The Swamp

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:17 pm**

L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:13 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:10 pm I'm asking legally, your examples above would be hard to prove, no?

"Oh my God, you're so much better than my mom at this!" She says stop and he has to stop mid-thrust or it's rape?
Legally, he has to stop as soon as he understands what she was saying or it's assault with a dick.

I must say, you guys come up with some great examples.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:21 pm**

degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:10 pmI'm asking legally, your examples above would be hard to prove, no?

Of course, and its why most rapists get away with it even if they are reported.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:30 pm**

L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:13 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:10 pm I'm asking legally, your examples above would be hard to prove, no?

"Oh my God, you're so much better than my mom at this!" She says stop and he has to stop mid-thrust or it's rape?
Legally, he has to stop as soon as he understands what she was saying or it's assault with a dick.

That would not be possible. He's thinking with the other brain.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:36 pm**

Many, many moons ago, I had a girl ask me to stop, mid-intercourse. She said it had nothing to do with me, but that she wasn’t over her old boyfriend and felt like she was cheating so she want to stop. Of course, I stopped.

The moral to the story is that later, when her mind was right, she thought I was a great guy and more than made it up to me.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:37 pm**

degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:30 pm
L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:13 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:10 pm I'm asking legally, your examples above would be hard to prove, no?

"Oh my God, you're so much better than my mom at this!" She says stop and he has to stop mid-thrust or it's rape?
Legally, he has to stop as soon as he understands what she was saying or it's assault with a dick.
That would not be possible. He's thinking with the other brain.

I'm going to put this as gently as possible. This will be something you are probably going to care a LOT more about in a few years. Maybe sit a couple of shifts out for the time being.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:41 pm**

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:37 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:30 pm
L-Jam3 wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:13 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:10 pm I'm asking legally, your examples above would be hard to prove, no?

"Oh my God, you're so much better than my mom at this!" She says stop and he has to stop mid-thrust or it's rape?
Legally, he has to stop as soon as he understands what she was saying or it's assault with a dick.
That would not be possible. He's thinking with the other brain.
I'm going to put this as gently as possible. This will be something you are probably going to care a LOT more about in a few years. Maybe sit a couple of shifts out for the time being.

Oh absolutely. It's going to be terrible.

Again, looking at the legal side of all this.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:45 pm**

sancarlos wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:36 pm Many, many moons ago, I had a girl ask me to stop, mid-intercourse. She said it had nothing to do with me, but that she wasn’t over her old boyfriend and felt like she was cheating so she want to stop. Of course, I stopped.

The moral to the story is that later, when her mind was right, she thought I was a great guy and more than made it up to me.

Let you watch them?

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:48 pm**

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:45 pm
sancarlos wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:36 pm Many, many moons ago, I had a girl ask me to stop, mid-intercourse. She said it had nothing to do with me, but that she wasn’t over her old boyfriend and felt like she was cheating so she want to stop. Of course, I stopped.

The moral to the story is that later, when her mind was right, she thought I was a great guy and more than made it up to me.
Let you watch them?

You’re thinking of somebody else.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 1:50 pm**

degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 11:12 am
The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 10:03 am When I switched jobs, I knew it'd be more difficult doing workplace investigations internally rather than as a consultant for clients I didn't have to talk to again. Just got my first sexual harassment case and the allegation is against our head of IT for our East Coast offices. Guy is super friendly and I've spent a decent amount of time conversing with him. Had to call him into my office and interview him. More awkward than I accounted for, but what was worse was reading the interview notes from an allegation against him from before I worked there. Such a mix between laughing and retching. Knowing the female employee made the whole scene soooo much worse. Basically, both drunk at a conference and she consensually went back to his hotel after some kissing and fondling, then he made things weird. The questions from now manager who isn't experienced in investigations were so fucking funny. "Do you normally take your pants off as soon as you enter a hotel room?"
What does 'he made things weird' mean? Even if they had sex, that's not weird, especially after kissing and fondling. She's not transitioning to his room for a chat.

Once she consensually goes back to his hotel room, how do you prove the rest?

"Do you normally take your pants off as soon as you enter a hotel room?" Of course. Even when alone. Anything else would be time wasting.

This thread took a fun turn! She said she only went to his room to use the bathroom. She came out, he pulled a Rudy Guliani and took off his pants and sat on the bed while she was in the bathroom. She came out, got freaked out by him and left. It's alleged he grabbed her hand and made her touch his genitals.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:06 pm**

I had a girl stop me mid-cunnilingus and basically kick me out of her apartment. This is after we've had a couple dates and had an awesome time at a concert that night. I was completely flabbergasted and didn't act all that civilized outside her apartment. She realized she left a bag at my apartment so she came down a week later to get it. Turns out, she had explosive diarreha come on quickly and couldn't get to her phone/door, then was too horrified to say anything to me for a several days. Weirdly, I met my first wife in the meantime, so nothing else ended up happening with her.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:14 pm**

Would have been a better story if she had shit on your face

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:18 pm**

Hood have a sister?

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:24 pm**

mister d wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:18 pm Hood have a sister?

I think us white people should just call them women, Mr. D.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:29 pm**

sancarlos wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 12:36 pm Many, many moons ago, I had a girl ask me to stop, mid-intercourse. She said it had nothing to do with me, but that she wasn’t over her old boyfriend and felt like she was cheating so she want to stop. Of course, I stopped.

The moral to the story is that later, when her mind was right, she thought I was a great guy and more than made it up to me.

How?

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:36 pm**

HaulCitgo wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:14 pm Would have been a better story if she had shit on your face

Speaking from experience, huh?

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:59 pm**

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:24 pm
mister d wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 2:18 pm Hood have a sister?
I think us white people should just call them women, Mr. D.

I'd throw a cabbage at you.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 3:21 pm**

The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 1:50 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 11:12 am
The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 10:03 am When I switched jobs, I knew it'd be more difficult doing workplace investigations internally rather than as a consultant for clients I didn't have to talk to again. Just got my first sexual harassment case and the allegation is against our head of IT for our East Coast offices. Guy is super friendly and I've spent a decent amount of time conversing with him. Had to call him into my office and interview him. More awkward than I accounted for, but what was worse was reading the interview notes from an allegation against him from before I worked there. Such a mix between laughing and retching. Knowing the female employee made the whole scene soooo much worse. Basically, both drunk at a conference and she consensually went back to his hotel after some kissing and fondling, then he made things weird. The questions from now manager who isn't experienced in investigations were so fucking funny. "Do you normally take your pants off as soon as you enter a hotel room?"
What does 'he made things weird' mean? Even if they had sex, that's not weird, especially after kissing and fondling. She's not transitioning to his room for a chat.

Once she consensually goes back to his hotel room, how do you prove the rest?

"Do you normally take your pants off as soon as you enter a hotel room?" Of course. Even when alone. Anything else would be time wasting.
This thread took a fun turn! She said she only went to his room to use the bathroom. She came out, he pulled a Rudy Guliani and took off his pants and sat on the bed while she was in the bathroom. She came out, got freaked out by him and left. It's alleged he grabbed her hand and made her touch his genitals.

Hmm such a 'mixed' story. Is the kissing and fondling at the party confirmed? Is her hotel room nearby (I'm assuming they travelled together and she's staying there too).

Anyways, what's your role Syb? How are you going to come to a conclusion?

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 3:21 pm**

Naw. I've licked a couple ass holes but can't say I tasted any diarrhea. Brazilian waxing types so I didn't see any shit crumbs either. I do much prefer the hair down to the thighs type but probably just because the best sex I ever had was with a way way too hairy girl. Any woo, no not from experience but definitely a better story.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 3:29 pm**

That third sentence is cracking me up.

Posted: **Wed Mar 29, 2023 7:49 pm**

degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 3:21 pm
The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 1:50 pm
degenerasian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 11:12 am
The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Mar 29, 2023 10:03 am When I switched jobs, I knew it'd be more difficult doing workplace investigations internally rather than as a consultant for clients I didn't have to talk to again. Just got my first sexual harassment case and the allegation is against our head of IT for our East Coast offices. Guy is super friendly and I've spent a decent amount of time conversing with him. Had to call him into my office and interview him. More awkward than I accounted for, but what was worse was reading the interview notes from an allegation against him from before I worked there. Such a mix between laughing and retching. Knowing the female employee made the whole scene soooo much worse. Basically, both drunk at a conference and she consensually went back to his hotel after some kissing and fondling, then he made things weird. The questions from now manager who isn't experienced in investigations were so fucking funny. "Do you normally take your pants off as soon as you enter a hotel room?"
What does 'he made things weird' mean? Even if they had sex, that's not weird, especially after kissing and fondling. She's not transitioning to his room for a chat.

Once she consensually goes back to his hotel room, how do you prove the rest?

"Do you normally take your pants off as soon as you enter a hotel room?" Of course. Even when alone. Anything else would be time wasting.
This thread took a fun turn! She said she only went to his room to use the bathroom. She came out, he pulled a Rudy Guliani and took off his pants and sat on the bed while she was in the bathroom. She came out, got freaked out by him and left. It's alleged he grabbed her hand and made her touch his genitals.
Hmm such a 'mixed' story. Is the kissing and fondling at the party confirmed? Is her hotel room nearby (I'm assuming they travelled together and she's staying there too).

Anyways, what's your role Syb? How are you going to come to a conclusion?

Happened before I worked here, so I wasn't involved. If I was, my role is to interview all parties involved and witnesses, right up a report, and advise senior management on how to proceed. Same guy made some fairly innocuous comments to a female associate in the firm and she said it made her feel uncomfortable. It's reasonable that it made her uncomfortable, even though she said she thinks he meant it as a compliment and did not think he was coming on to her. If this was a first incident, I'd advise giving him a warning and leaving it there. My fear is this guy is a liability and I doubt he will stop himself from saying something stupid again. He is an overly friendly guy and makes people feel uncomfortable. I sensed it the day I met him. Can't put explain it, and I didn't think of him as a sexual predator, just a little skeevy. Some people love him.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 10:20 am**

I totally just gave the passive-aggressive thumbs up to an email. I also yesterday did the stock reply of "I received it. Thank you." and changed the "!" to a "."

For the record, the thumbs up came after I made a valid complaint that constant lag was affecting my work-flow. I'm ready to pull some Dowager Countess-level shade on these twits.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:05 am**

I sat this discussion out, but view the thumbs up emoji as entirely passive aggressive/saracastic in these contexts. Age 52. Lawn, get off it.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:41 am**

hmm. i have been giving - and continue to give - a thumbsup response to Teams chatter. like multiple times per day. And I receive them as well. I can't see any way that's interpreted as anything negative; as a counterpoint, sometimes an actual response received is more annoying.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:49 am**

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:41 am hmm. i have been giving - and continue to give - a thumbsup response to Teams chatter. like multiple times per day. And I receive them as well. I can't see any way that's interpreted as anything negative; as a counterpoint, sometimes an actual response received is more annoying.

understood, chief

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:52 am**

Also use the thumbs up a lot. Common soccer gesture, what could be the harm?

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 12:14 pm**

Yeah, in Teams or on Messenger or on my iPhone, especially in a group setting, I'm going to continue with a thumbs up. People will know when I'm giving them snark, no ambiguity on those few and far between messages.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 12:22 pm**

Ryan wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:52 am Also use the thumbs up a lot. Common soccer gesture, what could be the harm?

"He's telling you it was a good idea but our execution one on side or the other was lacking."

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 12:37 pm**

tennbengal wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:49 am
MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:41 am hmm. i have been giving - and continue to give - a thumbsup response to Teams chatter. like multiple times per day. And I receive them as well. I can't see any way that's interpreted as anything negative; as a counterpoint, sometimes an actual response received is more annoying.
understood, chief

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:11 pm**

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 11:41 am hmm. i have been giving - and continue to give - a thumbsup response to Teams chatter. like multiple times per day. And I receive them as well. I can't see any way that's interpreted as anything negative; as a counterpoint, sometimes an actual response received is more annoying.

I seem to recall that Teams has limited emoji options. Thumbs up is fine for that.

FWIW, I fucking hated Teams as a communication tool. We switched to it for both chat and video conferencing a year or so ago and nearly caused a revolt. Slack came back within a month. Teams is just awful compared to Slack. I think it's fine for video calls, but lots of people hate it for that, so most of our devs still use Zoom for calls.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:33 pm**

I've never used Slack, but Teams is pretty good for organizing your various chat groups and working groups. I find Zoom just as clunky from a video conferencing standpoint as Teams, but I've also never tried to collaborate on Zoom.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:38 pm**

Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:33 pm I've never used Slack, but Teams is pretty good for organizing your various chat groups and working groups.

Teams is great for this if PEOPLE WILL FUCKING AGREE TO USE IT. Every time my company tries to use it for more than calls and chat it becomes an absolute mess, because there is never any trining on how to use it best.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:46 pm**

Yeah, Teams works really well for us.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:48 pm**

A_B wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:38 pm
Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:33 pm I've never used Slack, but Teams is pretty good for organizing your various chat groups and working groups.
Teams is great for this if PEOPLE WILL FUCKING AGREE TO USE IT. Every time my company tries to use it for more than calls and chat it becomes an absolute mess, because there is never any trining on how to use it best.

Previous company was great at utilizing Teams to its fullest. New firm is a mix of Teams and Zoom for meetings, except for the one asshole who insists on scheduling meetings on Webex. I've never used Slack, but I've had several investigations off Slack use, yet never had one from Teams or other IM platforms. Something about Slack makes people think it's ok to make racist/misogynistic jokes or make sexual remarks. I know it automatically deletes, but people take screen shots, so don't fucking type it!

I'm very basic in my needs, and Teams is great at everything I need from it.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:00 pm**

I mean, we went from ZERO online collaboration (I mean, I don't count having a shared drive, but I guess not exactly zero) to at least in our department, that's where we store files and we do a TON of work with shared documents now.

And once I found out about version history in Sharepoint, that changed the game. Because sometimes ppl fuck up in a group document and you lose an entire paragraph or someone that is stupid tries to make edits and if you didn't know you could go back, you were fucked.

The one thing my organization needs to push out is "email is for tasking, Teams is fine for chatting." Because it's a real PITA when someone says something you need to go back and find in the gazillion chats I have going.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:06 pm**

Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:00 pm The one thing my organization needs to push out is "email is for tasking, Teams is fine for chatting." Because it's a real PITA when someone says something you need to go back and find in the gazillion chats I have going.

YUP. I'm at the point where I'm just honest with them now. I tell them to send me an e-mail with the request because I'm in the middle of something (posting in the Swamp) and I will likely forget.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:26 pm**

Our Teams chats delete in one week. That threw me, as I planned on going back to links people sent through teams or look up a conversation and its gone.

We have a document storage system called iManage, I think it's meant for law firms because it has all sorts of features for when you need docs for litigation purposes. It's the worst program I've ever used, I hate it so much. Plus IT makes me ask for access to documents on a one-off basis, they won't give me access until I specifically need it. And the worst part, if you open a file, if there are docs you don't have access to open, it appears as though the file is empty, so you don't even know if there are files you need but don't have access. We use this to store all documents. It's infuriating.

Posted: **Wed Apr 05, 2023 2:46 pm**

The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:48 pm
A_B wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:38 pm
Nonlinear FC wrote: ↑Wed Apr 05, 2023 1:33 pm I've never used Slack, but Teams is pretty good for organizing your various chat groups and working groups.
Teams is great for this if PEOPLE WILL FUCKING AGREE TO USE IT. Every time my company tries to use it for more than calls and chat it becomes an absolute mess, because there is never any trining on how to use it best.
Previous company was great at utilizing Teams to its fullest. New firm is a mix of Teams and Zoom for meetings, except for the one asshole who insists on scheduling meetings on Webex. I've never used Slack, but I've had several investigations off Slack use, yet never had one from Teams or other IM platforms. Something about Slack makes people think it's ok to make racist/misogynistic jokes or make sexual remarks. I know it automatically deletes, but people take screen shots, so don't fucking type it!

I'm very basic in my needs, and Teams is great at everything I need from it.

A lot of gamer communities use the free versions of Slack (and Discord, for that matter). There's probably a familiarity of after hours, douche-bro that creeps into their work life. I'm guessing people have similar experiences with Discord for that reason.

Posted: **Thu Apr 13, 2023 4:09 pm**

Some of you may recall that a few years ago I applied for a lead position but lost out. The previous lead had her 'favorite' so I applied really to show interest to the manager that I was ambitious but really, I had no chance. Got a courtesy interview.

Now after a few years under this guy, it's been a real struggle and continuous improvements are very slow. The team feels like they're going backwards and nobody cares, he's just prodding along. So we've given up hope, just work and go through the motions. I've been working less and less with the twins at home, just getting by, apathetic.

Or maybe not. This morning we got this email from the manager.

Good morning. Over the next while I will be sending you a meeting invite (short 15/20 minutes) to chat about your Lead and his style of leadership. He is well aware that I am doing this and actually wants to hear your feedback. All responses will be kept individually confidential however I will sit down with him at the end and discuss the overall sentiments that were expressed. I will have a list of questions sent to you ahead of the meeting so you have time to think about the answers. Again, I will not be reporting to him about your individual answers – just an overall view of how he is doing.

So just by reading that text between the lines, how much trouble is this guy really in for such an email to have to go out? Or is this just some window dressing?

Posted: **Thu Apr 13, 2023 4:15 pm**

degenerasian wrote: ↑Thu Apr 13, 2023 4:09 pm Some of you may recall that a few years ago I applied for a lead position but lost out. The previous lead had her 'favorite' so I applied really to show interest to the manager that I was ambitious but really, I had no chance. Got a courtesy interview.

Now after a few years under this guy, it's been a real struggle and continuous improvements are very slow. The team feels like they're going backwards and nobody cares, he's just prodding along. So we've given up hope, just work and go through the motions. I've been working less and less with the twins at home, just getting by, apathetic.

Or maybe not. This morning we got this email from the manager.

Good morning. Over the next while I will be sending you a meeting invite (short 15/20 minutes) to chat about your Lead and his style of leadership. He is well aware that I am doing this and actually wants to hear your feedback. All responses will be kept individually confidential however I will sit down with him at the end and discuss the overall sentiments that were expressed. I will have a list of questions sent to you ahead of the meeting so you have time to think about the answers. Again, I will not be reporting to him about your individual answers – just an overall view of how he is doing.
So just by reading that text between the lines, how much trouble is this guy really in for such an email to have to go out? Or is this just some window dressing?

I would sit down and layout in a thousand words what is going on, why you feel it is going that way, and how you would like to see things improve.

Basically, bury them in facts and source your suggested improvements.

Posted: **Thu Apr 13, 2023 4:26 pm**

If that were me and review-your-manager weren't a standard process, I'd probably decide I was out one way or another.

The Swamp

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