FMD - For God's Sake Just Pick!

[A_B]

Friday marriage discussion - does your ladyfriend/wife/spouse/partner NEVER choose what to eat? I know it's meme fodder and a stereotype, but it's real! I cannot recall the last time my wife said :" You know what I would like to have for dinner?" or "I am craving XXXXX food tonight!"

I imagine this is the most pressing marriage-related issue in the swamp these days, so weigh in.

[Jerloma]

Yes, absolutely. That's weird. Didn't even know it was a meme.

[Nonlinear FC]

My wife is a very good cook and plans out a general plan for the week. She is also fairly picky/particular about what we are doing in terms of carryout. I have about 10 "favorite" types of food and will eat Mexican or Thai or Chinese 3 days in a row if left to my own devices. She has trouble eating leftovers, as an example. I absolutely don't.

So, we really do default to "whatever you want, dear" because I will like whatever she chooses, whereas I meant want BBQ or something and if she's not feeling it, it's just not worth pushing the issue. (she likes BBQ, she just might not be in the mood for it on the day.)

I do recognize that she's a little different on this. We have also been together our entire adult lives and have kind of figured some shit out along the way.

[Johnnie]

Absolutely not. My wife (Borat voice) is always sending me Instagram videos of recipes to try at home and clips of restaurants with food that looks really good.

Tucson is one of 2 American UNESCO "Cities of Gastronomy" (along with San Antonio), so there's always something awesome we haven't tried yet.

In fact, next week begins Sonoran Restaurant Week with lots of participating restaurants having a $25, $35, or $45 prix fixe menu.

https://www.sonoranrestaurantweek.com/

This is a meme I haven't experienced.

[GoodKarma]

I'm in the same boat as NLFC...my wife has to choose where to eat because there is usually something wrong with what I would pick. Her indecisiveness comes into play when deciding on what to do vs. where to go.

[Jerloma]

Oh I guess "absolutely not" was my answer then.

"My gf absolutely does not NEVER pick a thing to eat."

[Pruitt3]

I do maybe 90% of the cooking and of that 90%, most of the time my wife gives me a "whatever" even though she is really picky. AND she insists on doing the grocery ordering, so we have maybe 10 boxes of shitty "alternative" pasta that she's never in the mood for.

[L-Jam3]

I'm with you guys, but for me, it's not food but rather entertainment. In short, my wife sucks at watching tv.

We keep a fairly full DVR which is about 80% my shit that I watch either at night after she goes to bed or on the weekends. And there are a few watch with shows, mostly reality shows. I can actually tolerate a couple of the Real Housewives editions. But then if she read about a show on Netflix is where the indecision comes up. She opens up Netflix, and then spends an interminable about of time (it's probably only like five minutes) going through the options. And this is where it starts getting me. I think I get anxiety when I'm forced too many choices, so I keep a running list in my notes of shit to watch. But with her it's scroll, scroll, scroll.

And then when she does decide on something, we'll watch it for a while, and then she'll either stop it to go to bed before it ends, or if we watch a couple of episodes and she gets bored of it after I've added it to my Shit to Watch list.

[A_B]

Oh we do fine with grocery and cooking from home. More of a "let's get takeout" or "let's go grab something" that ends up being whatever I end up choosing. Things could be worse I suppose. Wife isn't picky but kid is very.

Basically, we have plans to watch the new LOTR show tonight and I really don't fucking want papa johns.

Just trying to get some discourse going, and it's worked!

Also the meme is primarily TikTok based and my wife sends me them and chuckles.

[Gunpowder]

I do maybe 90% of the cooking and of that 90%, most of the time my wife gives me a "whatever" even though she is really picky. AND she insists on doing the grocery ordering, so we have maybe 10 boxes of shitty "alternative" pasta that she's never in the mood for.

yeppp

[mister d]

I do maybe 90% of the cooking and of that 90%, most of the time my wife gives me a "whatever" even though she is really picky. AND she insists on doing the grocery ordering, so we have maybe 10 boxes of shitty "alternative" pasta that she's never in the mood for.

Same (more than 90% if you back out "made the kids pasta"), but I do all the grocery shopping. I don't think I could handle someone else shopping and then me cooking. Parcells knew what was up.

[Giff]

I shop, she cooks unless we're grilling. I'll generally come up with a menu outline while my mind wanders on a walk or on my two commutes to work a week. I shop because I can actually stick to a list.

As far as takeout, one of us will generally have something in mind. What has really helped our weight loss is instead of just picking something random to get if neither one of us is craving something, we'll find something to scrounge together at home. Who knew cutting out the "oh nothing sounds good, I'll just pick up Whataburger" would help with that?!

[duff]

Mrs. Duff usually is the one that picks what we eat when ordering out. We try to come up with a menu for the week and then go shopping on Saturday date night. The trick is keeping to the menu during the work week.

[The Sybian]

Always a problem, especially on vacation. Wife is a super picky eater, always asks me to choose the restaurant and wants me to choose something I'd like, b/c I am way more into food than her. If it was up to me, most days I'd choose an authentic ethnic restaurant where we are the only people not of that ethnicity. I always try to choose a place that has something she will want, but if she isn't in the mood for that, it's a problem. And she usually won't look at a menu first, even if I text her a link to the menu, because she says she can find something anywhere (she can't). OTOH, I will eat just about anything, so if she picked a place, I'll find something I want. Major source of frustration.

[mister d]

I shop because I can actually stick to a list.

Also this. If we do a family trip and we break into two groups, its a guaranteed $50+ more than if its just me or me and a kid.

[sancarlos]

At home, my wife is pretty decisive. “How about X for dinner tonight, and Y tomorrow?” (She knows I’ll generally be fine with her decision unless it’s one of the few known vetos.) She is a great cook.

At a restaurant, not so much. She usually has two things she can’t choose between, so she then wants me to order one of them, and she the other, “so she can taste them both.”

[Giff]

We also have a thing where there are certain foods she'll never say no (Indian and Italian) to and I have to be in the right mood for them. So I have to really ask myself if I want it before bringing it up as an option.

[Shirley]

Definitely an issue. Cooking at home (which is rare these days) is rarely an issue. But choosing take out absolutely is. Either she says what she wants immediately, or it's impossible to get a decision out of her. Yet, she's also very opinionated and picky about her food.

[DSafetyGuy]

I shop because I can actually stick to a list.

Also this. If we do a family trip and we break into two groups, its a guaranteed $50+ more than if its just me or me and a kid.

It took several months, but I was able to (mostly) successfully re-train my wife at grocery shopping. It certainly helped that the register tape used to show year-to-date savings with the loyalty card. She finally got it the year we saved over $2,000 by sticking toward buying things when they were on sale. It is rare that the savings is under 25%.

[The Sybian]

I shop because I can actually stick to a list.

Also this. If we do a family trip and we break into two groups, its a guaranteed $50+ more than if its just me or me and a kid.

It took several months, but I was able to (mostly) successfully re-train my wife at grocery shopping. It certainly helped that the register tape used to show year-to-date savings with the loyalty card. She finally got it the year we saved over $2,000 by sticking toward buying things when they were on sale. It is rare that the savings is under 25%.

During my college years when I was a cashier at Wegman's I knew the schedule for when everything went on sale. Living in house senior year, I had everything timed so we'd buy enough to get us through the 3-6 weeks until that item was on sale again.

[mister d]

Mine is more "I think I like this pasta sauce" and its $8 versus the $3 store kind that I'm sure isn't tremendously different.

[The Sybian]

Mine is more "I think I like this pasta sauce" and its $8 versus the $3 store kind that I'm sure isn't tremendously different.

During my training at Wegman's they gave us a list of who made all the store brand items. That was eye opening at 16. Most of the products listed had the address of the manufacturer. For example, the potato chips were Ruffles. Look at the address on the Wegman's chips and it was the same address on the Ruffle's bag. Years ago I noticed they started listing Wegman's corporate address on some products, but for the most part, store brand items are identical, just placed in different packaging. OTOH, sometimes store brand items are made buy an inferior name brand and suck.

[Brontoburglar]

we watch TV totally differently and it's frustrating at times. she'll say she wants to watch what we do in the shadows or something and then spends half the time not really paying attention while I have to listen to every word because I don't want to miss anything. and then I'm like "you didn't even know what happened there did you?"

or she falls asleep and then I have to rewatch 20-30 minutes that I've already seen of a show the next night. I've started just stopping as soon as she falls asleep and turning on a game because it saves me having to rewatch (and then get asked why I'm not paying attention during the rewatch) the next day

[Pruitt3]

we watch TV totally differently and it's frustrating at times. she'll say she wants to watch what we do in the shadows or something and then spends half the time not really paying attention while I have to listen to every word because I don't want to miss anything. and then I'm like "you didn't even know what happened there did you?"

or she falls asleep and then I have to rewatch 20-30 minutes that I've already seen of a show the next night. I've started just stopping as soon as she falls asleep and turning on a game because it saves me having to rewatch (and then get asked why I'm not paying attention during the rewatch) the next day

It's not one of the official "keys to a long happy marriage," but it doesn't hurt to eventually have two big TVs.

[sancarlos]

Maybe it’s because we don’t have basements around here, but I don’t think I know anybody who has two big screen TVs.

[A_B]

Maybe it’s because we don’t have basements around here, but I don’t think I know anybody who has two big screen TVs.

Holy shit. I don’t have a basement and I have four big screens.

[GoodKarma]

The other marriage saver is headphones for the TV…it’s to the point where I basically wear them every evening now.

[Brontoburglar]

we watch TV totally differently and it's frustrating at times. she'll say she wants to watch what we do in the shadows or something and then spends half the time not really paying attention while I have to listen to every word because I don't want to miss anything. and then I'm like "you didn't even know what happened there did you?"

or she falls asleep and then I have to rewatch 20-30 minutes that I've already seen of a show the next night. I've started just stopping as soon as she falls asleep and turning on a game because it saves me having to rewatch (and then get asked why I'm not paying attention during the rewatch) the next day

It's not one of the official "keys to a long happy marriage," but it doesn't hurt to eventually have two big TVs.

uh...

[Square Rob]

At home, my wife is pretty decisive. “How about X for dinner tonight, and Y tomorrow?” (She knows I’ll generally be fine with her decision unless it’s one of the few known vetos.) She is a great cook.

At a restaurant, not so much. She usually has two things she can’t choose between, so she then wants me to order one of them, and she the other, “so she can taste them both.”

Holy shit, are we married to sisters? Mine does the same.

My wife is a very adventurous eater, and generally not picky. But very indecisive. I make her mad because I don’t like to share what I’m eating. She will ask ‘can I split some of that with you? I’ll let you eat the rest of mine…” And I almost always tell her “If I wanted that I would have ordered it.” I’ve just given up now and offer her some of what I’m eating right away anymore.

[sancarlos]

At home, my wife is pretty decisive. “How about X for dinner tonight, and Y tomorrow?” (She knows I’ll generally be fine with her decision unless it’s one of the few known vetos.) She is a great cook.

At a restaurant, not so much. She usually has two things she can’t choose between, so she then wants me to order one of them, and she the other, “so she can taste them both.”

Holy shit, are we married to sisters? Mine does the same.

My wife is a very adventurous eater, and generally not picky. But very indecisive. I make her mad because I don’t like to share what I’m eating. She will ask ‘can I split some of that with you? I’ll let you eat the rest of mine…” And I almost always tell her “If I wanted that I would have ordered it.” I’ve just given up now and offer her some of what I’m eating right away anymore.

Ha ha. Very alike!