Top 10 Swampers of 2014, Ranked

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:37 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Johnny Hotcakes wrote:How the fuck is Brian not higher? The man was posting three hours after brain surgery, for crying out loud.
Honestly, I found that whole brain surgery thing to be a bit sycophantic. It may have even knocked him down a couple slots.

Brian needs validation from Jerloma like he needs...

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:56 pm

brian wrote:
brian wrote:Everyone be safe tonight. If anyone blows up downtown Las Vegas, then I might be in trouble. But I got a hotel room, so I won't be wrecking any cars tonight.
Which your precious AB was a party to. Indirectly.

Yeah, not the greatest ending to that night.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:56 pm

rass wrote:
Jerloma wrote:
Johnny Hotcakes wrote:How the fuck is Brian not higher? The man was posting three hours after brain surgery, for crying out loud.
Honestly, I found that whole brain surgery thing to be a bit sycophantic. It may have even knocked him down a couple slots.
Brian needs validation from Jerloma like he needs...

brain surgery.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:00 pm

It seems to me that saving your life, protecting our country from terrorism, and posting immediately after brain surgery should trump my being guided and blessed by Our Savior Jesus Christ. But it's your list.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:35 pm

DC47 wrote:It seems to me that saving your life, protecting our country from terrorism, and posting immediately after brain surgery should trump my being guided and blessed by Our Savior Jesus Christ. But it's your list.

That's the troika of success right there.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:17 am

I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Jan 01, 2015 2:22 pm

bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.

But kicking autism's ass. So you go up 5 spots.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Thu Jan 01, 2015 4:41 pm

BSF21 wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
But kicking autism's ass. So you go up 5 spots.

Not today. It's kicking the shit out of me today.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:21 pm

bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.

You are still bigger, fatter, and Jewier than me, so be proud, my friend.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:40 am

BSF21 wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
But kicking autism's ass. So you go up 5 spots.

Yeah but...Ravens fan. That's a 10 spot deduction.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:43 am

Jerloma wrote:
BSF21 wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
But kicking autism's ass. So you go up 5 spots.
Yeah but...Ravens fan. That's a 10 spot deduction.

I'd still put you on my list. As I've said, I'm the bigger man.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:43 am

But not Rass, fuck him.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:06 am

Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:06 am

rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?

That's where the mayflower van was parked?

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:08 am

A: Because he couldn't drive after he sold all of his vans when he got a new job that allowed him to live a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

Ha!

bapo! · Post by **bapo!** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:02 pm

rass is ranked way too low on this list. Then again, any list that does not include Johnny Carwash is invalid. That's the view from this lurker's window anyway.

Happy New Year, Swamp. I look forward to making 40, perhaps 50 posts here in 2015!

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:08 pm

rass wrote:A: Because he couldn't drive after he sold all of his vans when he got a new job that allowed him to live a more satisfying and fulfilling life.

Ha!

BUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Fri Jan 02, 2015 7:59 pm

AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?

Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 2:57 pm

bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

But the second incarnation of the Browns must be a joy to root for. With the number of starting QBs they have been through, how could it not be exciting?

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 4:28 pm

That would be '"starting QBs."'

Double quotation marks.

When people are ripping Stafford I think back to the long stretch where the Lions went through what the Browns are now enduring. The journeymen who have two good games and then flop, the high draft pick who is a disaster, the journeymen who have two good games and then flop, the high draft pick who is a disaster, the journeymen who ...

Matt Stafford -- not so bad.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 4:36 pm

I was named to a top ten list three hours before I got a blowie from a Hungarian slut.

The things I do to protect your freedoms. You're welcome.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 6:23 pm

bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

With all due respect, fuck the Ravens forever.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 9:01 pm

Pruitt wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.
With all due respect, fuck the Ravens forever.

With all due respect, eat a bag of dicks.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:40 pm

bfj wrote:
Pruitt wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.
With all due respect, fuck the Ravens forever.
With all due respect, eat a bag of dicks.

Go easy on me - rumours are that Shanahan may be coaching the Bills next year.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:33 pm

If you're a Bills fan, why the hatred for the Ravens?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:40 pm

Pruitt, by either fate or masochism or some combination thereof, ended up a fan of the three most downtrodden NFL franchises.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 10:09 pm

bfj wrote:If you're a Bills fan, why the hatred for the Ravens?

The short version of the sad story is that when I was a kid, my father and some of his buddies had Browns seasons tickets (they started going to Cleveland once a year when they were young married guys because the Bills were just an AFL team and the first time they wanted to go to an NFL game, the Lions were sold out). Went to my first game in Cleveland when I was 6 or 7 and then a couple of times a year for almost a full decade. Then my Dad decided that if we were going to do road trips to watch bad football, a day trip would be better than a full weekend. So we started going to Bills games in the late 70's.

Still went to the occasional game in Cleveland, but watched the Bills suck for years before they slowly built to the great team that they were 20+ years ago.

In my heart of hearts, it's Bills #1, Browns #2.

And as bad as that is, it is comical to think that the alternative to being a Bills/Browns fan would have been being a Bills/Lions fan.

Doomed to a football life of agony...

And fuck Art Modell.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 7:44 am

bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

Touche!

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 9:01 am

AB_skin_test wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

Touche!

But fuck Bob Irsay forever.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:58 pm

bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

Touche!
But fuck Bob Irsay forever.

In my mind, the fact that Baltimore poached a team means that their fans can stop bellyaching about Irsay.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:01 pm

Pruitt wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

Touche!
But fuck Bob Irsay forever.
In my mind, the fact that Baltimore poached a team means that their fans can stop bellyaching about Irsay.

Forever this.

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 6:11 pm

Pruitt wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
bfj wrote:
AB_skin_test wrote:
rass wrote:Fuck off.

I have a joke for you!

Q: Why did the Ravens fan walk across the road?
That's where the mayflower van was parked?
Mayflower jokes stopped hurting after we stole your team and won our first title.

Touche!
But fuck Bob Irsay forever.
In my mind, the fact that Baltimore poached a team means that their fans can stop bellyaching about Irsay.

But you can bitch about Modell? You got a new team in 3 years, kept your name/records/colors, got a brand new stadium and kept your long tradition of sucking intact.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 1:27 pm

bfj wrote: But you can bitch about Modell? You got a new team in 3 years, kept your name/records/colors, got a brand new stadium and kept your long tradition of sucking intact.

The old Browns sucked, but had occasional bursts of decent play. And you guys got Ozzie Newsome and a Modell who decided to let football guys run his team. Remember, the original Modell is the only owner (I believe) who fired what will be two HOF coaches. (Paul Brown and Bill Belichick).

But your original point here is completely valid. Maybe we should bury the hatchet and talk about how much fun it is to watch the Bengals lose in the playoffs.

devilfluff · Post by **devilfluff** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 7:41 pm

bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.

You sure about that?

bfj · Post by **bfj** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 8:33 pm

devilfluff wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
You sure about that?

Just going on a hunch.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 8:35 pm

bfj wrote:
devilfluff wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
You sure about that?
Just going on a hunch.

We need a boxing style weigh in complete with stare down.

devilfluff · Post by **devilfluff** » Thu Jan 08, 2015 10:38 pm

The Sybian wrote:
bfj wrote:
devilfluff wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
You sure about that?
Just going on a hunch.
We need a boxing style weigh in complete with stare down.

Nobody wants to stare at my fat, hairy mug!

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Sun Jan 11, 2015 9:35 pm

devilfluff wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
bfj wrote:
devilfluff wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
You sure about that?
Just going on a hunch.
We need a boxing style weigh in complete with stare down.
Nobody wants to stare at my fat, hairy mug!

Don't worry, the cameras will be focused on your shirtless physiques.

devilfluff · Post by **devilfluff** » Sun Jan 11, 2015 10:19 pm

The Sybian wrote:
devilfluff wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
bfj wrote:
devilfluff wrote:
bfj wrote:I'm still the heaviest Swamper. Suck it.
You sure about that?
Just going on a hunch.
We need a boxing style weigh in complete with stare down.
Nobody wants to stare at my fat, hairy mug!

Don't worry, the cameras will be focused on your shirtless physiques.

Just to stoke your fire. My physique was recently described as a pale, doughy pear.

By me...

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:16 am

devilfluff wrote: Just to stoke your fire. My physique was recently described as a pale, doughy pear.

By me...

It's all that beer you're drinking, mail it me.