NFL 2023 - Week 1

[tennbengal]

Well...fuck (as a Kelce manager in one league...D'Safe's league)

[brian]

That opener looks a lot less daunting without having to face Kelce or Chris Jones.

[Johnnie]

Well...fuck (as a Kelce manager in one league...D'Safe's league)

Exactly why I stopped playing fantasy football years ago. I too have Kelce.

[L-Jam3]

I feel like Washington is the play this week in Survivor. They're decidedly middle-of-the-road, but Arizona are wretched and likely tanking, and playing in the early slot. Rain might make it a little bit of a wild card, but this feels pretty safe.

[Gunpowder]

Guy in my league with Kelce picked up Noah Gray and told us that 1/3rd of their targets last year went to Kelce and Gray combined, and they "aren't going to change their offense now". He actually thinks it works like that. I'm glad he's in my league.

He's also the only two-time winner. Fuckin' fantasy man.

[Gunpowder]

I feel like Washington is the play this week in Survivor. They're decidedly middle-of-the-road, but Arizona are wretched and likely tanking, and playing in the early slot. Rain might make it a little bit of a wild card, but this feels pretty safe.

So did I but it appears that they have become the co-consensus pick with Baltimore (who I want no part of).

If so I have to switch to Jacksonville.

[Gunpowder]

[The Sybian]

Buffalo not being a silky pick over the Jets seems like a victory to me.

[mister d]

Guy in my league with Kelce picked up Noah Gray and told us that 1/3rd of their targets last year went to Kelce and Gray combined, and they "aren't going to change their offense now". He actually thinks it works like that. I'm glad he's in my league.

He's also the only two-time winner. Fuckin' fantasy man.

100% of Natalie Portman's (presumed) fucks to date this year were me and Benjamin Millepied so I'm feeling pretty good about Q4.

[tennbengal]

I feel like Washington is the play this week in Survivor. They're decidedly middle-of-the-road, but Arizona are wretched and likely tanking, and playing in the early slot. Rain might make it a little bit of a wild card, but this feels pretty safe.

So did I but it appears that they have become the co-consensus pick with Baltimore (who I want no part of).

If so I have to switch to Jacksonville.

whoa. why? I want a lay-up to get past week 1 (I got knocked out in week 1 last year) and it feels like CJ Stroud's debut on the road against the Ravens is as much a lock Ravens win as you can get. What am I missing?

[Gunpowder]

Guy in my league with Kelce picked up Noah Gray and told us that 1/3rd of their targets last year went to Kelce and Gray combined, and they "aren't going to change their offense now". He actually thinks it works like that. I'm glad he's in my league.

He's also the only two-time winner. Fuckin' fantasy man.

100% of Natalie Portman's (presumed) fucks to date this year were me and Benjamin Millepied so I'm feeling pretty good about Q4.

Pretty much, and he said it in all seriousness

[Gunpowder]

I feel like Washington is the play this week in Survivor. They're decidedly middle-of-the-road, but Arizona are wretched and likely tanking, and playing in the early slot. Rain might make it a little bit of a wild card, but this feels pretty safe.

So did I but it appears that they have become the co-consensus pick with Baltimore (who I want no part of).

If so I have to switch to Jacksonville.

whoa. why? I want a lay-up to get past week 1 (I got knocked out in week 1 last year) and it feels like CJ Stroud's debut on the road against the Ravens is as much a lock Ravens win as you can get. What am I missing?

New coach energy vs. a new offense vs. everyone on this game, and it's week 1, I just have a weird 2012 Cardinals/New England feel about it.

Baltimore also is crossing their fingers that they have any sort of pass rush. It's just a gut feel thing, not anything I can really defend.

[Johnnie]

Guy in my league with Kelce picked up Noah Gray and told us that 1/3rd of their targets last year went to Kelce and Gray combined, and they "aren't going to change their offense now". He actually thinks it works like that. I'm glad he's in my league.

He's also the only two-time winner. Fuckin' fantasy man.

I picked up Juwan Johnson in case Kelce can't go. There's a Business Horse that suggested him so he wins the roshambo between him, Okonkwo, and Kincaid.

[Gunpowder]

I think Biz Horse likes Okwonwkowkiwoewo more but both are decent options.

[Johnnie]

Kelce is questionable.

[EdRomero]

Pretty big deal about someone returning to Foxboro this weekend: Matt Patricia!

(and Bledsoe's former backup)

[L-Jam3]

Pretty big deal about someone returning to Foxboro this weekend: Matt Patricia!

(and Bledsoe's former backup)

I somehow forgot until a couple of days ago that the Eagles hired Patricia. The only way I’d be in favor of this is if he’s only there to be yelled at by players and coaches when things go wrong. Because with Harden on the way out, the job of Philly Sports Scapegoat is currently open.

[Johnnie]

Edit:

[brian]

Wearing my new shirt tonight.

https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/vk_Gbdl ... grit.0.jpg

image.jpeg (61.27 KiB) Viewed 444 times

[EnochRoot]

Edit:

Are these like junior high copy editors?

He's ruled OUT despite testing his knee?

Testing his knee is not the time to use despite. A despite situation would be "He's ruled OUT despite showing positive signs earlier in the week," or "...despite practicing in pads this week."

[/Old man shaking fist at clouds]

[rass]

That anthem was a bit much

[sancarlos]

Yup. So’s that tomahawk chop.

[L-Jam3]

Big fan of that 4th down call.

[Johnnie]

A fake punt attempt inside the 20 was a choice. And the Lions converted it!

[sancarlos]

Big fan of that 4th down call.

It worked, so yeah I guess. But high risk, low reward.

[rass]

Collinsworth got a boner for Detroit.

[L-Jam3]

Big fan of that 4th down call.

It worked, so yeah I guess. But high risk, low reward.

I feel like you need to take more chances against a better opponent. David strategies.

[Rex]

How many Chiefs players wear a single digit number? They’re the anti-Yankees

[Rex]

I don’t think those were actual receivers. I think Mahomes just completed those passes to fans that had run onto the field

[sancarlos]

[brian]

Been trying to spread the gospel of Brian Branch to whomever would listen.

[Gunpowder]

I mean the ball just bounced into his hands but sure

[Johnnie]

That play was more Kadarius Toney being a fuckawful receiver than anything. Dude can't catch at all.

[Gunpowder]

A fake punt attempt inside the 20 was a choice. And the Lions converted it!

And then later on they punt from past midfield. I like Dan Campbell but he’s really gotta stop smoking meth

[Johnnie]

What's up with the dress code for trainers? Dude is wearing a Honolulu blue sport coat with really slick looking Nikes.

[Johnnie]

Fucking finally called a false start on that KC O-lineman....on a 4th & 20.

And they go for it on 4th & 25 regardless.

Can someone explain the big brain move from the Chiefs there?

[brian]

“This Lions team will be lucky to win 7 games.”

- Bill Simmons

[sancarlos]

Been awhile since I’ve seen a player have as bad a night as Kadarious Toney did tonight.

[degenerasian]

Fucking finally called a false start on that KC O-lineman....on a 4th & 20.

And they go for it on 4th & 25 regardless.

Can someone explain the big brain move from the Chiefs there?

Maholmes! If they punt and don't get the ball. "OMG you took the game out of Maholmes' hands"

[brian]

Lions broke the active streak for longest time since a win against defending Super Bowl champ. (1997)