The Swamp

I'm going to let BFJ keep this one in his room since it's sort of the quintessential Rimworld artwork:

Never forget.

🎶Do you remember
The 11th night of Septober🎶

Alright, we're back. The expedition mentioned in the last update, but a few other occurrences first.

I forgot to mention that when P.D.X. showed up he was carrying amphetamines, to which he had an addiction. Since running out, he's started going through withdrawal, which manifests itself in P.D.X. deciding to dig up BSF21's corpse and leave it on a dining room table. We quickly re-bury it and soon thereafter P.D.X. has calmed down. Hopefully the rest of his recovery goes smoother.


Lightning ignited a forest fire around the base; we contained it relatively easily but I wanted to share this shot of Pruitt deciding to cloud watch in the middle of it:


Later a group of Canadians show up begging for 210 in silver. It's a little bit of a hit to our treasury buy we give it to them because we're nice guys. Hopefully the favor will pay off later. Also, the leader of this group of Canadians is literally named Jerk. Just showing up asking for free money...I mean this guy was a real Jerk!

Finally things calm down enough that we can send out our expedition team. We put together some MREs (good thing Johnnie hasn't shown up yet to ratfuck them) and Sabo, rass, wlu_lax and Pruitt bravely head out into the unknown.

There was always going to be the risk of our base getting raided while we were short-handed, and sure enough it happens shortly thereafter in the form of the dreaded cannibal pirate faction The Crossbow Monkeys, who look like they took a wrong turn on Jan 6. Fortunately there are only two of them.


Our crew quickly dispatches one of them and the other flees. The package dropped by the downed pirate here contains a drug called "Flake" which is basically space crack. This will come up later.

After a trek of a day or so, our expedition team arrives at its location. Purportedly within this complex is some type of information that can get us closer to rediscovering the legendary front page.
of

We make our way through what is basically a series of rooms. No sign of enemies, but a few booby traps, of which sets off an explosion that leaves a few guys with minor burns.


Finally, here's the main terminal we're looking for. rass hacks his way in and downloads the data we need while having the most Rimworld conversation ever.


And that's it. Success! Our triumphant heroes head back home without event.

Chekhov's space crack

I assume PDX is aware of the space crack?

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Mon Sep 20, 2021 6:53 am The package dropped by the downed pirate here contains a drug called "Flake" which is basically space crack. This will come up later.

Far too ominous for a Monday morning.

BSF's corpse looks like a Pez dispenser.

bfj wrote: ↑Mon Sep 20, 2021 11:54 am BSF's corpse looks like a Pez dispenser.

That's way better than the gumball machine I resemble while living.

Will probably be tomorrow or Friday for the next update. In case anyone was waiting to discover who turns out to be a crackhead.

Meanwhile...I need the names of three Swampers who rarely/never post here nowadays. (Except you-know-who.) (And the other you-know-who.)

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:46 am Meanwhile...I need the names of three Swampers who rarely/never post here nowadays. (Except you-know-who.) (And the other you-know-who.)

Hood

hdo

brian wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:47 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:46 am Meanwhile...I need the names of three Swampers who rarely/never post here nowadays. (Except you-know-who.) (And the other you-know-who.)

Hood

hdo

louthegiantrat
tom1860
baloney

Spngelikeninja

garyclark
jpops
chumley

Fanniebug.

UNCBoy
MikeTiceRidingBarbaro
bluedevilyn

Dr. Chuck

wlu_lax6 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:50 am

brian wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:47 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:46 am Meanwhile...I need the names of three Swampers who rarely/never post here nowadays. (Except you-know-who.) (And the other you-know-who.)

Hood

hdo

louthegiantrat
tom1860
baloney

Someone didn't read the NFL Week 1 thread!

Oiler

You guys saw that I only needed three, right?

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:38 am You guys saw that I only needed three, right?

You now have a plethora of options to choose from. You're welcome.

brian wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:40 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:38 am You guys saw that I only needed three, right?

You now have a plethora of options to choose from. You're welcome.

Surely this means a lot to him.

(Thanks, by the way.)

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:17 amFanniebug.

Now that I think of it, I wish we had archived the names of all the Russian honeytrap spammers so I could use them when women show up in the game.

Giff wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 9:28 am

wlu_lax6 wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:50 am

brian wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:47 am

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed Sep 22, 2021 8:46 am Meanwhile...I need the names of three Swampers who rarely/never post here nowadays. (Except you-know-who.) (And the other you-know-who.)

Hood

hdo

louthegiantrat
tom1860
baloney

Someone didn't read the NFL Week 1 thread!

I actually did see that but I read carefully and saw "rarely". Plus I miss our Welsh representation in the Fantasy Football League and comparing Concacaf to UEFA WC Qualification.

zumba
ocean matt
zaz

BF Hoodrich.

sexywombat
edbatista
zwipper

Ham Sandwich
Godzilla
Zumba... all the fictional accounts.

TommyBoy
Billy Waterski/Hawaiian Shirt Friday
BillCross
Pentzfs21
Non-Hyphenated American
IsItStinky

They one guy from New Orleans that everyone grew tired of because he was racist and couldn't cope with it.

Howard
DC

So our confiscated space crack is left unattended, and wlu_lax helps himself to a hit, quickly becoming addicted.


We set a "no crack" policy, but that doesn't deter wlu_lax and it looks like he's just going to keep smoking crack until he runs out.

Later, we finally finish converting wlu_lax to Swamp-ism and to reflect his new ideology he once again changes up his appearance:


Meanwhile, we get some lighter fare going for our other colonists' recreation:

Oh shit! The Karens strike again, but this time their drop pods crash directly into our base and through the roof of rass's room. Fortunately rass was in the hallway when they arrived. They set rass's bed on fire while we take defensive positions to be ready when they breach the walls.


As soon as they come into our sight we unload and dispatch them quickly, though rass suffers seven gunshot wounds in the process. Fortunately he makes a full recovery.

So earlier we had designated Syb with our "moral guide" role of Business Horse, but now that our colony has grown it's time to select a formal leader for the Board Admin role. We choose bengal for his overall contribution to the community. Here's his ceremony in our newly constructed ceremonial building:


Shortly thereafter we celebrate our first ever Swampcrash. It goes over so well that a new colonist comes to join us. Hey look, it's duff!


Logan 'duff' Lopez grew up in the aftermath of a climate-induced collapse that ravaged his home world. He joined a community of tunnel dwellers, becoming a trusted scout exploring uncharted subterranean dangers. As a result of his experiences, he prefers to stay indoors and has no need for open air or sunlight—in fact, he actively dislikes it. He is also committed to a lifestyle free of comforts and prefers to eat his food raw.

chedda has a moment of inspiration and crafts a masterwork-quality sniper rifle. See the detailed description below:


We give it to bengal because he's the better shot.

Earlier the the Republic of Balcaga had asked us to house two of their prisoners for several days. Upon completing the request, the Republic decides to honor our service by bestowing chedda with the title of Yeoman. They send a delegation for the ceremony:


With his new rank, chedda gains access to The Force-like powers:
- Word of Trust: use psychic suggestion to quickly recruit prisoners to your side.
- Blinding Pulse: blind enemies in a small radius.

Meanwhile, here are some selected recent works from BFJ and P.D.X.:

BFJ
- a star with a lion smiling in the background
- an ash tree in front of a yam
- porpoises playing cards near three brewers
- a drone wearing a space suit surrounded by a group of elephants (this one is described as "erotic")

P.D.X.
- chedda shivering on the ground surrounded by fly-ridden yak corpses
- BFJ finishing a sculpture while wiping the sweat from his forehead
- a minor celebrity named Madeline suspended in the air (this one got "masterwork" quality)
- self-portrait of P.D.X. playing horseshoes

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Fri Sep 24, 2021 6:56 am chedda has a moment of inspiration and crafts a masterwork-quality sniper rifle. See the detailed description below:

...which nobody remembered until rass quoted a post about it in 5792

Mid-day update since there's a backlog.

So, I forgot to mention earlier that Sabo and wlu_lax got into a fight, with wlu_lax managing to destroy Sabo's right thumb, ruining his dream of becoming a movie critic and/or Fonzie impersonator.


rass vomits on the ground by BFJ's sculpting table but then immediately cleans it up because he's a nice guy.


A group of "wild men" who have reverted to a feral state wander into the vicinity, walking around naked. A closer inspection reveals them to be Hood, SpongeLikeNinja, and garyclark. They shouldn't be an issue if we leave them alone.


On the other hand, they start eating our crops, so maybe we need to hunt them down like varmints.


wlu_lax has depleted the supply of crack, and now begins the long and painful process of withdrawal. He has a mental break and wanders off in a daze. This will likely not be the last time something like this happens.

So you may have noticed we'd started expanding our base into the rock formation on the west side. Well, it looks like our digging triggered an infestation of giant insectoids who burrowed to the surface. Fortunately, they're contained in the empty rooms for now, allowing us to set up a prepared defensive perimeter to pick them off at a safe distance when they break out---


--oh shit! Our pet Houdini apparently didn't get the message and waltzes right into the room, leaving the door open. Houdini is quickly mauled and tossed aside as the insectoids swarm outside directly into our unprepared colonists. It's a desperate struggle as we try to beat them back from close quarters. From the end of the hall, BFJ "accidentally" shoots his artistic rival P.D.X., who collapses and is carried to safety by Pruitt.


Eventually we manage to kill all the bugs, but several people have suffered grievous wounds and need emergency attention. chedda, our best medic, escaped serious injury but collapses from food poisoning, leading Pruitt, a relative amateur, to carry the doctoring load. To Pruitt's great credit, everyone survives without any long-term damage.

However, in the post-battle chaos we weren't able to get Houdini medical attention quickly enough, and he dies of his wounds. RIP Houdini, thank you for walking around and eating grass or whatever you did.


That should be it with updates until next week.

chedda should have had the lentils