Swamp Wrestling Federation 2021 - Gunpowder vs. GoodKarma (Featuring BFJ and DSafe on the mic!)

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by mister d »

cerrano wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:59 am
A_B wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:57 am How is there no Bernie Bros. tag team?!?!?

Joe K with mister d, who's with Steve?
Hope Obama starts making some calls soon to get the ref to just hand Steve the win ; )
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by rass »

mister d wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 3:02 pm
cerrano wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:59 am
A_B wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 8:57 am How is there no Bernie Bros. tag team?!?!?

Joe K with mister d, who's with Steve?
Hope Obama starts making some calls soon to get the ref to just hand Steve the win ; )
MY GOD! WHAT? What? Is that Obama's music?

Or am I in a Starbucks...
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation - CHAMPIONSHIP EXTRAVAGANZA

Post by Pruitt »

Perfect neutral site...

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

MATCH 1 - BSF21 VS. DUFF

Just in time for Thanksgiving, the Swamp Wrestling Federation returns after a long hiatus. And our first match should be a cracker—BSF21 and duff square off for the coveted Indiana Championship Belt! Winner gets an autographed photo of Rick Mears and, like, some corn or whatever.

No love lost between these two, who were already in rare form in the lead-up to the match:
duff wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 1:11 pm I am staking claim to the title of best Hoosier on this site. I am grabbing a switch off the willow tree and walking down the aisle to whup your ass back to Nobletucky. You can claim you are living hard in Fishers or Westfield or wherever the fuck your lily-white ass is living now days. But we all know you are just some no good northern Hamilton County trash eater.
BSF21 wrote: Thu Nov 19, 2020 12:50 pm Everybody gather round and come get a look at this fuckin' region rat ass hat. Motherfucker better pick up his Tippecanoe and Portage his way the hell out of here coming in with that weak doughnut county bullshit. Can't even figure out a time zone and he's out here trying to come at me with a willow switch. I'm about to come down hard on your 65 ass with a big Crooked Stick. Indy might be Naptown but you're gonna be lying in the Dunes if you come weak again at the Nora Nightmare son.
The SWF is pleased to announce that Gunpowder's golden lungs have recovered from the 'rona just in time to grace us with his always-exciting commentary. And now for the opening bell...

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Pruitt »

Gunpowder deserves a raise.

Not only was that a closely fought "groin-centric" match where both fighters left it all in the rhombus, but the commentary was pure gold.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by BSF21 »

I was clearly not prepared to get hit in the dick more than 12 times. 12 is my limit.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF

"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.

"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by rass »

I'm sure this is because we watched MI:2 last night, but BSF seemed to have the full repertoire of crazy Ethan Hunt kicks and flips and air-steps at his disposal and duff still managed to win. Impressive.

And GPJ, I was thrown off when you called it a "washing cycle." Was expecting to hear "warshing."


Thanks guys.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Gunpowder »

rass wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 9:04 am I'm sure this is because we watched MI:2 last night, but BSF seemed to have the full repertoire of crazy Ethan Hunt kicks and flips and air-steps at his disposal and duff still managed to win. Impressive.

And GPJ, I was thrown off when you called it a "washing cycle." Was expecting to hear "warshing."


Thanks guys.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by duff »

Welcome back everyone to SWF TorchObserverNews.

What a start to the return of Swamp Wrestling Federation. Duff and BSF deserve huge kudos for putting on a five-star match (it would have been 6-star had it been held at the Wigwam).

BSF started out strong and with some vicious knees to Duff's cranium. The Nora Nightmare has some very dangerous feet. The kicks were on point for most of the night and looked devastating. This Young Lion put on quite the show, but his offense was not enough for the thick skull of Duff. Duff took the punishment and then dished it back like Thanksgiving day leftovers. And the main course was cock!

Duff is a force to be reckoned with in SWF. He can withstand a metric ton of punishment. He has no quit. This man would not submit to any of the multiple submission moves that BSF attempted. Ankle lock? Nope. Arm bar? Nope. Guillotine choke? Nope. With that type of pain tolerance, no one is going to be taking that Indiana Championship Belt from him anytime soon.

Once again. Just one hell of a match. Both these athletes left it all out there in the squared circle. Both have bright futures in the SWF. All you other wrestlers better step up your game if you ever want to match what these two Hoosier heroes have brought.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by BSF21 »

duff wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:33 am Welcome back everyone to SWF TorchObserverNews.

What a start to the return of Swamp Wrestling Federation. Duff and BSF deserve huge kudos for putting on a five-star match (it would have been 6-star had it been held at the Wigwam).

BSF started out strong and with some vicious knees to Duff's cranium. The Nora Nightmare has some very dangerous feet. The kicks were on point for most of the night and looked devastating. This Young Lion put on quite the show, but his offense was not enough for the thick skull of Duff. Duff took the punishment and then dished it back like Thanksgiving day leftovers. And the main course was cock!

Duff is a force to be reckoned with in SWF. He can withstand a metric ton of punishment. He has no quit. This man would not submit to any of the multiple submission moves that BSF attempted. Ankle lock? Nope. Arm bar? Nope. Guillotine choke? Nope. With that type of pain tolerance, no one is going to be taking that Indiana Championship Belt from him anytime soon.

Once again. Just one hell of a match. Both these athletes left it all out there in the squared circle. Both have bright futures in the SWF. All you other wrestlers better step up your game if you ever want to match what these two Hoosier heroes have brought.
Uh oh. I feel a rivalry-turned-tag team coming on.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF

"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.

"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

So here's how I'm thinking this could work if there's enough interest to keep it going. It will be a more informal approach:
  • Will do around one match every week or so, depending on interest.
  • If you want to be featured, call out an intended opponent in this thread (will give priority where it's mutual).
  • To challenge the overall Swamp champion, you will need to win one other match first.
  • Happy to have Gunpowder as the announcer based on his availability and desire, but guest announcers are welcome to volunteer as well.

Current champions:
  • Overall Swamp Champion: A_B
  • Tag Team Champions: Perfect 10 (TT and BFJ)
  • Swamp Canadian Champion: (vacant)
  • Swamp Indiana Champion: (see above)
  • Swamp Jewish Champion: (vacant)
  • Swamp New Jersey Champion: (vacant)
  • (other titles TBD)
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Ryan »

I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY WORTHY JEWISH CHAMPION BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME!

(Vignettes hyping my arrival include never atoning for shit, eating pretty much whatever food I want, and throwing the neighborhood Jewish newspaper that someone clearly sends us BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME di-wreck-a-ly into the trash.). My entrance music is O Tannenbaum.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by sancarlos »

Ryan wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 1:03 pm I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY WORTHY JEWISH CHAMPION BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME!

(Vignettes hyping my arrival include never atoning for shit, eating pretty much whatever food I want, and throwing the neighborhood Jewish newspaper that someone clearly sends us BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME di-wreck-a-ly into the trash.). My entrance music is O Tannenbaum.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by sancarlos »

Ryan wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 1:03 pm I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY WORTHY JEWISH CHAMPION BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME!

(Vignettes hyping my arrival include never atoning for shit, eating pretty much whatever food I want, and throwing the neighborhood Jewish newspaper that someone clearly sends us BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME di-wreck-a-ly into the trash.). My entrance music is O Tannenbaum.
My wife gets the some of the same mail as you, for the same mistaken reason.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Pruitt »

Ryan wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 1:03 pm I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY WORTHY JEWISH CHAMPION BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME!

(Vignettes hyping my arrival include never atoning for shit, eating pretty much whatever food I want, and throwing the neighborhood Jewish newspaper that someone clearly sends us BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME di-wreck-a-ly into the trash.). My entrance music is O Tannenbaum.
Bring that pseudo-Jewish stuff around here and I'll go kabbalah on your shrimp-smelling ass.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Ryan wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 1:03 pm I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY WORTHY JEWISH CHAMPION BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME!

(Vignettes hyping my arrival include never atoning for shit, eating pretty much whatever food I want, and throwing the neighborhood Jewish newspaper that someone clearly sends us BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME di-wreck-a-ly into the trash.). My entrance music is O Tannenbaum.
I'm honestly trying to parse this...are you saying you are Jewish (and thus eligible for the belt) or that you are with Bronto in the "not Jewish but incorrectly assumed to be based on the name" club?
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by mister d »

Only knowing the wrestling name for about five different moves makes the commentary that much funnier.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Ryan »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 4:18 pm
Ryan wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 1:03 pm I AM CLEARLY THE ONLY WORTHY JEWISH CHAMPION BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME!

(Vignettes hyping my arrival include never atoning for shit, eating pretty much whatever food I want, and throwing the neighborhood Jewish newspaper that someone clearly sends us BASED SOLELY ON MY LAST NAME di-wreck-a-ly into the trash.). My entrance music is O Tannenbaum.
I'm honestly trying to parse this...are you saying you are Jewish (and thus eligible for the belt) or that you are with Bronto in the "not Jewish but incorrectly assumed to be based on the name" club?
I'm not Jewish but definitely eligible for the belt because I think this might be all for pretend.
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by wlu_lax6 »

Just remember that wrestling pants are very tight and folks will know if you are lying about being eligible for the Jewish belt (which if you are old is probably white faux leather for your real blue plants and matching teal loafers).
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by A_B »

Ryan and Bronto as the tag team the Goy Boys.
You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Ryan »

It's this vibe:

Image
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The

holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Gunpowder »

mister d wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 4:23 pm Only knowing the wrestling name for about five different moves makes the commentary that much funnier.
It's been so long - I just kept drawing blanks for common moves. The network went through a long and rigorous hiring process.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by bfj »

I’d love to be the Gorilla Monsoon to GPJ’s Jesse The Body if he needs a partner.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

bfj wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 11:10 pm I’d love to be the Gorilla Monsoon to GPJ’s Jesse The Body if he needs a partner.
This would be awesome if you guys are able to coordinate it.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Gunpowder »

Not sure how we would pull it off - anybody have any free software they've used for something like this? Podcasting type stuff?
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by A_B »

You can record a zoom and just pull the audio I think. Which is to say I think the audio file is saved as well as a video file. Maybe have to have paid account not sure.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

I'm thinking you'd need a way to watch the video together while recording an audio file that captures you both. If you can get that audio, I can merge it to the video.

In addition to Zoom, maybe MS Teams would work?

e: Is there anyone here who knows how you guys did the old Swamp podcasts? If you could do that while watching the video together, that would give me what I need.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Gunpowder »

Getting the audio is the part I don't have a solution for.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by A_B »

Gunpowder wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 9:48 am Getting the audio is the part I don't have a solution for.
Again, I think that when you record a zoom it saves to files to your account. the full video with audio and also just an audio file. Or at least there is a setting to make it do that.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by bfj »

A_B wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 9:54 am
Gunpowder wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 9:48 am Getting the audio is the part I don't have a solution for.
Again, I think that when you record a zoom it saves to files to your account. the full video with audio and also just an audio file. Or at least there is a setting to make it do that.
Correct. When I record our Zoom workshops, it downloads the video and the audio files separately.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by bfj »

In fact, If we all get on a Zoom call, and record it, you could share the video as we do audio over it. Then it would render a video with audio over top of it and you wouldn't need to edit it at all.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

bfj wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 11:03 am In fact, If we all get on a Zoom call, and record it, you could share the video as we do audio over it. Then it would render a video with audio over top of it and you wouldn't need to edit it at all.
This could work, but really anything that gets me the audio of both of you together is fine. I can put it over a clean copy of the video to take care of any hiccups or quality issues.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by bfj »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 11:14 am
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 11:03 am In fact, If we all get on a Zoom call, and record it, you could share the video as we do audio over it. Then it would render a video with audio over top of it and you wouldn't need to edit it at all.
This could work, but really anything that gets me the audio of both of you together is fine. I can put it over a clean copy of the video to take care of any hiccups or quality issues.
I know that would work on a shared Zoom call. I have an account we could use.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Gunpowder »

bfj wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 11:19 am
Johnny Carwash wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 11:14 am
bfj wrote: Tue Nov 24, 2020 11:03 am In fact, If we all get on a Zoom call, and record it, you could share the video as we do audio over it. Then it would render a video with audio over top of it and you wouldn't need to edit it at all.
This could work, but really anything that gets me the audio of both of you together is fine. I can put it over a clean copy of the video to take care of any hiccups or quality issues.
I know that would work on a shared Zoom call. I have an account we could use.
Take the wheel, BFJ. I'm usually available most of the time, whenever works best.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by BSF21 »

I'd love to get a crack at calling the action too. This broadcast needs a Jim Ross to GPJ's Jerry The King. Not sure how funny I could be in one take though.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF

"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

I should have the next match ready for you guys within the next few days.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Just bumping to say that suggested names for Swampers' signature moves are more than welcome.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by rass »

Johnny Carwash wrote: Fri Nov 27, 2020 9:31 am Just bumping to say that suggested names for Swampers' signature moves are more than welcome.
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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - BSF21 vs. Duff (Featuring Gunpowder on the Mic!)

Post by Pruitt »

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Re: Swamp Wrestling Federation 2020 - Giff vs. TT2.0 (Featuring Gunpowder and BFJ!)

Post by Johnny Carwash »

MATCH 2 - GIFF VS. TT

Time for our next match—it's the Battle of Houston! But then again, you should have known it was coming from the sounds of the trash cans. This is a rematch of an overlooked entry from our first tournament a few years back, but this time the stakes are higher as the winner will be regarded as the undisputed Swamp Alpha Texan.

The Astrodome has been revitalized and is packed to the rafters for the occasion. Today's match is brought to you by Torchy's Tacos, Lone Star beer, gun racks, open beverage containers, and a complete lack of zoning regulations.

I caught up with the contestants on their way to the ring. First up, here's Giff:
Giff wrote: First off, I'm OK, thanks for asking, asshole. Now I've got to admit I might be a little rusty for this match, seeing as I haven't engaged in strenuous physical activity with just one other person for a while. But really, what is there to worry about? If I'm gonna get dropped in my grand return to one-on-one matchups, it certainly isn't going to be by some Texas City punk with a body mass index of 3. Come at me, you skinny bitch, my defense is impervious when it really counts, just like James Harden's. (awkward pause) What?
And now for TT's take:
TT2.0 wrote: so what makes giff think he belongs on a major wrestling circuit? if you ask me they should call giff r kelly because he belongs in the minors. he must feel like a big deal out there in the suburbs where you have to walk a whole two blocks to find a strip club or poker room. i have to say, i'm feeling pretty good now that i haven't taken painkillers in two years, but i know i'm still 15 years behind miss elizabeth...what, too soon? also by the way, fuck chad burns.
And if you thought you couldn't be more psyched, I'm pleased to announce that bfj is joining Gunpowder in the announcer's booth for this round! Take it away, guys:



Duff's Review:
[+] spoiler
It has been awhile since you all had the opportunity to peruse the masterful analysis of the SWF by yours truly.

After being thrilled by the amazing match between myself and BSF, I needed to take a deserved break from watching the trash that the rest of you call wrestling.

So let's start with Match #2. The Lone Star battle between Giff and TT. What a snooze fest. Very little action. These two were gassed from the get go. They were both blown up just walking down the ramp. I guess with no crowd in the Astrodome, Giff didn't have any trash can lids to let him know TT's next moves. TT was able to get two Sweet Tea Shuffles onto Giff, the last securing the pinfall. TT is much more suited for his tagteam action with BFJ. Giff would be better in a threesome. Actually, Giff would be better just staying in the corner during a six-person tag watching the action and being taught how it is done.

Going to have to give this match a rating of "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!".
Last edited by Johnny Carwash on Fri Feb 12, 2021 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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