The Swamp

Big meeting, you guys. Wish me luck

I'm sure you'll be able to provide what they need.

Looks like I might be firing my first employee today. Put 45 hours in last week when I was on PTO and didn't do a damn thing. In fact, hadn't logged-in to SalesForce since 12/21 and put time that week too.

Any history or any layers between you and them where they may have gotten an implicit "no one does much this week" message gone awry?

Oh no. Everyone else in his position did their job. It's a support team where he's taking e-mails/calls. Those who were there did normal numbers. There's no possible project he could've been working on and when I asked if he could explain why the report said he touched zero cases (which led me to finding out he hadn't logged-in), his response was "I'm not sure".

Found evidence he hadn't done anything between 12/8-1/3. Hoping to fast track it to let him go today since apparently we don't fire people on Fridays.

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:44 am Found evidence he hadn't done anything between 12/8-1/3. Hoping to fast track it to let him go today since apparently we don't fire people on Fridays.

Hmm. This goes against everything the Bobs taught me. Isn't there an accounting error you can just fix?

I will admit, there have been stretches where I've really pushed the limits of slackery, but... Never in a situation where it's so incredibly easy to track like this. That seems like a guy going through some shit.

Not saying you shouldn't shitcan the guy, but is there any value in trying to talk to him and see if he's going through a depressive bout our something?

/softbullshit

Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 10:10 am I will admit, there have been stretches where I've really pushed the limits of slackery, but... Never in a situation where it's so incredibly easy to track like this. That seems like a guy going through some shit.

Not saying you shouldn't shitcan the guy, but is there any value in trying to talk to him and see if he's going through a depressive bout our something?

/softbullshit

I'm curious to hear the excuse he comes up with. Tell him if he is honest with you on the reasoning, you'll let him keep his job. If he tells he just wasn't doing any work, fire him and say you lied when you granted him immunity, like he lied to you.

His response was he did work those days. He didn't offer a single excuse other than saying he did. I doubt SalesForce is lying, but it should be very easy to show which cases he worked last week if he did. When I look, there's a gap between 20 hours ago and 12/7. Coming up on 120 minutes since we asked him to send us evidence and nada.

He's not a good fit anyway, so this is actually good news for me. Dealing with him was my #2 stress for the beginning of the year, so I'm happy he's given me an out.

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 11:15 am His response was he did work those days. He didn't offer a single excuse other than saying he did. I doubt SalesForce is lying, but it should be very easy to show which cases he worked last week if he did. When I look, there's a gap between 20 hours ago and 12/7. Coming up on 120 minutes since we asked him to send us evidence and nada.

He's not a good fit anyway, so this is actually good news for me. Dealing with him was my #2 stress for the beginning of the year, so I'm happy he's given me an out.

Just make sure you document all the issues you've had with him. We usually recommend Performance Improvement Plans, but if he is lying about not doing work for that long after giving him a chance to show he worked, I'd approve.

Giff, you're going to feel bad when they still throw you that big surprise party he worked so hard on tomorrow.

Now that's fucking funny.

Giff you'll have to tell me who your HR partner is... especially if you're successful.. HR =PITA

Epilogue: He's being let go at 3.

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 2:09 pm Epilogue: He's being let go at 3.

Live streaming it on Twitch?

"Giff to Office Slacker: 'Beat it, Bozo'"

Sooo ... is this when we start checking in with Giff?

He cried, it was awkward, I did great on my first firing.

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:25 pm He cried, it was awkward, I did great on my first firing.

Did he admit he was slacking off?

Sabo wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:59 pm

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:25 pm He cried, it was awkward, I did great on my first f*ing.

Did he admit he was *acking off?

New game?

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:25 pm He cried, it was awkward, I did great on my first firing.

It doesn't hurt as much the second time.

Sabo wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:59 pm

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 5:25 pm He cried, it was awkward, I did great on my first firing.

Did he admit he was slacking off?

He stuck with his story. The only specific examples he gave of cases he worked were from yesterday and today. He said he messaged other teammates in Teams when one of those teammates he referenced told me separately they thought it was weird they didn't hear from him at all last week.

Still such a weird move from this guy. I know it happens all the time, but, again... When you're in a system where ppl can monitor you like that... just bizarre.

Yeah, you can't bill hours and slack off, that shit is monitored.

I'm salary, I can slack off all i want, that's different.

He's newer so I haven't been going over his metrics with him as we focused on training him up (which was longer than the other people we've brought in recently and he's actually been with the company in another role, so should have had a big head start on them). He may have truly thought I wasn't tracking that for some reason. He was just now going to be compared to others in his area when I noticed the 0 touches which opened up a can of worms.

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 2:09 pm Epilogue: He's being let go at 3.

Manàged at trois

Ryan wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 8:53 pm

Giff wrote: ↑Thu Jan 06, 2022 2:09 pm Epilogue: He's being let go at 3.

Manàged at trois

Slow clap

I just joined a meeting and waited about five minutes for the host UNTIL I REALIZED THE HOST WAS IN MY OFFICE.

Giff wrote: ↑Wed Jan 19, 2022 12:52 pm I just joined a meeting and waited about five minutes for the host UNTIL I REALIZED THE HOST WAS IN MY OFFICE.

Gonna guess you uttered your signature when you realized that.

Hahaha yup.

I had a Zoom team meeting yesterday and my manager wanted me to present a recent sexual harassment investigation I completed. It was bizarre for a number of reasons but had some hilarious lines. My manager is the best, she sent me text telling me to bring my sense of humor to the presentation and said she trusts my judgment on knowing where the line is, but to feel free to get close to the line. I was looking forward to it until a coworker joined the video meeting with her pre-school aged daughter on her lap in a princess costume. I debated what level of jokes I could make, thinking the girl is too young to realize jokes are inappropriate. I just couldn't say some of the things I planned while looking at a toddler in a Snow White costume.

Weird on the parents for having her there for that call?

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Wed Jan 19, 2022 3:41 pm Weird on the parents for having her there for that call?

I don't think anyone else knew the content of the meeting, but I think it's very weird to have your kid on your lap on a video conference regardless of the content of the meeting. My manager makes a point of telling us when she is unavailable at an appointment or school play during the day because she wants us to feel it's OK, but I thought that coworker pushed it into unacceptable range. I'd bet money our manager makes a point of saying how great it was to see the kid to make the coworker feel ok about it. I've started several of these meetings on the phone in my car picking up my kids at school, so I get it. So appreciative of my kids being older during the pandemic and not requiring much attention during the day.

Man I just had one of those instances of a 3rd-party vendor saying something so stupid that, without any previous marks against, I gotta just shake my head and walk away. Any response I give will either be condescending or just further spiral the stupidity. Pretty impressive feat, actually.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:37 am Man I just had one of those instances of a 3rd-party vendor saying something so stupid that, without any previous marks against, I gotta just shake my head and walk away. Any response I give will either be condescending or just further spiral the stupidity. Pretty impressive feat, actually.

Was it an Adobe rep? I found some Adobe reps to be idiots and/or blatant liars.

"Its actually very easy and not at all frustrating to edit your PDFed version of an excel file!"

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:58 am "Its actually very easy and not at all frustrating to edit your PDFed version of an excel file!"

It was more like "we're not going to increase the cost of your licensing more than 3 percent" but they didn't mention they required us to add Adobe stock art to our contract. That increased the cost of our licensing to something like 8 or 9 percent. And we never used a single piece of Adobe stock art because we already had a great deal with Getty.

I absolutely loathe Adobe.

Sabo wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:39 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:37 am Man I just had one of those instances of a 3rd-party vendor saying something so stupid that, without any previous marks against, I gotta just shake my head and walk away. Any response I give will either be condescending or just further spiral the stupidity. Pretty impressive feat, actually.

Was it an Adobe rep? I found some Adobe reps to be idiots and/or blatant liars.

Thankfully, no, as with this vendor there's plenty of others that provide the same service. Makes it easy to walk.

Sabo wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 11:02 am

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:58 am "Its actually very easy and not at all frustrating to edit your PDFed version of an excel file!"

It was more like "we're not going to increase the cost of your licensing more than 3 percent" but they didn't mention they required us to add Adobe stock art to our contract. That increased the cost of our licensing to something like 8 or 9 percent. And we never used a single piece of Adobe stock art because we already had a great deal with Getty.

I absolutely loathe Adobe.

I think we're all on individual plans at our office because there's literally no incentive to join their group plan.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 11:06 am

Sabo wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 11:02 am

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Jan 20, 2022 10:58 am "Its actually very easy and not at all frustrating to edit your PDFed version of an excel file!"

It was more like "we're not going to increase the cost of your licensing more than 3 percent" but they didn't mention they required us to add Adobe stock art to our contract. That increased the cost of our licensing to something like 8 or 9 percent. And we never used a single piece of Adobe stock art because we already had a great deal with Getty.

I absolutely loathe Adobe.

I think we're all on individual plans at our office because there's literally no incentive to join their group plan.

My former employer is owned by another larger media company (where Mister D works), and we all shared the same Adobe contract. All together, there were more than 1,000 Adobe licenses in that contract. You would think we'd get beneficial pricing. Nope. In fact, our average license cost was substantially higher than the retail price for a single Adobe license. But that's what happens when a vendor has a monopoly on its market.