The Swamp

The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:41 pm

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:35 pm Oh my god, you're insane, Syb. I could never do that.

It's so much easier than trying to come up with a line. If you need a line, tell her if she liked your huge dick in her dream, you are ready to disappoint the fuck out of her.

Or you could just say, "hey, have you heard I'm now single? Want to grab a drink Saturday night?"

Well, I'm not technically single and she's still here for another couple of weeks anyway but again...what if I'm wrong? When did you nerds gather up all this confidence?

If you need a clever line how about something simple like “I bet you were fantastic and HUGE too”?

I don't get it.

Also, even though that 100k in the market should be able to beat a 3.5% mortgage rate, I really don't think I have the income right now to pay two mortgages and not be strapped.

It was a “big vagina” joke.

And you might not have the income, but you do have the savings, so you have to figure out if the projected market gains outpace the interest payments you’d be making if you dipped in.

(I could model that out for you tomorrow if it’s of interest. Consider it a prepayment for the content you’ll be providing?)

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:00 pm When did you nerds gather up all this confidence?

As soon as I was married and advising other people. Actually, when I moved to NYC and the fish started jumping into the boat. Swinging and missing like Rob Deer doesn't hurt when you have dates with 4 girls already lined up.

Unless you work with this woman or she is a close relative you'll have to see at Christmas, if you are wrong, so what? She already told you she dreamed that you were fucking her with your huge cock. Asking her out is 1000 times less awkward/embarrassing then saying you dreamed about fucking her if it is shot down.

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:16 pm (I could model that out for you tomorrow if it’s of interest. Consider it a prepayment for the content you’ll be providing?)

Thanks. I'll let you know after I get a rate quote from the Quickens. I'm guessing that would be a significant piece of your analysis.

Unless you work with this woman or she is a close relative you'll have to see at Christmas, if you are wrong, so what? She already told you she dreamed that you were fucking her with your huge cock. Asking her out is 1000 times less awkward/embarrassing then saying you dreamed about fucking her if it is shot down.

Neither of those things. I haven't even seen her in years other than Facefuck, and when you lay it out that way it makes all the sense, and yet I'm still terrified.

Never gonna sleep tonight.

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:01 pm

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:16 pm (I could model that out for you tomorrow if it’s of interest. Consider it a prepayment for the content you’ll be providing?)

Thanks. I'll let you know after I get a rate quote from the Quickens. I'm guessing that would be a significant piece of your analysis.

Unless you work with this woman or she is a close relative you'll have to see at Christmas, if you are wrong, so what? She already told you she dreamed that you were fucking her with your huge cock. Asking her out is 1000 times less awkward/embarrassing then saying you dreamed about fucking her if it is shot down.

Neither of those things. I haven't even seen her in years other than Facefuck, and when you lay it out that way it makes all the sense, and yet I'm still terrified.

Never gonna sleep tonight.

That's kind of a thing on the first date too, btw.

Dating has really changed from when you were 22.

So two things:

1) Don't fuck anyone til your papers are signed. You'd hate for something to go sideways, lawyers get involved and now you got infidelity on there.

2) This would require a number crunch as well, but what about the possibility of not only taking the money out of the brokerage to buy her out, but also to pay off the remaining balance of the house. Then be SUPER-disciplined and pay your mortgage amount back into a retirement account(s) as fast as possible. That way you don't risk cash-flow issues associated with two mortgages and if things got really bad you'd have a free and clear house to liquidate and move into soemthing smaller. Obviously the interest rate considerations will apply since earning 1% a month on $1000 is worse than on $100k, but in my experience often cash flow is a more pressing matter than the interest rate differentials. So long as you're not retiring in less than 100 months (I'm assuming 1000/month mortgage in this scenario but your mileage will vary) - you may end up coming up just the same as you would if you take out a second mortgage. Especially if every once in a while you chucked a bit more into the savings/investment accounts to cover some of that interest loss. There are also tax considerations since there are limits on what you can put in an individual IRA-type account.

Sounds like the line is already forming for 'loma. I think a simple.... "Wanna Netflix and Chill after I get the papers signed?" will get the point across.

testuser2 wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:13 am Sounds like the line is already forming for 'loma. I think a simple.... "Wanna Netflix and Chill after I get the papers signed?" will get the point across.

"After I get the papers signed" is a golden, once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully) play. It's safe but communicates DTF-ness. I'd go for 'celebratory drinks' but whatever.

But maybe don't try to talk like a teen?

1) Don't fuck anyone til your papers are signed. You'd hate for something to go sideways, lawyers get involved and now you got infidelity on there.

Buzzkill. I know, but she's already got that and I won't use it for leverage or ever let the kids find out so I'm certain she wouldn't...especially at this point.

Your financial plan is actually what I wanted to do, so you could imagine my surprise at the suggestion to not only pay off my mortgage (80), but take out a second to pay her. But again...what do I know. I am worried about the income though. She was the bread winner. I'm just happy I don't have to dissolve her debt. That's why I'm not asking for child support but she'd get killed in this scenario.

But maybe don't try to talk like a teen?

Or Jewish Paulie V up there.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:23 pm

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:51 pm Lives with someone but can't stand him.

That settles it, she was totally throwing you a green light. Don't worry about a witty line, just say you are DTF. She has a boyfriend, she isn't looking to be romanced or date, she just wants to fuck, and a witty line isn't going to open that door.

Life is so much easier when we are doing it for someone else.

Out of curiosity, why do you want to keep the house?

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:34 pm Out of curiosity, why do you want to keep the house?

That nostalgic skunk smell.

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:34 pm Out of curiosity, why do you want to keep the house?

Maintain a sense of normalcy for the kids and I just spent over 30k on renovating downstairs and it's super-nice.

I meant why you over her but I guess that makes sense.

Did you consider having the parents switch in and out of the house rather than the kids go back and forth? Our nextdoor neighbors are going through the same thing and we decided that would probably make a lot of sense. Completely unrealistic?

She's inundated with debt so buying me out of the house is not an option.

Yeah...kinda unrealistic.

Because once you're in a divorce situation an ongoing cohabitation isn't realistic? We figured that might be the flaw in the logic.

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:09 pm Because once you're in a divorce situation an ongoing cohabitation isn't realistic? We figured that might be the flaw in the logic.

I'm guessing that's basically been the case for a while now and that's why they're doing what they're doing.

That might be part of the genesis as well. We've only been in our house for 1.5 years and these people bought after us. Weird situation.

Yeah, and where she's gonna be, I could still hit her with a football from my front yard, so I'm even a little worried about that, but again, so much better for the kids.

Jerloma wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:23 pm Yeah, and where she's gonna be, I could still hit her with a football from my front yard, so I'm even a little worried about that, but again, so much better for the kids.

That could still be a fair distance, Uncle Rico.

Ooo, I have another question, this one applies to a family member in the same situation. How did you determine the basis for splitting the house? Appraisal? Realtor assessment?

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:31 pm Ooo, I have another question, this one applies to a family member in the same situation. How did you determine the basis for splitting the house? Appraisal? Realtor assessment?

For your sake, hopefully an outdated county assessment. For the fairest, a true appraisal (which will include your 30k upgrades, probably).

mister d wrote: ↑Thu Feb 08, 2018 1:31 pm Ooo, I have another question, this one applies to a family member in the same situation. How did you determine the basis for splitting the house? Appraisal? Realtor assessment?

Mortgage assessment.

Yeah, you know what though, AB, some people have told me that losing a garage actually decreases the value of a house, but I can't for the life of me think that I what I did decreased the value of my house. I also turned a half bath into a full and the office has two windows and a closet so could technically be sold as a 4th bedroom. I mean, I completely gutted 900 square feet. Nothing isn't brand new.

I'm not saying you lost value, I'm saying you probably gained value. Adding a full bath and an additional BR is probably a wash vs. a garage.

Assessments are usually a few years old, and unless you bought at the top of the bubble you'd usually be better off using an old number that is usually lower. If you bought at the height of the bubble, counties are pretty bad about never decreasing the tax assessment to fair market value due to tax base.

(ETA: If you've refinanced in the past couple of years it's probably a pretty fair assessment anyway)

No, I know you weren't saying that. I was arguing with the people about the garage thing.

Now, I have a question and then I'd like to get back to talking about the future of my penis. The assessed value on my mortgage did in fact go up about 30k since they assessed it for the refi. Is that just because of the market? They never came back and did another one.

Probably based in large part on comps in the neighborhood I suppose.

We told the kids yesterday. They thought we were going to tell them that we're going on vacation, so that was a little anticlimactic.

Jerloma wrote: ↑Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:11 pm We told the kids yesterday. They thought we were going to tell them that we're going on vacation, so that was a little anticlimactic.

Oh, man. How did that go? I can't imagine having that conversation. But, if things weren't good, they might be relieved in some ways. Hope things work out.

Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I'm curious why your wife has so much debt not tied to you. Is she carrying debt that predates your marriage?

brian wrote: ↑Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:11 pm

degenerasian wrote: ↑Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:04 pm let's vote, profile pick should in a Steelers jersey or not?

Yes.

That's really poor eye-black placement.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:41 pm

Jerloma wrote: ↑Wed Feb 07, 2018 9:35 pm Oh my god, you're insane, Syb. I could never do that.

It's so much easier than trying to come up with a line. If you need a line, tell her if she liked your huge dick in her dream, you are ready to disappoint the fuck out of her.

Or you could just say, "hey, have you heard I'm now single? Want to grab a drink Saturday night?"

1) I am practically a monk, having married my high school girlfriend.

2) I've been a fairly successful wing man, mainly because it's well understood I'm not looking to hook up. Not something I have had to say, it is either already known or it's a vibe I tend to kick off.

3) That said, I can tell you that women almost can't help flirting with men that are in a relationship. I've had a bunch of instances where I've had to deal with highly uncomfortable situations. I haven't personally been in "coming out of a long-term" but I'm pretty sure this a variant of that. I've read that part of this comes down to "some woman thought this guy was worth marrying or being with for years, so he's marked as desirable." Not saying it's solid logic, but we're talking about relationships, so...

4) So, I have very little game in the sense of hooking up, but I've been involved in a lot of transactions. That girl wants to fuck you. There's not even really a question in my mind. She probably is well-aware of your situation and knows you're now on the market. Even if she doesn't, she might have had some intuition kick in.

But the bottom line is that just mentioning she dreamed about you is a slam dunk invitation. The follow-up message? C'mon, man. And I agree with Syb, you basically just have to say you're newly single* and ask her out for a drink.

* If she says, "Yeah, I know," you can just invite her to your house for a drink.

Wrote and deleted this a while back but PDX is right... My divorce finalized today is a bat signal. Whomever you convince to hang with you that day is morally obligated to give you action. Merely mentioning such a date says all you need it to. If you are really too anxious to hook that up, just hang around the courthouse and strike up a convo with the paperwork in your hands. Discussion will inevitably turn to why you are there and what's in your hands. Walk out with her and find a drink.

Also, zero judges here will allow you to waive child support. So pick a number and incorporate into your negotiating.

Is that the smoke show on FB, J-Lo?

Missed that. Good luck HaulCitgo.

bfj wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:03 am Is that the smoke show on FB, J-Lo?

Was wondering that too.

Giff wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 9:14 am

bfj wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:03 am Is that the smoke show on FB, J-Lo?

Was wondering that too.

if you guys are talking about celery gumby woman fb says shes married

TT2.0 wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 11:58 am

Giff wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 9:14 am

bfj wrote: ↑Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:03 am Is that the smoke show on FB, J-Lo?

Was wondering that too.

if you guys are talking about celery gumby woman fb says shes married

Boy she must have some freakish physical characteristics.

Celery gets all bendy when its stale?