'd!
i was thinking more Zidane....
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by The Sybian »

First, nice work, WLU!

Now, to further divert from the basic premise of this thread, I'm proud and happy to report that our club made some great decisions on how to handle the situation following tryouts. We ended up with 18 trying out for the 2009 girls, playing 7v7. Max roster is 14, which is way too many. After a lot of talk about making us keep all 18, and alternating rostering 14 each game, or making us have all 18 practice together, but keeping a festival team to play informal 5v5 mini-games while the core group played in the league, they made the exact decisions I would have. (My partner slightly disagrees, but understands and accepts the decision).

Oh, most important, my daughter also tried out for the older (2008) team and made the older A team. They have a clear A and B team, as they had 22 last year, and now 25 at tryouts. The club strongly opposes letting kids play up, but they agreed that my daughter and her team are better off with her moving up. I think they know I would move her to an academy rather than play on her current team. The surprising move, which I am happy but surprised at, is they also let our second best player move up to the 2008 A team. She has a head for the game, and is close to putting it together, she is just a bit clumsy and always seems to get the ball stuck in her feet, and can't seem to get the timing on shooting off a cross. The main decision maker told my partner before tryouts that my daughter should play up, but to persuade the #2 girl against trying out up, as he didn't think she was ready. My daughter has a special relationship with her, so I'm happy she made it.

So they decided to put 11 on the 2009 team, my daughter and the other girl on the 2008 A team, and they took the 3 worst 3rd graders (we have a mix of 2nd and 3rd graders) and put them on the 2008 B team. I think the 3 will do better on an older B team, as the games lack the same intensity in a lower flight, even when moving up in age. Even better, all 3 parents were fine with it. One said it was an obvious choice, and was just happy to have a team for his daughter, one played a couple games with the older B team, and she was thrilled, thinking she was promoted because they like her so much (and her mother's quote was that she'll punch anyone in the throat who bursts that bubble). The third's mother is a cunt, who was upset that her precious baby doesn't get the ball enough, and shouldn't have to move to get it herself, everyone should share the ball with her equally. 3 new girls tried out, and they all made the cut. 2 were really good, and fortunately offensive minded, as my daughter and #2 girl scored all of the team's goals this season.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by testuser2 »

Congrats wlu. Did you get the Real Madrid call up yet?

Our ongoing issue is now with the local parks department. They control access to the fields and surface quality. The guy who runs the parks department has a history with the other local club. Over several years we have only had access to a few parks. I wouldn't even call them fields. They are just a park with an open grass area. One even had a baseball infield on it. Our best field is on a slope. The have now started cutting grass on friday afternoons. By the time we get out there for the following week the grass is knee high on some of our u7/8 players. We have offered to cut the grass ourselves and even fertilize. They have forbidden us from doing so. Other actual fields that the preferred club uses are really nice. Grass is cut twice a week/fertilized. Even the field area is cut to a lower height. Small town jackasses...
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Our (appointed via committee, which she was elected to) mayor is a coach of a rec team in town, and just won a game 16-0. They never pulled kids or stopped shooting.

But she helped approve 6 figures to upgrade one of our fields to turf, so...

But she did once walk past my daughter and her teammates as they were fundraising, not even pausing as she said “not today girls”, so...
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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testuser2 wrote: Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:37 am Congrats wlu. Did you get the Real Madrid call up yet?

Our ongoing issue is now with the local parks department. They control access to the fields and surface quality. The guy who runs the parks department has a history with the other local club. Over several years we have only had access to a few parks. I wouldn't even call them fields. They are just a park with an open grass area. One even had a baseball infield on it. Our best field is on a slope. The have now started cutting grass on friday afternoons. By the time we get out there for the following week the grass is knee high on some of our u7/8 players. We have offered to cut the grass ourselves and even fertilize. They have forbidden us from doing so. Other actual fields that the preferred club uses are really nice. Grass is cut twice a week/fertilized. Even the field area is cut to a lower height. Small town jackasses...
We played our final game last weekend on the worst field I've seen, including my childhood days. We played against Millburn, one of the wealthiest towns (according to Wiki, 6th wealthiest town in the state, average home sale between $1 mil - $1.5 mil every month), and they are the only town we play that refuses to pay for 3 refs, and both fields we played on in their town were complete shit. The field was on a huge slope, to the point that one goal looked like it might tip over, as one post was so much higher than the other. The grass hadn't been cut in at least 3 weeks, with at least 50 huge weed clumps on the field that were knee high. The lines weren't marked remotely close to correctly, and it looked like the third attempt, as there were fainter lines all over the place. The goal box went almost to the midfield line, and they forgot the buildout line.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

The Sybian wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:06 pm
testuser2 wrote: Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:37 am Congrats wlu. Did you get the Real Madrid call up yet?

Our ongoing issue is now with the local parks department. They control access to the fields and surface quality. The guy who runs the parks department has a history with the other local club. Over several years we have only had access to a few parks. I wouldn't even call them fields. They are just a park with an open grass area. One even had a baseball infield on it. Our best field is on a slope. The have now started cutting grass on friday afternoons. By the time we get out there for the following week the grass is knee high on some of our u7/8 players. We have offered to cut the grass ourselves and even fertilize. They have forbidden us from doing so. Other actual fields that the preferred club uses are really nice. Grass is cut twice a week/fertilized. Even the field area is cut to a lower height. Small town jackasses...
We played our final game last weekend on the worst field I've seen, including my childhood days. We played against Millburn, one of the wealthiest towns (according to Wiki, 6th wealthiest town in the state, average home sale between $1 mil - $1.5 mil every month), and they are the only town we play that refuses to pay for 3 refs, and both fields we played on in their town were complete shit. The field was on a huge slope, to the point that one goal looked like it might tip over, as one post was so much higher than the other. The grass hadn't been cut in at least 3 weeks, with at least 50 huge weed clumps on the field that were knee high. The lines weren't marked remotely close to correctly, and it looked like the third attempt, as there were fainter lines all over the place. The goal box went almost to the midfield line, and they forgot the buildout line.
What age? The reason I ask is we use 3 refs when there is offsides and 1 ref when there is no offsides. But there is no buildout line in ages that have offsides.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Our league (same as Syb) just added the build out line this spring for u10 and younger. Can only be offsides inside of the build out line, in addition to its other properties.

We never painted them on our home fields, either. Just gave the refs cones so they could mark them off. I’d say the majority of the games we played this spring were like that.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

a couple of questions for those of you dealing with rec, town, travel or other such clubs..as you may know, for nearly the past year i've been the president of our local club - it was founded in 1974.. but some 20yrs ago split into town(rec) and travel... we are in the middle of a merger (due to complete by next fall) where we'll have a rec division, an intercounty division and a travel division... and potentially putting a few teams in EDP as well (a couple of years out) -- we think (from what we know) we are one of the least expensive options. The rec club charges $120 max for each season (so 240) whereas Travel (us) charges max $950 (that means 2nights a week trainer, game day trainer and uniform w bag).
we find that the newer parents will buy into bulding the club back up..whereas the older parents who have kids in the 04-07 age group tend to not want to pay up...
for reference.. three of the for-profit clubs in the area, Copa, Jersey Knights, Cedar Stars and Valencia... start at $1800 to $3600.. and all require at least a $300 up front payment for uni/kit/gear including training jerseys, home and away, bags, socks, etc...

so off to do research... and since there's a varied sample right here in the swamp....

What kind of club is it?

Trainers or parent coaches or both?

if trainers - are they game day as well?

Do they require training jerseys?

What are the registration fees (fall/spring)?

Do registration fees include a uniform?

Does the club provide for winter training?

Do teams collect money for miscellaneous (extra tourneys, gear, etc) or do any sort of fundrasing?
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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Travel. MNJYSA. League fee around $250 per kid. Training $900 per team. That’s 3 hours with a professional trainer per week, plus the trainers make most games. Most teams do have a parent coach, too. Another $95 for the uni (home/away jerseys, socks, shorts, one training jersey). They started strongly pushing everyone to wear club branded gear to practice last fall (oldest kids team set a schedule of white on Tue and maroon on Thu), which corresponded with a new director of coaching. The non-uni fees are paid in fall and spring. Older kids team went to EDP this fall and the league fee is about $100 more per kid.

On our own for winter training, but regular trainers are available (to be paid). They strongly encourage everyone to train with the trainers over the summer, too (both of my kids teams did).

The older kids team has done a ton of fundraising and that has covered tourneys and equipment.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Similar setup as you are going to...one club for multiple levels of teams at each year for both boys and girls under one roof as a nonprofit. We are ECNL. Rec is $100 a season and travel/ECLN range by age and tournaments for the year (I believe our travel and ECLN are more expensive than yours) Rec has fall, futsal, and spring for most young ages (no indoor options for U12 up)
Volunter coaches for all rec teams Prof training for the younger ages. Travel and top flight teams are all pro coaches for training and games. Coaches cover more than one team (mostly). Uniforms ans tournament fees are built into the budget for the teams. Travel is built in for most teams but some have supplement travel fees. Our Rec is so big that those fees and additional programs help defray some of the club cost. Additional programs are optional training for any level kid, a variety of summer camps (day and evening), coaches team (well organized pickup game each week), overseas experiences, etc. We have paid staff for a variety of club positions (exec director, admin, head of technical development, rec head of technical development, head of travel, head of rec level travel and a few more). Club owns a few fields and uses county fields too.

Every team gets a home and away jersey, shorts, socks. Travel and up get better quality kits (Adidas), a bag, ball, training and training uniform (expected wear to practice). This year our club got kit sponsors for both rec (Leidos) and travel (M&M). They Are built into the fees.

We also have lots of support for kids who can't foot the full bill at any level. This money is often fundraiser and donation (individuals and corporate) driven.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by A_B »

So we don't wonder why no poor kids play, right?
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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A_B wrote: Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:54 am So we don't wonder why no poor kids play, right?
wlu_lax was nice enough to even separate his last line from the rest of his text.

But to that point, I'm not sure what our club has in place for those situations. Rec is much cheaper than travel, and the travel coaches definitely scout out the rec teams (at least they do when they need players). I'd like to hope something would be worked out for a player that has the ability but not the cash, but I don't know.

I know Newark has some good clubs, but I think some of those might be concentrated in the Portuguese/Brazilian (and more affluent) part of the city.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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rass wrote: Thu Sep 06, 2018 7:28 am
A_B wrote: Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:54 am So we don't wonder why no poor kids play, right?
wlu_lax was nice enough to even separate his last line from the rest of his text.

But to that point, I'm not sure what our club has in place for those situations. Rec is much cheaper than travel, and the travel coaches definitely scout out the rec teams (at least they do when they need players). I'd like to hope something would be worked out for a player that has the ability but not the cash, but I don't know.

I know Newark has some good clubs, but I think some of those might be concentrated in the Portuguese/Brazilian (and more affluent) part of the city.

Ah, admittedly I skimmed a bit.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Our club is in a fairly affluent suburb of DC. Most parents will bend over backwards to give their kids opportunities in whatever they are passionate about (including advanced academic opportunities) if it just means paying for it. The real limiting factor for many is parents who don't want to spend 3 nights a week and every weekend shuttling their kids around for soccer (the rec team and rec all star team I coach benefit from this as we could beat some of the travel teams in our club). A big reason is many of these parents did not have that experience growing up and as a result don't understand the sacrifice their parents made. I will spend every hour getting my kids to stuff on the weekends and evenings if they want because my folks never complianed about it to me. They coached, volunteered, and just supported those things.

The kids who come from out of the area to play for our teams tend to be very good players that benefit from the financial support. Our club does not do a great job getting to undeserved communities (with the exception of lots of pickup games on our fields that are not at all affiliated with the club). Other clubs in our area do more things like free pickup/kick arounds organized by the club.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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elflaco wrote: Wed Sep 05, 2018 5:15 pm What kind of club is it? SMALL TRAVEL CLUB SMALL REC PROGRAM

Trainers or parent coaches or both? 1 FULL TIME DOC/ADMIN PARENT AND PARENT COACHES AND PAID $30 TRAINER FRIDAYS

if trainers - are they game day as well? NO. NEEDED SORELY.

Do they require training jerseys? YES

What are the registration fees (fall/spring)? 360/360

Do registration fees include a uniform? NO +/- 125

Does the club provide for winter training? INDOOR WINTER FUTSAL SUMMER LEAGUES $100/SEASON

Do teams collect money for miscellaneous (extra tourneys, gear, etc) or do any sort of fundrasing? NO FUNDRAISING TOURNAMENT FEE $50/60 PER GEAR EXTRA BAG JACKETS
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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We are a small club. 7 age groups of between 10-25 kids. All co-ed. We have 4 seasons with a week or two break between each kid. 3 training sessions a week. One is futsal. All professional coaches. Winter season is all futsal. Each season is $300. Discounts for multiple kids. Full scholarships for players are available. I don't think we have denied anyone that has asked for one.

Tournaments and uniforms are separate. They are all optional. This is where is gets expensive. We don't have a local league and all of our tournaments are 1-2 hours away. The registration fee and a coaching stipend is split between the players on the roster.

Our sponsors contribute scholarships, reduced uniform costs and money for other equipment.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by elflaco »

A_B wrote: Thu Sep 06, 2018 6:54 am So we don't wonder why no poor kids play, right?
its the Jersey suburbs.. that said.. although we don't have a published policy on finaid -- we do provide a lot of it - i'd guess this season at least 10% of our kids are receiving some sort of aid, from a payment plan (which we plan to introduce to all next year) to a flat $100 for the season...haven't said no to anyone..

oh and we fund several college scholarships... and donate full registration to the tricky tray fundraisers at both the public and catholic schools.

in my experience, most parents up here seem to have no issue paying.. and in fact we've been told that other clubs must be better because they're more expensive.

we're entirely a non-profit -- the rec club has some funding from local business... as we join up next year we'll look to expand that model.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by A_B »

I'm not really intending to fault anyone. I have paid a shitload for travel volleyball for five years. But in that instance, too, it's really a case of pricing out kids that might be able to compete, because even with sponsorships/scholarships the actual travel to tournaments ends up being more than the fees.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by tennbengal »

The struggle with "pay to play" is even more pronounced when you step up to the Club model ($2,000 - $3,000 as a base for the year and then some additional for travel). That said, until and unless USSF wants to actually organize this ish, and put coaches and leagues into cities and into the part of the southwestern US where there is plenty of talent and pay to put those coaches and leagues in place under a singular development structure, then pay to play is probably the only workable model.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by wlu_lax6 »

tennbengal wrote: Thu Sep 06, 2018 2:15 pm The struggle with "pay to play" is even more pronounced when you step up to the Club model ($2,000 - $3,000 as a base for the year and then some additional for travel). That said, until and unless USSF wants to actually organize this ish, and put coaches and leagues into cities and into the part of the southwestern US where there is plenty of talent and pay to put those coaches and leagues in place under a singular development structure, then pay to play is probably the only workable model.
Well kinda. I think the real solution is to go with the uncomfortable rest of the world model. The Pro teams and Pro clubs become responsible for player development and everyone else is having fun playing soccer. We already have lots of this in the US. I believe DC United is the only MLS academy that is pay. Top clubs affiliate with MLS/USL programs. Historically strong clubs keep developing their kids but in pay models/support from USSF.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by The Sybian »

A_B wrote: Thu Sep 06, 2018 12:53 pm I'm not really intending to fault anyone. I have paid a shitload for travel volleyball for five years. But in that instance, too, it's really a case of pricing out kids that might be able to compete, because even with sponsorships/scholarships the actual travel to tournaments ends up being more than the fees.
I'm not sure what age actual travelling starts in my town. We play league games against teams across NJ, but the furthest we've gone is about an hour. All the tournaments we've played in have been within an hour as well, so never had overnight stays or any real "travel." As a kid, we went to 3 or 4 overnight tournaments every year starting around age 7 or 8.

I looked into some of the Academy teams, and they travel. PDA, the closest US Development Academy club plays league games from Boston to Baltimore, and they play in tournaments across the country. I know the U-12s spent a week in Chicago, and I heard parents of another PDA team complaining about how they had to change flights and add a day to the trip because the finals were pushed back a day. Not sure how many people can take off work on a days notice, pay to change flights the day before, and add a night in their hotel. Not sure what the fees are, but $3000 seems like something I've heard. The other academies play in local leagues, but my wife works with someone who has kids in STA, and they make frequent longer trips, like to Virginia and Dallas for tournaments.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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I almost had my first moment of being the overbearing soccer parent. Battle of the two unbeaten teams in our league, and it was an extremely hard fought game. We went down 1-0 in the first minute, and the scored remained 1-0 with 3 minutes left. I had been talking with another coach about how horrible the linesman on our side was. He was constantly out of position, got half the throwin calls wrong, seemed not to be watching at times, but we were laughing about it...

Then my daughter takes a pass, dribbles around a defender, and blasts it into the top corner. 10 seconds later, the linesman meekly raises his flag and calls offside. Keep in mind, my daughter dribbled around a defender that was goal side of her, with the goalie back another 20 yards. She was on by at least 3 feet when the pass was made. The linesman was right in front of me, and the ref walked over with a surprised look to talk it over, and I started to lose it. Fortunately, another parent on my team REALLY lost it. He is 6'4" and stocky, and normally the calmest, most chill guy. Seeing him snap made me stop. Ref called off the goal.

Last year, I wouldn't have cared. Hell, we were tied against a team we kept barely losing to and my daughter took a free kick from just outside the box. She shot it over the wall, and a girl jumped up, arm straight over her head, and stopped the shot with her hand. The ref put the whistle to his mouth, but let it go. As ridiculous as that was, I just laughed it off. I think it's the tension of wanting my daughter to prove herself on her new team, which she already has. Not sure how I would have reacted if it was another girl who had the goal called back, I still would have been pissed because the linesman was horrible all game, and this one could not have been more obvious. Her head coach had the best comment when my daughter complained after the game. "You're right, you were onside and the ref got it wrong, but it makes up for the 3 times you were offside and they didn't call it."
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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Just found my friend's son will be training/attending Sporting Kansas CIty's Development Academy. He's 12 right now I believe, but was playing on the top travel teams in North Carolina, so the whole family is moving to Kansas City now. I imagine he's got some interesting stories about all this stuff.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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One of my sons teammates was added to the US Youth id2 roster for the spring training squad. For our tiny club this is a pretty big deal. He's a great kid and deserves a shot.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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[Warning: Rambling thoughts and stream of conscience about my daughter's soccer options.]

It's that time of year again, I need to decide whether I send my daughter to a club, or keep her in town travel club for another year. This year, my daughter is playing up a year with the town club (she is a 2009, playing 2008). Her team is in the top flight of a mid-level league (Mid NJ), and we are planning to move to EDP (elite league) next year. We played an EDP team in a tournament last fall and beat them, so I think we would be competitive there. We have a professional trainer 2 days a week, volunteer parent coach training one day, and parents do game day coaching. I'm trying to figure out if I am holding her back keeping her at a town club if she is still getting 2 days with a pro trainer and playing in the same league as the elite clubs.

The other pull is my former coaching partner keeps trying to sweeten the pot for us to return to the 2009 team. My daughter and the second best player moved up, but they had 5 new players join, and were able to push out the bottom 3. They will also add 2 very good players next year, and the second best player is thinking of dropping back down to rejoin the old team. Our club President is a phenomenal coach, whose daughter is a 2007. He currently coaches her team, but she is moving to a club, and he is considering taking over the 2009 team, because my coaching partner offered to swap club duties for coaching duties to get him as a coach. With the new players and dropping 2 more from the bottom, they have a decent group if my daughter and the second best player rejoin.

It's interesting to see how much difference 1 year makes at this age. My daughter joined the 2009s for a scrimmage last week, and I was so used to her being the smallest kid on the field, it was weird seeing her fit in size wise. She fit in well with the 2008s, and is the best striker on the team. She is one of the better players, but she is noticeably intimidated at times by the size of her opponents. She really backed off of some defenders, and she doesn't go into tackles nearly as much as she did playing her own age. I get it, and try not to give her a hard time over it. Her teammates are physically much more developed than her, but none of them have the level of understanding my daughter has, so I have been thinking she would be better off playing with girls who have a better understanding of the game and skill, and are the same age as her. They stuck her in on defense to start, and I was shocked at how aggressive she played, I had forgotten what it looked like seeing her play a tough defensive game.

My issue with clubs, in addition to paying more than 10-times as much, is that the nearest one is 30 minutes away. Working from home, I could get her out there for practices, but it would be a major hassle. I've heard a lot of stories of clubs turning soccer from fun to stressful, and a lot of kids burn out. My daughter absolutely loves playing, but if she sees it as work or stressful, she tends to shy away from the challenge, or not want to go. She also gets major anxiety trying anything new, or going somewhere if she doesn't know anyone. The good news is, she has made huge strides there. For the first time ever, she agreed to go to a clinic without a friend, and she was fine. She also decided to play lacrosse this spring, which is the first time she has gone to a sport other than soccer, and where I'm not a coach. She is also playing on an academy team for the summer (Union County FC), but they don't start year round teams until they are 12 years old, so that's not an option yet.

For NJ guys, I signed her up for STA and PDA, who are both part of the US Development Academy program. I was going to do NJ Elites, but tryouts are on Sundays and end at 9:00pm, 30 minutes away. She would melt down that late.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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From our experience I don’t think there is much difference between top flight MNJ and lower level EDP.

If you think she’ll be playing for years, I think you should try to get her back on an age appropriate team. Just my opinion, I’ve chosen a couple of times to keep mine from playing up. In part because of the varying size difference (not every kid a year older than her is huge, but the higher level teams always seem to be full of huge and highly skilled kids), and it gets dicey when the older teammates hit HS. If that means you need to take her somewhere else to really challenge her at 2009, then...

But also be realistic. I know my oldest is one of the best on her travel team, but we also play high level tournaments during the summer and there are plenty of kids that are better. When we play top 10ish in the state teams, pretty much every bench player is better than our best. I know you want to push her to meet her potential, but most kids just want to play.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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Also, our club is pushing Super Y league on us way too hard for the summer. Little to no interest, and they won’t stop with the emails and the tryouts and the BS.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

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rass wrote: Fri Mar 15, 2019 4:14 pm From our experience I don’t think there is much difference between top flight MNJ and lower level EDP.

If you think she’ll be playing for years, I think you should try to get her back on an age appropriate team. Just my opinion, I’ve chosen a couple of times to keep mine from playing up. In part because of the varying size difference (not every kid a year older than her is huge, but the higher level teams always seem to be full of huge and highly skilled kids), and it gets dicey when the older teammates hit HS. If that means you need to take her somewhere else to really challenge her at 2009, then...

But also be realistic. I know my oldest is one of the best on her travel team, but we also play high level tournaments during the summer and there are plenty of kids that are better. When we play top 10ish in the state teams, pretty much every bench player is better than our best. I know you want to push her to meet her potential, but most kids just want to play.
I have been thinking about your point about having her around older girls. They are all going to Middle School next year, and it does concern me that she will be exposed to talk about dating or drinking before she would otherwise be around it, and I have no doubt she would try to fit in. Seeing her play with the 2009s made me realize it isn't the right fit. When they moved her to midfield, she scored 3 goals in less than 5 minutes, and they had to pull her, then send her back to defense. In a game last year, we were tied 1-1 with a minute or two left, and my daughter scored the game winner. My wife heard 3 mothers muttering that my daughter should let other kids score instead of trying to score herself. After that, we get the sense that most of the parents would be happier without her on the team, and it's also a different mentality. We have a town rec program, and if you want a non-competitive, everyone scores game, that is an option. That said, we kept playing time as close to equal as we could, but some kids would ask to sit. It kind of blew my mind that the parents were upset about her scoring a late winner, especially since we lost a bunch in a row before that.

My daughter does clinics with a trainer our club hired as Director of Training. He coaches 2 PDA teams, and runs a training company. My daughter goes to a lot of his clinics, and half the kids are PDA players. She has the ability to play with them, but I don't think she has the same drive. The PDA girls just have this killer look in their eyes, and they are balls to the wall on every play during drills. My daughter likes to be the clown, especially with the older girls, because she is trying to impress them. The PDA trainer is more machine than man, and he pushes them hard, and there is no way any kid will ever goof off. I was shocked the first time she went to his clinic, but she loves it. He screams non stop, but in a supportive way, and he runs them into the ground without breaks, and my daughter always asks to sign up for his next clinic. When I see her working with the serious kids and trainer, she is all business, and likes it. In some ways, I think she will enjoy it more playing where they focus on quick, intelligent passing. We've played PDA several times in 3v3 tournaments, and we always kept it close.

In the end, I signed her up for STA, and will sign her up for PDA. STA is first. She agreed to tryout, and we told her it's her choice, she can turn it down if she makes it.
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Re: More Backroom Deals Than Tammany Hall - A Youth Soccer Tale

Post by rass »

Ah, puberty. I didn’t mean that. More that if she plays up, once the girls one year older hit HS she might very well be out a team, at least for the fall.
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