CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 2:53 pm

A_B wrote:
rass wrote:
BSF21 wrote:Anyone not asking about the backstory of "Angry Sticker Guy" is doing it wrong.
Guy who vigorously defends his reserved parking spot against any and all trespassers by plastering giant stickers (not just paper with a piece of scotch tape) across the windshield of the offending car. He gets bonus points for doing it himself and not sending out a pleb to take care of it. He seems to have mellowed a bit the last couple of years. We figure it's either because he became a grandfather, or had a heart attack (he has taken up throwing on a pair of sneakers and walking around the parking lot at lunch).

The spawn of... parks next to him and is presumably his son.

My company shared our old building with the USDA. They had some reserved spots for their higher ups, the only company in the building to have them. They were right by the main entrance and not well marked - only on the curb not a sign or anything - that said "Parking for USDA". Many many times this guy would lose his spot and come out at lunch or quitting time and wait for a LONG time until the person showed up. He'd then be a total dick about it. Screaming, etc.

The best time was an old man who came to the USDA for something or other and had just been in a meeting with the guy (we found this out from a USDA employee who we were friendly with) and when the meeting was over the old guy went to leave and the other guy followed him to the parking lot to stake out whoever had his spot. Despite clearly working with the guy on something with the USDA , he still was a total ass. He pointed to the sign and the old guy apparently told him he saw the sign and was here for the USDA and that sign isn't the least bit clear and then submitted a complaint to the guy's boss. They removed the reserved parking shortly thereafter.

And the karma of the story makes us all a bit happier!

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 3:04 pm

Assuming rass works in IT, right? This sort of elaborate network of in-jokes would be made possible by:

1. A predominantly (or entirely) male peer group;
2. Extended hours tied to your desk, necessitating creative ways to amuse yourselves; and
3. Physical separation from anyone else who might overhear and get offended.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Jun 19, 2015 6:15 am

4. Windows overlooking the parking lot.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Jul 08, 2015 1:17 pm

There is a Red Bull themed Mini Cooper, complete with a giant can on the roof, parked in our parking lot. Two attractive young ladies unloaded four cases of (presumably) Red Bull into some dude's Jeep Liberty. Dude (who may not work in this complex, as he is wearing a service worker-y pinned on name tag) is currently leaning over the passenger side, chattin' 'em up.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Wed Jul 08, 2015 3:04 pm

rass wrote:There is a Red Bull themed Mini Cooper, complete with a giant can on the roof, parked in our parking lot. Two attractive young ladies unloaded four cases of (presumably) Red Bull into some dude's Jeep Liberty. Dude (who may not work in this complex, as he is wearing a service worker-y pinned on name tag) is currently leaning over the passenger side, chattin' 'em up.

Seems to be in the vein of:

Mitch Hedburg wrote:When I was a kid I had a paper route. Which means I had to get up early and go to 2000 houses. Or 2 dumpsters.

Post by **Sabo** » Thu Jul 16, 2015 12:09 pm

As many of you know, I work for a newspaper company as a Mac administrator. I have a reputation among some of our publishers of being a bad news guy because I frequently tell them they need to spend money on something, like new computers, upgraded software, servers, etc.

Well, I was on the phone with one of our publishers for a support call, and he asked when I would be in his market next. I told him there's a project in the works that, if it comes to pass, would require me to be in his market for a few days sometime early next year. I then told him we probably would need to upgrade all of the Macs in his office before they can use the project, which would cost him several thousand dollars.

He then asked me if I would hold "for another call", and I said sure. He then hung up on me.

I'm almost certain it's a coincidence, but I'm still laughing about it.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Jul 16, 2015 3:20 pm

Overheard a great conversation. Some of the drones over in sector 7-G were talking about summer concerts, and one guy somewhat arrogantly said, "well, I'd consider myself a bit of a Jimmy Buffet fan. I've been to well over 100 Buffet concerts."

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 16, 2015 3:24 pm

"So then what do you do for fun?"

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:17 am

I work now at a pretty sizable campus for a mutual fund company, large enough that one could run a 5K during lunch. Seeing this, the first floor bathrooms at each building have locker rooms and showers.

There is some inveterate shitbag who gets people's towels hanging to dry in the lockers and throws them on the floor. If I were so inclined I would try to set a trap for him. Maybe rub this athlete's foot-laden towel all over his mouse and keyboard and shit. I've gotten to call this assclown "Towel Qaeda".

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:27 am

Is there some rule against hanging towels, and he's passively-aggressively trying to punish people by throwing them on the floor, or is he just randomly being a dick?

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Jul 20, 2015 5:44 am

Nice hot weekend, and the AC hasn't kicked in at the office building yet. 90+ degrees up here on the third floor at 6:30AM this morning...

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:21 pm

Still 82 degrees in the inner offices. I think the ones with windows are a little warmer.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Mon Jul 20, 2015 6:16 pm

rass wrote:Still 82 degrees in the inner offices. I think the ones with windows are a little warmer.

Is it broken? AC at the gym was not working today, which made the workout real fun. I figured as much when my shirt was sweatstained before I even touched a barbell.

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Jul 21, 2015 5:36 am

Brontoburglar wrote:
rass wrote:Still 82 degrees in the inner offices. I think the ones with windows are a little warmer.
Is it broken? AC at the gym was not working today, which made the workout real fun. I figured as much when my shirt was sweatstained before I even touched a barbell.

Broken.

Now fixed. Just under 20 degrees cooler in here this morning.

DaveInSeattle · Post by **DaveInSeattle** » Wed Jul 22, 2015 6:56 pm

For any/all managers out there....when you are in a group meeting with 12 people and 2 of them are contractors, don't joke about the contractors being "second class citizens". Tends to sap the motivation...

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:24 pm

One of my coworkers threw out her pyrex dish because the food had gone bad in it.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:32 pm

Did you?

Post by **brian** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:51 pm

Closest I've ever come to quitting my job today in a huff. A co-worker I despise told a customer I'd run a time-sensitive custom report (has to be run at noon Eastern) for them on Aug. 15 which happens to be a Saturday without even checking with me first (I've done similar stuff before in the past if I get asked ahead of time and can prepare/am aware). I told her I'd see what I could do, but if push comes to shove the weekend is the weekend and I'm not sitting at home to save her ass just because she's stupid (paraphrasing a bit, but she knows I think she's stupid).

She goes and tells our boss, who gently asks me what I can do (he's a nice guy and I like him, but he carries incompetent people too much), but I told him the same thing about running the report and said if she pulls the same shit again either she goes or I go. (And I'm not afraid to call his bluff on either count. I have plenty of money saved up to not have to work for a year if it comes to that. Not that I don't think I couldn't get another job fairly soon.)

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:03 pm

This co-worker is at or below your level?

Post by **brian** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:06 pm

mister d wrote:This co-worker is at or below your level?

Most accurate would be to say "at". I have much more experience and have been with the company longer, but my position is kind of a hybrid since we're a relativiely small company. We both report directly to the VP of Customer Loyalty though.

Post by **brian** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:09 pm

This could just be my opinion, but I think she's infinitely replaceable and just about anyone with a lick of common sense could do her job (probably evidenced by the fact that she works for a software company and literally doesn't know how software works and has managed to keep her job with us for like three years). Whereas I'm one of only two people in the company who know how to do about 50 percent of the shit I do on a daily basis. If I really decided to quit and definitely if I decided to quit on the spot with no notice they'd be royally fucked.

cerrano · Post by **cerrano** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:09 pm

brian wrote:Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Post by **brian** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:11 pm

Love that movie.

The thing I like the most about my job is that I DON'T have to deal with customers. That's the only reason I've lasted this long. I would have quit ages ago were that not true.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:19 pm

If this is a run/send, run the report and send it to her to send on to them just to ensure she has to work that Saturday too.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:41 pm

"As a huge favor to you, yes. As long as every minute that I'm working on this on that Saturday, you are cleaning my toilets and detailing my car. And of course I get one of your personal days."

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:09 pm

You work your ass off to get it done the Friday before but you don't send it to her until late Saturday. Easy squeezy lemon peasy.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:14 pm

I misread that it had to be done on Saturday. Totes mcgoats my bad. But I am 100% against you here now that I read it correctly. Yes the weekend is the weekend but if work has to be done it has to be done.

Is she a bitch and should call them and say she didn't realize that was a weekend? Yes? If you already had plans then you tell your boss that and move on. Otherwise isn't it still your job?

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:58 pm

P.D.X. wrote:One of my coworkers threw out her pyrex dish because the food had gone bad in it.

Sure. Cause and effect. Like a leaky water bottle.

Post by **brian** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 10:47 pm

A_B wrote:I misread that it had to be done on Saturday. Totes mcgoats my bad. But I am 100% against you here now that I read it correctly. Yes the weekend is the weekend but if work has to be done it has to be done.

Is she a bitch and should call them and say she didn't realize that was a weekend? Yes? If you already had plans then you tell your boss that and move on. Otherwise isn't it still your job?

There is a complete tacit understanding we don't do shit on weekends unless it is cleared first. There are others with her same position where I would do it for without argument (especially if they apologized and weren't a bitch who made it seem like it was my job) but she's a retarded cunt who drags the entire company down and me especially.

Keg · Post by **Keg** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:29 am

Can you reschedule?

Can you make her do the job since she scheduled it?

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 1:17 pm

This is like reading the comments section over on Deadspin. It has to be run at a specific day and time dammit!

Post by **brian** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 3:26 pm

In any event, it's done. I'll just have to make sure I'm on my computer to run it that day. Sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to do. That's life.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 4:18 pm

You could learn how to schedule the report to run w/out manually kicking it off. Then you'd be a hero to the entire company and you'd have your coworker to thank.

howard · Post by **howard** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 5:11 pm

You start automating your tasks, you can put yourself out of a job.

Post by **brian** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:09 pm

The fact that only one other person who is basically one of my best friends can do my job is incredible job security. If things continue to remain shitty I might just remind them of that come salary review time in December.

Post by **brian** » Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:11 pm

I don't rock the boat now because I'm not an idiot. I'm more or less fairly compensated and getting to work from home is worth at least $10000 in my opinion. But I'm not above squeezing my bosses balls if push comes to shove.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sat Jul 25, 2015 9:51 am

Holy shit. Civilians get their weekends ruined too without prior knowledge? That's so weird.

At least you have a couple weeks heads up. I like the weeks where I'm minding my own business and then at some point on Friday some thing happens and then my plans get screwed over. Or when I do plan something in advance and world events dictate otherwise.

...and if it involves already purchased plane tickets, so help me All_h.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 11:28 am

Johnnie wrote:Holy shit. Civilians get their weekends ruined too without prior knowledge? That's so weird.

At least you have a couple weeks heads up. I like the weeks where I'm minding my own business and then at some point on Friday some thing happens and then my plans get screwed over. Or when I do plan something in advance and world events dictate otherwise.

...and if it involves already purchased plane tickets, so help me All_h.

Back in my lawyering days, I could probably count on my fingers the number of weekends I didn't do any work. Same with my current job, but that has as much to do with wasting time with you people. West coast work does mean frequently getting work dumped on me Friday evening. Just last week I had a client asking if he could change his policies to require employees to respond to e-mails while on vacation. Even California, where employees have insane rights, an employer can do this.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 1:54 pm

That's one of the things I miss most from lawyering. Doing work seven days a week.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Jul 27, 2015 2:16 pm

L-Jam3 wrote:That's one of the things I miss most from lawyering. Doing work seven days a week.

Especially working for an absent minded and overworked litigation partner. So many times when I'm getting ready to go home, he would run into my office in a panic about a filing deadline, asking me to stay late. My wife was pregnant, then home with a newborn at this time, calling me every hour asking when I would be home. Those sessions usually went past midnight.