The Swamp

Work friend of my wife is about to give birth to twins - we went out to her house for a barbecue yesterday. Three couples, 40 minute drive to the western exurbs.

I know they have babies on the way, but when you invite people over for dinner, it's traditional to clean up a bit. It's one thing when the future nursery is under construction, but when there's no toilet paper in the bathroom?

And the wife is a vegetarian - which is all well and good. But when the barbecue consists of low budget veggie burgers and unseasoned barbecued red peppers and onions... well, thanks a lot.

The pregnant woman (wife's friend) is fun and bright, but the other three people were so dull that it was a welcome change when they discussed their co-workers. At least it kept the conversation away from the misadventures of the Kardashians. Icing on the cake is that the pregnant woman wasn't drinking, and her husband wasn't either (he'd been out with the boys the night before and was not up to beer). The other couple features a guy who has recently finished drug rehab, so his girlfriend (who is usually a real booze hag) sipped lemonade all night.

Was offered wine or beer, but there really was no point with this crowd.

So a sober, miserable night full of bad food and forced conversation. And yappy, skittish, awful chihuahuas.

Good times indeed!

Pruitt wrote:Work friend of my wife is about to give birth to twins - we went out to her house for a barbecue yesterday. Three couples, 40 minute drive to the western exurbs.

I know they have babies on the way, but when you invite people over for dinner, it's traditional to clean up a bit. It's one thing when the future nursery is under construction, but when there's no toilet paper in the bathroom?

And the wife is a vegetarian - which is all well and good. But when the barbecue consists of low budget veggie burgers and unseasoned barbecued red peppers and onions... well, thanks a lot.

The pregnant woman (wife's friend) is fun and bright, but the other three people were so dull that it was a welcome change when they discussed their co-workers. At least it kept the conversation away from the misadventures of the Kardashians. Icing on the cake is that the pregnant woman wasn't drinking, and her husband wasn't either (he'd been out with the boys the night before and was not up to beer). The other couple features a guy who has recently finished drug rehab, so his girlfriend (who is usually a real booze hag) sipped lemonade all night.

Was offered wine or beer, but there really was no point with this crowd.

So a sober, miserable night full of bad food and forced conversation. And yappy, skittish, awful chihuahuas.

Good times indeed!

Woof. That sounds miserable.

But it's made me stronger.

Even with the lack of protein?

Pruitt wrote: Was offered wine or beer, but there really was no point with this crowd.

So a sober, miserable night full of bad food and forced conversation. And yappy, skittish, awful chihuahuas.

Good times indeed!

You missed your out. Start drinking heavily. As the only person drinking, it would make your wife more uncomfortable with you drinking too much, so you wouldn't even need to get completely hammered for your wife to drag you out of there. Chew your leg off to get away, worry about the consequences later.

The Sybian wrote:

Pruitt wrote: Was offered wine or beer, but there really was no point with this crowd.

So a sober, miserable night full of bad food and forced conversation. And yappy, skittish, awful chihuahuas.

Good times indeed!

You missed your out. Start drinking heavily. As the only person drinking, it would make your wife more uncomfortable with you drinking too much, so you wouldn't even need to get completely hammered for your wife to drag you out of there. Chew your leg off to get away, worry about the consequences later.

That only works so many times before you have to find a new wife though.

Well, at the very least, I would have had a fair bit of liquor or beer.

brian wrote:

The Sybian wrote:

Pruitt wrote: Was offered wine or beer, but there really was no point with this crowd.

So a sober, miserable night full of bad food and forced conversation. And yappy, skittish, awful chihuahuas.

Good times indeed!

You missed your out. Start drinking heavily. As the only person drinking, it would make your wife more uncomfortable with you drinking too much, so you wouldn't even need to get completely hammered for your wife to drag you out of there. Chew your leg off to get away, worry about the consequences later.

That only works so many times before you have to find a new wife though.

Pruitt may take a new wife over having to endure that again.

Oh, my wife wasn't pleased either. She spent half of the 40 minute drive home wailing about the food choices... and about the fact that the only hand towel in the upstairs bathroom was damp when we arrived.

I forgot to mention that - despite the fact that they had a small yard and a small park across the road - the dogs used "Pee Pads" to relieve themselves. A small living room, so we were never more than 6 feet from said pads.

I'm no Emily Post, but I was certainly raised to feel that when guests arrive you should:

1) Clean up

2) prepare a choice of foods

3) not force them to watch dogs piss

brian wrote:
That only works so many times before you have to find a new wife though.

I take a view of marriage similar to BFJ's view on adopting a dog.

I met Kenny this weekend and he thought the car thing was hilarious. So (grabs balls).

If you had just told us from the beginning that he calls himself "Kenny"...

When I heard Caitlyn Jenner was on the cover of Vanity Fair I initially figured it was Bruce's daughter and my brain immediately moved on. Now, oh, it's (formerly) Bruce. OK.

Damn, I love Rass' avatars.

You should check out xtube

Gunpowder wrote:You should check out xtube

For Bruce Jenner? Or for Selma Hayak?

More of a lobstertube fan myself

If your profile photo on any social media outlet features you in mid-jump, you are an asshole.

Even dunking?

And long jumping. Right, Rerun Dave?

If you aren't long jumping in your profile pic, I don't want to know you.

I looked in vain for just that picture to post. Alas, another Swamp casualty.

brian wrote:I looked in vain for just that picture to post. Alas, another Swamp casualty.

You'd think I'd have it handy too, but I don't think I know where it (or any of the others in that set) are. The dude who took the pictures in high school had them online once upon a time, but no longer.

Johnny Carwash wrote:If your profile photo on any social media outlet features you in mid-jump, you are an asshole.

Even if I'm dressed as the Greatest American Hero?

Look at this ridiculous email chain over my manager's birthday. I can't with these people.

Me too! (Gulp, gulp… ahhhhhhhhhh)

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Great idea, Amy! I could use one too, thanks!!! Hahaha!!! Just kidding.

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She we go get her an ice coffee or something today?!?!?

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So can we tell her Happy Birthday or not?

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I told her we thought it was Friday and that I wasn’t sure where we got that date but it was obviously bad intel.

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Yes morning. Does she know , we know it’s her birthday today?

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Mary is only here half day tomorrow. Were we doing her cake in the morning? We are now. BTW her birthday is actually today. I will fix it on my calendar.

Shirley wrote:

brian wrote:I looked in vain for just that picture to post. Alas, another Swamp casualty.

You'd think I'd have it handy too, but I don't think I know where it (or any of the others in that set) are. The dude who took the pictures in high school had them online once upon a time, but no longer.

rass probably has a copy on his hard drive somewhere.

Yeah right.

Though I did find these:









I was never entirely sure if that last one was who I thought it was, though I grabbed it from a profile picture off her blog or something.

Other random crap (other than a forgotten stash of Salma pictures):

Fucking prolific (that apparently was taken on 12/13/07):


DTP were out celebrating, too:


I can't even remember if I made this or not (I did have the separate frames saved, so maybe?), but it's pretty funny:

Either I've never seen that or it was long enough ago that I was able to have that first time seeing it enjoyment a second time.

mister d wrote:Either I've never seen that or it was long enough ago that I was able to have that first time seeing it enjoyment a second time.

I really think I'd remember that.

It's from 10/27/11, if that helps.

Coincides with the 2011 World Series (specifically the legendary Game 6), though can't imagine what that had to do with anything there.

Every time now that I look at Sybian's avatar I'm picturing Arsenal being managed by Ghost Rider.

brian wrote:Coincides with the 2011 World Series (specifically the legendary Game 6), though can't imagine what that had to do with anything there.

So it should have been Ron Washington shitting himself.

i miss the aofg blog.

I remember that pic of IsItStinky. She looked like she could be related to ScarJo.

Bigger question: Who saved the profile pic of BlueDevlyn?

Johnnie wrote:I remember that pic of IsItStinky. She looked like she could be related to ScarJo.

Bigger question: Who saved the profile pic of BlueDevlyn?

I have this:

Johnnie wrote:I remember that pic of IsItStinky. She looked like she could be related to ScarJo.

Bigger question: Who saved the profile pic of BlueDevlyn?

Not me. But, that was a crazy day in the Swamp. She sent me a couple interesting pm messages. She was clearly looking for a man.

I seem to remember we jokingly discussed taking up a collection to fly Johnnie out to see her.

sancarlos wrote:

Johnnie wrote:I remember that pic of IsItStinky. She looked like she could be related to ScarJo.

Bigger question: Who saved the profile pic of BlueDevlyn?

Not me. But, that was a crazy day in the Swamp. She sent me a couple interesting pm messages. She was clearly looking for a man.

I seem to remember we jokingly discussed taking up a collection to fly Johnnie out to see her.

I didn't think we were joking about sending our favorite mistaken black Swamper for the booty call. Those were great times

Johnnie wrote:I remember that pic of IsItStinky. She looked like she could be related to ScarJo.

Is that really her? Looks more like Emma Watson. That can't really be her.

Johnnie wrote:Bigger question: Who saved the profile pic of BlueDevlyn?

Yes. I posted it once for some reason, and really pissed some people off. Maybe it was an avatar and because it showed up in SFW threads. Never know when you need this for a laugh.