NFL Offseason Thread

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Gunpowder »

rass wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 8:57 am

In case someone needed some motivation to get back in the recording studio.

Coincidentally I've been in the studio quite often in the past few months!

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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by TT2.0 »

Giff wrote: Wed Jun 12, 2019 1:52 pm So, and I truly hope to never find out how funny this would be because I've met the guy in person and he's awesome, the Swamp is now obligated to shave our collective heads if J-Lo ever gets some really shitty health news.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Report: Kellen Winslow II Couldn't Stop Masturbating In Front Of His Teammates
“With Kellen, everybody knew what he was about: video games and fucking.”
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Johnnie wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 6:54 pm Report: Kellen Winslow II Couldn't Stop Masturbating In Front Of His Teammates
“With Kellen, everybody knew what he was about: video games and fucking.”
You must have missed the diddystyle days of the Swamp.

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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Johnnie »

I vaguely remember that name. I just thought it was Hood* with an alias.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by A_B »

I'd like to take back that "Ab the White" think, if it pleases the court.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by rass »

A_B wrote: Fri Jun 14, 2019 2:25 pm I'd like to take back that "Ab the White" think, if it pleases the court.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d »

Is the punch line there supposed to be "just kidding, half the players will be done after 3 minimum salary years, they'll still get life-altering concussions and they will not have a right to use their status to weigh in on critical social issues LOL"?
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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mister d wrote: Tue Jun 18, 2019 1:32 pm Is the punch line there supposed to be "just kidding, half the players will be done after 3 minimum salary years, they'll still get life-altering concussions and they will not have a right to use their status to weigh in on critical social issues LOL"?
Sort of, but I think the comic is taking the "side" of the players and not making fun of them.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by duff »

Who the fuck has 02 as a football number. That is the real joke of the comic.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by sancarlos »

mister d wrote: Tue Jun 18, 2019 1:32 pm Is the punch line there supposed to be "just kidding, half the players will be done after 3 minimum salary years, they'll still get life-altering concussions and they will not have a right to use their status to weigh in on critical social issues LOL"?
Did you not see the punch line at the bottom?
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by L-Jam3 »

duff wrote: Tue Jun 18, 2019 1:57 pm Who the fuck has 02 as a football number. That is the real joke of the comic.
Benito Santiago. Duh.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by duff »

L-Jam3 wrote: Tue Jun 18, 2019 2:18 pm
duff wrote: Tue Jun 18, 2019 1:57 pm Who the fuck has 02 as a football number. That is the real joke of the comic.
Benito Santiago. Duh.
Take your baseball talk to the other thread.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d »

I thought "fantasy" was aimed at the players, like how if I asked for a 50% raise it would be a fantasy world.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by A_B »

You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Well, this one might spark a little disagreement!

Cowboys, Patriots fans are best in the NFL; Chiefs, Los Angeles lagging: study
The goal of the study is to use statistical analysis to determine the NFL’s “best” fans, judged on the entirety of the fanbase. In other words: every team has its core of religiously devoted, ride-or-die fans; the teams at the top of the list simply have many, many more.

Dr. Lewis judges fan bases on three criteria: Fan Equity, Social Equity and Road Equity.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Johnnie »

Well yeah..."religiously devoted." Zealots are trash.

You can't exactly measure "decency of collective humans who root for Team X."
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Giff »

tennbengal, you OK?
well this is gonna be someone's new signature - bronto
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by tennbengal »

Giff wrote: Tue Jun 25, 2019 7:21 pm tennbengal, you OK?
I am in upstate New York near Saratoga springs tent camping on a night where the stars are about three feet away. So, generally , yes. As for the curse on the Bengals, you get numb to these things.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Gunpowder »

Didn't Coy Bacon (or something like that) have 26 one year supposedly?
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Johnny Carwash »

brian wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 3:38 pm
rass wrote: Sat Aug 02, 2014 7:01 pm This guy's act fucking kills me.
Strahan no longer the single season sacks record holder.

(Well, kind of.)
Yay, another slightly famous alma mater. Good for him.

"You should have had the record but we didn't bother to count at the time so tough shit" sounds like a proper Lions thing.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by brian »

Gunpowder wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:36 pm Didn't Coy Bacon (or something like that) have 26 one year supposedly?
PFR went back to 1960 so apparently not. Given how little passing (relatively) there was prior to that seems like 23 is probably the “real” record. Really, Strahan had 21.5 as far as I’m concerned since Favre took a dive for him.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Pruitt »

Gunpowder wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:36 pm Didn't Coy Bacon (or something like that) have 26 one year supposedly?
(Tell Bengal to not look at this.)

The definition of a bad trade...
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The Washington Redskins traded for Bacon and Lemar Parrish before the 1978 season in exchange for a first-round draft pick. He recorded 15 sacks in 1979 and 11 in 1980. And Parrish was a pro bowler in two of the next three seasons.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by L-Jam3 »

Reggie White had 21 in a 12-game season. The same 12-game season Jerry Rice had 22 receiving TDs.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by Gunpowder »

brian wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:44 pm
Gunpowder wrote: Wed Jul 14, 2021 4:36 pm Didn't Coy Bacon (or something like that) have 26 one year supposedly?
PFR went back to 1960 so apparently not. Given how little passing (relatively) there was prior to that seems like 23 is probably the “real” record. Really, Strahan had 21.5 as far as I’m concerned since Favre took a dive for him.
Believe it or not there were actually more sacks back in the day. There's much more passing nowadays but teams get the ball out so quick.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

And you can damn near leave a free runner with a bunch of qbs. Roll the other direction and maybe fast enough to leave the back side or even so long as he's facing the rusher that guy is as like as not to come up empty. Not only miss the tackle but air. Even the non mobile guys do the duckunders and step asides.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by L-Jam3 »

HaulCitgo wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 9:20 am And you can damn near leave a free runner with a bunch of qbs. Roll the other direction and maybe fast enough to leave the back side or even so long as he's facing the rusher that guy is as like as not to come up empty. Not only miss the tackle but air. Even the non mobile guys do the duckunders and step asides.
Getting it out too slowly is easily the reason that QBs in the past were more likely to get sacked. It isn't a QB's running speed that deals with avoiding pressure, but rather the more minute footwork. That reminds me of one of my favorite stats: Dan Marino, who had a total of 87 rushing yards for his career, went over a calendar year between getting sacked.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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L-Jam3 wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 9:47 am
HaulCitgo wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 9:20 am And you can damn near leave a free runner with a bunch of qbs. Roll the other direction and maybe fast enough to leave the back side or even so long as he's facing the rusher that guy is as like as not to come up empty. Not only miss the tackle but air. Even the non mobile guys do the duckunders and step asides.
Getting it out too slowly is easily the reason that QBs in the past were more likely to get sacked. It isn't a QB's running speed that deals with avoiding pressure, but rather the more minute footwork. That reminds me of one of my favorite stats: Dan Marino, who had a total of 87 rushing yards for his career, went over a calendar year between getting sacked.
Shoot he hasn't been sacked in over 20 years!
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by L-Jam3 »

A_B wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 9:49 am
L-Jam3 wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 9:47 am
HaulCitgo wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 9:20 am And you can damn near leave a free runner with a bunch of qbs. Roll the other direction and maybe fast enough to leave the back side or even so long as he's facing the rusher that guy is as like as not to come up empty. Not only miss the tackle but air. Even the non mobile guys do the duckunders and step asides.
Getting it out too slowly is easily the reason that QBs in the past were more likely to get sacked. It isn't a QB's running speed that deals with avoiding pressure, but rather the more minute footwork. That reminds me of one of my favorite stats: Dan Marino, who had a total of 87 rushing yards for his career, went over a calendar year between getting sacked.
Shoot he hasn't been sacked in over 20 years!

I think you’re forgetting that one time when Boomer Esiason totally blitzed his ass:

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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Pittsburgh Steelers' Dwayne Haskins injured by wife, who faces a domestic violence charge


Got to be a strong woman -
Haskins, according to reports, said he remembered getting into a fight with his wife but didn't remember getting punched in the mouth. In searching the room, officers found a piece of tooth and blood, per reports.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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Quite a bit there, but "renewing their vows" after four months is pretty good indicator of a straight line from A to B.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

I've seen a few women that might out a beatdown on an NFL guy. One lady in particular stopped her car crossways directly in front of mine at the cook out drive through. I said not shit as her DT ass stared directly at me smoking a preroll. Why an NFL guy might marry that?
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

Answer: Haskins-Gondrezick played basketball at Michigan State University. She is the daughter of Grant Gondrezick and Lisa Harvey-Gondrezick, and her sister Kysre was the fourth overall pick in last year’s WNBA draft, playing for the Indiana Fever.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d »

Nah, I checked this. 5'9 guard.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by HaulCitgo »

Would. Not. Fuck. With. WNBA chicks.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

Post by mister d »

Oh, for sure. I just meant you wouldn't look at his wife and think "yup, I get what happened here". The opposite if anything.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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mister d wrote: Thu Jul 15, 2021 1:22 pm Quite a bit there, but "renewing their vows" after four months is pretty good indicator of a straight line from A to B.
Yeah. Not a sign of a stable relationship.

Especially in Vegas.

I'll never forget being in Bally's in the early 90s and seeing a wedding party leaving the chapel area. Bride was so pissed that she was propped up by a couple of groomsmen.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread

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