The Official Swamp Dating Thread

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:49 am

boxcar wrote:cad?

They have the queen on their money, so they can get away with saying cad.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 9:50 am

eh ..what for, I just come off being the bad guy. I'll just play the victim card.

I totally give off the wrong vibe and attracting the wrong girls. Need to change that and hang out with different people.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:01 am

Fuck the victim card. Be the Cad, not the Card.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:31 pm

degenerasian wrote:eh ..what for, I just come off being the bad guy. I'll just play the victim card.

I totally give off the wrong vibe and attracting the wrong girls. Need to change that and hang out with different people.

Try dating a Jewish woman. It'll make you wish you were still single.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:44 pm

Pruitt wrote:
mister d wrote: (But for real, the takeaway from that should be "oh, that's why she's still single" and nothing else.)
My wife has a friend who I've known since I met my wife twenty years ago. Good looking, fairly bright but unable to hold down a job other than as a part time trainer. A woman always looking for Prince Charming. In her case, he'd have to be handsome, Jewish - but not too religious, rich with a good job, but not a job that meant he was working crazy hours (she once blew off a Doctor because he was always busy), he'd have to be completely devoted to her, and have to be into yoga and whatever healthy food trends cropped up.

She'd meet a guy, date him three times, find a reason to dump him and then spend months crying over the missed opportunity. One time, a guy (Charles) asked her out again six months or so after she stopped returning his calls. She had spent the interim dating guys and complaining to my wife that none of them were as great as Charles. Well, she went out with Charles twice before deciding that he wasn't the one.

She just turned 45 and is still single.

I don't think there's anything wrong with Charles or any of the other poor schmucks who bought this woman dinner.

Keep looking, but do avoid middle aged Jewish women from Toronto who work part time as pilates instructors. They are as crazy as a bag of snakes.

Sounds just like my wife's sister. She is a good-looking middle-aged urban hipster living in San Francisco. Used to be fairly hot when she was younger. Over the past 20+ years, my wife and I have met and double-dated with her and her many men du jour. I used to try to get to know the guys, see if I liked them enough to hang out, maybe bond a bit. I finally gave up. Now, I just look at them and think to myself, "you'll be gone soon."

She is over 50 now, looks are fading a bit. She got three cats, doesn't date so much, and bemoans the ones that got away. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:58 pm

sancarlos wrote:
Pruitt wrote:
mister d wrote: (But for real, the takeaway from that should be "oh, that's why she's still single" and nothing else.)
My wife has a friend who I've known since I met my wife twenty years ago. Good looking, fairly bright but unable to hold down a job other than as a part time trainer. A woman always looking for Prince Charming. In her case, he'd have to be handsome, Jewish - but not too religious, rich with a good job, but not a job that meant he was working crazy hours (she once blew off a Doctor because he was always busy), he'd have to be completely devoted to her, and have to be into yoga and whatever healthy food trends cropped up.

She'd meet a guy, date him three times, find a reason to dump him and then spend months crying over the missed opportunity. One time, a guy (Charles) asked her out again six months or so after she stopped returning his calls. She had spent the interim dating guys and complaining to my wife that none of them were as great as Charles. Well, she went out with Charles twice before deciding that he wasn't the one.

She just turned 45 and is still single.

I don't think there's anything wrong with Charles or any of the other poor schmucks who bought this woman dinner.

Keep looking, but do avoid middle aged Jewish women from Toronto who work part time as pilates instructors. They are as crazy as a bag of snakes.
Sounds just like my wife's sister. She is a good-looking middle-aged urban hipster living in San Francisco. Used to be fairly hot when she was younger. Over the past 20+ years, my wife and I have met and double-dated with her and her many men du jour. I used to try to get to know the guys, see if I liked them enough to hang out, maybe bond a bit. I finally gave up. Now, I just look at them and think to myself, "you'll be gone soon."

She is over 50 now, looks are fading a bit. She got three cats, doesn't date so much, and bemoans the ones that got away. Lather, rinse, repeat.

And she thinks that my wife - married for 18 years, busy with a really good job and two teenagers - is interested in her tales of dating woes. When her name comes up on call waiting it's usually a "don't answer it!" situation as after a long day at work, my wife is usually not in the mood for her sob stories.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:04 pm

sancarlos wrote:Now, I just look at them and think to myself, "you'll be gone soon."

I know that look, I've gotten it from roommates before.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:14 pm

Pruitt wrote:
degenerasian wrote:eh ..what for, I just come off being the bad guy. I'll just play the victim card.

I totally give off the wrong vibe and attracting the wrong girls. Need to change that and hang out with different people.
Try dating a Jewish woman. It'll make you wish you were still single.

I think the single Chinese girl is a close 2nd. This is who I get set up with the most. Remember China instituted a one-child policy in 1980. So that's 34 years old this year. That is the range I get set up with so they're pretty spoiled.

It's my fault though, like I said yesterday I'm giving off the wrong vibe. Tonight I'm going to the pub for some drinks to see off a co-worker who is leaving the company. Watch a hockey game too. I need to tell people what I like.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:17 pm

You need to change your vibe so that people set you up with better matches? Interesting strategy.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:22 pm

If any girl tries to talk to you tonight, explain you've put way too much effort recently into actively trying to find a partner and that you need to take a break and "just work on me for a bit ... you know ... just me ... and me". Then wink. And go back to the hockey game. Go Blueshirts!

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:24 pm

P.D.X. wrote:You need to change your vibe so that people set you up with better matches? Interesting strategy.

Does that make sense?

If I talk about politics, comic books, finances etc.. they will set me up with a girl who likes that.
If I talk about sports, drinking, restaurants etc.. they will set me up with a girl who likes that.

At the moment I think people think I'm introverted, analytical, like computers, tv shows, superhero movies etc..
Probably because I'm a bit shy around people I meet for the first time and am very professional at work.

But in reality im extroverted, outgoing, loves sports, pool, poker and drinking. If I could swear and surf all day at work I would.
So I think that more of the real me has to come out instead of supressing it to be 'proper'. I think that's been my problem. I've always hid what I like, maybe out of embarassment, I don't know.

Go Flames!

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:33 pm

Oh. I found your problem.

degenerasian wrote:Go Flames!

Burrrrrnnnnnn

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:44 pm

mister d wrote:Oh. I found your problem.

degenerasian wrote:Go Flames!
Burrrrrnnnnnn

hahahaha

Actually I didn't have tickets to the home opener but as I was leaving downtown, girls in red Flames sweaters were coming in. I thought to myself.. I want a hot girl in a sweater like that.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:59 pm

degenerasian wrote:I want a hot girl in a sweater like that.

If MaxWebster ever comes back around these parts have him tell you the story of the game worn Gretzky sweater.

(and there few outfits hotter than on a woman in a hockey sweater and nothing else.)

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 4:20 pm

Rush2112 wrote:
degenerasian wrote:I want a hot girl in a sweater like that.
If MaxWebster ever comes back around these parts have him tell you the story of the game worn Gretzky sweater.

(and there few outfits hotter than on a woman in a hockey sweater and nothing else.)

which is hotter, hockey sweater or baseball jersey?

I think the baseball jersey edges it because it's usually accompanied by a baseball cap.

devilfluff · Post by **devilfluff** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:43 pm

The baseball jersey can have a few buttons left undone at the top....

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 7:49 pm

The hockey sweater can have the laces undone. Ooooooo too hot.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Thu Oct 09, 2014 8:54 pm

degenerasian wrote:

which is hotter, hockey sweater or baseball jersey?

I think the baseball jersey edges it because it's usually accompanied by a baseball cap.

jeans, baseball jersey, cap yes. nothing on bottom then it's hockey sweater by a landslide.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 3:34 pm

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2 ... _like_her/

Degen?

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 3:49 pm

what's lync?

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 3:50 pm

degenerasian wrote:what's lync?

Fuck if I know.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 3:52 pm

degenerasian wrote:what's lync?

Microsoft instant messenger application for offices.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:27 pm

my office still uses paper.

we dont even have smartboards.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Fri Oct 10, 2014 4:29 pm

Soooo...how did that dude fuck up?

Edit:

Oh, I see. He thought he did. 4 edits later determined that his only real fuck up was posting an incomplete story to tifu.

DaveInSeattle · Post by **DaveInSeattle** » Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:45 pm

Probably no one's noticed I haven't been Swamping much lately....but there is a reason for that: I moved in with my girlfriend, and haven't had much time for being on the computer or even watching much sports. Have been making lots of road trips to Oregon to watch her daughter play soccer. Its her senior year at Univ. of Puget Sound so we are trying to see as many games as possible.

Been almost a month now that I've been here...and besides my shoddy bed-making skills (the one major OCD thing the Girlfriend has) everything is going great! (knock on wood!)

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:49 pm

Right on Dave!

If it can survive when you're half way across the world then she can survive you not making the bed!

Hope the kids are grand.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:33 am

Good stuff, Dave. I see the pics you post on FB. She's cute.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:41 am

Nice work, Dave! Agree with sancarlos.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Oct 30, 2014 9:49 am

Rush2112 wrote:Right on Dave!

If it can survive when you're half way across the world then she can survive you not making the bed!

Hope the kids are grand.

Excellent point. Great to hear in Dave.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:04 am

Yesterday afternoon I asked a girl (platonically and in person) if she wanted to go to a concert on Friday night because we had an extra ticket and had mutual friends going with us. She immediately said yes and seemed very excited. Great. Ticket is taken care of,

Last night, she texted me to say that she was talking to someone and it wasn't fair to either of us if she went to the concert. Uh, OK.

I texted her back and told her it was fine, but that there were no expectations attached to the invite at all. I imagine that was a bit awkward, as I didn't hear back.

And I've still got an extra ticket! Who wants to go?

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:19 am

Are any of the mutual friends an unattached lady?

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 9:22 am

Brontoburglar wrote:Yesterday afternoon I asked a girl (platonically and in person) if she wanted to go to a concert on Friday night because we had an extra ticket and had mutual friends going with us. She immediately said yes and seemed very excited. Great. Ticket is taken care of,

Last night, she texted me to say that she was talking to someone and it wasn't fair to either of us if she went to the concert. Uh, OK.

I texted her back and told her it was fine, but that there were no expectations attached to the invite at all. I imagine that was a bit awkward, as I didn't hear back.

And I've still got an extra ticket! Who wants to go?

Cool, when does this episode air?

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:43 am

rass wrote:Are any of the mutual friends an unattached lady?

Nope. I'll be more clear next time.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:43 am

Ryan wrote:
Brontoburglar wrote:Yesterday afternoon I asked a girl (platonically and in person) if she wanted to go to a concert on Friday night because we had an extra ticket and had mutual friends going with us. She immediately said yes and seemed very excited. Great. Ticket is taken care of,

Last night, she texted me to say that she was talking to someone and it wasn't fair to either of us if she went to the concert. Uh, OK.

I texted her back and told her it was fine, but that there were no expectations attached to the invite at all. I imagine that was a bit awkward, as I didn't hear back.

And I've still got an extra ticket! Who wants to go?
Cool, when does this episode air?

Next fall!

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:55 am

Brontoburglar wrote:Yesterday afternoon I asked a girl (platonically and in person) if she wanted to go to a concert on Friday night because we had an extra ticket and had mutual friends going with us. She immediately said yes and seemed very excited. Great. Ticket is taken care of,

Last night, she texted me to say that she was talking to someone and it wasn't fair to either of us if she went to the concert. Uh, OK.

I texted her back and told her it was fine, but that there were no expectations attached to the invite at all. I imagine that was a bit awkward, as I didn't hear back.

And I've still got an extra ticket! Who wants to go?

That's fuckin' insane.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 10:58 am

I imagine Bronto's stories are going to get more intresting after his appearance on Say Yes to the Dress.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:04 am

That's so weird. Mutual friends are there, what's there to be awkward about?

Is she scared that she can't control herself in front of your hotness and will embarrass herself in front of her friends?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:11 am

degenerasian wrote:That's so weird. Mutual friends are there, what's there to be awkward about?

Is she scared that she can't control herself in front of your hotness and will embarrass herself in front of her friends?

I think she is embarrassed for her mutual friends to see her with Bronto. Or she has an insanely jealous boyfriend.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Dec 03, 2014 12:35 pm

Or she's just a fucking idiot.

Stay away. Insecurity is ugly as sin.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 4:17 am

Unfortunately, it is nothing like this in Europe.

And in other news, I've learned that if I ever do get married we're getting separate beds. Not because of some retro throwback to 1950's Americana, but because when I have a bed large enough for two people to comfortably sleep in with space left over, I simply cannot tolerate being woken up because I'm about to fall off of one side due to being overcuddled. This is exacerbated by my having to sleep with a CPAP machine.