The soiled jorts
Swamp Rimworld 2021: New Poll
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
...and tapir has pulled into a tie with red panda.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
New extended trailer with more after the opening crawl. Hope you guys like it.
Should have the first updates from the actual gameplay in the next few days.
Should have the first updates from the actual gameplay in the next few days.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
Gonna be awesome! I love these.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
Thanks man, can't wait
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
you genuinely rule, Carwash.
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
That was hilarious. These threads are always awesome.
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Colony Pet
If that red-headed fella is indeed Chedda, I hope we get continuously stoned Chedda at a Rays game vibes only.
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Alright, here are our first five. If you've posted in this thread, you should show up eventually.
New poll up to predict who bites it first.
tennbengal was the sole survivor of an attack that wiped out his family's farm as a child, leaving him to fend for himself in the ruins. The skills he honed through these hardships were later put to use as an elite member of a paramilitary group, where he specialized in infiltration and intelligence gathering. He is skilled with all forms of weaponry, and experience growing his own food gives him a robust knowledge of agriculture. He prefers to work at night.
BFJ returns once again as our resident vomit-inspired artist. A bookish youth, he was later incarcerated for unspecified heinous crimes for which he denies involvement. He used modified cutlery to tunnel his way out of a brutal penal colony, reflecting a burgeoning talent for shaping rock. He is a fast learner but refuses to have anything to do with caring for others, and has what is described as a "chemical interest."
govmentchedda spent his early years working in the burn unit of an infirmary, making him our most skilled medical practitioner, but leaving him with a phobia of fire. He became fascinated with antique machinery, giving him our group's highest intellectual and crafting skills. He has a great memory but a poor immune system.
Sabo grew up on a remote planet where he often explored the wreckage of crashed warships. He later became a ranger and tracker for hire, giving him comprehensive knowledge of wildlife that makes him our most skilled animal handler. He is a fast runner but his heavy breathing creeps people out. There really isn't anything more interesting about him.
The Sybian spent most of his childhood in a coma, but the experience ironically helped his social skills by making people feel sorry for him. He went on to develop his social skills even more through his work as a bartender, and is also a good cook. He is described as so exceptionally good-looking that "people are attracted to him even before he opens his mouth."
New poll up to predict who bites it first.
tennbengal was the sole survivor of an attack that wiped out his family's farm as a child, leaving him to fend for himself in the ruins. The skills he honed through these hardships were later put to use as an elite member of a paramilitary group, where he specialized in infiltration and intelligence gathering. He is skilled with all forms of weaponry, and experience growing his own food gives him a robust knowledge of agriculture. He prefers to work at night.
BFJ returns once again as our resident vomit-inspired artist. A bookish youth, he was later incarcerated for unspecified heinous crimes for which he denies involvement. He used modified cutlery to tunnel his way out of a brutal penal colony, reflecting a burgeoning talent for shaping rock. He is a fast learner but refuses to have anything to do with caring for others, and has what is described as a "chemical interest."
govmentchedda spent his early years working in the burn unit of an infirmary, making him our most skilled medical practitioner, but leaving him with a phobia of fire. He became fascinated with antique machinery, giving him our group's highest intellectual and crafting skills. He has a great memory but a poor immune system.
Sabo grew up on a remote planet where he often explored the wreckage of crashed warships. He later became a ranger and tracker for hire, giving him comprehensive knowledge of wildlife that makes him our most skilled animal handler. He is a fast runner but his heavy breathing creeps people out. There really isn't anything more interesting about him.
The Sybian spent most of his childhood in a coma, but the experience ironically helped his social skills by making people feel sorry for him. He went on to develop his social skills even more through his work as a bartender, and is also a good cook. He is described as so exceptionally good-looking that "people are attracted to him even before he opens his mouth."
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Using "twilts" as the map seed code, here is our planet:
We voted for a temperate forest, so I found this spot here (light blue house) in the foothills of a mountain range near a river that empties into the Barracuda Shoulder Sea. The location has mild weather and a year-round growing season, so the elements shouldn't be too hard on us. We're in relatively close proximity to a number of different factions, some potentially friendly, some not.
We voted for a temperate forest, so I found this spot here (light blue house) in the foothills of a mountain range near a river that empties into the Barracuda Shoulder Sea. The location has mild weather and a year-round growing season, so the elements shouldn't be too hard on us. We're in relatively close proximity to a number of different factions, some potentially friendly, some not.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Here are the factions with which we'll be sharing the world, a diverse group:
- Canadians: Mysterious foreigners from the frozen northern wastelands who eat ketchup flavored potato chips and play some weird game with sticks and Egg McMuffins.
- Dirty Hippies: Tree-hugging druggie deadbeats, but friendly and will trade with us.
- The Iogola Pact: Hostile primitive tribe, but can potentially be reasoned with if we make an effort (but probably won't).
- The Alogove Kinship: Like the above, but permanently hostile.
- Space Taliban: The Taliban, but in space.
- The Crossbow Monkeys: Pirates who are also cannibals.
- Empire of Karens: The Big Bad of the story.
- Republic of Balcaga: The "good" empire, who will give us quests in exchange for awards and noble titles.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
And here's our plot of land. A healthy supply of trees but not excessively dense, with some resource-rich rock outcroppings that we can incorporate into our base layout. The area is littered with various ruins and wrecked vehicles from a past conflict.
Note: I cast a tie-breaking vote for red panda as our colony pet, and he was given the name Houdini. The tapir and its prehensile dick can be in the next go-round.
Coming soon: Actual gameplay!
Note: I cast a tie-breaking vote for red panda as our colony pet, and he was given the name Houdini. The tapir and its prehensile dick can be in the next go-round.
Coming soon: Actual gameplay!
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Who invited The Ohioan??
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
There's a hole inside that front pouch.
On that note, Syb is kind of just showing his junk there, right?
On that note, Syb is kind of just showing his junk there, right?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Holy shit, that trailer was amazing. My HS GF was named Karen. I'm definitely the first to go.
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
So good. We will take in stragglers and exiles again, right?
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Also, should we pre-emptively attack the near-by hostile factions or is that a bad idea in this game play?
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Yes. That's how we'll get most people past this first group.tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:42 am So good. We will take in stragglers and exiles again, right?
We can do it, and sometimes there will be quests specifically asking us to do so, but it's usually a good idea to have a secure enough settlement going before sending a group out.tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:42 am Also, should we pre-emptively attack the near-by hostile factions or is that a bad idea in this game play?
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Makes sense. After a few times watching you play this out and having raiders fuck our shit up, was curious if we can pre-empt that. Probably just opens a new can of worms tho (retaliations etc).Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:46 amYes. That's how we'll get most people past this first group.tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:42 am So good. We will take in stragglers and exiles again, right?
We can do it, and sometimes there will be quests specifically asking us to do so, but it's usually a good idea to have a secure enough settlement going before sending a group out.tennbengal wrote: ↑Thu Sep 09, 2021 8:42 am Also, should we pre-emptively attack the near-by hostile factions or is that a bad idea in this game play?
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Looking forward to this. Thanks for doing it, Carwash.
Bandwagon fan of the 2023 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
That all checks out.Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Thu Sep 09, 2021 6:59 am
The Sybian spent most of his childhood in a coma, but the experience ironically helped his social skills by making people feel sorry for him. He went on to develop his social skills even more through his work as a bartender, and is also a good cook. He is described as so exceptionally good-looking that "people are attracted to him even before he opens his mouth."
Did I leave my camera on? Oh, you meant the avatar.Rass wrote:On that note, Syb is kind of just showing his junk there, right?
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
I've missed this. Thanks Carwash.
You can lead a horse to fish, but you can't fish out a horse.
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
I have a large supply of Syrup of Ipecac!
BFJ is the town wizard who runs a magic shop. He also has a golem that he has trained to attack anti-Semites.
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
So here's a closer look at our immediate landing area. The large rock formations will give us a good basis for a defensive perimeter as we start building out our base. We'll tear down those ruins to give us some room and salvage building supplies. And those are alpacas, in case you were curious.
We assign the available weapons based on skills. Bengal gets the rifle, Syb the revolver, chedda the knife, and BFJ and Sabo will make do with some rudimentary stone clubs.
If you're keeping score, bengal is the first to vomit from hibernation after climbing out of his pod. This is followed by Sabo vomiting on our MREs. Thanks. Looks like BFJ's not going to let him change the subject.
We assign the available weapons based on skills. Bengal gets the rifle, Syb the revolver, chedda the knife, and BFJ and Sabo will make do with some rudimentary stone clubs.
If you're keeping score, bengal is the first to vomit from hibernation after climbing out of his pod. This is followed by Sabo vomiting on our MREs. Thanks. Looks like BFJ's not going to let him change the subject.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
- Johnny Carwash
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
After a couple days, we have a rudimentary shelter in place that at least gives us a roof over our heads and somewhere to store our supplies.
A while later we get our first taste of danger as a local rat goes insane and attacks the nearest person, who happens to be Syb. Syb has the revolver but can't hit the broad side of a barn as the rat scurries toward him.
bengal and Sabo head over to bash the rat to death, but not before Syb suffers numerous lacerations and bruises. His wounds aren't serious, but learning our lesson from previous colonies, we get him immediate medical attention so he won't die of infection.
We get our first visit from another faction as a couple of the Dirty Hippies pass by. As a welcome give they leave us a hat made from elephant leather. So much for the "living in harmony with nature" bullshit, I guess. chedda spontaneously puts it on, so I'll let him keep it.
A while later we get our first taste of danger as a local rat goes insane and attacks the nearest person, who happens to be Syb. Syb has the revolver but can't hit the broad side of a barn as the rat scurries toward him.
bengal and Sabo head over to bash the rat to death, but not before Syb suffers numerous lacerations and bruises. His wounds aren't serious, but learning our lesson from previous colonies, we get him immediate medical attention so he won't die of infection.
We get our first visit from another faction as a couple of the Dirty Hippies pass by. As a welcome give they leave us a hat made from elephant leather. So much for the "living in harmony with nature" bullshit, I guess. chedda spontaneously puts it on, so I'll let him keep it.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Before long we've built our base out a little more, with a proper kitchen and dining room and a few workshops up and running, along with planting our first crops of potatoes, rice, and corn. The one drawback of our location is that the nearest really fertile soil is a ways away from the center of our base, but we should manage.
We're nearing the end of spring when a transport pod crashes in the distance, with an injured passenger. Hey look, it's BSF21!
BSF21's overprotective parents confined him largely to home throughout his youth, leading him to develop zero social skills. As an adult he rebelled by becoming a highly skilled construction worker. He really isn't good at jack shit else, though. He is highly intelligent to a degree that makes him more susceptible to mental breakdowns. He is good looking but has an annoying voice.
We rescue BSF and give him first aid, after which he immediately announces that he will reward us for our hospitality by permanently joining our colony. I mean, he could have asked if we wanted him first.
Speaking of mental breakdowns, we get our first one as bengal starts wandering in a daze, upset that he is a night owl forced to work during the day. We'll adjust his schedule to accommodate him. Happy now, Batman?
Meanwhile, Sabo is putting his animal handling skills to use by training Houdini basic obedience and eventually to attack on command. Sabo's the expert, so I guess I won't question his methods:
Will be back with more after the weekend.
We're nearing the end of spring when a transport pod crashes in the distance, with an injured passenger. Hey look, it's BSF21!
BSF21's overprotective parents confined him largely to home throughout his youth, leading him to develop zero social skills. As an adult he rebelled by becoming a highly skilled construction worker. He really isn't good at jack shit else, though. He is highly intelligent to a degree that makes him more susceptible to mental breakdowns. He is good looking but has an annoying voice.
We rescue BSF and give him first aid, after which he immediately announces that he will reward us for our hospitality by permanently joining our colony. I mean, he could have asked if we wanted him first.
Speaking of mental breakdowns, we get our first one as bengal starts wandering in a daze, upset that he is a night owl forced to work during the day. We'll adjust his schedule to accommodate him. Happy now, Batman?
Meanwhile, Sabo is putting his animal handling skills to use by training Houdini basic obedience and eventually to attack on command. Sabo's the expert, so I guess I won't question his methods:
Will be back with more after the weekend.
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Vomiting whilst on a trip is on brand. Motion sickness for life.
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
He is described as so exceptionally good-looking that "people are attracted to him even before he opens his mouth."
And they both let their genitals peek out of the bottom of their shirts.He is good looking but has an annoying voice.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
You don't need to open your mouth to attract people when your pants are already open.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Isn't good at jack shit else? Annoying voice? Prone to mental breakdowns?
Who'd you talk to to get this character info, my wife?
Who'd you talk to to get this character info, my wife?
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Does BSF have, like, the dreads-under-beanie thing going on?
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Looks like a baseball hat to me. Appreciate it not being red.
Dances with Wolves (1) - BSF
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
"This place was rockin'," said BSF21.
"There is nothing ever uncommon about BSF21."
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
lol keepin' it irie
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021 - New Poll: Who dies first?
Fanniebug wrote: P.S. rass! Dont write me again, dude! You're in ignore list!
Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Why do I look like Teddy Roosevelt in that picture?
THERE’S NOWT WRONG WITH GALA LUNCHEONS, LAD!
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
Wilford Brimley at best.
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
BSF doesn't look thrilled with the conversation.
An honest to God cult of personality - formed around a failed steak salesman.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
The hippies that left us chedda's elephant hat also left a pair of glasses which you put on.
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Re: Swamp Rimworld 2021
I must've had first dibs.Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Sat Sep 11, 2021 12:24 pmThe hippies that left us chedda's elephant hat also left a pair of glasses which you put on.
Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.