Halloween - 13

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:45 pm

Any parties this weekend? Groovy new costume ideas? I'm going as a stoner from Berkley...

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:11 pm

Cool. What the fuck is Berkley?

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:15 pm

Scottie wrote:Cool. What the fuck is Berkley?

What do I look like, Jesus? Ask spell-check.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:17 pm

I found out last minute that I have to actually dress up as something so, I'm taking my horse mask, some crutches, and doing Barbaro in style 7 years after the fact.

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:19 pm

I went to a party dressed as Ted (aka Rally bear) last weekend. Would have been a lot funner of I was single, drunk women go absolutely nuts over that costume.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:19 pm

Gunpowder wrote:I found out last minute that I have to actually dress up as something so, I'm taking my horse mask, some crutches, and doing Barbaro in style 7 years after the fact.

Add your roethlisberger dong and you can be "Retired to Stud"

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:20 pm

AB_skin_test wrote:
Gunpowder wrote:I found out last minute that I have to actually dress up as something so, I'm taking my horse mask, some crutches, and doing Barbaro in style 7 years after the fact.

Add your roethlisberger dong and you can be "Retired to Stud"

Not sure the dong would be as well-accepted around the members of the Naples Junior Women's Club.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:23 pm

Gunpowder wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
Gunpowder wrote:I found out last minute that I have to actually dress up as something so, I'm taking my horse mask, some crutches, and doing Barbaro in style 7 years after the fact.

Add your roethlisberger dong and you can be "Retired to Stud"

Not sure the dong would be as well-accepted around the members of the Naples Junior Women's Club.

I don't know what the world's coming to that GPJ won't hang dong at a halloween party.

I've reached the limits of my own cynicism I guess.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:24 pm

DONGSVIEW

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:25 pm

Back in my day, people hung dong at Girl Scout Halloween parties!

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:25 pm

Jerloma wrote:Back in my day, people hung dong at Girl Scout Halloween parties!

Well, all the lesbians wouldn't care.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Oct 25, 2013 2:33 pm

I buy a case of Lemon Hungdongs every spring.

I'll come up with something easy and punny to wear here at work to pick up the participatory Starbucks giftcard.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:37 pm

Some dude was donging it on the bus loop. Good man.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:30 am

Yes!

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:56 pm

This year's pumpkin:

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 2:32 pm

Nice.

Both of you, but I really dig the pumpkin.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:18 pm

I have to give props to my friend who went as Wednesday Addams.

(Admittedly the photo looks much better in black and white than color. She's a natural redhead wearing a wig and you can tell in a colorized photo. Still, she did pretty good.)

As for me, meh. I'm just not feeling like dressing up as anything this year at all. I nailed it last year as a Korean Flower Lady. I owned Songtan:

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 3:32 pm

rass wrote:Nice.

Both of you, but I really dig the pumpkin.

Aaaaand...now you're going to hell, liberal.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Oct 28, 2013 4:54 pm

These guys rule.

More here

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 2:46 pm

This lady's house is going to break a record for eggs tomorrow night...

Tom 1860 · Post by **Tom 1860** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 4:07 pm

Can somebody explain the Halloween thing and its place in US culture?

I imagine its has grown over many years due to the money that can be made from it (much like the way Paddy's day is celebrated)?

The reason I ask, is that we, over the pond in Blighty, are now beginning to see its impact on an epidemic scale (like Paddy's day) and it kind of fucks me off... I just see it as an opportunity for people to make money and kids to behave (legitimately) like arseholes.

We have learnt how to celebrate Halloween mainly via the tube and the net, so our view is of happy white families walking their kids around their local community to collect sweets and/or kids dressing up and behaving like little cunts (which is funny apparently).

I am in my 40's and am aware that I can be a pessimistic old wanker, however I do find it pretty galling that us Brits have taken all the worst aspects of Halloween - Teenagers acting like cunts in groups of 6 or more, going house to house (usually without costumes) demanding treats and being overly aggressive. We have not taken the community aspect of the US celebrations and seem to have a bastardised version of what I considered to be a pretty shite idea in the first place.

We do have adult parties that involve fancy dress and alcohol, which is good. It the local teenagers that really feck me off though. If it was cute kids and their parents/carers, that would be different. They do go out together for Guy Fawkes night on November 5th, which makes me think that we can still socially invest in our local communities in the right manner if we want too?

I can't blame you guys over the pond for the behaviour of British teenagers, however I would like to lay the concept of trick or treating firmly at your door (I am aware that the Brits invented concentration camps etc and that we have been proper wrong in the past)...

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 4:29 pm

Tom 1860 wrote:Can somebody explain the Halloween thing and its place in US culture?

I imagine its has grown over many years due to the money that can be made from it (much like the way Paddy's day is celebrated)?

The reason I ask, is that we, over the pond in Blighty, are now beginning to see its impact on an epidemic scale (like Paddy's day) and it kind of fucks me off... I just see it as an opportunity for people to make money and kids to behave (legitimately) like arseholes.

We have learnt how to celebrate Halloween mainly via the tube and the net, so our view is of happy white families walking their kids around their local community to collect sweets and/or kids dressing up and behaving like little cunts (which is funny apparently).

I am in my 40's and am aware that I can be a pessimistic old wanker, however I do find it pretty galling that us Brits have taken all the worst aspects of Halloween - Teenagers acting like cunts in groups of 6 or more, going house to house (usually without costumes) demanding treats and being overly aggressive. We have not taken the community aspect of the US celebrations and seem to have a bastardised version of what I considered to be a pretty shite idea in the first place.

We do have adult parties that involve fancy dress and alcohol, which is good. It the local teenagers that really feck me off though. If it was cute kids and their parents/carers, that would be different. They do go out together for Guy Fawkes night on November 5th, which makes me think that we can still socially invest in our local communities in the right manner if we want too?

I can't blame you guys over the pond for the behaviour of British teenagers, however I would like to lay the concept of trick or treating firmly at your door (I am aware that the Brits invented concentration camps etc and that we have been proper wrong in the past)...

Tom,

I have nothing to add other than to say, post more often. I need more reasons to read in a UK-ish accent of some type or another during my day. Hope all is well. Scare the wankers off with a chainsaw. Tallyho!

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:01 pm

Tom 1860 wrote:Can somebody explain the Halloween thing and its place in US culture?

Since you asked . . . It is pure bullshit meant to, like most things in the business world, make money. Much as many other designated calendar days have a thin veil that purports legitimacy, Halloween passes itself off as the presumably pagan ritual tradition rooted in harvest festivals and honoring the dead; evidently the harvest of sodium benzoate, butylated hydroxyanisole, high fructose corn syrup and the mocking of one's more embarrassing relatives that apparently reside in some state of eternal damnation.

But that's all crap. Yes, such festivals used to exist however modern Halloween has nothing whatsoever to do with them. It's just another greedy spoiled child's day and yet one more day when parents must frustratingly scramble about, school teachers don't have to actually do their jobs, and people who don't want any kids around have to endure hoards of kids being around. What's the ultimate point of it? It was a gap in the calendar wherein no senseless shopping frenzy was present; rubbish merchants impatient for the compelled spending lunacy of Christmas were baying at the idea of cash register lineups through which would egress mountains of cheap tawdry dreck and ephemeral gimcrack baloney. Parents and providers spend money on kiddie costumes, spend money on packaged chemicals that never rise above being bags of flavored gunk that arrived on container ships from China and know no quality control; Americans will spend close to two-and-a-half billion dollars on Halloween candy alone this year in order to perpetuate the feeling of entitlement that children in America have far too much of as it is. Halloween is a conformity test that most people fail by feeling obliged to participate else they be thought antisocial. Yes, not pissing money away is antisocial on occasions. Just as not giving a rat's ass about some stranger's kid, and why would you, is antisocial.

In short, it's just another way for purveyors of crap to sell garbage to idiots. Its appeal to adults is lost on me given that, in an office for example, it is popularized by the set of numb sloths who will use any excuse possible to not actually function in the manner for which they are being paid. Typically women, the ticket selling birthday cake celebration sign this card save the whales box of chocolates kid's charity soccer team t-shirts to blow the homeless sort of morons that come by your office at least once per day, Halloween is just another opportunity to do something at work that isn't work. Outside of the office, it is just another excuse to go out and get drunk and if you need an excuse to drink you aren't drinking right.

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:26 pm

Scottie wrote:…and if you need an excuse to drink you aren't drinking right.

Word.

All these years after retirement, I still hate fucking amateurs.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:26 pm

that's happening at my work right now. There's a woman who hasn't done a thing over the last few days. I QC her work so I haven't had much to do so I've been doing other stuff.

She's spent probably over $100 decorating our entire work space (12 cubicles) and is mad that none of us are matching her level. I've done a few small things to decorate my area and threw her $10 for her to get me a couple of items (and to shut her up).

I found myself able to find a lot of Halloween themed pictures on the internet to print out and make my area Halloweeny enough.

Like this Chinese Pumpkin!

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:37 pm

degenerasian wrote:that's happening at my work right now. There's a woman who hasn't done a thing over the last few days. I QC her work so I haven't had much to do so I've been doing other stuff.

She's spent probably over $100 decorating our entire work space (12 cubicles) and is mad that none of us are matching her level. I've done a few small things to decorate my area and threw her $10 for her to get me a couple of items (and to shut her up).

I found myself able to find a lot of Halloween themed pictures on the internet to print out and make my area Halloweeny enough.

Like this Chinese Pumpkin![/img]

Nice. I made this guy today...

Tom 1860 wrote:and it kind of fucks me off...

I love that so hard.

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:45 pm

We need to swear like Brits more often. Not just in the soccer/EPL threads. FFS.

Tom 1860 · Post by **Tom 1860** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:09 pm

howard wrote:We need to swear like Brits more often. Not just in the soccer/EPL threads. FFS.

I only noticed afterwards that I had sworn six or seven times (including using the 'C' word twice) before I used "feck" as opposed to "fuck", I have no idea why I did this, guilt maybe?

PS

I would recommend that all Swampers buy a copy of Roger's Profanisaurus (from Viz).

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:26 pm

Scottie wrote:
Tom 1860 wrote:Can somebody explain the Halloween thing and its place in US culture?
Since you asked . . . It is pure bullshit meant to, like most things in the business world, make money. Much as many other designated calendar days have a thin veil that purports legitimacy, Halloween passes itself off as the presumably pagan ritual tradition rooted in harvest festivals and honoring the dead; evidently the harvest of sodium benzoate, butylated hydroxyanisole, high fructose corn syrup and the mocking of one's more embarrassing relatives that apparently reside in some state of eternal damnation.

But that's all crap. Yes, such festivals used to exist however modern Halloween has nothing whatsoever to do with them. It's just another greedy spoiled child's day and yet one more day when parents must frustratingly scramble about, school teachers don't have to actually do their jobs, and people who don't want any kids around have to endure hoards of kids being around. What's the ultimate point of it? It was a gap in the calendar wherein no senseless shopping frenzy was present; rubbish merchants impatient for the compelled spending lunacy of Christmas were baying at the idea of cash register lineups through which would egress mountains of cheap tawdry dreck and ephemeral gimcrack baloney. Parents and providers spend money on kiddie costumes, spend money on packaged chemicals that never rise above being bags of flavored gunk that arrived on container ships from China and know no quality control; Americans will spend close to two-and-a-half billion dollars on Halloween candy alone this year in order to perpetuate the feeling of entitlement that children in America have far too much of as it is. Halloween is a conformity test that most people fail by feeling obliged to participate else they be thought antisocial. Yes, not pissing money away is antisocial on occasions. Just as not giving a rat's ass about some stranger's kid, and why would you, is antisocial.

In short, it's just another way for purveyors of crap to sell garbage to idiots. Its appeal to adults is lost on me given that, in an office for example, it is popularized by the set of numb sloths who will use any excuse possible to not actually function in the manner for which they are being paid. Typically women, the ticket selling birthday cake celebration sign this card save the whales box of chocolates kid's charity soccer team t-shirts to blow the homeless sort of morons that come by your office at least once per day, Halloween is just another opportunity to do something at work that isn't work. Outside of the office, it is just another excuse to go out and get drunk and if you need an excuse to drink you aren't drinking right.

I agree with all of that but still...when do I get to dress like Jesus?

Scottie · Post by **Scottie** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:46 pm

Move to British Columbia. You can sport the Al-BuhJeezy look all day long, whether in an executive office or simply wandering the streets, and nobody would think that you were in any way out of the ordinary.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:37 pm

Tom, it seems like you already have a firm grasp on Halloween in the US.

This pretty much nails it. too:

In short, it's just another way for purveyors of crap to sell garbage to idiots.

As I just said in the dating thread, Halloween is the greatest day of the single guy's year. Girls dress all slutty and put out. That is the small window of Halloween being great.

ETA: all you single guys better post pics of the broads at your parties. I need to do some vicarious living, and Degen ain't cutting it right now.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:46 am

The Sybian wrote:ETA: all you single guys better post pics of the broads at your parties. I need to do some vicarious living, and Degen ain't cutting it right now.

What if he gets his barista to slut up his latte?

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:56 am

Hallowe'en is great.

Seriously - nothing wrong with kids running around and having fun. Nothing wrong with people decorating their homes. Nothing wrong with women dressing in sexy outfits. Nothing wrong with a night of drunken revelry.

What irritates me about Hallowe'en is the fact that once the sun rises tomorrow, every fucking store on this continent will have replaced its Hallowe'en themed merchandise with the Christmas crap.

Get ready for eight weeks of Burl Ives, tinsel and stupid "War Is Over" played on an endless loop.

So enjoy the drunk teenagers and the ugly kids dressed as unicorns - starting tomorrow, things get a lot worse.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 7:26 am

I like halloween. Spending is negligible. A few pumpkins, a costume for the kids.

I don't understand why anyone would have a level of vitriol greater than "mild" for it, but hey, to each his own.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:39 am

Oh, stop it, AB. You know how it works in here. We act like curmudgeons because it's funny. It's kind of our schtick. Don't be getting all uppitty on us.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 8:57 am

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Tom 1860 · Post by **Tom 1860** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:09 am

Pruitt wrote:Hallowe'en is great.

Seriously - nothing wrong with kids running around and having fun. Nothing wrong with people decorating their homes. Nothing wrong with women dressing in sexy outfits. Nothing wrong with a night of drunken revelry.

What irritates me about Hallowe'en is the fact that once the sun rises tomorrow, every fucking store on this continent will have replaced its Hallowe'en themed merchandise with the Christmas crap.

Get ready for eight weeks of Burl Ives, tinsel and stupid "War Is Over" played on an endless loop.

So enjoy the drunk teenagers and the ugly kids dressed as unicorns - starting tomorrow, things get a lot worse.

I suppose buying stuff related to imaginary stuff that nobody believes in, is better than buying stuff (for 8 weeks) related to imaginary stuff that a lot of people believe in?

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:17 am

Tom 1860 wrote:
Pruitt wrote:Hallowe'en is great.

Seriously - nothing wrong with kids running around and having fun. Nothing wrong with people decorating their homes. Nothing wrong with women dressing in sexy outfits. Nothing wrong with a night of drunken revelry.

What irritates me about Hallowe'en is the fact that once the sun rises tomorrow, every fucking store on this continent will have replaced its Hallowe'en themed merchandise with the Christmas crap.

Get ready for eight weeks of Burl Ives, tinsel and stupid "War Is Over" played on an endless loop.

So enjoy the drunk teenagers and the ugly kids dressed as unicorns - starting tomorrow, things get a lot worse.
I suppose buying stuff related to imaginary stuff that nobody believes in, is better than buying stuff (for 8 weeks) related to imaginary stuff that a lot of people believe in?

Yes, yes it is.

And besides, on Hallowe'en, there's candy for all.

Tom 1860 · Post by **Tom 1860** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:26 am

Bring on 8 weeks of twatting humbug I say... Incidentally, I have just returned from Tesco's where they already have a Christmas aisle, the money felching cunts!

I love being in my 40's and being grumpy as fuck, too old to still play competitive sport and too young to sit around waiting to die. I intend to cast a shadow of Christmas gloom upon all those I meet between now and fake child's fake birthday.

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Oct 31, 2013 10:32 am

Tom 1860 wrote:I love being in my 40's and being grumpy as fuck, too old to still play competitive sport and too young to sit around waiting to die. I intend to cast a shadow of Christmas gloom upon all those I meet between now and fake child's fake birthday.

You are my new hero, Tom.