Gay Marriage

[Johnnie]

Don't get me started. There's no reason in the world that a couple who nets 4x as much as me needs me to get them a fucking blender.

And baby showers? The worst. "Help us fund our life decisions!"

I'm out.

You could get a cheapo blender and then have a note enclosed that says "I want this to go to [groom's name] in the divorce."

[HaulCitgo]

Ha ha. You get invited to baby showers.

[travzilla]

Not just the wedding (usually $150-250 cheque depending on how close you are to the couple), and wedding shower ($50 gift), but in Manitoba we also have a fairly unique custom of the wedding social.

2-3 months before the wedding, the couple rents a hall, sells 200-400 tickets for $10 each (the wedding party is responsible for ticket sales for the most part). Goes from 8-1am, there's a DJ and a meal served around midnight (deli meat, cheese cubes, pickles and bread is standard). Cash bar, 50/50 draw, texas mickey draw, and about 20 silent auction prizes (the couple usually arranges for 2 or 3 grand prizes- BBQ's, TVs, etc - and the wedding party arranges the rest, either through donations or purchasing).

A good social will net the couple $6-$8K. EVERYONE has one (not including people on second marriages). Most Manitobans probably go to 4 socials a year, every year (spring and fall usually). Sometimes there done at halloween/new years/st patricks to make it easier to sell tickets.

Also, weddings aren't especially expensive here, so a big social, a bridal shower, and the presentation at your wedding will often pay for the whole thing plus the start of a down payment for your suburban house.

[Ryan]

I bag on Canadian comedy a lot, but that's a great post

[DC47]

Awestruck. No wonder everyone is moving to Manitoba. No bowling alone there.

[howard]

The Manitoba Social sounds like fun. But the social usually has more guests than the actual wedding reception. So, people are giving money to finance a party that they are not going to be invited to, which seems kinda weird.

[travzilla]

The Manitoba Social sounds like fun. But the social usually has more guests than the actual wedding reception. So, people are giving money to finance a party that they are not going to be invited to, which seems kinda weird.

Also adds a fun wrinkle to the suprised-at-not-being-invited-to-the-wedding situation when you can toss out a "I spent $100 bucks at you fucking social but I'm not good enough for your wedding".

(actually about half the people at a social are friends or family of the couple. The other half are people (age 18-25 generally) who knew someone selling tickets, got a group of friends together, and go as an alternative to going to the bar or something. I'd say about 30% of the socials I've been to I've never met the wedding couple.)

[BSF21]

He said that he is being invited to tons of them, and every time an invitation arrives, it's like opening an invoice.

Don't get me started. There's no reason in the world that a couple who nets 4x as much as me needs me to get them a fucking blender.

And baby showers? The worst. "Help us fund our life decisions!"

I'm out.

This. So much this.

I've got a friend of mine getting married soon. Completely broke. Throwing a wedding they absolutely can't afford and draining both sides of the family in the process. They had an engagement party, then a bridal shower, then a bachelorette/bachelor party, then a blowout birthday party jammed in there, plus the wedding and reception.

How much goddamn attention does a person need? I'm convinced at least 40% of marriages these days mean very little and are nothing more than a big party to pacify a raging bitch who "just thinks she should her her day to feel like a princess like her mommy and daddy always told her she would have growing up and is that so much to ask for just one day that's all about her and no one else can ruin not even Becky that slut."

[tennbengal]

Jen and I paid for our own wedding as much as possible - kept it small - small reception after - cake and finger foods, no alcohol. It was a nice ceremony and our closest friends and family were there. No bridal showers or stock the bar/couple showers ahead of time. Apparently we did it wrong - but we were 21 and our friends didn't have any money either...

[Jerloma]

I know people who have a baby shower for every kid. They're the worst.

[DaveInSeattle]

I know people.....They're the worst.

Fixed your post...

[mister d]

BSF, I think you're underestimating the percentage that are bigger than needed because of the mother of the bride. Just a total complete guess.

[BSF21]

BSF, I think you're underestimating the percentage that are bigger than needed because of the mother of the bride. Just a total complete guess.

Entirely possible.

I'm a relatively young guy on the scale here, so I pose to you swampahs: when did this happen? When did the wedding morph into this gigantic ordeal instead of something special to share with your partner, immediate family, and close friends? I'm not saying they're all this way, but a solid half of the weddings I go to (and I've been averaging 3-5/yr for the last 5-6 years) are so overblown and needlessly expensive. Who in the hell needs 300 people at a wedding?

[Jerloma]

Who in the hell needs 300 people at a wedding?

Women.

[The Sybian]

I know people who have a baby shower for every kid. They're the worst.

We weren't even planning on having one, but IIRC, Flaco's wife insisted. Maybe I am remembering someone else's shower, bust it must have been ours, as I remember my inlaws didn't come despite living 15 minutes away, as their other daughter was due around that time, even though the shower was halfway to my sister-in-laws hospital. Then my SIL had the nerve to go into labor during the shower.

We kept our wedding as inexpensive as possible, but shit adds up quickly. We initially planned on getting married in Tuscany with just our immediate families, as my wife didn't want a big to-do. Then it dawned on me, if we are in Italy, do we really want our parents there?

[mister d]

Probably cheaper than hiring someone to film the consummation.

[brian]

We had about 160-ish people (Sabo and his wife were there) and it cost about $20K all-in if I recall correctly, but we paid for every penny ourselves. I can't believe there are still parents who pay for that shit (beyond perhaps a very generous wedding gift to help offset costs).

At the end of the day I can say it was an awesome party and that's really we wanted. Everyone's different. I can say if you're throwing a huge wedding to try and get a bunch of gifts you're doing it wrong since the average gift won't even scratch the surface of covering the catering/hall, etc. costs per person not even to mention all of the other crap.

[mister d]

Some parents pay because the wedding event itself is a bigger deal to the parents than the couple getting married and, when faced with either paying for a very nice wedding or having it be a small affair financed by the couple, they're prefer to pay. Just another total complete guess.

[Pruitt]

We had about 160-ish people (Sabo and his wife were there) and it cost about $20K all-in if I recall correctly, but we paid for every penny ourselves. I can't believe there are still parents who pay for that shit (beyond perhaps a very generous wedding gift to help offset costs).

At the end of the day I can say it was an awesome party and that's really we wanted. Everyone's different. I can say if you're throwing a huge wedding to try and get a bunch of gifts you're doing it wrong since the average gift won't even scratch the surface of covering the catering/hall, etc. costs per person not even to mention all of the other crap.

We wanted a small affair in a really top notch restaurant (dinner for 40 or so).

By the time my mother got done, it was a hotel ballroom for 150.

She assured us that we would make money on the event - not counting on how fucking cheap my family is.

So the event ended up as a net loss of close to $10,000 - which is a small price to pay for what was up to that day the most stressful event in my life.

My advice to the kids out there is two fold:

1) Stick to your guns and don't let the old folks change your plans.

2) If you do end up appeasing mothers and grandmothers, make sure you don't invite my Uncles Jack and Aunt Bea, nor my friends David and Danny nor my cousins Rick, Paul, Marla, Frank, Saul, Louise and their spouses. Cheap bastards owe me for the salmon wellington and numerous bottles of wine.

My marriage is good. My wedding sucked dog balls.

[A_B]

My wife's parents offered to just give us cash for the cost of the wedding but we went ahead and had a wedding. We did not do anything lavish. Church ceremony, middling reception hall. It was basically a big party and that was good. Probably not more than 7k all in.

We will probably offer the same deal to our daughters when they get hitched.

[mister d]

Yup. I love the idea of "here's our contribution, either use it for a wedding or use it for something not stupid" and that's it. I bet with cash in hand versus "we're covering this and this and this", we would have just ran away forever.

[Jerloma]

I have a reputation for being a great wedding guest so we get invited to weddings from people that we hardly even know sometimes. It's usually friends of friends or someone who was at a mutual wedding with us. We just got one and we literally have no idea who these people are. We've asked all of our friends if they know them and nobody has a clue. It is however at The Ocean House so we may have to fake our way through it.

To put it in proper perspective, Taylor Swift lives next door.

[DSafetyGuy]

Who in the hell needs 300 people at a wedding?

Women.

Not always true.

I was in the wedding of a friend of mine whose father-in-law is a very successful commercial real estate guy. Wedding was about 400 guests, reception at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey, photos in the Rose Garden, all that shit (my wife was trailed by people saying, "I guess they couldn't afford the ballroom on the main floor" as they walked downstairs to the three ballrooms for the reception).

I met one random guy at the reception. He had started the Pacific Sunwear chain of stores and sold it.

In short, the guy's eldest daughter's wedding was a business opportunity for him.

[Jerloma]

Sounds familiar.

[The Sybian]

My in-laws set aside funds for a wedding, but we still wanted to keep costs low. We recently went to a wedding that costs at least $70k. The majority of the cost had to be food. It was one of the large, garish Italian reception palaces in Jersey. The spread of food at the cocktain reception was unbelievable. They opened up at least 4 reception room, lined with tables of food on both sides, and the middle of the room was a line of stations for the largest shellfish station I've ever seen, another for a made-to-order pasta station with 8 cooks, full carving station, a mexican station... They saw the list of possible themes and asked for everything. Then, to my surprise, they served a full meal in the ballroom. It would have been the best wedding food I've ever had, if I could have eaten more than a bite or two.

The ballroom had full electric light show on the 30ft ceiling with remote controlled cameras in the ceiling and cameramen broadcasting on numerous projection tvs across the ballroom. When the bride and groom were announced, they came out of doors by Trump and walked down opposite sides of an enormous marble staircase, the curved ones that make a semi-circle. The dessert assortment rivaled the cocktail spread and included among every conceivable option, some sort of pastries that looked exactly like a mini-cheeseburger with fries, mini glasses with milkshakes... I need to find out where it was and get pictures. The families aren't wealthy, either. WTF is the point?

My parents just went to a very similar wedding and were told the bill was $80,000. The couple paid for it themselves, saving money by living with the grooms mother for 10 years. This was the plan all along, save on rent/mortgage to have their dream wedding. Holy fuck.

[degenerasian]

need to marry Asian.

Asian weddings make money.

[Johnnie]

I have a reputation for being a great wedding guest so we get invited to weddings from people that we hardly even know sometimes.

Come to my sister's wedding next July in Salem, MA. Just show up. Uphold this reputation.

[Pruitt]

need to marry Asian.

Asian weddings make money.

Or Italian.

Love Italian weddings - the food, the wine, the lengthy party that goes on all night (two dinners as well...)

Also love the greeting line where the bride stands near what looks like a small, ornately decorated ballot box where guests slide in their envelopes.

[mister d]

Envelopes is a euphemism, right?

[rass]

Envelopes is a euphemism, right?

Nope. But "ornately decorated ballot box" is.