CUBE LIFE! Office Etiquette

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:45 am

I'd wear a manatee belt.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 12:21 pm

P.D.X. wrote:I'd wear a manatee belt.

Aren't they endangered?

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 12:27 pm

Somewhere, PDX's dog involuntarily shudders...

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:19 pm

There has been a guy hanging out in a distant and secluded corner of the parking for the last hour or so. He is standing next to a black Tesla. I just noticed that he is wearing one blue glove on his left hand (it's almost 60 here, and he is wearing a short-sleeved shirt) and using the fingers of that same hand to hold his cigarette.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:23 pm

rass wrote:There has been a guy hanging out in a distant and secluded corner of the parking for the last hour or so. He is standing next to a black Tesla. I just noticed that he is wearing one blue glove on his left hand (it's almost 60 here, and he is wearing a short-sleeved shirt) and using the fingers of that same hand to hold his cigarette.

That's a total nurse move. Hold your cig in a gloved hand, less smell on your hands afterwards.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:26 pm

A_B wrote:
rass wrote:There has been a guy hanging out in a distant and secluded corner of the parking for the last hour or so. He is standing next to a black Tesla. I just noticed that he is wearing one blue glove on his left hand (it's almost 60 here, and he is wearing a short-sleeved shirt) and using the fingers of that same hand to hold his cigarette.

That's a total nurse move. Hold your cig in a gloved hand, less smell on your hands afterwards.

He wasn't dressed like a nurse (at least not like one on break). Could have been a doc. Didn't think of that.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:28 pm

rass wrote:
A_B wrote:
rass wrote:There has been a guy hanging out in a distant and secluded corner of the parking for the last hour or so. He is standing next to a black Tesla. I just noticed that he is wearing one blue glove on his left hand (it's almost 60 here, and he is wearing a short-sleeved shirt) and using the fingers of that same hand to hold his cigarette.

That's a total nurse move. Hold your cig in a gloved hand, less smell on your hands afterwards.
He wasn't dressed like a nurse (at least not like one on break). Could have been a doc. Didn't think of that.

Misogynist.

Post by **brian** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 5:14 pm

I feel like doctors who smoke should be disbarred.

(And yes I know that's not the word, but you get the idea.)

Don't fucking lecture me about having some beers now and then if you're fucking puffing down on cancer sticks.

howard · Post by **howard** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 5:25 pm

Another step on my long road to cynicism. Third year medical student, in the surgical locker room getting ready to assist on an operation for throat cancer. I'm changing next to one of the leading lung cancer surgeons in the world, puffing away between cases.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 5:33 pm

I don't have a problem with doctors who personally engage in unhealthy habits, because they have seen some shit. Just as long as the advice they are giving me is medically sound. A case where "do as I say, not as I do" is perfectly valid.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 8:11 pm

howard wrote:Another step on my long road to cynicism. Third year medical student, in the surgical locker room getting ready to assist on an operation for throat cancer. I'm changing next to one of the leading lung cancer surgeons in the world, puffing away between cases.

He just wanted to be prepared for the day he gets throat cancer. It never sat right going to a hospital and seeing a gaggle of nurses and doctors smoking outside.

So I think I mentioned the former NFLer (and O-lineman for Donovan McNabb in college) who works in my office. He was at the copier the other day, causing it to beep way too many times. Finally, he asks someone what he is doing wrong. "The machine says 'out of paper,' what does that mean." It means you took too many blows to the head.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 9:24 pm

The Sybian wrote:
howard wrote:Another step on my long road to cynicism. Third year medical student, in the surgical locker room getting ready to assist on an operation for throat cancer. I'm changing next to one of the leading lung cancer surgeons in the world, puffing away between cases.
He just wanted to be prepared for the day he gets throat cancer. It never sat right going to a hospital and seeing a gaggle of nurses and doctors smoking outside.

So I think I mentioned the former NFLer (and O-lineman for Donovan McNabb in college) who works in my office. He was at the copier the other day, causing it to beep way too many times. Finally, he asks someone what he is doing wrong. "The machine says 'out of paper,' what does that mean." It means you took too many blows to the head.

Sabo played for the Eagles?

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 9:33 pm

A_B wrote:
The Sybian wrote:
howard wrote:Another step on my long road to cynicism. Third year medical student, in the surgical locker room getting ready to assist on an operation for throat cancer. I'm changing next to one of the leading lung cancer surgeons in the world, puffing away between cases.
He just wanted to be prepared for the day he gets throat cancer. It never sat right going to a hospital and seeing a gaggle of nurses and doctors smoking outside.

So I think I mentioned the former NFLer (and O-lineman for Donovan McNabb in college) who works in my office. He was at the copier the other day, causing it to beep way too many times. Finally, he asks someone what he is doing wrong. "The machine says 'out of paper,' what does that mean." It means you took too many blows to the head.

Sabo played for the Eagles?

No, 'Cuse. This guy was drafted by the Saints, but injured during rookie hazing and cut because he wasn't able to participate at camp. He won a decent settlement in a fairly publicized case.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 12:36 am

The Sybian wrote:
A_B wrote: Sabo played for the Eagles?
No, 'Cuse. This guy was drafted by the Saints, but injured during rookie hazing and cut because he wasn't able to participate at camp. He won a decent settlement in a fairly publicized case.

Jeez. You think you know a guy. He never posted about that even once.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:54 pm

Just saw something on reddit that made me think: what percentage of people at your workplace leave PowerPoint in edit (i.e. non-presentation) mode when presenting?

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Fri Apr 01, 2016 8:59 am

Back to the Cube this morning. My employees completely cleared out my office and decorated my cube exactly how it was for April Fools.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Apr 04, 2016 1:15 pm

rass wrote:Non-comprehensive list of nicknames given to people who work in my office complex (active):

Photo of The Dome (giant bald scalp surrounded by hair on all sides) holding an umbrella for The Hog. They walked out to The Hog's car in the same manner.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Mon Apr 04, 2016 1:47 pm

That's depressing.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:40 pm

rass wrote: Photo of The Dome (giant bald scalp surrounded by hair on all sides) holding an umbrella for The Hog. They walked out to The Hog's car in the same manner.

The Dome needs to change to Fonzworth Bentley

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:42 pm

Did they go to the car so Hog could get some dome from Dome on his hog?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Apr 04, 2016 2:56 pm

This reminded me that rass still owes us explanations for everyone on the comprehensive list of nicknames he posted a while back.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 9:19 am

If you put someone on hold during a call you initiated, for anything short of a life-or-death emergency, you are basically the worst person in the world.

Post by **brian** » Wed May 18, 2016 12:34 pm

(I assume we can all keep this amongst ourselves since I'm going to share a screenshot with real names though I've blanked out last names.)

So there's this co-worker of mine I absolutely can't stand. She's a vacuous twit whom I can't understand why the company keeps around and she causes everyone (but especially me) more work because of her stupidity. A little background for below. She's been pestering everyone in the company about this bug that we resolved this morning for the last two days. So here's a Slack conversation that includes her (Emily) and my boss and the company owner (Doug).

Needless to say myself and the sizable anti-Emily crowd had a good laugh over that one. For all her stupidity those in positions of power either seem to ignore it or value her contributions in some way.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed May 18, 2016 12:36 pm

I'd be happy with that level of dumb some days.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed May 18, 2016 1:14 pm

Who's gonna say it ...

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Wed May 18, 2016 1:38 pm

Giff wrote:I'd be happy with that ... d ... some days.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed May 18, 2016 1:45 pm

Nearly did the exact same thing.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Wed May 18, 2016 1:54 pm

Hilarious. We did it and now we're getting a divorce and now I lost my kids. Keep making the jokes, assholes.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Wed May 18, 2016 1:55 pm

Giff wrote:Hilarious. We did it and now we're getting a divorce and now I lost my ... asshole...

howard · Post by **howard** » Wed May 18, 2016 5:31 pm

Giff wrote:Keep making the jokes, assholes.

Anything for you, will do!

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Thu May 19, 2016 1:59 pm

So I noticed this thing? It was a small percentage of people at my old work? But it's more prevalent at my new job? Broads did it, but now dudes do too? It's this constant rising intonation? Sometimes it's called uptalk? It's really fucking annoying? It makes them sound like their unsure? And complete fucking idiots? And it's not just millennials?

I wonder if they do it in other aspects of their life? Like in the throes of passion? Oh yes? Give it to me? That's good? Yes? Yes? YES?

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Thu May 19, 2016 2:01 pm

Are they Canadian?

Post by **brian** » Thu May 19, 2016 2:01 pm

L-Jam3 wrote:So I noticed this thing? It was a small percentage of people at my old work? But it's more prevalent at my new job? Broads did it, but now dudes do too? It's this constant rising intonation? Sometimes it's called uptalk? It's really fucking annoying? It makes them sound like their unsure? And complete fucking idiots? And it's not just millennials?

I wonder if they do it in other aspects of their life? Like in the throes of passion? Oh yes? Give it to me? That's good? Yes? Yes? YES?

Maybe not surprising, but the dipshit I referenced at my office upthread does it and it drives me fucking bonkers. Though fortunately, I can't really think of anyone else who does.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu May 19, 2016 2:34 pm

I go from screaming in the beginning to whispering at the end of every sentence I speak. Secret to my vast success.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu May 19, 2016 9:55 pm

L-Jam3 wrote:So I noticed this thing? It was a small percentage of people at my old work? But it's more prevalent at my new job? Broads did it, but now dudes do too? It's this constant rising intonation? Sometimes it's called uptalk? It's really fucking annoying? It makes them sound like their unsure? And complete fucking idiots? And it's not just millennials?

I wonder if they do it in other aspects of their life? Like in the throes of passion? Oh yes? Give it to me? That's good? Yes? Yes? YES?

I hate that so much. Drives me nuts, and makes the person look vapid and idiotic. Can't say I've heard a guy do it, though. My company is based outside of San Fran, and it seems more prevalent out there. My boss grew up in So-Cal (no idea where), and she occasionally slips into something similar, peppered with a lot of "fer sure." She is the greatest, so I can't be annoyed by anything she does, but everyone else is another story.

Moreta · Post by **Moreta** » Fri May 20, 2016 8:58 am

Uptalk from a man tends to immediately feminize his tone. It's an interesting phenomenon.

Vocal patterns that make you sound uncertain don't play well in my line of work. We have one cop (female) that does it and she's considered barely competent and too passive by most.

rass · Post by **rass** » Fri May 20, 2016 9:02 am

Moreta wrote:Uptalk from a man tends to immediately feminize his tone. It's an interesting phenomenon.

Vocal patterns that make you sound uncertain don't play well in my line of work. We have one cop (female) that does it and she's considered barely competent and too passive by most.

Hooks?

GoodKarma · Post by **GoodKarma** » Fri May 20, 2016 10:00 am

L-Jam3 wrote:So I noticed this thing? It was a small percentage of people at my old work? But it's more prevalent at my new job? Broads did it, but now dudes do too? It's this constant rising intonation? Sometimes it's called uptalk? It's really fucking annoying? It makes them sound like their unsure? And complete fucking idiots? And it's not just millennials?

I wonder if they do it in other aspects of their life? Like in the throes of passion? Oh yes? Give it to me? That's good? Yes? Yes? YES?

I notice it mainly in younger women...30ish or under. At my last job we had a 20-something we nicknamed Michelle b/c when she talked it reminded us of "this one time...at band camp?"...which I think is hilarious on it's own merit.

duff · Post by **duff** » Fri May 20, 2016 10:25 am

rass wrote:
Moreta wrote:Uptalk from a man tends to immediately feminize his tone. It's an interesting phenomenon.

Vocal patterns that make you sound uncertain don't play well in my line of work. We have one cop (female) that does it and she's considered barely competent and too passive by most.
Hooks?

My immediate thought.

Moreta · Post by **Moreta** » Fri May 20, 2016 10:33 am