CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Mon Jan 19, 2015 8:33 pm

And you'll have more time now (winky face)!

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon Jan 19, 2015 11:03 pm

Good luck, man.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Jan 20, 2015 3:10 pm

Sorry to read that, Duff. Good luck.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:20 am

yay a virus. They should send us home :)

We have isolated the computer that originated the virus and are working to determine the extent of the damage it caused. It’s one of the “crypto” family, which encrypts everything the user has access to and asks for money to get the decryption key; if not paid, the files are unrecoverable. So far we have lost some of the shared folders on Q:, as well as the user’s U: drive. As soon as we are sure the problem is contained we will put the servers back on line

Post by **Sabo** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:38 am

https://www.decryptcryptolocker.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

(And for moderator transparency's sake, I accidentally edited degenerasian's post and put this link in his post. I meant to reply to his post rather than edit his post. As soon as I noticed it, I deleted the edit. My apologies.)

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:06 pm

Sabo wrote:https://www.decryptcryptolocker.com/

(And for moderator transparency's sake, I accidentally edited degenerasian's post and put this link in his post. I meant to reply to his post rather than edit his post. As soon as I noticed it, I deleted the edit. My apologies.)

We're going to have to stage a formal investigation of this, Belisabo.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:08 pm

We've been warning our customers about that for at least a year, and yet one of them just got hit this morning. At least most of them have finally decided that reliable backup systems are an acceptable expense.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:09 pm

Really proud of the nickname I just came up with for the kid who works somewhere in our office complex who wears skinny jeans and gigantic white high-tops to work everyday:

Billy white shoes visible johnson!

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:20 pm

"..."

"Because ... you know ... your pants are tight. And I can see your ... your dick ... or the outline of your dick. Not your actual dick."

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:26 pm

mister d wrote:"..."

"Because ... you know ... your pants are tight. And I can see your ... your dick ... or the outline of your dick. Not your actual dick."

Right!

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:18 am

An unexpected and fortuitous development in Sweatergate... This kid is that token coworker that tries really hard to give everyone nicknames, and even though none actually catch on (because they're either just bad or nonsensical), he'll stubbornly continue use them. However, since we're "no longer compadres" (his actual words) he's quit using his attempted nickname for me and reverted back to my formal name.

The other day, I overheard the managing partner point out to him that I was in fact wearing a collared sweater (a cardigan). This has gone to the top.

(In the whole course of this, I've realized that he probably didn't experience the normal boyhood development that includes the ribbing and shit-giving that guys normally give each other. He literally didn't talk to me for 2 weeks after the incident, and now it's just icy formalities.)

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:20 am

People who only had supportive and positively-reinforcing friends are the weirdest adults.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:22 am

And the nickname was....

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:25 am

[please be Gay Dog, please be Gay Dog ...]

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:25 am

rass wrote:And the nickname was....

He put an "o" in for the "a" in my last name. I guess to make it Scandinavian? I'm not Scandinavian.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:29 am

P.D.X. wrote:
rass wrote:And the nickname was....
He put an "o" in for the "a" in my last name. I guess to make it Scandinavian? I'm not Scandinavian.

Change your name at your desk, add an umlaut, and ask if he wants to roadtrip to Ikea with you this weekend.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:32 am

mister d wrote:People who only had supportive and positively-reinforcing friends are the weirdest adults.

which is every kid born after 2000, hopefully I can retire before they become managers

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:37 am

P.D.X. wrote:
rass wrote:And the nickname was....
He put an "o" in for the "a" in my last name. I guess to make it Scandinavian? I'm not Scandinavian.

He should have been fired on the spot.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:39 am

degenerasian wrote:
mister d wrote:People who only had supportive and positively-reinforcing friends are the weirdest adults.
which is every kid born after 2000, hopefully I can retire before they become managers

Seriously, we have a 21 y/o female on our team that I give as much (if not more) shit than him, and she just shrugs it off. Dude has no sack.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:42 am

mister d wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:
rass wrote:And the nickname was....
He put an "o" in for the "a" in my last name. I guess to make it Scandinavian? I'm not Scandinavian.
He should have been fired on the spot.

It's not even the most egregious. Imagine thinking you're giving people cute nicknames just be adding an "-ey" to the end of their normal name. Horrific.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:42 am

P.D.X. wrote:
mister d wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:
rass wrote:And the nickname was....
He put an "o" in for the "a" in my last name. I guess to make it Scandinavian? I'm not Scandinavian.
He should have been fired on the spot.
It's not even the most egregious. Imagine thinking you're giving people cute nicknames just be adding an "-ey" to the end of their normal name. Horrific.

I dunno. P.D.X.ey has a nice ring to it.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:45 am

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 11:49 am

P.D.X. wrote:It's not even the most egregious. Imagine thinking you're giving people cute nicknames just be adding an "-ey" to the end of their normal name. Horrific.

Is there any chance his name is Pierre McGuire?

govmentchedda · Post by **govmentchedda** » Thu Jan 29, 2015 2:09 pm

P.D.X. wrote:
mister d wrote:
P.D.X. wrote:
rass wrote:And the nickname was....
He put an "o" in for the "a" in my last name. I guess to make it Scandinavian? I'm not Scandinavian.
He should have been fired on the spot.
It's not even the most egregious. Imagine thinking you're giving people cute nicknames just be adding an "-ey" to the end of their normal name. Horrific.

Sounds like a hockey player.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 1:31 pm

If you stand in front of an office vending machine for more than four seconds, someone will walk by and sarcastically say, "Decisions, decisions..."

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 4:47 pm

Ok, I just burned 10 minutes here...

Need to know what happened with the Sweater Guy.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 4:51 pm

Nonlinear FC wrote:Ok, I just burned 10 minutes here...

Need to know what happened with the Sweater Guy.

Sweater weather has passed. We're besties again.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 7:46 am

Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):
Hacksaw (aka Granny Panties)
Taylor Hicks
Pumpkin
Animal
Starbucks Woman
Fox News
Fembot
Fembot 2.0
Fauxbot
The Flasher
Panda
Roo-stee
Walking Blow Job #1
Walking Blow Job #2
Quadzilla
Moose
Orange Girl
Hulk Hands
Stanley
The Hog
Santa
The Goer
Angry Sticker Guy
Spawn of Angry Sticker Guy
The German
'clops
Anthony Kiedis
Bird Lady
The Waitress
Mr. Green Jeans

Departed but not forgotten:
Jackie O
Ginger
Nikki Sixx
Flash
The Midget
Vans Guy
Portuguese Roll Girl
Mustard Car Girl

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 8:01 am

OK, you can't post that and not expect us to ask for explanations. Many are self-explanatory, but Hacksaw (aka Granny Panties)? Walking Blow Job #1 and #2? 'clops?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 8:02 am

I figure 'clops has a glass eye.

But Walking Blowjob #1 and #2 must be either total suckups or potential sexual harassment cases.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 8:04 am

Sabo wrote:OK, you can't post that and not expect us to ask for explanations. Many are self-explanatory, but Hacksaw (aka Granny Panties)? Walking Blow Job #1 and #2? 'clops?

Hacksaw (aka Granny Panties) - female, favors tight pants and huge panties
Walking Blow Job #1 and #2 - males, you'd know what I mean if you saw them
'clops - female, wears giant sunglasses, Cyclops from X-Men style (I should have added that she used be called Backwards Jeep Girl, because she drives a Jeep and always backs into her spot)

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 8:53 am

Borker is gonna hate this list.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 9:16 am

Do the Fembots have visibly erect nipples?

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 9:49 am

The Sybian wrote:Do the Fembots have visibly erect nipples?

She way she walks is just odd. Something about the way her legs move. Robotic.

2.0 we think is her sister.

Fauxbot sort of looks like the original Fembot, though without the odd gait, and a much more demure wardrobe.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:02 am

mister d wrote:Borker is gonna hate this list.

I want to be Hacksaw :(

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:05 am

Anyone not asking about the backstory of "Angry Sticker Guy" is doing it wrong.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:14 am

I'm assuming it's a dude whose car is plastered with aggressive political bumper stickers, and that the "spawn" is either his kid or a newer person who does the same thing.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:14 am

BSF21 wrote:Anyone not asking about the backstory of "Angry Sticker Guy" is doing it wrong.

Guy who vigorously defends his reserved parking spot against any and all trespassers by plastering giant stickers (not just paper with a piece of scotch tape) across the windshield of the offending car. He gets bonus points for doing it himself and not sending out a pleb to take care of it. He seems to have mellowed a bit the last couple of years. We figure it's either because he became a grandfather, or had a heart attack (he has taken up throwing on a pair of sneakers and walking around the parking lot at lunch).

The spawn of... parks next to him and is presumably his son.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:30 am

rass wrote:
BSF21 wrote:Anyone not asking about the backstory of "Angry Sticker Guy" is doing it wrong.
Guy who vigorously defends his reserved parking spot against any and all trespassers by plastering giant stickers (not just paper with a piece of scotch tape) across the windshield of the offending car. He gets bonus points for doing it himself and not sending out a pleb to take care of it. He seems to have mellowed a bit the last couple of years. We figure it's either because he became a grandfather, or had a heart attack (he has taken up throwing on a pair of sneakers and walking around the parking lot at lunch).

The spawn of... parks next to him and is presumably his son.

My company shared our old building with the USDA. They had some reserved spots for their higher ups, the only company in the building to have them. They were right by the main entrance and not well marked - only on the curb not a sign or anything - that said "Parking for USDA". Many many times this guy would lose his spot and come out at lunch or quitting time and wait for a LONG time until the person showed up. He'd then be a total dick about it. Screaming, etc.

The best time was an old man who came to the USDA for something or other and had just been in a meeting with the guy (we found this out from a USDA employee who we were friendly with) and when the meeting was over the old guy went to leave and the other guy followed him to the parking lot to stake out whoever had his spot. Despite clearly working with the guy on something with the USDA , he still was a total ass. He pointed to the sign and the old guy apparently told him he saw the sign and was here for the USDA and that sign isn't the least bit clear and then submitted a complaint to the guy's boss. They removed the reserved parking shortly thereafter.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 12:46 pm

rass wrote:
BSF21 wrote:Anyone not asking about the backstory of "Angry Sticker Guy" is doing it wrong.
Guy who vigorously defends his reserved parking spot against any and all trespassers by plastering giant stickers (not just paper with a piece of scotch tape) across the windshield of the offending car. He gets bonus points for doing it himself and not sending out a pleb to take care of it. He seems to have mellowed a bit the last couple of years. We figure it's either because he became a grandfather, or had a heart attack (he has taken up throwing on a pair of sneakers and walking around the parking lot at lunch).

The spawn of... parks next to him and is presumably his son.

Is this the same guy that blocked in a Bentley or some other high end car that parked in his spot?