CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

[EnochRoot]

I just got an email from someone in marketing asking me if I'd fly out to Seattle in a few weeks to present at a user group meeting for 15-20 minutes. Yeah, that would be a super efficient use of my time!

Would they be covering expenses? Could you throw in an extra day or two to hit the slopes?

Mt Rainier? Damn. Shirley's got game.

[Giff]

I just got an email from someone in marketing asking me if I'd fly out to Seattle in a few weeks to present at a user group meeting for 15-20 minutes. Yeah, that would be a super efficient use of my time!

Would they be covering expenses? Could you throw in an extra day or two to hit the slopes?

That's what I was thinking (well maybe not the skiing part). No Teams meetings in the air either!

[wlu_lax6]

I just got an email from someone in marketing asking me if I'd fly out to Seattle in a few weeks to present at a user group meeting for 15-20 minutes. Yeah, that would be a super efficient use of my time!

Would they be covering expenses? Could you throw in an extra day or two to hit the slopes?

That's what I was thinking (well maybe not the skiing part). No Teams meetings in the air either!

There is a calculation for uninterrupted/non-connected travel work time. Amazing the productivity when on on zoom/teams/swamp/etc

[Shirley]

I just got an email from someone in marketing asking me if I'd fly out to Seattle in a few weeks to present at a user group meeting for 15-20 minutes. Yeah, that would be a super efficient use of my time!

Would they be covering expenses? Could you throw in an extra day or two to hit the slopes?

Oh, it's my company wanting to send me, so it would be covered. I hadn't thought about a day of skiing. Hmmm.

Still, I really don't want to do it and think it's a colossal waste of resources, but when I told my manager, expecting her to agree she replied "that's GREAT!"

[DaveInSeattle]

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

[mister d]

Ask TT for advice!!!

[degenerasian]

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

[DaveInSeattle]

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

That's the way of Agile. Daily 15 minute stand ups. 2 week sprints. Big Room Planning every 3 months.

[testuser2]

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

I have several conflicting standups with different project teams every morning. With any type of IT work you need to do some type of coordination and planning. We don't do scrum, but I use them as a social connect time when everyone is remote and a way to get over barriers. For example we just tracked through a different way to build out a device for testing after talking about it in our standup. Saved us a few days time of waiting on other groups.

Had my worst day at work ever a few days ago. Had the chief of police trying to track down one of my dev's in order to notify him of his sister's suicide. Another dev lost their father to suicide a few weeks earlier. Then 30 min's later I had a performance call with another dev whose ALS is starting to affect his work. Good people in shitty times. Maybe this is better in the godless thread.

[Giff]

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

Tell me you don't work for a software company without telling me you don't work for a software company.

That said, and maybe because I wasn't part of the team and only joined the stand-ups because it was for the site my team supports, but they seem worthless. I stopped going.

[The Sybian]

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

That's the way of Agile. Daily 15 minute stand ups. 2 week sprints. Big Room Planning every 3 months.

I don’t understand any of this terminology, but I have an irrational disdain for all of it.

[degenerasian]

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

That's the way of Agile. Daily 15 minute stand ups. 2 week sprints. Big Room Planning every 3 months.

I don’t understand any of this terminology, but I have an irrational disdain for all of it.

Yeah that all sounds forced. And that's tough if you have multiple teams.

[MaxWebster]

i've worked in software for ages... that disdain is not irrational.

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

That's the way of Agile. Daily 15 minute stand ups. 2 week sprints. Big Room Planning every 3 months.

I don’t understand any of this terminology, but I have an irrational disdain for all of it.

[wlu_lax6]

i've worked in software for ages... that disdain is not irrational.

So I'm now a program manager....and they've decided to stick me with 3 scrum teams. I was told they weren't going to do that, but they don't have any one to run the third team, so I'm it (for now). 2 teams on one project, and 1 team on another.

How I'm going to do 3 15 minute stand-ups in a row every morning, I have no idea.

Why do you have to do anything any morning? I may be out of the loop here but this seems like a lot of hand holding for professionals.

That's the way of Agile. Daily 15 minute stand ups. 2 week sprints. Big Room Planning every 3 months.

I don’t understand any of this terminology, but I have an irrational disdain for all of it.

One of my colleagues calls the people who are locked in on the agile process not the outcomes as "a bunch of Scrumbags". Often preceded with some of other rant.

[DaveInSeattle]

That said, and maybe because I wasn't part of the team and only joined the stand-ups because it was for the site my team supports, but they seem worthless. I stopped going.

I 'own' the meetings (I'm the scrum master for all 3 of the teams) so I have to be there to run them.

And I get the disdain for the process. I'm not sure about it either, but in the almost 3 years since we've switched to an Agile type managment system, it has seemed to help with the process, especially managing dependencies between teams.

[DaveInSeattle]

Had my worst day at work ever a few days ago. Had the chief of police trying to track down one of my dev's in order to notify him of his sister's suicide. Another dev lost their father to suicide a few weeks earlier. Then 30 min's later I had a performance call with another dev whose ALS is starting to affect his work. Good people in shitty times. Maybe this is better in the godless thread.

Oh geez...that's all terrible.

[The Sybian]

That said, and maybe because I wasn't part of the team and only joined the stand-ups because it was for the site my team supports, but they seem worthless. I stopped going.

I 'own' the meetings (I'm the scrum master for all 3 of the teams) so I have to be there to run them.

And I get the disdain for the process. I'm not sure about it either, but in the almost 3 years since we've switched to an Agile type managment system, it has seemed to help with the process, especially managing dependencies between teams.

My disdain is for the terminology, I have no idea what the process is or what the terms mean.

[DaveInSeattle]

That said, and maybe because I wasn't part of the team and only joined the stand-ups because it was for the site my team supports, but they seem worthless. I stopped going.

I 'own' the meetings (I'm the scrum master for all 3 of the teams) so I have to be there to run them.

And I get the disdain for the process. I'm not sure about it either, but in the almost 3 years since we've switched to an Agile type managment system, it has seemed to help with the process, especially managing dependencies between teams.

My disdain is for the terminology, I have no idea what the process is or what the terms mean.

I really hate the term 'sprint'. I always think 'I'm already running as fast as I can'. I try to avoid using it in meetings, and use the number (12-1 or whatever) or call it an 'interval' or something.

[Shirley]

Agile is fine. Good, even. But any sw dev methodology should be taken as guiding principle, not Law. Too many standups? Don't have them every day. I've done dailies and I've done 2-3 week and they all work, as long as you also have good communication. And while I've most often done 2-week sprints (you can call them iterations instead), I actually think 3-weeks is better. It cuts down on the overhead of sprint planning, backlog grooming, retrospectives, etc.

[HaulCitgo]

Giff will fuck u up. Do not breach the cube etiquette.

[Giff]

Apparently working for HaulCitgo requires one being cool with people putting their hands on you regardless of whether you want them to or not.

[DaveInSeattle]

Agile is fine. Good, even. But any sw dev methodology should be taken as guiding principle, not Law. Too many standups? Don't have them every day. I've done dailies and I've done 2-3 week and they all work, as long as you also have good communication. And while I've most often done 2-week sprints (you can call them iterations instead), I actually think 3-weeks is better. It cuts down on the overhead of sprint planning, backlog grooming, retrospectives, etc.

One thing one of my teams has been doing in stand-ups is a 'Question of the Day'. This was initiated by a young kid, fresh out of school. Participation is totally optional. The questions are usually something inane like 'if money weren't an issue, what hobby would you like to pick up?' or 'what kind of french fries do you like?'. Its been a good way to get to know each other, since almost everyone on the team has been hired during Covid, and we've never met in person.

[mister d]

If anyone answered "steak fries" they should have been fired (for cause) on the spot.

[Giff]

If anyone answered "steak fries" they should have been fired (for cause) on the spot.

Gard: hey Juwon, what's your favorite french fry?
Howard: steak
Gard: grabs Howard, melee ensues.
Giff: saves a lot of time not arguing on social media and Swamp about said melee.

[Shirley]

Agile is fine. Good, even. But any sw dev methodology should be taken as guiding principle, not Law. Too many standups? Don't have them every day. I've done dailies and I've done 2-3 week and they all work, as long as you also have good communication. And while I've most often done 2-week sprints (you can call them iterations instead), I actually think 3-weeks is better. It cuts down on the overhead of sprint planning, backlog grooming, retrospectives, etc.

One thing one of my teams has been doing in stand-ups is a 'Question of the Day'. This was initiated by a young kid, fresh out of school. Participation is totally optional. The questions are usually something inane like 'if money weren't an issue, what hobby would you like to pick up?' or 'what kind of french fries do you like?'. Its been a good way to get to know each other, since almost everyone on the team has been hired during Covid, and we've never met in person.

We did that a couple of jobs ago when we were all new, because it was a startup. It was a nice way to get know each other, as long as the questions are somewhat practical (do you have any siblings, favorite book, where'd you grow up, etc.).

[duff]

What's your mother's maiden name?
What is your first child's middle name?
What elementary school did you go to?

I just want to get to know all of you better.

Please respond with your personal emails also. Just make us stronger as a team.

[DaveInSeattle]

"What's your social security number?"

[The Sybian]

What's your mother's maiden name?
What is your first child's middle name?
What elementary school did you go to?

I just want to get to know all of you better.

Please respond with your personal emails also. Just make us stronger as a team.

Well played.

We did this in a recent team meeting, and my boss included a question about your favorite breakfast cereal (led to some funny conversations) and "if you add milk, do you pour in the milk or cereal first?" I've never heard of putting in the milk first and thought that was weird. New woman goes first and said, "anyone who puts the milk in first is an idiot." Interesting way to make a first impression. She later said she doesn't respect the people who said they like Kashi brand cereal. She also said her previous employer recently joined my company as a client, and she had a negative experience which is why she applied for the job here. Her whole story makes no sense, but maybe I'm just hurt because I like Kashi.

[degenerasian]

You guys are just wasting time. I just need my co-worker to get his work done, I don't need to know what he eats, how he eats or what color his shit is.

[Johnny Carwash]

"Hey, degen, how was your weekend?"
"I don't care what color your shit is, Gary."

[degenerasian]

"Hey, degen, how was your weekend?"
"I don't care what color your shit is, Gary."

Ha. I'll answer small talk but not a 15 minute session every morning for it. Maybe it's because I really hate my team. I've worked with them too long and they are idiots. I actually get along with people in other departments outside of my own, and we used to hang out for lunch, which I have really missed during the pandemic. We are headed back April 4 so I'm looking forward to it.

[Shirley]

Degen's work stories have me convinced he works in an office job in 1954.

[DaveInSeattle]

Big Room Planning sucks.
Big Zoom Planning (for now the 7th time) really sucks.
Big Zoom Planning while trying to juggle 3 teams spread across 2 projects really fucking sucks.
Big Zoom Planning when the Division Director decides that a new feature needs to be added into the priorities really fucking chaps my ass.

3 more days of fun await...

[DSafetyGuy]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

[The Sybian]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

SNL should do a skit about an office that shares single occupancy rest rooms with a sperm bank. Have an intern at an engineering firm go to the bathroom and leaf through the reading material, an assortment of some lame science mags with hardcore porn mixed in.

[degenerasian]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

SNL should do a skit about an office that shares single occupancy rest rooms with a sperm bank. Have an intern at an engineering firm go to the bathroom and leaf through the reading material, an assortment of some lame science mags with hardcore porn mixed in.

No way. A sperm bank must in a controlled environment and have it's own set of rooms. They're not taking guys in one at a time and sending them out to a shared room. That would compromise the sperm sample.

[EnochRoot]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

SNL should do a skit about an office that shares single occupancy rest rooms with a sperm bank. Have an intern at an engineering firm go to the bathroom and leaf through the reading material, an assortment of some lame science mags with hardcore porn mixed in.

No way. A sperm bank must in a controlled environment and have it's own set of rooms. They're not taking guys in one at a time and sending them out to a shared room. That would compromise the sperm sample.

OK people listen up. I know you're tired of hearing this, but the sperm donors need to stick to the bank of bathrooms on the left. Those in line for the suite's shared bathroom need to stick to that..room with a toilet on the right [muffled gurgling sound].

[The Sybian]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

SNL should do a skit about an office that shares single occupancy rest rooms with a sperm bank. Have an intern at an engineering firm go to the bathroom and leaf through the reading material, an assortment of some lame science mags with hardcore porn mixed in.

No way. A sperm bank must in a controlled environment and have it's own set of rooms. They're not taking guys in one at a time and sending them out to a shared room. That would compromise the sperm sample.

Didn't realize comedy skits (and this is surely a 12:55 idea) need to strictly follow medical office SOPs.

[degenerasian]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

SNL should do a skit about an office that shares single occupancy rest rooms with a sperm bank. Have an intern at an engineering firm go to the bathroom and leaf through the reading material, an assortment of some lame science mags with hardcore porn mixed in.

No way. A sperm bank must in a controlled environment and have it's own set of rooms. They're not taking guys in one at a time and sending them out to a shared room. That would compromise the sperm sample.

OK people listen up. I know you're tired of hearing this, but the sperm donors need to stick to the bank of bathrooms on the left. Those in line for the suite's shared bathroom need to stick to that..room with a toilet on the right [muffled gurgling sound].

This would be really funny. Especially if the speaker had a booming PA Announcer voice.

[EnochRoot]

I am currently working out of an office with several "single occupancy restrooms".

One of them has the coffee table book, "The Most Beautiful Country Towns of Tuscany" in it.

No, thanks.

SNL should do a skit about an office that shares single occupancy rest rooms with a sperm bank. Have an intern at an engineering firm go to the bathroom and leaf through the reading material, an assortment of some lame science mags with hardcore porn mixed in.

No way. A sperm bank must in a controlled environment and have it's own set of rooms. They're not taking guys in one at a time and sending them out to a shared room. That would compromise the sperm sample.

OK people listen up. I know you're tired of hearing this, but the sperm donors need to stick to the bank of bathrooms on the left. Those in line for the suite's shared bathroom need to stick to that..room with a toilet on the right [muffled gurgling sound].

This would be really funny. Especially if the speaker had a booming PA Announcer voice.

The people exiting the bathrooms on the left would have smiles on their faces, and the ones exiting from the lone bathroom on the right would be waving their hands over their noses, bent over, looking to press an elevator button.

You could go a number of ways with it. And a story could be told between two people as they inch towards the fork in the road (L/R), where one person goes to jack off and the other takes a dump in a horrible bathroom.

Sorry. I used to be more creative when I got high. Bourbon addles mah brain!