Bathroom Etiquette

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:44 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Clearly had the procedure confused.

No shit.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Nov 08, 2017 8:18 pm

ok cool. I thought maybe it has changed that everyone washed their hands before going so I had to consider it instead of being a jerk.

in 5 years maybe.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:43 am

If you have to walk into someone else's office to access the bathroom, how do you politely ask them not to use the handle to the bathroom door as a coat rack?

Asking for a friend...

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:54 am

Ha. When we first moved in to this building, those signs for the bathrooms fell off three times a day and that one has a small crack. So someone thought it would be funny to hang it on my main office door one time. I laughed, then repurposed. I get asked about it pretty regular. Another thing is...the women's restroom is on the other side of the wall when in that closet.

I was originally supposed to get a cubicle, but one of my old bosses stepped in and told the guy planning that was bullshit because I'd been here over 18 years at that point so thanks to him. So I got put in this office, which is one of two on this floor that have no view to a window (if I lean over at my seat I can see a window in an unoccupied office across the hall) and IT originally told me that I couldn't use the closet because there is a wire run in there. I actually have a lot of stuff back to some stand up graphics I use, wall pictures that haven't been approved for hanging in the main spaces like they were at our old office, camera equipment, etc. SO I left that shit in the floor of my office and spilling into hall and made sure the secretary who really runs this place came by a couple of times. I got an e-mail from her after about two days that I could use the closet so long as I didn't block access to the wire run. So thanks to her for that. And in all that time, they've accessed the closet exactly once to fix a cable.
I don't know why I told you guys all that.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:01 am

So you shit in the wire room?

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:02 am

Layin' some cable hahahaha

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:04 am

mister d wrote: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:01 am So you shit in the wire room?

It's clearly a Women's restroom, D...

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:06 am

You should get Christie Brinkley to sign it

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:22 pm

How do you handle being fired as Secretary of State mid-poop? Asking for a friend?

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:41 pm

rass wrote: Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:22 pm How do you handle being fired as Secretary of State mid-poop? Asking for a friend?

I seriously clicked this knowing you were going to make this joke

thank you for not disappointing me

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:59 pm

Ryan wrote: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:06 am You should get Christie Brinkley to sign it

Let the record show I just got this joke.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 8:52 pm

A_B wrote: Fri Mar 16, 2018 6:59 pm
Ryan wrote: Fri Feb 09, 2018 9:06 am You should get Christie Brinkley to sign it
Let the record show I just got this joke.

That puts you a step ahead of me.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Mar 16, 2018 9:09 pm

It’s a cross thread deep dive.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Mar 19, 2018 6:13 am

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:13 am

Went in to the two seater, one stander at the office. Needed a seat, one was taken, so I took the other. Dude in the other stall finishes, flushes and exits stall. Then he goes to urinal and pisses like a fucking racehorse. Don't know that I've experienced that before.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:57 am

A_B wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:13 am Went in to the two seater, one stander at the office. Needed a seat, one was taken, so I took the other. Dude in the other stall finishes, flushes and exits stall. Then he goes to urinal and pisses like a fucking racehorse. Don't know that I've experienced that before.

I've done that in reverse and felt weird. Started at the urinal and as I'm pissing realize I gotta drop one too. That's always weird if there's other people in the bathroom.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:19 am

I've done it how AB described except it wasn't racehorse-esque. Just stood up after wiping/flushing/buckling and thought "hey, I could pee more" and went to urinal.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:20 am

BSF21 wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:57 am
A_B wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:13 am Went in to the two seater, one stander at the office. Needed a seat, one was taken, so I took the other. Dude in the other stall finishes, flushes and exits stall. Then he goes to urinal and pisses like a fucking racehorse. Don't know that I've experienced that before.
I've done that in reverse and felt weird. Started at the urinal and as I'm pissing realize I gotta drop one too. That's always weird if there's other people in the bathroom.

Have you ever done that and on top of it realized it was your pick in the Swamp Album Draft.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:25 am

Giff wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:20 am
BSF21 wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:57 am
A_B wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 9:13 am Went in to the two seater, one stander at the office. Needed a seat, one was taken, so I took the other. Dude in the other stall finishes, flushes and exits stall. Then he goes to urinal and pisses like a fucking racehorse. Don't know that I've experienced that before.
I've done that in reverse and felt weird. Started at the urinal and as I'm pissing realize I gotta drop one too. That's always weird if there's other people in the bathroom.
Have you ever done that and on top of it realized it was your pick in the Swamp Album Draft.

I have. I'm between a few. Kinda like I was when I picked the urinal over the toilet.

GoodKarma · Post by **GoodKarma** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:47 am

If there isn't an album named "Urinal Over the Toilet" there should be.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:11 am

Giff wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:19 am I've done it how AB described except it wasn't racehorse-esque. Just stood up after wiping/flushing/buckling and thought "hey, I could pee more" and went to urinal.

Yeah, I've done that at home, too. Dump, wipe, flush, wash hands... back to toilet, lift up seat, urinate.

duff · Post by **duff** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 12:17 pm

sancarlos wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:11 am
Giff wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:19 am I've done it how AB described except it wasn't racehorse-esque. Just stood up after wiping/flushing/buckling and thought "hey, I could pee more" and went to urinal.
Yeah, I've done that at home, too. Dump, wipe, flush, wash hands... back to toilet, lift up seat, urinate.

That is just because you are old.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:01 pm

duff wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 12:17 pm
sancarlos wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:11 am
Giff wrote: Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:19 am I've done it how AB described except it wasn't racehorse-esque. Just stood up after wiping/flushing/buckling and thought "hey, I could pee more" and went to urinal.
Yeah, I've done that at home, too. Dump, wipe, flush, wash hands... back to toilet, lift up seat, urinate.
That is just because you are old.

Or have a prostate problem. Get that checked out.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:04 pm

Someone shit all over the sticky thread.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri May 25, 2018 9:43 am

Rough morning for a co-worker. I've been to the pisser three times (I drink a lot of water!) and the same pair of shoes has been in the stall every time.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri May 25, 2018 9:56 am

A_B wrote: Fri May 25, 2018 9:43 am Rough morning for a co-worker. I've been to the pisser three times (I drink a lot of water!) and the same pair of shoes has been in the stall every time.

Must have gone 5/5 on the curry.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri May 25, 2018 9:59 am

rass wrote: Fri May 25, 2018 9:56 am
A_B wrote: Fri May 25, 2018 9:43 am Rough morning for a co-worker. I've been to the pisser three times (I drink a lot of water!) and the same pair of shoes has been in the stall every time.
Must have gone 5/5 on the curry.

When twitter and swamp collide!

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri May 25, 2018 10:01 am

Most of the jokes in this place go over jerloma's head anyway.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Aug 15, 2018 12:30 pm

From Deadspin's Funbag:

I lived with my husband in a Duplex apartment for well over a year, before a neighbor moved in next door. Due to our conflicting work schedules I didn’t end up meeting her until Thanksgiving morning. Turns out, she was delightful and kind and transferred her job to be closer to her mom who was dying. Between work and her mother’s illness she was rarely home and had no other friends or family in the area. So, I insisted that she come to Thanksgiving at my in-laws.

They were the sort who loved meeting people so I knew it wasn’t an issue. It was such a non-event in my mind that I didn’t really mention it to my husband until we were just about to leave. And HE. BLEW. UP.

It was a completely unhinged rant and disproportionate to the situation. He was fucking adamant the neighbor was not coming with us. It was loud and absurd and tailored so she would hear us through the thin walls. He called his mother, but it was all decided that the neighbor was coming to Thanksgiving. The car ride was awkward.

Once there, everything was fine. My husband disappeared and refused to come out of the basement. The meal was great, the pie was served and laid out on the table.

Then this happened in quick order. My sister-in-law handed her baby to my husband as he was coming back up the stairs for dessert, but he was unprepared for the handoff and grabbed his nephew at the bottom and smashed his arm against the diaper.

I would not be shocked if you told me that this diaper had not been changed all week. It exploded. The entire contents were out and all over my husband’s shirt, pants, shoes… everywhere.

He was screaming hysterically, causing the baby to scream. My sister-in-law scooped up the baby and ran for the only bathroom with a shower and locked the door, leaving my husband to scream like a maniac for the second time that day. We hosed him off in the garage and he went home in his old clothes from high school.

He didn’t talk the on the way home. He dropped the neighbor and me off at a bar. And that’s when she told me that he had a key from the landlord and for the last year or so, while the apartment was empty, he was using her place to take a shit. And after she moved in, he was still using her place while she was at work. One time, she walked in on him as he was running out the door only she didn’t really realize he was the empty apartment shitter until that night, while screaming and running after his sister. I moved out by Christmas.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Aug 20, 2018 7:42 am

Hey Rass...I got the singular eye reference from FB!

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Aug 20, 2018 7:51 am

*wink*

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:00 pm

Today I learned that this exists.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Sep 11, 2018 8:39 am

It's hilarious to read that article because it pretty much covers off why they were put there and why a solution for women wasn't required; it was meant to address a specific problem: drunk dudes pissing in public. Of course an irrational minority will get their nose out of joint, it isn't even a question any more.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Nov 21, 2018 8:35 am

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Nov 21, 2018 11:01 am

Around my house, the phrase "dropping a bomb" is used regularly.

In fact our kids used to sing the old Gap Band song regularly.

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:11 pm

Important news item:

https://www.kwch.com/content/news/Bathr ... 53401.html

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:30 am

Came out of the stall and had to dodge getting splashed by some dude prepping his man bun at the sink.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:35 am

Rex wrote: Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:11 pm Important news item:

https://www.kwch.com/content/news/Bathr ... 53401.html

This is fucking hilarious.

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 7:07 pm

This can’t be real, can it? This is one of the cruelest things I have ever seen.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Dec 17, 2019 7:42 pm

No way there would be the budget for this.