2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by rass »

A safe space for conversation and reviews of the 2020 slate of Hallmark holiday (yeah, Christmas) movies. Feel free to suggest other categories for the movies and to weigh in with your own thoughts!


Up first, On the 12th Date of Christmas

Not to be confused with the 2011 Amy Smart/M-PG vehicle, 12 Dates of Christmas

Fair-warning, I've only seen the first half or so of this one, over the course of a couple of different nights, after stopping while channel-flipping. Though that matches my usual exposure to these movies since we rarely if ever sit down intending to watch one of these, so I guess that works.

Trailer:


Cable guide synopsis: "Two seemingly incompatible game designers in Chicago team up to create a romantic city-wide scavenger hunt to promote a hotel chain."

Location: Chicago, IL

Realism of location: Seems to be establishing shots only (the Bean, downtown rivers) but maybe someone who knows Chicago better than I do can tell if it was actually filmed there (doubt it)

Primary setting: a bustling scavenger hunt game design firm in downtown Chicago, with all of the tech company trappings that movies love

Relationship categorization: professional competitors

New Love or Rekindled Love: New Love

How the couple meets: forced into a business meeting together when the female lead has to take over for the male lead's partner when said partner's wife goes into labor

Female lead physical profile: tall, willowy brunette, long hair (Caucasian)

Female lead signature look: short but business-appropriate skirt, sweater (though she looked great in the final scenes at a formal party)

Female lead personality profile: small-town girl trying to make it in the city, very competent but lacks self-confidence

Female lead confidant(s): sassy female best friend of similar age, grandmother (video calls only?)

Male lead physical profile: bearded, slight/skinny, brunette hair helmet (Caucasian)

Male lead signature look: sweater/cardigan over a collared shirt

Male lead personality profile: hyper-competent/confident, thinks he works best alone, long-time Chicagoan

Male lead confidant(s): sister

Admitedly shallow rating of the appropriateness of the relationship based on purely physical terms: she's way too good-looking for him

Snow: yes

Quality/realism of snow: didn't seem obviously bad, though the shots I saw were of it snowing and not of snow-covered ground

Diversity: male boss of the bustling scavenger hunt game design firm is Black, as is the no-nonsense female manager of the hotel that hires the bustling scavenger hunt game design firm to create a scavenger hunt to promote her hotel, Asian co-worker has a conversation with the female lead to establishing the work-related competency and lack of self-confidence of the female lead

Precocious child: yes (male lead's niece)

Pets: n/a

Baking: yes, Christmas cookies (melt-aways, grandma's recipe)

Source of conflict/break-up after the leads fall for each other: TBD (guessing that it's professional, as they both seem to be angling for the position of Lead Designer at the bustling scavenger hunt game design firm)

Open mouth final kiss: no!

General observations: I enjoyed the consistency of the design work put in on the office setting in terms of the logo and signs, giant orange @'s abound

Recently deceased relative: (not sure, the male lead and his sister mention their father but can't recall if he is dead or away)

Alcoholic consumption: social drinking at a large party

Obviously fake cups/mugs of hot liquid: Yes, the female lead brings the male lead coffee when they first have to work together, and she buys him "the best hot coffee in Chicago" at a street fair later in the movie

Snowball fight: no
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Subscribe. This is going to be like the NFL draft where I read everything SL puts out and pay no attention to the actual product.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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I'd willing watch Tucker Rat Fucker Carlson every night in order to destroy the Hallmark network.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Let me ax you a question... Can we throw in stuff like the burgeoning Netflix holiday movie empire?

Last night, in an effort to distract and woo my wife, we watched Operation Christmas Drop.

I'm not going to get into the whole thing, but it was based in Guam and she is very cute.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Mrs. Rass: Let's watch a hallmark movie!

Rass: I'll get my notebook!
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Nonlinear FC wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 10:40 am Let me ax you a question... Can we throw in stuff like the burgeoning Netflix holiday movie empire?

Last night, in an effort to distract and woo my wife, we watched Operation Christmas Drop.

I'm not going to get into the whole thing, but it was based in Guam and she is very cute.
Go for it. Just keep that lackluster Lifetime BS outta here.

2019 Netflix holiday movies I remember watching:

Holiday in the Wild (R. Lowe and K. Davis)
Let it Snow (actually kind of enjoyed this one)
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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That's what I'm saying... The Netflix jams have the potential for a half-decent ride. Totally agree on Lifetime, pure garbage.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Can't disparage an entire segment. At least fall asleep on a couple to remember why lifetime sucks. The principle is the same. Fall in love for Xmas. Family disagreements resolved for xmas. The kid learns to like the new guy/girl mom/dad is fucking for xmas. Add a tree, carolers, warm drinks and fake snow. Christmas!
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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HaulCitgo wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 11:23 am Can't disparage an entire segment. At least fall asleep on a couple to remember why lifetime sucks. The principle is the same. Fall in love for Xmas. Family disagreements resolved for xmas. The kid learns to like the new guy/girl mom/dad is fucking for xmas. Add a tree, carolers, warm drinks and fake snow. Christmas!
I feel like the production values on the Lifetime movies are a big step down from Hallmark (and Netflix, where the output looks as good if not better than the HM movies, and the cash is available to pull bigger stars sometimes).
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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My wife defaults to TV intended for african american audiences so I'm very familiar.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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BSF21 wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 10:36 am I'd be willing to watch Tucker Rat Fucker Carlson every night in order to destroy the Hallmark network.
I'd be willing to watch the Hallmark network every night in order to destroy Fox news and its cabal of scumbags.

(I'm very happy my wife has no interest in Hallmark/Lifetime/etc. channels. But, she is a sucker for anything with a Brit accent.)
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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I hope you watch tomorrow night's premiere of "Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater", written by a friend of ours (she married my friend Swifty about 15 years ago).

Also, almost all Hallmark movies are shot in the Vancouver area.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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rass - another category or box to check "Did one of the two protagonist's wife/parent recently died."

At least on Hallmark, that's almost a gimme.

Oh, another one I like to play: "Did anyone imbibe some alcohol." This is, again, a very Hallmark specific category.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 12:44 pm I hope you watch tomorrow night's premiere of "Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater", written by a friend of ours (she married my friend Swifty about 15 years ago).
Oh man, sorry to blow up your sure to have been triumphant post in the Brushes... thread.

The weather is too nice this weekend to promise I'll watch the premiere tomorrow, but that is now a guaranteed watch at some point.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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rass wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:41 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 12:44 pm I hope you watch tomorrow night's premiere of "Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater", written by a friend of ours (she married my friend Swifty about 15 years ago).
Oh man, sorry to blow up your sure to have been triumphant post in the Brushes... thread.

The weather is too nice this weekend to promise I'll watch the premiere tomorrow, but that is now a guaranteed watch at some point.
I just asked my wife if she was going to record it, so if you want to do Swamp Movie Night - Hallmark Channel Edition, let me know.

Having known Nina since before the Swamp, I don't think I was going to mention her in the Brushes thread. Now, if she happened to gateway me to her friend Danica McKellar, I would call that post-worthy.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:45 pm I just asked my wife if she was going to record it, so if you want to do Swamp Movie Night - Hallmark Channel Edition, let me know.
holy shit...
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:45 pm
rass wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:41 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 12:44 pm I hope you watch tomorrow night's premiere of "Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater", written by a friend of ours (she married my friend Swifty about 15 years ago).
Oh man, sorry to blow up your sure to have been triumphant post in the Brushes... thread.

The weather is too nice this weekend to promise I'll watch the premiere tomorrow, but that is now a guaranteed watch at some point.
I just asked my wife if she was going to record it, so if you want to do Swamp Movie Night - Hallmark Channel Edition, let me know.

Having known Nina since before the Swamp, I don't think I was going to mention her in the Brushes thread. Now, if she happened to gateway me to her friend Danica McKellar, I would call that post-worthy.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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rass wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:51 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:45 pm I just asked my wife if she was going to record it, so if you want to do Swamp Movie Night - Hallmark Channel Edition, let me know.
holy shit...
So, what I'm reading is I need to interrupt her while she's watching whatever movie is on now to ask her to record it.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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I set it to record right after my last post in here.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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rass wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 3:58 pm I set it to record right after my last post in here.
After my last post, I was relating our exchange. After I said "ask her to record it", she laughed and said she already was.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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By the way, I feel this movie club should be a Zoom (or whichever) than posting in a thread. Way less need to pay attention to what's going on in the movie.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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duff wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 2:13 pmIf you ever meet Winnie Cooper, make sure to mention that awesome guy you talk to on the internet, met once, text about wrestling and tell her how cool he is.
Duff Amold?
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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HaulCitgo wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 11:32 am My wife defaults to TV intended for african american audiences so I'm very familiar.
We watched a chunk of a non-HM movie last year (I can't remember what channel or find a listing for it via google), with a primarily African American cast. It definitely had something to do with cookies, and from what I saw almost the entirety of the movie was shot on one of two sets: the kitchen of the bakery or the store-front (cash register area) of the bakery.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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mister d wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 4:07 pm
duff wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 2:13 pmIf you ever meet Winnie Cooper, make sure to mention that awesome guy you talk to on the internet, met once, text about wrestling and tell her how cool he is.
Duff Amold?
Possibly.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Premiering on Sunday 11/8, we have Christmas with the Darlings

I only saw the last hour or so of this one, so TBD answers could be updated if I catch the first half at some point.

Trailer:


Cable guide synopsis: "A woman helps a charming man look after his orphaned nieces and nephew during the holidays."

Location: Not sure. Seems New England-y?

Realism of location: Massive rich person house and bustling downtown street scenes were the extent of what I saw

Primary setting: I guess the massive rich person house?

Relationship categorization: Driven executive assistant/lawyer and slacker brother to the CEO she assists

New Love or Rekindled Love: New Love (I think)

How the couple meets: TBD, but seems like the two of them somehow end up taking primary responsibility for watching the orphaned kids

Female lead physical profile: brunette, long hair, initial comp was Courtney Cox but as the movie went on I feel that was a bad take (Caucasian)

Female lead signature look: blouse, business-y slacks (though her dress at the cocktail party was pretty nice)

Female lead personality profile: focused, driven, but maybe forgot what is meaningful to her in her drive to succeed?

Female lead confidant(s): female best friend

Male lead physical profile: slight/skinny, little bit of facial scruff/shadow but no beard, pretty normal white dude hair (Caucasian)

Male lead signature look: henley!

Male lead personality profile: slacker rich dude who I'm guessing was content to live off his family's money while his brother ran the company until the death of a sibling/helping to raise kids/love of a good woman makes him want to make more of himself

Male lead confidant(s): TBD

Admitedly shallow rating of the appropriateness of the relationship based on purely physical terms: My wife thought the female lead was very pretty. They seemed a pretty appropriate match.

Snow: yes

Quality/realism of snow: Wish they would invest in some fx to add after the fact cold breath to outdoor scenes, but not bad. Multiple scenes with snow covered ground.

Diversity: The female lead's best friend is a lesbian, and her significant other attends a cocktail party with her.

Precocious child: Yes, orhpaned neices and nephew.

Pets: n/a

Baking: yes, housekeeper bakes something

Source of conflict/break-up after the leads fall for each other: male lead pushes his CEO brother for a larger role in the family company and promptly gets shipped out to Taiwan just before Christmas. He decides to stand up for himself and not leave, and returns to the massive rich person house at the same time the female lead decides to be impulsive for once in her life and chase after him

Open mouth final kiss: No

Recently deceased relative: the kids are orphaned, so yeah (exact circumstances TBD)

Alcoholic consumption: there was a cocktail party that took place at the massive rich person house, so yes, but whether there is a scene where characters talk it out while drinking - TBD

General observations: The rich family has a housekeeper and was going to send the kids away to boarding school. So they have an actual Range Rover to drive around in the snow, but no driver (slacker bro drove himself back and forth to the airport). Female lead drove what appeared to be a Subaru Outback with the logos/emblems removed.


new categories I added!

Obviously fake cups/mugs of hot liquid: Yes, movie ends with a character delivering a tray full of mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream. No one actually drinks and the whipped cream doesn't move at all.

Snowball fight: YES
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Netflix’s Holidate features a knockoff Hemsworth, might be raunchier than some want from a holiday movie (though they get the cum joke in early so everyone knows what they’re watching) and there is an appearance by an actor late in the movie that made me feel pretty old, but my wife and I both enjoyed it.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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gonna need a full review of sweet holiday as it was apparently shot in KC
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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Brontoburglar wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 9:27 am gonna need a full review of sweet holiday as it was apparently shot in KC
Got a link for the movie? "sweet holiday" generates way too much chaff from google.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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maybe I got the name wrong? I can't find it either now. I'll keep looking.

meanwhile, Vanessa Lachey is in the Lifetime movie that premieres Sunday!
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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A admittedly shallow review of Christmas She Wrote based solely on a commercial:

Get that old man away from Winnie Cooper!!!
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:45 pmI just asked my wife if she was going to record it, so if you want to do Swamp Movie Night - Hallmark Channel Edition, let me know.
How did we not think to do this when it was announced that the dirty Ravens ruined TNF?
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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rass wrote: Thu Dec 03, 2020 5:42 pm
DSafetyGuy wrote: Fri Nov 06, 2020 1:45 pmI just asked my wife if she was going to record it, so if you want to do Swamp Movie Night - Hallmark Channel Edition, let me know.
How did we not think to do this when it was announced that the dirty Ravens ruined TNF?
You know, one of the recent times this thread got bumped, I checked our DVR and found my wife had deleted it. Obviously, they'll air it again (or it's probably available on demand), so if you do want to do it at some point over the holidays, say so.

I know I would be in. And having just had the kids being around the house for 12 straight days (they go to school on Thurs-Fri, so they did not go last week) and thinking their holiday break will have them home for the same number of days, I'll be ready for some drinking and snarking at that time.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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In!

I also watched another 1/3 or so of a movie across a couple of nights and owe a review. Maybe tomorrow, can’t do that shit on my phone.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

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The Christmas House

Once again, I saw maybe the first 1/2 hour of this one and the last 20 minutes or so. I'll be making some assumptions (presumptions???) about what happens in-between.

Trailer:


Cable guide synopsis: "Working through some difficult decisions, a mother and father summon their two grown sons home for the holidays."

I think that sort of under sells it. We're dealing with three couples here! The standard hetero male/female Hallmark movie type of relationship, an older couple secretly on the rocks, and a super happy together same-sex couple. The older couple is played by Sharon Lawrence (who I recognized but wasn't sure from where, looking her up I guess NYPD Blue?) and Treat Williams.

Location: a small town in Connecticut

Realism of location: WTF does Connecticut look like? Some Christmas-y downtown scenes and suburban homes.

Primary setting: Much of the action takes place on the front lawn/street of the parents' house. The female love interest lives next door, conveniently enough.

Relationship categorization: Unrequited childhood crush / older couple growing apart / perfectly happy couple with no conflicts

New Love or Rekindled Love: Primary couple - Rekindled! They grew up living next door to each other. The male lead was a magician when he was a kid, and while he never got up the nerve to ask her out he did ask her to be his performing partner.

Secondary/older couple - Rekindled, maybe? It turns out the mom and dad are selling the house and plan on separating (amicably, but still) after the holidays so they asked their sons to come home for one last big celebration in the family home. I got that much but never learned exactly why they are splitting, unless they were just sick of each other. I'm also not sure whether they planned on staying together by the end or not, but I assume so.

The little brother and his partner seem completely happy and stable compared to everyone else. Very snuggly with each other.

(the next 10 categories apply only to the standard hetero male/female Hallmark movie type couple)

How the couple meets: The male lead is an actor on a TV legal drama ("Handsome Justice"). He comes home for the holidays when his parents decide to restart an old tradition of over-decorating their house (inside and out) and hosting tours of their home. The female lead still lives next door and is friendly with the parents.

Female lead physical profile: brunette, long hair, looks much better with it styled all to one side of her head(?), I usually like women in cute winter hats but she was wearing one in her intro and it didn't work for her, voice is pretty deep (Caucasian)

Female lead signature look: pretty casual, sweaters and jeans? (sparkly formal gown for her performance in the triumphant magic show)

Female lead personality profile: single-mother, relatively successful realtor (but not the most successful in town as we learn when the male lead attempts to use his "social media influence" to help her business)

Female lead confidant(s): not sure that there is one with 3 couples to juggle

Male lead physical profile: pretty standard (Caucasian) dude

Male lead signature look: pretty casual in general, full magician getup at the triumphant magic show

Male lead personality profile: relatively successful actor (so an actor playing an actor on TV playing a lawyer on TV), nice enough guy but seems slightly put out when someone doesn't recognize him

Male lead confidant(s): again not sure that there is one with 3 couples to juggle, but I wouldn't be surprised if he has a heart to heart with his dad or brother at some point. Or maybe the female lead's son while teaching the kid magic?

Admittedly shallow rating of the appropriateness of the relationship based on purely physical terms: fine, I guess

Snow: yes

Quality/realism of snow: would need to watch more closely

Diversity: The little brother is gay and his partner (not sure if they were actually married?) is prominently featured. They're repeatedly shown being affectionate with each other and the fact that they are a same-sex couple is never mentioned such that they're treated like any other couple.

Precocious child: Oh for sure. The realtor's son, who learns magic from the actor playing an actor so he can perform at the titular Christmas House.

Pets: n/a

Baking: wasn't watching for this but the mom must have made some fucking cookies, she was a secretly sad and overcompensating for it by going all out at Christmas with her two grown sons home for the holidays

Source of conflict/break-up after the leads fall for each other: We learn early on that the realtor love interest is handling the sale of the parents' house, which surprises the actor playing an actor but he gets over it. I missed the middle of the movie, but it seems like everyone was expecting him to leave town and head back to Hollywood. Instead he secretly pays cash for his parents' house, and his recently canceled legal drama somehow gets a spinoff set in NYC so he can now live in CT and chastely kiss the realtor ever after.

Open mouth final kiss: Yes for the younger hetero couple, no for the mom and dad and no for the little brother and his partner.

General observations: The opening courtroom scene and fake commercials that the actor playing an actor acted in were fun, I guess. The actor playing an actor's stage name as a HS magician was "Majestic Mike", which hahaha why not "Magic Mike"?

Recently deceased relative: I don't think so

Alcoholic consumption: TBD

Obviously fake cups/mugs of hot liquid: Shit, wasn't watching for this either but I'm almost positive the actor playing an actor bring the realtor love interest a coffee at her office at some point. Her desk is positioned right in a huge window in a storefront like she's a Christmas display. Weird.

Snowball fight: I'm pretty sure snowballs are thrown
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by DSafetyGuy »

rass wrote: Thu Dec 03, 2020 9:32 pm In!

I also watched another 1/3 or so of a movie across a couple of nights and owe a review. Maybe tomorrow, can’t do that shit on my phone.
All right. I think the best plan is to pick a movie and DVR it ahead of time for a Zoom discussion during playback (I'm not overly concerned with "missing things" as I was for our original Swamp Movie Nights).
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The Sybian
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by The Sybian »

Not Hallmark or a Christmas movie, but Lifetime and Mario Lopez is close enough.

I think this may actually be real! A 15 minute "mini movie". WTF?


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rass
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by rass »

Hot 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie Take: Bethany Joy Lenz (Five Star Christmas) is thus far the best looking female protagonist of the 2020 Hallmark Christmas movie season
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by DSafetyGuy »

rass wrote: Fri Dec 11, 2020 8:33 pm Hot 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie Take: Bethany Joy Lenz (Five Star Christmas) is thus far the best looking female protagonist of the 2020 Hallmark Christmas movie season
I feel Mia Kirshner could compete, but, from the promotional materials, I doubt the costumes in tonight's debut of "Love, Lights, Hanukkah" will help her campaign.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by rass »

Been a long time since the first couple of seasons of 24...
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: 2020 Hallmark Christmas Movie reviews

Post by A_B »

It’s not hallmark but bad moms Christmas was fun.
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