NFL Offseason Thread

howard · Post by **howard** » Tue Mar 25, 2014 3:05 pm

But Walking Dead corpses don't see all that well. They never hit Zombie Al with a head shot.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Tue Mar 25, 2014 3:12 pm

howard wrote:But Walking Dead corpses don't see all that well. They never hit Zombie Al with a head shot.

He sees well enough -- at least between the puffs of sulphurous flame -- to recognize the second coming of Lamonica with a field full of faster Warren Wells.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:05 pm

The Eagles release DeSean Jackson, poison well.

The announcement came soon after a chilling NJ.com report stated that the Eagles were concerned with "Jackson's continued association with reputed Los Angeles street gang members who have been connected to two homicides since 2010."

"They are concerned about having him around the younger players," a source told NJ.com.

Post by **brian** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:06 pm

I don't get it. Sounds like he'd fit right in in Philly.

Post by **brian** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:06 pm

I mean an Eagle who actually murders people has to a Philly fan's wet dream, right?

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 12:50 pm

He could be a Lion, as they wear blue.

Post by **brian** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:06 pm

Gunpowder wrote:He could be a Lion, as they wear blue.

If it won the Lions a Super Bowl I wouldn't care if they signed a Satanist mass murderer.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 1:13 pm

Oh same here.

Some background on that - the LAPD apparently believes that Jackson is an actual crip.

http://deadspin.com/eagles-cut-desean-j ... 1553730474" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Post by **brian** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:06 pm

This paragraph of a story about this made me laugh a little given the context.

Recent reports surfaced that the Eagles were looking to trade Jackson. There also had been rumors that Jackson isn't a fit in the locker-room culture that Kelly, entering his second season, is trying to cultivate last season.

So racist WR? Locker-room hero. Guy who runs with gang members? Locker room cancer.

(And I very much get it's not quite that simple. But Kelly can't throw this locker-room fit shit at the wall less than a year after welcoming Cooper back with open arms.)

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Mar 28, 2014 3:05 pm

If nobody in the locker room got over it and they don't have a problem with Cooper, I don't see why those would be at odds. It's not like Cooper made it rain Ns all season.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sat Mar 29, 2014 9:20 pm

Maurice Jones-Drew to the Raiders. Who'da thunk?

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Mar 31, 2014 9:43 pm

I may be a Browns fan, but to paraphrase an old expression about sleeping with ugly or unpleasant women - "I wouldn't watch this movie with your eyes."

And note how the opening shot of Browns Stadium becomes Ralph Wilson Stadium for some bizarre reason early in the trailer. With attention to football detail like that, this movie is probably so ridiculous that the Browns end up with a franchise QB in the first round.

Disclaimer: I wouldn't watch Kevin Costner if he (for some inexplicable reason) was pouring me a glass of Highland Park.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:27 am

That's totally how the draft works, every time teams trade picks everybody goes WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA and then whenever teams wait until less than 5 minutes are left to pick the GM gets fired.

Post by **Sabo** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:47 am

Gunpowder wrote:That's totally how the draft works, every time teams trade picks everybody goes WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA and then whenever teams wait until less than 5 minutes are left to pick the GM gets fired.

Please don't give the Browns' ownership group any ideas.

Thanks.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:02 pm

Gunpowder wrote: then whenever teams wait until less than 5 minutes are left to pick the GM gets fired.

I can only imagine what would've happened to the Vikings' GM, then.

Post by **brian** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:17 pm

That movie looks just all kinds of bad. I have to imagine (most) football fans are going to be rolling in the aisles at how unrealistic and stupid it is and most non-football fans are just going to ignore it/stay home. That leaves pretty much Kevin Costner completists. I can't wait to start reading reviews though.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:20 pm

Was gchatting with somebody today about how awesome it would be to Mystery Science Theater it. Just be the only people in the theater running around like crazy when Costner pulls off a huge trade.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:57 pm

"MIKE LOMBARDIS IS...MY...SHIZNIIIIIIIIIT"

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:27 pm

GM to coach - "just trust me."

"Draft Day" looks like it could be the worst sports movie since "Madea Goes To Spring Training."

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Wed Apr 02, 2014 1:09 pm

I saw two trailers from the Costner NFL film. Someday someone will make an incredible movie that intercuts scenes from this one and another Costner masterpiece.

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:06 pm

Chad Ochocinco has signed with the Montreal Alouettes.

Oh, how the so-called mighty have fallen.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:24 pm

Sabo wrote:Chad Ochocinco has signed with the Montreal Alouettes.

Oh, how the so-called mighty have fallen.

Ya the Alouettes haven't been the same since Trestman left.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:36 pm

I guess now he'll have to change his name again!
to Tchad Ochocinco

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Apr 17, 2014 1:44 pm

Ryan wrote:I guess now he'll have to change his name again!
to Tchad Ochocinco

Or to Chad Quatre-Vingts

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue May 13, 2014 9:54 am

What is the deal with the looming Josh Gordon suspension. I see the idiot was allegedly caught using drugs again. What is the expectation of his suspension? So pissed, as I have him in my keeper league and only need to use a 9th round pick to keep him. What a fucking idiot. Is it really worth a year suspension to smoke some weed? No. No it isn't.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue May 13, 2014 10:27 am

The Sybian wrote:What is the deal with the looming Josh Gordon suspension. I see the idiot was allegedly caught using drugs again. What is the expectation of his suspension? So pissed, as I have him in my keeper league and only need to use a 9th round pick to keep him. What a fucking idiot. Is it really worth a year suspension to smoke some weed? No. No it isn't.

It is so hard to get caught, though.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Thu May 15, 2014 1:29 pm

According to court docs, Greg Hardy's girlfriend says he was mad because of her relationship with Nelly.

Post by **brian** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:14 am

2014 season win totals are out.

Post by **Sabo** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:21 am

brian wrote:2014 season win totals are out.

I'll take the under for the Browns.

devilfluff · Post by **devilfluff** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:50 am

If I were a betting man, I'd like the under on the 'skins and the over on the Falcons.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:51 am

I would definitely like the OVER for both the Chiefs and Panthers.

Post by **brian** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:57 am

I like the over on Atlanta, but not Carolina. That's a really good division. I'm not sold that Carolina has anyone to throw the ball to. Benjamin is two years away from being able to contribute to that team. He's going to basically need a redshirt year.

kranepool · Post by **kranepool** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:58 am

I'm not going to touch this year's overs/unders with a 10-foot goat pecker.

kranepool · Post by **kranepool** » Mon May 19, 2014 11:59 am

Houston under 7.5

Post by **brian** » Mon May 19, 2014 12:01 pm

kranepool wrote:Houston under 7.5

Yeah, that one stood out to me too. If they didn't play in a division with Jacksonville and Tennessee, I'd be all over it, but if they can duct tape a QB situation together, they can win a few low-scoring games this year.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon May 19, 2014 3:40 pm

I really like Jags over 4.5.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue May 20, 2014 6:26 am

Dolphins and Cardinals under.

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Tue May 20, 2014 7:03 am

Bengals under 9.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue May 20, 2014 8:22 am

sancarlos wrote:I would definitely like the OVER for both the Chiefs and Panthers.

8 seems perfect for the Chiefs. I don't think I'd be surprised if they were 9-7, but it's not likely.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri May 23, 2014 1:49 pm

brian wrote:
kranepool wrote:Houston under 7.5
Yeah, that one stood out to me too. If they didn't play in a division with Jacksonville and Tennessee, I'd be all over it, but if they can duct tape a QB situation together, they can win a few low-scoring games this year.

If their line plays better than it did last year and Foster's healthy, I can see Fitzpatrick being good enough to manage to outscore the other offense. The defense should be pretty phenomenal.