Bathroom Etiquette

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:44 pm

tennbengal wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:I bet you guys hate trough urinals also.
Stepping over a dude to get to the bowl to piss seems sub-optimal.

You could just casually walk behind him too.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:46 pm

If there is a line, I go in. No line, I wait.

If I'm the first one in, I'm locking the door unless, again, there is a line.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:50 pm

Double up at a bar. And if you're waiting outside, strike up a conversation with the guy behind you letting him know how open you are to sharing the bathroom, just so he doesn't feel uncomfortable.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 12:50 pm

rass wrote:If there is a line, I go in. No line, I wait.

If I'm the first one in, I'm locking the door unless, again, there is a line.

See, I think it's as simple as that. If you think that someone peeing behind you infringes upon your privacy...lock the fucking door. This place is a phenomenon though. Nobody ever goes in...they will wait and wait. Then they go in, and don't lock the door. Why the fuck leave that decision to someone else if you don't want them coming in?

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:21 pm

What is there, 3 feet between a dude standing at the urinal and the sink?

You're probably closer to a dude when urinals are in the conventional side-by-side configuration than the set-up in this photo.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:26 pm

I'd use the toilet, but drop my pants and underwear to the floor like a little kid. Just to make the guy at the urinal really uncomfortable as he tries not to laugh.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:30 pm

If its me, I'd die. I'm horrible at not laughing in those types of settings when someone farts, let alone when its intentional like your idea.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 1:39 pm

I'd go in and sit-pee.

On the urinal.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:03 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote:I'd go in and sit-pee.

On the urinal.

I've always wanted to shit in a urinal. And if anyone walked in, I'd pretend to be foreign and not understand the social norm. I also wanted to shit on a display toilet in a store, until Jackass did it. That bit cracks me up every time. Just the nonchalant way he sat there reading a newspaper. I'm laughing just thinking about that. And the car up the pooper and the doctor trying not to laugh.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:07 pm

You know they have urinals outside of America, right?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Mar 11, 2015 2:16 pm

mister d wrote:You know they have urinals outside of America, right?

Not in my hypothetical country. That would have been a great Borat bit.

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Mar 24, 2015 11:10 am

This seems like a good place for this.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:01 pm

My deputy commander threw a hissy fit today.

While the entire wing was airpowering hard and engaging in forced camaraderie, the bathrooms in my large squadron with 20-something total people were "too unclean."

In Europe they use less water and a design to toilets that guarantees shit streaks on the bowl every single time. So, someone forgot to brush the bowl after he used it. Also, some paper towels were on the floor next to the overflowing trash can. Oh no!

So, my deputy commander locks both of the men's bathrooms and puts a note on the door that says "Until you learn to clean up after yourself, you are not going to use this. And the women's bathroom is off limits." (I'll have to snap a pic, really.)

So, who shows up at their pre arranged time after these doors have been locked? The contracted out cleaning crew. They couldn't clean these abominably dirty bathrooms. Another person ended up doing so in about 5 minutes. Some sweeping, some quick brushing, and some windexing and everything was fine. This is the Air Force.

And this dude is the most chill person too. He has that Don Draper aloofness and never gets angry. Well, after today I'm completely rethinking my respect for him.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:08 pm

What's the penalty if you'd peed your pants right there?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Jul 28, 2015 2:13 pm

I'd drive home and not come back before I pissed myself in protest. Plus there's a completely separate handicapped bathroom. He can't lock that. We all just shook our heads trying to figure out what the fucking point was. Usually you just tell a senior member to round up the troops and have what we call a "G.I party." Not today, however.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 7:24 am

Cross-posted to Cube Life:

We have a breakfast meeting just about every Friday, and each week a team member is responsible for bringing food. Most weeks it's bagels, but sometimes someone will bake something.

Anyway, one of the chronic bakers just cleared out of the shitter without washing his hands. He last brought about a month ago, and made homemade donuts. They were pretty good, though the chocolate with the cocoa/chili pepper glaze were log shaped.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Jul 31, 2015 8:34 am

Thanks giff.

I think he beat me to the bagels this morning, but I was hungry, so.... Plus there are a couple of used band-aids lying in the middle of the kitchen floor. I'm going to start referring to it as Rio.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Aug 01, 2015 5:25 am

I posted a while ago about a student of mine who took a dump and walked out holding a sub and din't wash his hands. Don't think he was eating while in the stall, but still...

Think of this: if some guys don't wash their hands after they take a shit WHILE THEY KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE THEY SEE REGULARLY IN THE WASHROOM, just imagine what they are like at home.

Or don't...

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:52 am

Narrow Gaps In Bathroom Stall Doors To Be Widened Monday

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:51 am

POOP ON FLOOR

POOP ON FLOOR

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:02 am

Christ, how many people work where you do?

I'd walk out in the middle of the friggen floor and tell whoever did that to come get their ass kicking in front of everyone. You work with someone who has dead bodies hidden.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:07 am

If I thought I could get a coworker to burst out of the bathroom and challenge the entire floor to a fight over poop, I might consider doing it myself.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:34 am

So, rass and mr. d work together. Mystery solved.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:44 am

And I'm working at home right now sooo ...

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:36 am

Someone cleaned up, but smeared it across the floor in doing so.

More likely scenario: pissed off building custodian who was too angry to do a thorough job, or some random good Samaritan?

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 11:39 am

rass wrote:Someone cleaned up, but smeared it across the floor in doing so.

More likely scenario: pissed off building custodian who was too angry to do a thorough job, or some random good Samaritan?

Refugee

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:43 pm

rass wrote:Someone cleaned up, but smeared it across the floor in doing so.

More likely scenario: pissed off building custodian who was too angry to do a thorough job, or some random good Samaritan?

Who at your workplace thinks their job includes picking up metaphorical crap, much less the literal kind?

tennbengal · Post by **tennbengal** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:52 pm

rass wrote:Someone cleaned up, but smeared it across the floor in doing so.

Christie.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:13 pm

tennbengal wrote:
rass wrote:Someone cleaned up, but smeared it across the floor in doing so.
Christie.

Christie created the shit, blamed it on his underlings, then did a half-assed job of cleaning it up.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:24 pm

(Then pointed at his wife.)

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:11 pm

The bathroom at work has 2 stalls. I walk in behind a guy and one of the stalls is taken. He heads to the sink to wash his hands so I can take the open stall right? He can't be mad that I didn't wait to see what he was doing.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:24 pm

Fuck no he can’t.

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:41 pm

The posts are coming from INSIDE THE BATHROOM!

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 12:59 pm

degenerasian wrote:The bathroom at work has 2 stalls. I walk in behind a guy and one of the stalls is taken. He heads to the sink to wash his hands so I can take the open stall right? He can't be mad that I didn't wait to see what he was doing.

Wow you are very polite just to ask the question. (Could have posted in the "Most Canadian Thing Every" thread.) Of course you don't have to wait.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:20 pm

"Ooo sore-ry Gord you gotta poop?"

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:21 pm

sancarlos wrote:
degenerasian wrote:The bathroom at work has 2 stalls. I walk in behind a guy and one of the stalls is taken. He heads to the sink to wash his hands so I can take the open stall right? He can't be mad that I didn't wait to see what he was doing.

Wow you are very polite just to ask the question. (Could have posted in the "Most Canadian Thing Every" thread.) Of course you don't have to wait.

We will just assume you said "sore-ee" as you took the stall.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 1:22 pm

Ha. High five, Syb.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 2:01 pm

I did not ask the question. When I took the stall he cursed and walked out.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:22 pm

degenerasian wrote:I did not ask the question. When I took the stall he cursed and walked out.

Well, that falls under the legal concept of "You Snooze, You Lose".

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:24 pm

Clearly had the procedure confused.