Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

When your house in the San Fernando Valley isn't nice enough to rent out for porn shoots, you rent it out for movies like this.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

Cap ordering some serious violations of human rights here.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

Totally worth it for the "undercover cop" joke.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

That "undercover cop" line was almost clever.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

Was there a time when the vest of a three-piece suit was intentionally that short?
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Those trees with the spongy bark that peels off are definitely a Southern Cal thing.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

B.B. King taking the time to apply his gunshot makeup.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

I wanna do coke one day with whoever chorioographed these gunfights.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

They saved he TV for last, put two bullet holes in it, then there was only one when Samurai Cop got his man.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

It's almost endearing how clever I'll bet the screenwriter thought that bulletproof vest twist was.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

This movie holds the record for guys stuffing their guns into their waistbands.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

Sweet fuckin' Geo Tracker.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

Frank just killed one of the guys from Color Me Badd.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

How pathetic to not even pay for squibs?
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

RIP world's oldest man with a mullet.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by rass »

Suzuki is Japanese for “shitty Jeep”
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

brian wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:46 pm Sweet fuckin' Geo Tracker.
Suzuki Sidekick! (Although I also thought is was a Tracker on first sight.)
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

Pretty sweet how roughed up the blade of that sword is.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

So this is where I realize what I said earlier but as soon as I posted I realized this was the final faceoff because two whites, duh.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

That was like the lead-up to a sword fight between two four-year-olds.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

This swordfight has the same frame rate as a Buster KEaton movie.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

These scenes with the woman's wig are awesome.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

Just two white American dudes who look like linebackers operating by the code of the samurai.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Ric Ocasek could sue the compser here.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

The heavy committing seppeku is actually a pretty bad-ass ending if they had done anything to set it up in the previous 90 minutes.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

He's kissing her neck like a seventh-grader thinks adults kiss before they do it.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

So there's the worst movie ever made. Thanks for letting me host. Hope I didn't waste a couple hours of your time.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

I am enjoying how many crew members had the self-respect to be credited by their first names only.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

I had thought this before honestly, but I'm gonna insist in the fall we do Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai which is legit, no sarcasm in like my 20 or 30 favorite movies of all-time.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by rass »

So did the red head show up for like one shot at the end or was I posting here and miss her getting killed?
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm So there's the worst movie ever made. Thanks for letting me host. Hope I didn't waste a couple hours of your time.
Prime says 4.5 stars out of 5.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

But democracy reigns supreme again, gentlemen. That was a good choice. May we be so blessed in November.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

brian wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm I had thought this before honestly, but I'm gonna insist in the fall we do Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai which is legit, no sarcasm in like my 20 or 30 favorite movies of all-time.
That's probably far too good of a movie for this.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

rass wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm So did the red head show up for like one shot at the end or was I posting here and miss her getting killed?
She showed up for a little more than one shot to get killed.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

DSafetyGuy wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:56 pm
brian wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:55 pm I had thought this before honestly, but I'm gonna insist in the fall we do Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai which is legit, no sarcasm in like my 20 or 30 favorite movies of all-time.
That's probably far too good of a movie for this.
I do agree of course, but yet I think it could lend itself to a good discussion also?
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

(That said, it's probably better not to do movies you're better off actually watching the whole time instead of watching and typing.)
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by rass »

Amazon has some amazing “customers who watched” recommendations. Terror in Beverly Hills with Frank Stallone is on my watch list now
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by brian »

rass wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:58 pm Amazon has some amazing “customers who watched” recommendations. Terror in Beverly Hills with Frank Stallone is on my watch list now
I've found some incredible fucked up shit on Amazon that way. I have some recommendations if we start a thread of fucked up shit on Amazon Prime.
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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Red Letter Media did an interview with the main actor a few years back and he's pretty cool and self-aware. A lot of background info about the movie if you're still fascinated by what you saw:

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Re: Swamp Quarantine Movie Night - Samurai Cop (1991) , Thursday, July 30, 9 PM ET

Post by DSafetyGuy »

brian wrote: Thu Jul 30, 2020 9:58 pm (That said, it's probably better not to do movies you're better off actually watching the whole time instead of watching and typing.)
That's the thing for me. It's one thing to watch and type if you've seen the movie many times ("Jackie Brown" worked well this way for most, if not all of us in that thread), but it's hard to pull off paying attention to a serious movie and keep up with the thread.

Feel free to bring back the Forrest Whitaker avatar, though.
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