Swamp Rimworld 2021: New Poll

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Oct 11, 2021 11:20 am

What did they skeletonize up in that first screen cap?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Oct 11, 2021 11:43 am

rass wrote: ↑Mon Oct 11, 2021 11:20 am What did they skeletonize up in that first screen cap?

It's a muffalo (fictional animal in the game) skeleton that was already there, but yeah it's fun to think that was the cats' doing.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Mon Oct 11, 2021 11:57 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Oct 11, 2021 11:14 am

What it feels like at my house at feeding time with the new kittens

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Oct 11, 2021 12:14 pm

I was going to say "You carry an assault rifle when feeding kittens?" but remembered you live in Florida.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Mon Oct 11, 2021 12:29 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Oct 11, 2021 12:14 pm I was going to say "You carry an assault rifle when feeding kittens?" but remembered you live in Florida.

There's two of them! And they're over 1 lb. each!

Post by **Sabo** » Mon Oct 11, 2021 6:13 pm

A_B wrote: ↑Mon Oct 11, 2021 9:06 amThanks, Sabes.

Any time, buddy.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 am

After all the action going on in the previous update, thought I'd start today with a brief interlude covering the ongoing saga of bapo!

Well, it looks like word of bapo's dietary preferences has gotten around, and several are dropping hints that it may be an issue. Pruitt seems particularly fixated on bringing it up.

I didn't notice before that in addition to being a cannibal, bapo is also an alcoholic, and starts to go into withdrawal since we don't have any in our base as of yet. He tries to compensate by smoking pot until he passes out.

bapo then takes it upon himself to change his look to the below, which can best be described as "Superstar Billy Graham at a pride parade."

Apropos of nothing, here are some ducks having a three-way.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 am

Back to the main story. Now that things have calmed down, we hold funerals for Gunpowder and wlu_lax. Sybian officiates the ceremony and seems to be throwing some shade at bengal for being late:

Our friends the Canadians contact us with a request. A Canadian bartender named MaxWebster has recently come under fire for writing vicious insults about the leader of the Space Taliban, who in return has ordered his death. The Canadians are asking us to protect Max at our base for seven days until this blows over. Or maybe "blows over" wasn't the right way to put it, as the Taliban will be fully aware of his whereabouts and send a large raiding party against us. It's a tall order, but who are we to refuse a trusted NATO ally?

MaxWebster arrives in his shuttle and immediately proceeds to do a line of coke off a pocket mirror. Accompanying him are his bodyguards travzilla and TheHumanComa. MaxWebster must survive the week to successfully complete this mission, but the bodyguards are expendable. This should be interesting.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 am

Sure enough, a few days later the Space Taliban arrive in force, about 20 or so of them. They set up a position a ways away from our base and set up some mortars to begin a bombardment.

Two sides can play at this game, though, and BFJ mans our own mortar to engage in an artillery duel. It's not the most accurate weapon, but eventually BFJ lands a direct hit, causing several casualties. Take that, Dweeb!

The Taliban are undeterred, however, and continue to lob shells at our base, a few coming too close for comfort. It's best if we move out now and take the fight to them. We send out the majority of our crew in a sweeping movement to attack the Taliban from the rear, but they preempt us by leaving their position to meet us head-on. travzilla and TheHumanComa are "volunteered" to take point and observe the heaviest of the enemy fire. Eventually they're downed and the rest of our squad is engaged in a desperate fight across the woods. chedda is hit in the kidney and drops, followed by Pruitt who sustains several wounds, and then rass has his left eye shot out. Our poise and skill eventually swing the battle in our favor, and the Taliban begin to drop one by one. Finally, BFJ launches a final mortar round that sets the Taliban's Tomoko on fire, and the remainder decide they've had enough and flee.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:09 am

It's a bloody mess in the medical bay after the battle, but we should all pull through, a few missing organs notwithstanding.

travzilla, riddled with gunshot wounds, is on his way to the medical ward when he decides to throw a tantrum because he's hungry. He strips naked and wanders outside in the rain until he collapses and dies of blood loss. We'll bury him with the others.

Pruitt, sick of being a glutton for punishment in his own right, throws a tantrum of his own, roaming around and beating on the already-dead Taliban corpses.

With the mission complete, a shuttle arrives to pick up MaxWebster and take him home. No truth to the rumor that Pruitt was seen running for the door and pleading for them to take him back as well.

Well, that was something. Hopefully it's a while before the Canadians ask us for a favor—sorry, favour—again.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:23 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 am Apropos of nothing, here are some ducks having a three-way.

Epic pipers

Sabo said a word about the differences between shorebirds and waterfowl to rass

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:49 am

I didn't even realize I appeared until I see that I'm already dead.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:55 am

I can't survive for a little while they fix me a new liver? Weak indeed.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:37 am

Gunpowder wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:55 am I can't survive for a little while they fix me a new liver? Weak indeed.

It was an insta-kill. Rare, but they happen.

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:47 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 amand then rass has his left eye shot out.

Welcome to the club, rass.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:54 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:37 am
Gunpowder wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:55 am I can't survive for a little while they fix me a new liver? Weak indeed.
It was an insta-kill. Rare, but they happen.

I guess you can't live without a liver, right? LOLZ

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 9:41 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 am which can best be described as "Superstar Billy Graham at a pride parade."

This is so, so good.

That's a pretty typical Travzilla appearance. I get really excited when he shows up. Then, a minute later, he's gone.

here are some ducks having a three-way.

MOAR!!!!!

MaxWebster · Post by **MaxWebster** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 10:42 am

I....

??

I think I may have accidentally clicked into this thread in the past but it was video game related (yes?) so I saw myself out but now I find out I'm doing lines off a mirror and trav is my bodyguard ...

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:07 am

DSafetyGuy wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 8:47 am
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 7:08 amand then rass has his left eye shot out.
Welcome to the club, rass.

We had made a bionic eye earlier and were preparing to install it in DSafe when we had some down time. DSafe still has first dibs, but we could flip for it. (Or make another one.)

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:08 am

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 10:42 am I....

??

I think I may have accidentally clicked into this thread in the past but it was video game related (yes?) so I saw myself out but now I find out I'm doing lines off a mirror and trav is my bodyguard ...

Didn't know you were following the thread. I typically use other Swampers for "cameos" when the opportunity arises in addition to the main group here.

MaxWebster · Post by **MaxWebster** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:12 am

i love it. make me more of a villain. or kill me off - or both!

i have no idea what Rimworld is but now i'm curious as hell :D

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:15 am

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:12 am i have no idea what Rimworld is but now i'm curious as hell :D

Max, go back to the beginning and read this thread. It's on the short list of greatest Swamp threads ever. So is Carwash's wrestling-game thread.

MaxWebster · Post by **MaxWebster** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 12:00 pm

fk me. i literally just finished page 1 and apologize to everyone and myself for not reading this (and watching that video).

ok stop bugging me, i have 7 more pages to read on the government's dime...

bapo! wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:15 am
MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 11:12 am i have no idea what Rimworld is but now i'm curious as hell :D
Max, go back to the beginning and read this thread. It's on the short list of greatest Swamp threads ever. So is Carwash's wrestling-game thread.

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 12:16 pm

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 12:00 pm ok stop bugging me, i have 7 more pages to read on the government's dime...

Just remembered that this thread isn't connected to the original thread, started way back in the halcyon days of 2016. So, if you want to be a completist, here you go.

MaxWebster · Post by **MaxWebster** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 12:56 pm

this last hour was absolute gold.

Now I'm hooked

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Oct 13, 2021 3:50 pm

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Oct 13, 2021 10:42 am I....

??

I think I may have accidentally clicked into this thread in the past but it was video game related (yes?) so I saw myself out but now I find out I'm doing lines off a mirror and trav is my bodyguard ...

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 7:15 am

Just some bits and pieces today after a busy week.

So first off, this happened. New poll up to see what you guys want to do.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 12:00 pm

So here's what our base looks like as of right now. I'm probably going to need to expand it soon. Also open to suggestions for making it more defensible, if anyone has military engineering knowledge.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:17 pm

Make peace! We are already down quite a few....limbs.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:54 pm

Dude... they're Karens

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:10 pm

But what TB is thinking is that there is a fine line between Karen and cougar.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:11 pm

rass wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:10 pm But what TB is thinking is that there is a fine line between Karen and cougar.

BSF is not thinking this.

Post by **brian** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:14 pm

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 2:54 pm Dude... they're Karens

I’d rather take on the (space) Taliban than Karens.

Post by **Sabo** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:15 pm

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 12:00 pm So here's what our base looks like as of right now. I'm probably going to need to expand it soon. Also open to suggestions for making it more defensible, if anyone has military engineering knowledge.

We’re gonna need a bigger moat.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 4:13 pm

Sabo wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:15 pm
Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 12:00 pm So here's what our base looks like as of right now. I'm probably going to need to expand it soon. Also open to suggestions for making it more defensible, if anyone has military engineering knowledge.
We’re gonna need a bigger moat.

With flames! A flaming moat!

And if the Karens are going to attack, maybe we should build a massive humidifier. Women like that hate when their hair gets all frizzed.

duff · Post by **duff** » Fri Oct 15, 2021 5:29 pm

Do we have the autobong yet?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Sat Oct 16, 2021 12:22 pm

So a few things:

chedda has just been promoted to the rank of Knight and some combination of the following apparel. If you're checking, let me know your preference and whether you'd like some sort of Lighting/ManU/etc. theme and I'll see what I can do:

- top hat
- beret
- cape
- formal shirt (basically the Puffy Shirt from Seinfeld)
- dress shirt and tie
- suit jacket

Sabo wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 3:15 pm We’re gonna need a bigger moat.

Moats aren't in the default game, but are available through mods I think. I'll see how practical this might be.

duff wrote: ↑Fri Oct 15, 2021 5:29 pm Do we have the autobong yet?

The faction ideology doesn't have the "high life" trait that enables it, but I might see what is possible.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Sat Oct 16, 2021 12:57 pm

Surprise me.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Sat Oct 16, 2021 1:13 pm

Beret with puffy shirt

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Oct 18, 2021 7:36 am

So as a reward for chedda's (really our) continued service to the Republic, he is granted the new rank of Knight. The Republic dignitaries arrive for the bestowing ceremony in the former "danger room" we've converted into a ceremonial hall.

With chedda's new rank comes the expectation of new vestments that indicate his noble rank. Check out this fancy fucker:

AB call dibs on chedda's old elephant-tail cap. Meanwhile, we've implanted DSafe's bionic eye. rass is up next when we get a chance.

Well this is something new for us. A massive space battle between multiple factions breaks out in the orbit above us, sending ship debris plummeting to the surface in our area. This includes people in transport pods, some dead and some alive, with some familiar names among the survivors. From the images below you can see that it's raining past Swampers (and also actual rain).

We rescue them from the wreckage and send them on their way after a short stay in our medical ward.

Should we negotiate with the Empire of Karens?