The Swamp

What the hell did she say that could have possibly offended anyone? Do you have a link for her Twitter account?

I don't know, nor do I wish to know, her account name. I'm just going off of the link Kranepool posted: http://deadspin.com/shes-starting-to-ge ... -509156145" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

One of those stalker-type websites like Reddit has probably posted her Twitter account name and Social Security number and whatnot by now.

"I'm an atheist"? Just spit-balling here.

rass wrote:"I'm an atheist"? Just spit-balling here.

That's pretty much all you need to say to rile up the hate from the religion of peace and love.*


*That sarcastic remark was in no way meant to reflect on ALL Christians, or even majority. I do understand that it is a small, and highly ignorant group that believes this. Just making jokes here, and I do see the irony in that my own joke can be seen as hateful towards Christians. Double the funny!

The Sybian wrote:

rass wrote:"I'm an atheist"? Just spit-balling here.

That's pretty much all you need to say to rile up the hate from the religion of peace and love.*

*That sarcastic remark was in no way meant to reflect on ALL Christians, or even majority. I do understand that it is a small, and highly ignorant group that believes this. Just making jokes here, and I do see the irony in that my own joke can be seen as hateful towards Christians. Double the funny!

Driven by profit, the religion of Peace and the religion of Love have been trying to annihilate each other for a good millenium or so. Clearly, this is not working out for anyone expecting culmination or even end-credits rolling over a feel good autotune. Yet if it was a failed business model it would have been obsolete way back when hygiene was unimaginable and maps suggested that gigantic sea beasts lurked at the left-edge of the map where you fell off the end of the world and didn't even Tweet "Ultima Thule".

I suggest we start our own religion. Right here. Yes, us. The first thing a convert has to endure is . . . well, hang on. See? That's the downside of having sense enough to be Atheist. You can't really profit from it. Because as soon as you start building a flock, you're either completely insane, delusional or a con-man. Atheists have no need to organize. Atheists tend to avoid anything that is organized.

As Atheists the question is . . . how do we sucker the MoJezeeziz dolts into tossing their life savings at us? And I'd bet that is easily done. Frankly, this is the one question that has been behind all religion business since forever. "How do we sell shit to morons?" Hubbard did it. And Hubbard is mid-level or lower intellectual level compared to the average Swamper. If you consider yourself to be a lesser intellect than Tom Cruise, this might not be the thread in which you may wish to contemplate.

Collectively, we certainly have the writing and creative skills to out-Hubbard MoJeeziz alien bar bet ponzi.

How difficult can it be? There are certain levels of socks. You start out with children's' socks, move up to pre-teen socks, then ado-socks. By subscription in the name of Swamp religion? We should lament that we haven't been capitalizing off of this for the last decade. Japanese socks? Think of the possibilities. It's a world-wide world.

I've got passports, A couple of visas.

This is not a far satirical reach of Swampness. Collectively we can forge a cult.

Actually, if anything, Reddit would go after people that would give her shit. Not that that's a correct way to deal with it, but I'm just sayin'.

The Sybian wrote:

rass wrote:"I'm an atheist"? Just spit-balling here.

That's pretty much all you need to say to rile up the hate from the religion of peace and love.*


*That sarcastic remark was in no way meant to reflect on ALL Christians, or even majority. I do understand that it is a small, and highly ignorant group that believes this. Just making jokes here, and I do see the irony in that my own joke can be seen as hateful towards Christians. Double the funny!

It's weird that according to their theology, their deity is going to kick the living shit out of us for all eternity if nobody convinces us that it's true before our demise, yet they're still able to actually be offended by our presence while we're here.

Imagine if you were walking down the street and you saw a person hanging on the edge of a cliff. If you have any moral conscience at all, that person would immediately become your entire world until you saved them. You probably wouldn't run over to him and start screaming that he his life has no meaning and that he has no objective morals. You would just save him. Yet according to their theology, we're hanging over the precipice of Hell. This is so much worse than just falling from a cliff and dying. There's nothing productive about hell...nobody comes out a better person because nobody comes out at all. Simply ignoring that person seems just as wrong as shouting contempt at them.

This is one of the reasons that I begrudgingly respect the fundangelical whack jobs.

And Glenn Beck thinks that CNN producers planted the atheist there and they were driven to do it by "forces of spiritual darkness."

Just so we're all clear here...if you pray for someone to be healed in the name of Jesus...the prayer is answered whether it be instantaneously, through time and medicine, or even if they just die. Praise to be to mother fucking Jesus!

Jerloma wrote:Just so we're all clear here...if you pray for someone to be healed in the name of Jesus...the prayer is answered whether it be instantaneously, through time and medicine, or even if they just die. Praise to be to mother fucking Jesus!

Hospitals have been doing it wrong all these years. I decided to switch career courses and specialize in Medical Malpractice Defense. I now have the trump card to win every case. Your honor, Members of the jury, it says in the Bible that death is the ultimate curing of all ailments and suffering. when my client sliced the deceased's aorta during the surgical proceedings he in fact cured the client of his heart disease, therefore we ask that the case be dismissed. Nothing further." And Summary Judgement granted for the defense every time. It says so in the Bible, people! You going to argue with the WORD. OF. G-D? We all know the Bible has been proven to be infallible in the ways of science, biology and medical facts, so it should be admissible in court for such purpose, because come on, word of Mother Fucking G-d!

The Pope is wrong!

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/05 ... _hp_ref=uk" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The Vatican has clarified that atheists will still go to hell if they reject God, after Pope Francis broke with tradition to deliver a homily stating non-believers who do good will be redeemed through Jesus.

The Pope's words made headlines around the world after he gave an unprepared speech in which he emphasised the importance of “doing good” as a principle which unites all humanity.

After international media attention, the Vatican attempted clarify how exactly one gets in to heaven, with Rev. Thomas Rosica, a Vatican spokesman, saying that people who know about the Catholic church “cannot be saved” if they “refuse to enter her or remain in her.”

That is, atheists are still going to hell.

Infallible? I do not think that word means what they think it means.

I really don't want to have to be the guy defending the Pope, but as I stated here as soon as this came out...the Pope is not wrong. He was just communicating an extremely common piece of Christian doctrine. The fact that the Vatican has to clarify this at all is just further testimony to the rather obvious fact that Catholics don't even understand their own theology.

Catholic priest is bullshit over people not capitalizing the word "god."

‘God’ should always appear capitalised. This is because that is the accepted custom, and because when we use the word ‘God’ it stands for a person. So too do phrases like ‘the Almighty’, ‘the Eternal Father’, the Persons of the Blessed Trinity and so on – all should be capitalised.

Those who deny the capital letter to the Almighty do so out of a desire to belittle Him, one assumes (oh yes, did I say the personal pronoun when used of God should also be capitalised?) This actually has a long history. Back in the day when anti-Semitism was openly espoused by writers and publishers, some used to deny the capital letter to the term ‘Jew’. I do not think anyone would do that nowadays.

Heresy, and atheism, produce nothing beautiful. They can’t. They are stony barren fields. And the examples above are some of the ugly fruit of these intellectually incoherent movements.

These poor fucking kids...

”You are invited to an AMAZING DAY with Mom. {Day, Date, Time.} We will go have brunch and spend the day talking about some AMAZING things. Please wear your baptism dress because this is an extra special occasion.”

I talked about everything I felt like she could handle. I purposely left out a few things but that’s only because they are just plain gross.

At the end of the discussion, we talked specifically about the beauties of procreation and the importance of saving those AMAZING and procreative powers for when she was a wife and mother. (I talked here about the connection of Mother’s Day) I used the opportunity to do something that my parents did for the children in our family. Basically in a nutshell, it’s an agreement between us as parents and our children, signifying if you refrain from the use of drugs, alcohol, premarital sex and or promiscuity and live a clean, moral life up to the age of 20, we’d give that child *$1,000.00 (*PLEASE READ ADDENDUMS 1 and 2 BELOW THIS POST) as an ultimate reward for positive behavior.

Churches bailing on the Boy Scouts

...Tim Reed, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Gravel Ridge in Jacksonville, said in an e-mail that his congregation — including a 15-year-old boy on track to win the coveted Eagle Scout rank — strongly backed the decision to end sponsorship of a Scout troop.

"He was set to be one of the youngest boys to make Eagle," Reed wrote. "He said that he must uphold God's word over the Boy Scouts' decision no matter what the personal cost."

Among the latest to cut ties was Candlelight Christian Fellowship, a nondenominational church in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, which announced this week that it would end its charter of a Boy Scout troop at the end of this year.

"We're a Bible-believing church, and the Boy Scouts have opted to pursue a different moral path," said the associate pastor, Buck Storm. "It's a sad time for us."

In all, about 70 percent of the 116,000 Scout units in the United States are sponsored by religious organizations...

Jerloma wrote:These poor fucking kids...

”You are invited to an AMAZING DAY with Mom. {Day, Date, Time.} We will go have brunch and spend the day talking about some AMAZING things. Please wear your baptism dress because this is an extra special occasion.”

You're just jealous that you didn't get to have a special day with your mom/dad/court appointed caregiver to talk about sex.

The Vintage Whack-a-noodle wrote:I purposely left out a few things but that’s only because they are just plain gross and I don’t even talk about those things as an adult or didn't agree or feel the need to teach those things to my child.

Like, leaving the lights on?

sancarlos wrote:Churches bailing on the Boy Scouts

Buck Storm wrote:"We're a Bible-believing church, and the Boy Scouts have opted to pursue a different moral path,"

Love thy neighbor?

Just missed the cut for the Science thread...

Jerloma wrote:Just missed the cut for the Science thread...

Let's just stop asking questions, because Jesus is the answer to all questions.

Nebraska Catholic school ‘praying’ after former student masturbates with crucifix...

Like 6 people read this thread and the other 4 of us are going to be pleased by her website.

All I gotta say is.....awesome.

Johnnie wrote:Like 6 people read this thread and the other 4 of us are going to be pleased by her website.

All I gotta say is.....awesome.

Johnnie wrote:Like 6 people read this thread and the other 4 of us are going to be pleased by her website.

All I gotta say is.....awesome.

This isn't the first thread everybody opens? I have to say, she looked pretty good in her pasties and panties. The masturbating with a crucifix doesn't do anything for me, though. The whole thing is hilarious.


ETA: And her first porn has to be named Pius XXX, right?

The Sybian wrote:

Johnnie wrote:Like 6 people read this thread and the other 4 of us are going to be pleased by her website.

All I gotta say is.....awesome.

This isn't the first thread everybody opens? I have to say, she looked pretty good in her pasties and panties. The masturbating with a crucifix doesn't do anything for me, though. The whole thing is hilarious.


ETA: And her first porn has to be named Pius XXX, right?

Nice!

Or "Doheronherknees?"

I know that is supposed to represent an arm-wrestle, hence struggle, between good and evil. And blah blah blah. But to me that image always looked like Jeebuzz and Satan were in the middle of a soul shake.

Scottie wrote:I know that is supposed to represent an arm-wrestle, hence struggle, between good and evil. And blah blah blah. But to me that image always looked like Jeebuzz and Satan were in the middle of a soul shake.

I had the same thought. The drama is intensified if you assume it's a best of 9 series.

No, no. The ritualistic physical salutation. The arm-wrestle palm grip, drawn into a semi-hug. There's a "best of" anything for that?

Serious question. Ever had another White guy attempt to greet with you the NBA handshake? Whatever it's called.

Scottie wrote:Serious question. Ever had another White guy attempt to greet with you the NBA handshake? Whatever it's called.

Yeah, young white guys do it.

Shirley wrote:Yeah, young white guys do it.

Dumb ones do.

Do they also greet people by bowing? Or rubbing noses? Probably not, eh? Although that would make exactly as much sense.

Scottie wrote:No, no. The ritualistic physical salutation. The arm-wrestle palm grip, drawn into a semi-hug. There's a "best of" anything for that?

Serious question. Ever had another White guy attempt to greet with you the NBA handshake? Whatever it's called.

I do that handshake with my father to fuck with him from time to time.

My previous comment should have been on two separate lines. 1.) Yes, I saw that as a brother hand shake. 2.) I made a lame joke about the "4x4" in the corner being the scoreboard for the arm wrestling contest for the fate of the universe.

Depends on which friends I'm saying what's up to, but I either greet with a handshake, the type represented by Jesus & Satan on the Tundra, a 3 step one where you add a half handshake & pound, or one where it's a slap and then a pound.

Yes, I'm black and almost 30. Why do you ask?

Johnnie BLACKORANGE.

I fist bump anyone under the age of 10. Either that or an out of reach high five. I don't need your germs.

Jesus shows up at Phoenix airport...

It turns out that Becky has come to Terminal Three every day for two weeks--ever since she first heard about the Holy Apparition. She sits nearby, usually on the floor and sometimes drinking an iced latte, watching to make sure no one steps on Jesus' face.

"Will you eventually give up and go home?" I asked her. "Security is pretty weird about people hanging around here all day."

"I'll stay as long as Jesus stays," Becky assured me.

"You mean He'll eventually leave?"

"Oh, sure," she assured me. "These apparitions disappear as quick as they come."

"God moves in mysterious ways," I replied.

"His wonders to perform!" Becky exclaimed happily.

Jerloma wrote:Jesus shows up at Phoenix airport...

If Jesus cared about being stepped on, he wouldn't appear in a floor tile at a busy airport. It's like the old riddle the ancient Rabbis debated: "Can G-d microwave a burrito so hot that not even He could eat it." Actually, it's nothing like that, but I just blew my mind!