The Official Swamp Dating Thread

testy boxcar · Post by **testy boxcar** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:36 am

The Pusan Perimeter is a rather famous event in my former life, but it just seemed too easy.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 12:21 pm

testy boxcar wrote:The Pusan Perimeter is a rather famous event in my former life, but it just seemed too easy.

Yeah, crossing the Pusan perimeter is a famous event in all of our former lives.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:12 pm

Korea puns. Outstanding.

rass · Post by **rass** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 7:19 pm

Yeah, sorry I don't have anything more useful.

I'm sure you'll get your Saxon in Germany, though.

Johnny Hotcakes · Post by **Johnny Hotcakes** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:04 pm

rass wrote:
I'm sure you'll get your Saxon in Germany, though.

And if you continue to strike out with the ladies there, maybe it's time to consider switching to Mannheim.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 8:29 pm

Or you could always hop over to this place in Austria.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:29 pm

I find all this insulting.

SlimChristian · Post by **SlimChristian** » Thu Mar 21, 2013 1:21 pm

Johnnie will do well in Germany. They dig black guys.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Thu Mar 21, 2013 5:07 pm

I had to ship something to Pusan a few years ago. It wasn't made of grass, though.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Mar 21, 2013 8:22 pm

SlimChristian wrote:Johnnie will do well in Germany. They dig black guys.

You know, most of the German soccer players on the American team (fathers were US Servicemen) seem to have black fathers. You may be on to something there.

Johnny Hotcakes · Post by **Johnny Hotcakes** » Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:23 pm

Less punning, more dating.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:34 am

This is great. Maybe one day I'll work up the nerve to try it.

devilfluff · Post by **devilfluff** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:05 am

ZMan wrote:As for a second date...man. See this is what shows I am mental about this shit. I want to, because why not? Right? It's a night out, nothing more, and she was good conversation the first time. But otoh, then I feel like I'm getting in deeper. I don't know why I put this pressure on myself, but I do. Which is why I am dreading this whole dating thing to begin with. I wish I could be Mr. Out on a Date with a Different Girl Every Weekend, but I'm not, never have been. I get too involved and am unable to let things slide off.

Go out again, just make it clear you are having fun, but not looking for a relationship. Either she'll bail or you can be guilt-free.

I'd be a terrible dater. If my wife ever got tired of me, I'd end up a hermit.(but I'd have good toys.)

Post by **Sabo** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:35 am

devilfluff wrote:I'd be a terrible dater. If my wife ever got tired of me, I'd end up a hermit. (but I'd have good toys.)

Same for me as well. I'd probably move to a cabin and start writing manifestos.

howard · Post by **howard** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:33 am

Most, if not all, of the locations in that little film were on the campus of UCSB. Gaucho gals are a special kind of intuitive, i guess.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:36 am

Sabo wrote:
devilfluff wrote:I'd be a terrible dater. If my wife ever got tired of me, I'd end up a hermit. (but I'd have good toys.)
Same for me as well. I'd probably move to a cabin and start writing manifestos.

I had you figured for more of a screed guy

Post by **Sabo** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:49 am

Manifestos are my future. I'm currently wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood over my head. I just need some sunglasses and I'll be a manifesto writing machine.

Ryan · Post by **Ryan** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:08 am

Sabo wrote:Manifestos are my future. I'm currently wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood over my head. I just need some sunglasses and I'll be a manifesto writing machine.

At which point you'd have to mailbomb yourself

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:15 am

howard wrote:Most, if not all, of the locations in that little film were on the campus of UCSB. Gaucho gals are a special kind of intuitive, i guess.

A special kind of something, anyway. Holy shit, I have to go back to college.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:40 am

Johnnie wrote:This is great. Maybe one day I'll work up the nerve to try it.

This is a much better technique. Some of these girls seem like they kind of like the idea.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 11:47 am

Steve of phpBB wrote:
howard wrote:Most, if not all, of the locations in that little film were on the campus of UCSB. Gaucho gals are a special kind of intuitive, i guess.
A special kind of something, anyway. Holy shit, I have to go back to college.

I just need to have not gone to college in fucking Buffalo.

Post by **Sabo** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:28 pm

Ryan wrote:
Sabo wrote:Manifestos are my future. I'm currently wearing a hooded sweatshirt with the hood over my head. I just need some sunglasses and I'll be a manifesto writing machine.
At which point you'd have to mailbomb yourself

There would be no mailbox at the cabin.

Problem solved.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:40 pm

Those videos both made me a little uncomfortable.

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 2:05 pm

Just be sure to know if you plan on using the phrase "left me speechless" or not when making follow-up contact.

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:05 pm

The Sybian wrote:
Johnnie wrote:This is great. Maybe one day I'll work up the nerve to try it.

This is a much better technique. Some of these girls seem like they kind of like the idea.

I don't know. The panhandling/manipulating/lying part seems like it would be a dealbreaker for most chicks.

What those videos fail to call much attention to is that the dudes are all fairly good-looking. That's always the best first step in picking up chicks - be good looking.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:15 pm

I'll have to check out this video at home and see if it reflects any of the values of the South Florida area.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 5:52 pm

The Sybian wrote:This is a much better technique. Some of these girls seem like they kind of like the idea.

I watched that video afterward. Honestly, I read about that years ago in either The Game or saw it on a Double Your Dating seminar. It's funny in a "gotcha!" type of way. Though I'm sure you could get a date or 2 because of creativity.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:30 pm

Shirley wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
Johnnie wrote:This is great. Maybe one day I'll work up the nerve to try it.

This is a much better technique. Some of these girls seem like they kind of like the idea.
I don't know. The panhandling/manipulating/lying part seems like it would be a dealbreaker for most chicks.

What those videos fail to call much attention to is that the dudes are all fairly good-looking. That's always the best first step in picking up chicks - be good looking.

Yeah, I was going to comment on that, but Johnnie is is doing Crossfit! Those twigs got nothing on him! I also think it's a lot easier on a college campus, being a closed environment and all. Pull that shot on a public street somewhere, it may not play as well. Then again, pull it off with confidence (as a good looking guy), and it will work some of the time. Do it in a creepy way, hell, it'll still work some of the time. Who am I kidding. Keep swinging, no matter how lamely, and you are going to get some hits.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 7:09 pm

The Sybian wrote:Keep swinging, no matter how lamely, and you are going to get some hits.

That's it. Number of hits. Not batting average. As my long-single brother used to say, "I'm not looking for Miss Right. I'm looking for Miss Right Now!"

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Tue Mar 26, 2013 8:57 pm

sancarlos wrote:
The Sybian wrote:Keep swinging, no matter how lamely, and you are going to get some hits.
That's it. Number of hits. Not batting average. As my long-single brother used to say, "I'm not looking for Miss Right. I'm looking for Miss Right Now!"

At least total bases, right?

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:18 pm

FredRomero wrote:or we could invite all the swampers' ex-wives here.

I keep waiting for news that AussieDave accidentally hit mine with a yacht. Bitch moved Down Under, which is not different than when we were married, just not under me.

Johnny Hotcakes · Post by **Johnny Hotcakes** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:37 pm

My crazy bitch of an ex-gf had the gall to call me the other day completely out of the blue (we hadn't previously talked for five years) in order to request some free medical advice from my wife.

Dave, if you're taking requests, please feel free to also take her out in your yacht the next time you are back in the Pacific Northwest.

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:57 pm

Johnny Hotcakes wrote:My crazy bitch of an ex-gf had the gall to call me the other day completely out of the blue (we hadn't previously talked for five years) in order to request some free medical advice from my wife.

Dave, if you're taking requests, please feel free to also take her out in your yacht the next time you are back in the Pacific Northwest.

Are you a medical professional?

Johnny Hotcakes · Post by **Johnny Hotcakes** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 2:17 pm

Jerloma wrote:
Johnny Hotcakes wrote:My crazy bitch of an ex-gf had the gall to call me the other day completely out of the blue (we hadn't previously talked for five years) in order to request some free medical advice from my wife.

Dave, if you're taking requests, please feel free to also take her out in your yacht the next time you are back in the Pacific Northwest.
Are you a medical professional?

No, but my wife is. She wanted me to solicit medical advice from my wife on her behalf. More than just advice even, she was practically asking for a medical opinion.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:54 pm

Johnny Hotcakes wrote:
Jerloma wrote:
Johnny Hotcakes wrote:My crazy bitch of an ex-gf had the gall to call me the other day completely out of the blue (we hadn't previously talked for five years) in order to request some free medical advice from my wife.

Dave, if you're taking requests, please feel free to also take her out in your yacht the next time you are back in the Pacific Northwest.
Are you a medical professional?
No, but my wife is. She wanted me to solicit medical advice from my wife on her behalf. More than just advice even, she was practically asking for a medical opinion.

It'd be a shame if you misremembered something in repeating it.

Post by **brian** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 9:16 pm

The Sybian wrote:
It'd be a shame if you misremembered something in repeating it.

"It's absolutely impossible to get herpes from an infected partner. Go ahead and have unprotected sex."

Johnny Hotcakes · Post by **Johnny Hotcakes** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 9:41 pm

brian wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
It'd be a shame if you misremembered something in repeating it.
"It's absolutely impossible to get herpes from an infected partner. Go ahead and have unprotected sex."

"My wife said that all STD symptoms show up immediately and there is no such thing as an incubation period. Therefore, the syphillis that you recently found out about definitely didn't come from me.

What's that? You haven't had unprotected sexual intercourse with anybody since our break-up sex in 2007? Hmmm... well, in that case she also told me that syphillis is commonly contracted through toilet seats."

ZMan · Post by **ZMan** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:10 pm

No, no, the labels are misprints. It's perfectly safe to take 20 Tylenol at once if the pain is that bad.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:29 pm

Johnnie wrote:This is great. Maybe one day I'll work up the nerve to try it.

I was expecting better. They think you're a deaf-mute or something. Anyway, I had usually tried to have intercourse with women, not call them and talk about fashion or whatever.

Johnny Hotcakes · Post by **Johnny Hotcakes** » Sun Apr 14, 2013 7:04 pm

Bump.