Not so funny real life Capt Trips thread

[sancarlos]

[DaveInSeattle]

[sancarlos]

Quite sure the words slush fund are nowhere to be found in the proposed legislation.

Of course nobody would use the term "slush fund". To be more precise:

...because the Treasury Department would have broad discretion over where the money would go. President Trump already has said he wants the money to be used to rescue the cruise ship and hotel industries, making his preferences clear, but at a press conference on Sunday refused to say whether his own hotel properties would apply for the funding.
Asked if he'll take bailout money for his own properties, Trump says 'let's just see what happens'
“There’s too much money with no oversight,” Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.) told reporters Sunday.

Link

To paraphrase Willie Shakes, "A slush fund under any other name, is still a slush fund."

[Pruitt]

I hope not, for Giff and TT’s sakes.

Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: 'I'm all in' on risking my health to lift social distancing guidelines for economic boost

"No one reached out to me and said, 'As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?' And if that is the exchange, I'm all in," Patrick told Fox News.
He added, "My messages is that let's get back to work, let's get back to living. Let's be smart about it and those of us who are 70+, we'll take care of ourselves. But don't sacrifice the country."

[Johnnie]

Texas is determined to turn blue one way or another.

[Joe K]

Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: 'I'm all in' on risking my health to lift social distancing guidelines for economic boost

"No one reached out to me and said, 'As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?' And if that is the exchange, I'm all in," Patrick told Fox News.
He added, "My messages is that let's get back to work, let's get back to living. Let's be smart about it and those of us who are 70+, we'll take care of ourselves. But don't sacrifice the country."

This is the simplest explanation for these types of reckless statements from GOP officials.

[A_B]

Ontario ordering all non-essential businesses to close (unless staff is working from home).

Essential businesses include grocery stores, drug stores, liquor and beer stores. And obviously the government's weed delivery is still running.

Phew!

I've seen some things on twitter that liquor stores stay open for a number of reasons. One of which is so they don't have a bunch of alkies going into wtihdrawal so bad they go to the hospital and strangely, that it somehow keeps domestic violence lower, when generally speaking it's also a big cause of that, too.

[Pruitt]

Ontario ordering all non-essential businesses to close (unless staff is working from home).

Essential businesses include grocery stores, drug stores, liquor and beer stores. And obviously the government's weed delivery is still running.

Phew!

I've seen some things on twitter that liquor stores stay open for a number of reasons. One of which is so they don't have a bunch of alkies going into wtihdrawal so bad they go to the hospital and strangely, that it somehow keeps domestic violence lower, when generally speaking it's also a big cause of that, too.

Also - our stores are government owned so tax dollars as well.

[Joe K]

Meanwhile, as Mitch McConnell fights to preserve the ability of businesses to fire employees...



Democratic socialism sure sounds like a shitty system.

[degenerasian]

It's not a shitty system. It would just be impossible to implement in the US in it's current state.

[GoodKarma]

Denver issuing stay at home order at 5:00 pm tomorrow. Closings include liquor stores and recreational pot dispensaries, deemed non-essential.

liquor, hookers and blow should be essential

What's funny is this lasted exactly three hours due to the run on liquor & pot shops. Now they can stay open if they practice "extreme social distancing" ...whatever that means.

[DSafetyGuy]

"No one reached out to me and said, 'As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?' And if that is the exchange, I'm all in," Patrick told Fox News.
He added, "My messages is that let's get back to work, let's get back to living. Let's be smart about it and those of us who are 70+, we'll take care of ourselves. But don't sacrifice the country."

Interesting positioning, as based on their viewer demographics, Fox News is telling their audience to die to save capitalism.

[DaveInSeattle]

I hope not, for Giff and TT’s sakes.

Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: 'I'm all in' on risking my health to lift social distancing guidelines for economic boost

"No one reached out to me and said, 'As a senior citizen, are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the America that all America loves for your children and grandchildren?' And if that is the exchange, I'm all in," Patrick told Fox News.
He added, "My messages is that let's get back to work, let's get back to living. Let's be smart about it and those of us who are 70+, we'll take care of ourselves. But don't sacrifice the country."

The GOP: Pro-life up until it threatens their wealth, then its 'lets throw Grandma into the wood chipper!'

[mister d]

Since Fox News is going all in, how long before the hosts ask for the station or themselves personally to be added to wills?

[brian]

Even for Republicans, we reached “some old people are just going to have to die” in record speed.

[mister d]

My joke made it one (1) hour before I saw a real version:

[GoodKarma]

Line outside one of my local dispensaries...strong social distance game going on:

[sancarlos]

Even for Republicans, we reached “some old people are just going to have to die” in record speed.

My daughter said some kids have referred to Covid-19 as “the Boomer Remover”.

[Pruitt]

Since Fox News is going all in, how long before the hosts ask for the station or themselves personally to be added to wills?

I could see the Trump campaign or an affiliated PAC doing this. Not joking...

[Johnnie]

My fiance, who is holding down the house until I get back, had plans this weekend to drive to see friends of ours in Arizona.

(I know, I know... I'm not thrilled either. But other than pumping gas on the trip she'd be going from one quarantine location to another. Still though. I'm not thrilled.)

The Governor of NM has declared a stay at home order this morning unless it's for essential things. So instead of my fiance going "Well, shit. Going out of state is probably not the best idea right now." she is instead mad by this development and literally texted "Well it’s because people are dumb and haven’t been doing that. So they had to issue an order to make people do that."

And I'm holding back, from half a world away, from saying exactly what you'd expect me to say right now.

[Pruitt]

My fiance, who is holding down the house until I get back, had plans this weekend to drive to see friends of ours in Arizona.

(I know, I know... I'm not thrilled either. But other than pumping gas on the trip she'd be going from one quarantine location to another. Still though. I'm not thrilled.)

The Governor of NM has declared a stay at home order this morning unless it's for essential things. So instead of my fiance going "Well, shit. Going out of state is probably not the best idea right now." she is instead mad by this development and literally texted "Well it’s because people are dumb and haven’t been doing that. So they had to issue an order to make people do that."

And I'm holding back, from half a world away, from saying exactly what you'd expect me to say right now.

You will make a good husband.

[Johnnie]

Heh. Thanks.

Also, this was literally a page from our e-pamphlet here on deployment. I've already sent it to Zero Blog Thirty.

When you see it...

[brian]

I've somehow been mostly on the money with a lot of my predictions, so I'm just going to go on record and say shit gets BAD in the United States by next week. I mean, bad. Like calling in the National Guard to NYC and possibly some other cities bad.

[DaveInSeattle]

I've somehow been mostly on the money with a lot of my predictions, so I'm just going to go on record and say shit gets BAD in the United States by next week. I mean, bad. Like calling in the National Guard to NYC and possibly some other cities bad.

What? Didn't you hear the dear leader say its going to all be over by Easter?

[tennbengal]

National guard already here in baltimore. Has been for a few days now. Setting up a field hospital downtown I think and otherwise being here to assist with whatever. So I assume worry over social order is in place among the powers that be.

[P.D.X.]

I've heard the idea that Trump won't do anything as long as hot spots are in blue states so he can make them the fall guys when it eventually starts to devastate red areas as well. ("THEY failed at containing it.'") And then today:

Usually we’ll have 50 governors that will call it the same time. I think we are doing very well. But it’s a two-way street. They have to treat us well, also. They can’t say, “Oh, gee, we should get this, we should get that.” We’re doing a great job. Like in New York where we’re building, as I said, four hospitals, four medical centers. We’re literally building hospitals and medical centers. And then I hear that there’s a problem with ventilators. Well we sent them ventilators. And they could have had 15,000 or 16,000 – all they had to do was order them two years ago. But they decided not to do it. They can’t blame us for that.

[brian]

I've heard the idea that Trump won't do anything as long as hot spots are in blue states so he can make them the fall guys when it eventually starts to devastate red areas as well. ("THEY failed at containing it.'") And then today

That's scarily possible and could possibly work.

[tennbengal]

I mean, ok, except for what is happening in Texas, and florida, and Louisiana...

[P.D.X.]

I mean, ok, except for what is happening in Texas, and florida, and Louisiana...

Sure but it's not about facts. It's the Chinese virus that showed up in NY and Washington and spread from there.

[brian]

I'm taking some solace that most GOP governors seem to be saying there's no way that anything's going to be lifted by Easter.

[Johnnie]

I just want someone (not a comedian) to call him swear words on regular TV. That's all I want. If there was ever a reason to cross that threshold, people dying in your state might be it.

[Pruitt]

National guard already here in baltimore. Has been for a few days now. Setting up a field hospital downtown I think and otherwise being here to assist with whatever. So I assume worry over social order is in place among the powers that be.

A field hospital in the middle of an American city in the 21st century... that is horrifying.

[Johnnie]

National guard already here in baltimore. Has been for a few days now. Setting up a field hospital downtown I think and otherwise being here to assist with whatever. So I assume worry over social order is in place among the powers that be.

A field hospital in the middle of an American city in the 21st century... that is horrifying.

Hurricane Katrina had the horrible visuals. A field hospital is just an annex that displays hope. At least there's a sense of hope in seeing a red cross.

[sancarlos]

I'm taking some solace that most GOP governors seem to be saying there's no way that anything's going to be lifted by Easter.

The Texas lieutenant governor sure seems to be on board.

[brian]

I'm taking some solace that most GOP governors seem to be saying there's no way that anything's going to be lifted by Easter.

The Texas lieutenant governor sure seems to be on board.

The death toll coming in Texas will easily put the screws to the theory that opening the country back up is a good idea. If my parents lived in Texas I would no joke consider trying to get them to go somewhere else for awhile.

[Johnnie]

My deployment got extended until Memorial Day at least.

And here are some truth tellers:

COVID-19 threat isn’t going to end anytime soon say Pentagon leaders

Just insane how the president is the main naysayer in this insanity and that there are people just having to ignore his bullshit to keep doing their jobs.

[govmentchedda]

I just leased my old townhouse to a couple, starting 4/1. She's currently in Maine, he's currently stationed overseas. Sounds like it's going to be quite a while before they're actually in the unit.

[Giff]

I'm taking some solace that most GOP governors seem to be saying there's no way that anything's going to be lifted by Easter.

The Texas lieutenant governor sure seems to be on board.

The death toll coming in Texas will easily put the screws to the theory that opening the country back up is a good idea. If my parents lived in Texas I would no joke consider trying to get them to go somewhere else for awhile.

I will say I was pleasantly surprised about how serious Sun City (one of the biggest retirement communities in the US) and the residents (at least the ones on my parents street) have responded to this given how much they all love Trump and Fox News. They shutdown everything two weeks ago (all gatherings, gathering areas, gyms, fucking golf courses) and no one they deal with has left the community. There's been a lot of support from the community in Georgetown to get necessities to them in a safe manner.

[brian]

That is good to hear and hope it continues while Trump pressures the various states to open things back up. The only good news is that Trump has zero authority to do so and it's up to the various governors.

[DSafetyGuy]

Saw at the A/V Club that Prince Charles has tested positive.