Real or The Onion?

Okay . . . let's try this again.

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Real or The Onion?

Post by brian »

I missed this thread and this is the perfect link to bring it back:

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by ZMan »

That's some dedication. He 'roided up for games he wasn't even participating in.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Steve of phpBB »

Did they make it to the other side?
And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian »

Steve of phpBB wrote:Did they make it to the other side?
Of all people, Steve, I expected you to have some sympathy...
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by DSafetyGuy »

The Sybian wrote:
Steve of phpBB wrote:Did they make it to the other side?
Of all people, Steve, I expected you to have some sympathy...
Why, were the chickens on bikes?
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Scottie »

DSafetyGuy wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
Steve of phpBB wrote:Did they make it to the other side?
Of all people, Steve, I expected you to have some sympathy...
Why, were the chickens on bikes?
Straight as boom.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Pruitt »

"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Sabo »

Birds don’t suck. They lack the necessary anatomical structures to do so.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnnie »

Well, it looks like BOTH. (This is from 2008.)

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard »

Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

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Re: Real or The Onion?

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"Recently insured man can't wait to get out there and start injuring himself." Best ad ever.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by testuser2 »

Michigan man throws a party
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by sancarlos »

"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass »

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Shirley »

I honestly can't tell if that's real or not.
Totally Kafkaesque
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by A_B »

You know what you need? A lyrical sucker punch to the face.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass »

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Brontoburglar »

15-Year-Old Duchess Of McComb, AL Announces Pregnancy

I just laughed really, really, really hard.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by brian »

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Do people who browse Uproxx have such delicate sensibilities that they can't handle seeing the word "shit" in print?
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by brian »

Johnny Carwash wrote:Do people who browse Uproxx have such delicate sensibilities that they can't handle seeing the word "shit" in print?
That was a close second in my list of favorite things about that article.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Christmas At Home With The Family Ruined By Family
RESEARCHERS at the International Research Institute of Studies for International Research Studies have confirmed that the vast majority of Christmases spent at home with the family is absolutely fucking ruined by families.
(Irish Onion equivalent)
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Jerloma »

Auburn woman files federal case against all homosexuals


An Auburn woman calling herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus Christ, filed a federal lawsuit Friday against all homosexuals.

Sylvia Driskell, 66, said in the suit that she is petitioning the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard "in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?"

In a seven-page letter framed as a lawsuit, she cited Bible passages that described homosexuality as an abomination and against nature, and she said never before has the nation or the state been "besiege(d) by sin."

"Will all the judges of this nation judge God to be a lier [sic]?" Driskell asked.

She said she petitioned the court because she feels it imperative to stand up for the moral principles on which the nation was founded.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by tennbengal »

Jerloma wrote:Auburn woman files federal case against all homosexuals


An Auburn woman calling herself an ambassador for God and his son, Jesus Christ, filed a federal lawsuit Friday against all homosexuals.

Sylvia Driskell, 66, said in the suit that she is petitioning the U.S. District Court of Omaha to be heard "in the matter of homosexuality. Is homosexuality a sin, or not a sin?"

In a seven-page letter framed as a lawsuit, she cited Bible passages that described homosexuality as an abomination and against nature, and she said never before has the nation or the state been "besiege(d) by sin."

"Will all the judges of this nation judge God to be a lier [sic]?" Driskell asked.

She said she petitioned the court because she feels it imperative to stand up for the moral principles on which the nation was founded.
You should cross-post this to the politics thread, Carson or Huckabee may have found their VP.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard »

or at least their attorney general
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by tennbengal »

howard wrote:or at least their attorney general
Like.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Jerloma »

I'm not a lawyer, and I'm completely partial to the female form in matters of sexual attraction, but I would actually pay $ for the opportunity to represent the defense if that thing ever went to court.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by govmentchedda »

Until everything is less insane, I'm mixing weed with wine.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass »

Bud
Light
Lime
Lemonade
-arita
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian »

rass wrote:Bud
Light
Lime
Lemonade
-arita
To the Craft Beer Thread! It has to be better than the Bud Strawber-ita.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Gunpowder »

Whatever, this guy did the same thing a few months back:

http://www.naplesnews.com/news/crime/95 ... -the-wheel" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Johnny Carwash »

Actual African guy politely explains why he and his people don't particularly give a shit if a lion dies.
In my village in Zimbabwe, surrounded by wildlife conservation areas, no lion has ever been beloved, or granted an affectionate nickname. They are objects of terror.
The American tendency to romanticize animals that have been given actual names and to jump onto a hashtag train has turned an ordinary situation — there were 800 lions legally killed over a decade by well-heeled foreigners who shelled out serious money to prove their prowess — into what seems to my Zimbabwean eyes an absurdist circus.
PETA is calling for the hunter to be hanged. Zimbabwean politicians are accusing the United States of staging Cecil’s killing as a “ploy” to make our country look bad. And Americans who can’t find Zimbabwe on a map are applauding the nation’s demand for the extradition of the dentist, unaware that a baby elephant was reportedly slaughtered for our president’s most recent birthday banquet.

We Zimbabweans are left shaking our heads, wondering why Americans care more about African animals than about African people.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard »

He sure understands Americans; he must've paid attention the five years he lived in the US.
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

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Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by rass »

I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by howard »

there is some valid internal logic to that. but still
Who knows? Maybe, you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away and held for ransom.

Those days are gone forever
Over a long time ago
Oh yeah…
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by The Sybian »

howard wrote:there is some valid internal logic to that. but still
I wouldn't be remotely surprised if the Onion article was the source of the idea within Carson's camp. I would think refusing to let them into the US based on misguided racist beliefs would color their judgment of the US, but what do I know.
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Re: Real or The Onion?

Post by Pruitt »

This Is Enough To Make Me A Huckabee Supporter

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