2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

Moderators: Shirley, brian, ZMan, Sabo

Post Reply
tennbengal
The Dude
Posts: 5441
Joined: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:07 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by tennbengal » Thu Feb 07, 2019 1:49 pm

Also a pretty rock solid misogny suspension in 2016 at aTm for good measure just to make clear he didn’t learn anything from his bullying and homophobia in Miami. On the upside, his lines have always kinda sucked, so anytime you can hire that kind of person, you gotta do it. Accountability and character matter for Zac Taylor, unless it is his friend. Great start for Taylor. Top notch.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Thu Feb 07, 2019 1:52 pm

I find it's best to just assume the worst these days about anything to do with the NFL and go from there.

There's probably at least a 10 percent chance that Belichick has a sex dungeon in his basement where he brings runaways before violating and dismembering them and dumping them at sea.
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 10085
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Johnnie » Thu Feb 07, 2019 2:25 pm

brian wrote:
Thu Feb 07, 2019 1:52 pm
There's probably at least a 10 percent chance that Belichick has a sex dungeon in his basement where he brings runaways before violating and dismembering them and dumping them at sea.
I believe that's called "the NFL."
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Thu Feb 07, 2019 2:33 pm

Johnnie wrote:
Thu Feb 07, 2019 2:25 pm
brian wrote:
Thu Feb 07, 2019 1:52 pm
There's probably at least a 10 percent chance that Belichick has a sex dungeon in his basement where he brings runaways before violating and dismembering them and dumping them at sea.
I believe that's called "the NFL."
That's literally almost exactly what I said.
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
Giff
The Dude
Posts: 5197
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:26 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Giff » Thu Feb 07, 2019 3:13 pm

brian wrote:
Thu Feb 07, 2019 1:52 pm
I find it's best to just assume the worst these days about anything to do with the NFL and go from there.

There's probably at least a 10 percent chance that Belichick has a sex dungeon in his basement where he brings runaways before violating and dismembering them and dumping them at sea.
I'd put JJ Watt at 80 percent.
Muh.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:13 pm

Fuck the Browns.

"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

Johnnie
The Dude
Posts: 10085
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:31 pm
Location: ABQ, BITCH!

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Johnnie » Mon Feb 11, 2019 2:22 pm

mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 14442
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Pruitt » Mon Feb 11, 2019 5:34 pm

I was going to make the above joke.

A member of the Toronto Browns Backers group actually posted this...
Remember that these videos are not always as clear cut as they seem. This is what I deal with on a daily basis for a living and people can be very quick to judge a moment in time without all the facts. I don't agree with what he did but if he was a criminal he would be in jail!
The leader of the group said this...
Obviously Dorsey has an eye for talent, well, I think he’s also got an eye for character and I honestly believe Hunt may not be this complete asshole that the world makes him out to be. Obviously he has some issues but when you put a troubled kid in a WINNING, yes I said winning, environment then his chances are better, especially with Dorsey, of turning his life around.
The hypocrisy is amazing. If the Bengals signed him they would be talking about how sleazy that franchise is. I just mentioned Joe Mixon in the group and am bracing for some abuse.
"Pruitt is an outstanding representative of the team. The fans love him."

HaulCitgo
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1470
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:07 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by HaulCitgo » Mon Feb 11, 2019 5:46 pm

Winning is more important. It's ok. Just say it.

Gunpowder
The Dude
Posts: 6254
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:52 am
Location: NAPES, FLURRDA
Contact:

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Gunpowder » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:35 pm

Mixon and Hunt are different and you know that. Mixon has only been arrested a fraction of the times that Hunt has.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 14442
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Pruitt » Mon Feb 11, 2019 7:31 pm

Gunpowder wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:35 pm
Mixon and Hunt are different and you know that. Mixon has only been arrested a fraction of the times that Hunt has.
Ha!

And never as a pro. Weak.
"Pruitt is an outstanding representative of the team. The fans love him."

User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 16585
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d » Mon Feb 11, 2019 7:39 pm

Mixon broke a girl's face, right?
Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 14442
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Pruitt » Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:24 pm

Posted by a middle aged woman who is a member of the Toronto Browns Backers.
Don't forget what the great Jim Brown did...I couldn't even finish reading his book when he started describing what he did to women....sounds like this woman wasn't totally innocent...I have to believe Dorsey knows what he is doing...Go Browns!!!!
"Pruitt is an outstanding representative of the team. The fans love him."

User avatar
The Sybian
The Dude
Posts: 10604
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 am
Location: Working in the Crap Part of Jersey

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by The Sybian » Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:49 pm

Pruitt wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:24 pm
Posted by a middle aged woman who is a member of the Toronto Browns Backers.
Don't forget what the great Jim Brown did...I couldn't even finish reading his book when he started describing what he did to women....sounds like this woman wasn't totally innocent...I have to believe Dorsey knows what he is doing...Go Browns!!!!
Browns fans need to register as a religious cult. With their history, how could anyone put blind faith into their management's decisions? Tim Couch is guaranteed to make the Hall of Fame, otherwise why would the Browns select him? Maybe my lifetime Jets' fandom has jaded me, but most Jets fans automatically assume disaster no matter what decision the team makes. Even when new owners, management or coaching staffs come in, Jets fans assume the worst and boo our first round pick most years.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
-Pruitt

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 14442
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Pruitt » Tue Feb 12, 2019 6:51 am

The Sybian wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:49 pm
Pruitt wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 9:24 pm
Posted by a middle aged woman who is a member of the Toronto Browns Backers.
Don't forget what the great Jim Brown did...I couldn't even finish reading his book when he started describing what he did to women....sounds like this woman wasn't totally innocent...I have to believe Dorsey knows what he is doing...Go Browns!!!!
Browns fans need to register as a religious cult. With their history, how could anyone put blind faith into their management's decisions? Tim Couch is guaranteed to make the Hall of Fame, otherwise why would the Browns select him? Maybe my lifetime Jets' fandom has jaded me, but most Jets fans automatically assume disaster no matter what decision the team makes. Even when new owners, management or coaching staffs come in, Jets fans assume the worst and boo our first round pick most years.
Not quite - these fans usually have a "hope for the best, expect the worst" mentality combined with a belief that the Browns are a cornerstone franchise with a (long past) history that every fan knows.

But I think this is a case of simply trying to justify what is morally unjustifiable. Some of the fans are disgusted, more are saying that it's gross, but a good football move while others are basically saying that the magical waters and new tradition blooming in northern Ohio will magically transform Hunt into a Walter Payton award candidate. Craziness.
"Pruitt is an outstanding representative of the team. The fans love him."

sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 10380
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by sancarlos » Tue Feb 12, 2019 10:53 am

Sadly, I don't think this is a "team" issue. I think every single NFL team would sign a Nazi general if he filled a team need. They all know their competition would do it, so they figure that allows them to justify doing it themselves. Morals and standards only exist in this league when it is convenient.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 16585
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d » Tue Feb 12, 2019 11:54 am

Image
Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

rass
The Dude
Posts: 11977
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:41 am
Location: N effin' J

Whither AB

Post by rass » Tue Feb 12, 2019 3:16 pm



dammit?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.

User avatar
Sabo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4543
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Sabo » Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:36 am

Broncos trading for Joe Flacco.

Boy, Elway sure knows how to pick QBs, doesn't he?
The Sybian wrote:Goddamnit, Sabo!

Gunpowder
The Dude
Posts: 6254
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:52 am
Location: NAPES, FLURRDA
Contact:

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Gunpowder » Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:38 am

Elway is trying to get fired. Flacco is shot.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

Gunpowder
The Dude
Posts: 6254
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 7:52 am
Location: NAPES, FLURRDA
Contact:

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Gunpowder » Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:41 am

Gunpowder wrote:
Tue Feb 05, 2019 7:49 am
I'm early in my 5-minute Youtube review process but so far Dwayne Haskins looks better to me than any of the QBs from last year's draft.


Early impressions so far on draft picks:

The corners (particularly Byron Murphy) look incredible. If Greedy Williams' technique improves substantially with NFL coaching, he might be ridiculous.

The pass rushers (particularly Josh Allen) look unimpressive. I have no idea what people are seeing in Allen. Rashaan Gary has no pass rush moves at all but Michigan inexplicably used him as an edge rusher. So far he's the most impressive of the DL/DE guys to me, if used properly and if he develops.

NM - the more I watch of Haskins, the more his limitations look like they may be problematic. I'd definitely put Darnold over him and possibly Lamar Jackson. He just struggles so much to hit deep balls.

He's also under a ton of pressure and every QB this year seems to crack too much under pressure but - teams blitz the shit out of Haskins, and I can't tell if they issue is him or the offense. Any OSU fans in here? The Buckeyes ran such a stupid Madden 2007 offense - they are so far in the past with this that you really think Haskins is Drew Bledsoe. Urban Meyer falls apart when he doesn't have a runny QB to run his dumbass system. (Shut up, Stephen A.). It's like watching the Dallas Cowboys offense.

Usually blitzing tells you a lot about a QB - for example, teams blitzed Josh Allen like crazy but very rarely went after Mason Rudolph - but here I can't tell.
"Enjoyed this one," Gunpowder told the Burlington Observer. "But it's back to work tomorrow."

sancarlos
The Dude
Posts: 10380
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:46 pm
Location: NorCal via Colorado

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by sancarlos » Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:51 am

Sabo wrote:
Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:36 am
Broncos trading for Joe Flacco.

Boy, Elway sure knows how to pick QBs, doesn't he?
This does not please me.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian

User avatar
Pruitt
The Dude
Posts: 14442
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:02 am
Location: North Shore of Lake Ontario

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Pruitt » Wed Feb 13, 2019 12:24 pm

sancarlos wrote:
Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:51 am
Sabo wrote:
Wed Feb 13, 2019 11:36 am
Broncos trading for Joe Flacco.

Boy, Elway sure knows how to pick QBs, doesn't he?
This does not please me.
So, you're not a Chargers fan then?
"Pruitt is an outstanding representative of the team. The fans love him."

User avatar
Sabo
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 4543
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:33 am
Location: On the trail

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Sabo » Wed Feb 13, 2019 12:25 pm

The Sybian wrote:Goddamnit, Sabo!

Joe K
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3871
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:37 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Joe K » Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:57 am


Joe K
Walter Sobchak
Posts: 3871
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:37 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Joe K » Fri Feb 22, 2019 11:59 am

Spygate 2.0:


User avatar
mister d
The Dude
Posts: 16585
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:15 am

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:02 pm

"Actually, and this is so dumb it has to be true, they call him 'The Handjob Getter' because he once helped a friend of a friend land a gig as a hand model."
Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

User avatar
Rush2112
The Dude
Posts: 5679
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:35 pm
Location: Cyrus X-1
Contact:

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Rush2112 » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:04 pm

Wonder if he had to use a condom for his blowie.
"If you're into power let's go down to my van, because Red Barchetta through a 10 gigawatt pre-amp is-wait... pleassee tell me you're into Rush...."

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:04 pm

mister d wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:02 pm
"Actually, and this is so dumb it has to be true, they call him 'The Handjob Getter' because he once helped a friend of a friend land a gig as a hand model."
Just wait until Patriot truthers start legitimately insisting that the NFL is framing him. That'll probably be on Barstool in like 10 minutes.
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
Rush2112
The Dude
Posts: 5679
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:35 pm
Location: Cyrus X-1
Contact:

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Rush2112 » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:23 pm

Or maybe the dude is an idiot and spent all his pocket cash on Scotch and wanted a quick wank.

What it currently looks like is that the guy got a handie, liked it, and went back to get another one.

Not the best look, and if it's a "closed shop" prostitution shop, really not a good look and a stupid choice for anyone.
"If you're into power let's go down to my van, because Red Barchetta through a 10 gigawatt pre-amp is-wait... pleassee tell me you're into Rush...."

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:38 pm

Really makes you wonder what Bob Kraft could do that Pats fans would defend, even tepidly.

"Look I agree it's not good to slit the throats of puppies and drink their blood, but they probably weren't gonna be adopted and just would have been put down anyway, so...."
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
Rush2112
The Dude
Posts: 5679
Joined: Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:35 pm
Location: Cyrus X-1
Contact:

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Rush2112 » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm

Dude, you're probably getting more jollies from this than Kraft got from the handy.

Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

He made really stupid choices in doing it

1. in a state it's not legal
2. going back to a place where it's not legal
3. doing it in a place that may have some prostitutes that aren't exactly there willingly.

He's an idiot. How the fuck is that "defending him?"
"If you're into power let's go down to my van, because Red Barchetta through a 10 gigawatt pre-amp is-wait... pleassee tell me you're into Rush...."

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:59 pm

Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude, you're probably getting more jollies from this than Kraft got from the handy.

Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

He made really stupid choices in doing it

1. in a state it's not legal
2. going back to a place where it's not legal
3. doing it in a place that may have some prostitutes that aren't exactly there willingly.

He's an idiot. How the fuck is that "defending him?"
Your whole attitude was basically "no big deal...nothing to see here", which appears to be pretty far from the truth, especially if these were sex slaves he was "got a handie, liked it, and went back to get another one" with.

I'm of the opinion that prostitution should not be illegal quite honestly, but this wasn't some $1,000/hour escort.
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:01 pm

I was the first person to tear into the Lions for hiring a rapist as a head coach and even if that case was dismissed I'm not going to use it as an excuse to let them off the hook.

This isn't as bad, but it's goddamn near almost as bad.
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
EnochRoot
Donny
Posts: 2669
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by EnochRoot » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:03 pm

Rush2112 wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 12:46 pm
Dude, you're probably getting more jollies from this than Kraft got from the handy.

Dude got a handjob like thousands of old dudes do every day. Big whoop.

He made really stupid choices in doing it

1. in a state it's not legal
2. going back to a place where it's not legal
3. doing it in a place that may have some prostitutes that aren't exactly there willingly.

He's an idiot. How the fuck is that "defending him?"
I don't think it's as cut and dry as you're making it sound.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:04 pm

"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
EdRomero
The Big Lebowski
Posts: 1091
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:39 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by EdRomero » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:09 pm

Are you supposed to do due diligence on places that give happy endings to make sure that nothing else illegal is going on? Anyway, Kraft has been a pathetic embarrassment since his wife died. Thanks for keeping the team in New England and staying out of Belichick's way (and some good philanthropy), but hopefully his son will be better.

User avatar
EnochRoot
Donny
Posts: 2669
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:18 pm

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by EnochRoot » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:10 pm

brian wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:04 pm
These operations hide in plain sight for the very reason to attract clients like Kraft.

User avatar
brian
The Dude
Posts: 16848
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am
Location: T-Mobile Arena

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:11 pm

EdRomero wrote:
Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:09 pm
Are you supposed to do due diligence on places that give happy endings to make sure that nothing else illegal is going on? Anyway, Kraft has been a pathetic embarrassment since his wife died. Thanks for keeping the team in New England and staying out of Belichick's way (and some good philanthropy), but hopefully his son will be better.
Another one here.

"Man, I really thought the guy selling $20 Blu-Ray players out of the back of his truck was legit!"
"Cut from the cloth of a flag that bears the name 'Battle Born'..." - Flesh and Bone, The Killers

User avatar
Ryan
The Dude
Posts: 6528
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:01 am

Re: 2019 NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Ryan » Fri Feb 22, 2019 1:12 pm

You're all blind idiots. Richard Palmer.

Post Reply