Ridiculous Things You Read On Facebook

cerrano · Post by **cerrano** » Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:23 pm

rass wrote:
Jerloma wrote:She has kind of a weird bum, no?

brilliant. how did you know to look for "f u"?

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Oct 01, 2013 10:10 am

Sabo wrote:
Jerloma wrote:The other day, I posted something about Bill Nye being on DWTS with some science analogies about how I hate it. Anyway, some girl says, "I'm repulsed like electrons repel protons."
Speaking of Mr. Nye, he was hurt during tapings of "Dancing with the Stars".

Oh, but if you think an 80% torn quad is holding back the Science Guy, you got another thing coming...

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:29 pm

If girls who love dancing give up on dancing in California because we can't compete with the prostitutes then the hoes will win and there will be no more good dancers in the clubs there will only be hustlers pressuring people to go to the VIP there will be no stage entertainment I feel like its battle worthy to keep a place for all women who want to have freedom of expression and who love to dance to have a place to do so and Untill I can get my own club I feel somebody needs to keep these hoes in check they can't turn my favorite way to enjoy women into fuckin brothels I will be forever depressed if they win. Women should care even if they don't want to be a stripper or go to strip clubs because if dancers die out all that will be left for your husbands and boyfriends to see at clubs is high pressure sales prostitutes I say no mo ho in the strip club

No mo ho!

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:55 pm

I don't think I fully understand their premise.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 5:38 pm

P.D.X. wrote: No mo ho!

Man, I don't have any strippers as Facebook friends.

Post by **Shirley** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:25 pm

Jerloma wrote:I don't think I fully understand their premise.

It was something about freedom from punctuation.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Oct 03, 2013 8:42 pm

Shirley wrote:
Jerloma wrote:I don't think I fully understand their premise.
It was something about freedom from punctuation.

The battle cry of the Tea Party. Along with freedom from grammar and proper spelling.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Oct 09, 2013 9:41 am

Wake up, Tropicana. You suck and your team sucks. Game is over! Goodnight! GO SOX!!!

Win or lose...the proper response is always contempt for the other team's fan base.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:33 pm

So this morning my daughter called me over to see something she'd seen on Good Morning America - celebrity tweets about Lou Reed.

(She does like to get me riled up you see)

My head nearly exploded when they showed Miley Cyrus' tweet about Lou Reed. It was just too much for an old guy like myself to take. A bit later on Facebook I wrote "Did I really need to hear what Miley Cyrus tweeted upon learning of Lou Reed's death?"

Well, many of my cooler friends agreed with me, but the first comment came from a woman I knew in High School (and who I haven't seen in 25 years) - she wrote "I'm curious, what did she say?" And no, she wasn't being sarcastic or clever, she was merely curious.

Ten minutes ago, I checked back in with Facebook and saw that this same woman posted this inspiring picture:

Good lord.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:43 pm

So, what'd she say?

Post by **Shirley** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:43 pm

OK, a Bad Attitude and Gunshot Wounds. Those two are the only disabilities.

ZMan · Post by **ZMan** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 12:44 pm

Apparently she hasn't left her house over the past 25 yrs.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:36 pm

Pruitt wrote:So this morning my daughter called me over to see something she'd seen on Good Morning America - celebrity tweets about Lou Reed.

(She does like to get me riled up you see)

My head nearly exploded when they showed Miley Cyrus' tweet about Lou Reed. It was just too much for an old guy like myself to take. A bit later on Facebook I wrote "Did I really need to hear what Miley Cyrus tweeted upon learning of Lou Reed's death?"

Yeah. We might as well just have one giant "What the fuck is wrong with America's pussified death of journalism trainwreck collapse?" because we really could put this in any of the threads applicable.

There was an entire column today composed of that worthless shit. In the National Post, I believe. I skimmed and immediately clicked away once I realized what it was. What it wasn't? The Dave Bidini eulogy I was hoping for. What is was? An entire column dedicated to what "celebrities" tweeted about Lou Reed's passing. Seriously. Does it get any lazier than that? For starters, if anyone is pathetic enough to give a fuck what Miley Vaniley thinks about Lou Reed, they can easily follow that thing on its Twitter account. But, and this is the problem, some asshole gets paid as a journalist to copy and paste shit he (more likely she) finds on social media sites. "Oh! Here's what Rob Delany thinks about Lou Reed!" Whoever the fuck Rob Delany is. Or Bob or Ron. Or Delanney or Delaney or whatfuckingever. Two seconds of research reveals that he is a staggering unfunny excuse for a comedian. Or wannabe comedian. Whatever, who cares.

This is newsworthy? What some failing excuse of an actor has to say about a legend such as Lou Reed? The person who would be most appalled by bullshit like that is, unquestionably, Lou Reed.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:13 pm

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Sun Dec 15, 2013 8:32 pm

Facebook adverts are scary good. Right now the top ad on my screen is the book I took out of the library yesterday! Coincidence, or do they put the NSA to shame?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:22 pm

Last night about this time 2 of my friend, a married couple, made Facebook posts declaring their intentions of divorcing.

She wrote:

Family and friends: Yes, it is true that [Husband] & I are ending our marriage. I appreciate all of the e-mails and messages of concern that I have already received. Please keep both of us in your thoughts as this will be a very difficult transition for the both of us as well as our baby girl and our families, who are families to one another.

He wrote:

To my Family and friends, not that I wanted to put personal business on FB but to keep the questions at bay and to clear up questions I think it is best that I do. [Wife] and I are divorcing and will be signing the papers shortly. I apologize that WE have let you guys down and ask that you keep us both in your thoughts as we go through this tough transition. I love you all and again I am sorry........

The baby girl of theirs is his from a previous marriage. Also, these posts garnered 100 comments each. And the majority of them are some form of "Thoughts and prayers are headed your way." or are the "I can't believe this OMG!" variety.

It just looks fucking weird to me see this. Not them divorcing or anything. They never outwardly showed any issues when I was around them and their business is their business.

But...it's the reaction of friends and family that makes me go "WTF? Really?" First you're going to pray to G-d for what exactly? A smooth transition? It's a divorce and a military one at that. We're at like 80%. Those things are as common as deployments. And second does this type of stuff need to be put out there like that? I mean...how many people are so thoroughly involved in their lives? I guess that's just me though. I don't put my personal business like that out there (at least I don't think I do) and while it does come off like a press release and clears the air...really? It's just weird as shit to me. Maybe I'm the only dude who feels like this, but that's my opinion.

(And to those wondering...yes. She's pretty hot.)

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:28 pm

The Sybian wrote:Facebook adverts are scary good. Right now the top ad on my screen is the book I took out of the library yesterday! Coincidence, or do they put the NSA to shame?

Did you mention it? Or, rather, even start to mention it? Via Slashdot

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:38 pm

Johnnie wrote:But...it's the reaction of friends and family that makes me go "WTF? Really?" First you're going to pray to G-d for what exactly? A smooth transition? It's a divorce and a military one at that. We're at like 80%. Those things are as common as deployments. And second does this type of stuff need to be put out there like that? I mean...how many people are so thoroughly involved in their lives? I guess that's just me though. I don't put my personal business like that out there (at least I don't think I do) and while it does come off like a press release and clears the air...really? It's just weird as shit to me. Maybe I'm the only dude who feels like this, but that's my opinion.

(And to those wondering...yes. She's pretty hot.)

I don't know. If you are the type who is going to pray to a god for anything, why wouldn't you pray for comfort and help in going through a rough time like a divorce?

And I would imagine that putting a post on facebook, as weird as it is, would end up avoiding a lot of awkwardness when someone asks "how's your husband?" and the response has to be "which one?".

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:42 pm

Johnnie, 90% of those people will never attempt to summon their deity at all over this. It's simply a bunch of sheep nodding at each other so they can all pretend like they're doing something morally virtuous. A lot of people don't even take the time to type out "I'll pray for you" anymore. They just have to type the word "prayers."

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Dec 17, 2013 12:54 pm

I agree with both of you here. Yes, it does cut out the awkwardness (press release style), but no matter what, if these friends of mine have that many friends in their lives it will be talked about anyway via phone calls/Voxer/emails...etc.

So that's where I fall into Jerloma's line of thinking. It's a reflex habit to wish someone well just because. I haven't commented on either status thread because it doesn't affect me. That's their lives and I'm like "Well that sucks, but what are you gunna do?" It's just so disconcerting to see so many people in a feigned state of grief (outside of the ones with the bad grammar and the 'Oh, the humanity!' drama) over something so common.

kranepool · Post by **kranepool** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:41 am

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:19 pm

I had to look up the context. Pretty funny commercial.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:23 pm

Seeing that commercial, and the Samuel L. Jackson one, I wonder how much they paid for the talent. Or are good to great actors no longer in vogue?

Post by **brian** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:34 pm

Edward Norton and Robert Downey Jr. sell cellphones now. It's just how it is.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:40 pm

See also (if not first):

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 1:56 pm

brian wrote:Edward Norton and Robert Downey Jr. sell cellphones now. It's just how it is.

Everyone is just trying to keep up with T-Mobile's Bill Hader score.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:07 pm

That is fantastic. Who are those actors? Reminds me of these...

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 3:00 pm

brian wrote:Edward Norton and Robert Downey Jr. sell cellphones now. It's just how it is.

And they all sell shit overseas.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Thu Dec 19, 2013 12:41 pm

This is kind of funny. Although the buzz around Vancouver is that the author wrote/scripted the entire series of exchanges himself. And it does read like that. No matter. Still good.

Author 1, phisher 0: Vancouver novelist Steven Galloway claims ultimate troll on Facebook scammer

Inside of that story is a scrollable embedded series of images that runs about 26 short pages, screencaps, containing the entire series.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Dec 19, 2013 5:30 pm

Scottie wrote:This is kind of funny. Although the buzz around Vancouver is that the author wrote/scripted the entire series of exchanges himself. And it does read like that. No matter. Still good.

Author 1, phisher 0: Vancouver novelist Steven Galloway claims ultimate troll on Facebook scammer

Inside of that story is a scrollable embedded series of images that runs about 26 short pages, screencaps, containing the entire series.

That is really awesome. It's worth clicking on the link to see the entire facebook conversation.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:37 am

sancarlos wrote:
Scottie wrote:This is kind of funny. Although the buzz around Vancouver is that the author wrote/scripted the entire series of exchanges himself. And it does read like that. No matter. Still good.

Author 1, phisher 0: Vancouver novelist Steven Galloway claims ultimate troll on Facebook scammer

Inside of that story is a scrollable embedded series of images that runs about 26 short pages, screencaps, containing the entire series.
That is really awesome. It's worth clicking on the link to see the entire facebook conversation.

That is the funniest thing I have read in ages.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:48 am

Consider me in the minority then. I didn't think it was that funny at all, and it looked very clearly staged.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:17 am

Brontoburglar wrote:Consider me in the minority then. I didn't think it was that funny at all, and it looked very clearly staged.

I chuckled. Wasn't that funny. #Brontostrong

howard · Post by **howard** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:33 am

Why do phishers and Nigerian princes use intentional bad grammar? I assume it is intentional, because of the ubiquity. Some psychological effect they are going for?

(and you should assume my use of bad grammar is unintentional. 'cept when I'm quoting Ricky.)

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:44 am

howard wrote:Why do phishers and Nigerian princes use intentional bad grammar? I assume it is intentional, because of the ubiquity. Some psychological effect they are going for?

(and you should assume my use of bad grammar is unintentional. 'cept when I'm quoting Ricky.)

I'd guess that your command of Igbo grammar isn't the best either.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:06 pm

I spend a fair bit of time on a few stock message boards, and the grammar there often mirrors the scammer grammar. I don't think it's faked. Maybe I'm just gullible.

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:23 pm

Brontoburglar wrote:Consider me in the minority then. I didn't think it was that funny at all, and it looked very clearly staged.

And that's why I mentioned that it looked like he wrote it himself. I offered that opinion to a couple of other Vancouverites and they both replied along the lines of "well, now that you mention it...".

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 9:27 pm

Scottie wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:Consider me in the minority then. I didn't think it was that funny at all, and it looked very clearly staged.
And that's why I mentioned that it looked like he wrote it himself. I offered that opinion to a couple of other Vancouverites and they both replied along the lines of "well, now that you mention it...".

Oh, totally. I probably shouldn't have gone into it with that thought in my head, but I'm pretty sure I would have left going "this is like those Facebook conversations between the quarterbacks."

And about those, I really miss them.

Wait, apparently I've just been not reading them.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Dec 20, 2013 10:00 pm

Brontoburglar wrote:
Scottie wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:Consider me in the minority then. I didn't think it was that funny at all, and it looked very clearly staged.
And that's why I mentioned that it looked like he wrote it himself. I offered that opinion to a couple of other Vancouverites and they both replied along the lines of "well, now that you mention it...".
Oh, totally. I probably shouldn't have gone into it with that thought in my head, but I'm pretty sure I would have left going "this is like those Facebook conversations between the quarterbacks."

And about those, I really miss them.

Wait, apparently I've just been not reading them.

The first time I have ever liked Phillip Rivers. His Eli jokes were fantastic.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sat Dec 21, 2013 1:44 am

Hilarious. Those are fake?