NFL Offseason Thread
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
The Broncos should really try and talk Michael Roos out of retirement for a season...
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Honestly think I could do this no problem.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
That has to be pretty damn hard. When fielding a punt that ball isn't coming straight down. Very impressive. And no j-lo, you probably couldn't do it. But I would pay money to see you put up a vine of you trying.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Anyone have a drone I could borrow?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Guy I used to work with does. I will see if he would be willing to ship it to you.
To quote both Bruce Prichard and Tony Schiavone, "Fuck Duff Meltzer."
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Jerlomes, I bet that if I punted you a ball 5 times you wouldn't catch more than 2.
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
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Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.
Pack a vest for your james in the city of intercourse
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
It's not like you only have .03 seconds to catch it. Saying he only has that much time is ridiculous since his hands are already prepared to catch it before it get in the catch zone. It's just a matter of lining yourself up.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
If and when this attempt ever happens, please promise me it will be recorded for posterity.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Well, yeah. You think I'm going to break a world record and not record it?
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Trying to break/debunk a Steeler's world record would merely be the coup de grace.mister d wrote:I of course don't want you to die, but if you were to die, this would be how I'd want you to die.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Pretty expensive too, if it was high grade.Gunpowder wrote:Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Nice!DC47 wrote:Pretty expensive too, if it was high grade.Gunpowder wrote:Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
It's all in motion, fellas.
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - God
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Make it a horseshoe and I'm in for the PPV
he’s a fixbking cyborg or some shit. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
holy fuckbAllZ, what a ducking nightmare. Holy shot. Just, fuck. The
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Link?Gunpowder wrote:Catching a pair of keys in a sock from 13 floors up was so much harder than I would have ever guessed.
"What a bunch of pedantic pricks." - sybian
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I'm torn between feeling really bad for him and thinking he made the most predictably stupid move people seem to commonly make and adding a JPowPowpowpowpowpow joke.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
A co-worker*'s buddy's friend's (father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate) claims to have been in the ER when JPP came in, and sent my co-worker some pictures. If this is all legit (I trust my co-worker, but who knows about the rest of the chain)...oh fuck. That hand, whoever it belonged to, was absolutely shredded.
*he's a Jets fan, so less likely his buddy was just trying to troll him
EDIT: And he is already walking it back. Just couldn't wait to come into work and show off some mutilation porn to his co-workers...
*he's a Jets fan, so less likely his buddy was just trying to troll him
EDIT: And he is already walking it back. Just couldn't wait to come into work and show off some mutilation porn to his co-workers...
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
It was someone's hand...
Though if next wave of reports from this morning are true, it most likely wasn't his.
Though if next wave of reports from this morning are true, it most likely wasn't his.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Reports are JPP had a finger amputated yesterday.
The author of the article speculates in the comments that the report could have come from JPP's people:
The author of the article speculates in the comments that the report could have come from JPP's people:
Actually, I’ll throw out there that it’s possible this wasn’t a holy-hell-sue-for-a-bazillion-dollars HIPAA violation. The information leaked to multiple “NFL insiders” pretty quickly: Schefter, Ian Rapoport, and Mike Garofolo, which sure implies the source is an agent or someone within JPP’s camp. And if it is someone like that, it’s quite possible they did the leak with JPP’s permission, heck maybe at his request.
That doesn’t completely vindicate everything, and relies heavily on reading between the tea leaves, but it is possible.
...
Maybe. Or just getting out ahead of bad news. After all, every tweet was quickly followed with reporting about how this “simplifies and accelerates his recovery” or how a medical source “expects him to play this season.” The positive spin came out almost as fast as the news itself.
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
mister d wrote:Couldn't have pegged me better.
EnochRoot wrote:I mean, whatever. Johnnie's all hot cuz I ride him.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I mean, I think we probably would have figured this one out on our own eventually, right?
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Isn't this Schefter image thing really over the line if its not coming from the JPP camp? Like the difference between "I can confirm Favre sent dick pics" and posting an image of Favre's dick?
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
You're in good company!mister d wrote:Isn't this Schefter image thing really over the line if its not coming from the JPP camp? Like the difference between "I can confirm Favre sent dick pics" and posting an image of Favre's dick?
I felt aswirl with warm secretions.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Serious question: What's the rule on prosthetics in the NFL? I know he wouldn't be allowed to play with some gigantic hammer or a large racket to use to block kicks grafted onto his nub, but can he use a replacement finger?
My avatar corresponds on my place in the Swamp posting list with the all-time Home Run list. Number 45 is Paul Konerko with 439.
Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Not going to pretend I know the answer to that, but I know players have been able to play with their hand wrapped as a club (because of a hand injury) so I suspect it's kosher.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I would doubt that a prosthetic would hold up in an NFL season. Based on me just assuming things.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I think a prosthetic would be more troublesome than just giving it the old nine-finger try.
Hold on, I'm trying to see if Jack London ever gets this fire built or not.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
I am hoping that JPP makes a full comeback - after his first sack, he could do the "reverse Mutumbo!"
That would be awesome.
That would be awesome.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
The ethical line can be debated, but it's clear the legal one was not crossed.mister d wrote:Isn't this Schefter image thing really over the line if its not coming from the JPP camp? Like the difference between "I can confirm Favre sent dick pics" and posting an image of Favre's dick?
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Yeah, I saw only the hospital leak (if one exists) would be liable for that, it just doesn't seem like the proper thing to do. Or necessary to do when "sources" is a way of life and his name (I think) carries some weight.
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Is the Supplemental Draft where the Seahawks get their Adderall?
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Greg Hardy suspension cut from 10 games to 4; NFL front office continues to be a clown show
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Re: NFL Offseason Thread
Didn't the Arbitrator take the league to task for penalizing players while ignoring precedents?
Basically making it up on the fly.
Basically making it up on the fly.
"beautiful, with an exotic-yet-familiar facial structure and an arresting gaze."