The OFFICIAL Irony thread

[A_B]

New Pornographers thing fails miserably.

Are kids not new?


(/jeslenik'ed with way less of the actual humor)

[Jerloma]

Kids are new but you understand that the more ped that the band name sounds, the less ironic it gets, right?

[P.D.X.]

There’s no logic there.

[rass]

What if something unthinkable happened, like if the songwriter of The Kids Are Alright got busted for the same crime?

[mister d]

I don't think that's true. It would be more ironic for Dres to be trampled by Black Sheep than like Sonny Cheeba.

[Ryan]

Challenge accepted

[A_B]

Kids are new but you understand that the more ped that the band name sounds, the less ironic it gets, right?

Yeah, but do you understand I'm incapable of being serious for one fucking second?

[Jerloma]

Being a self-proclaimed Black Sheep, Dres being trampled by a flock of Black Sheep would certainly be ironic. Dres owning a Black Sheep as a pet however would not be at all.

The name of the band would have to be something anti-porn, like Ped Busters or The Porn Narcs for any irony to exist.

[mister d]

Then why doesn't one of the oldest forms of pornography count for someone who is in a band that explicitly promotes new pornography?

[The Sybian]

I’m with JLo. Only way this could be more on the nose is if the bane of the band was Young Pornographers.

[Steve of phpBB]

Plus, no one who was really engaged in child pornographing would publicly admit it in their band name.

[A_B]

Plus, no one who was really engaged in child pornographing would publicly admit it in their band name.

Nex you're gonna tell me people weren't watching TV on the radio.

[P.D.X.]

The implication that all bands are harboring desires or impulses as implicated by their name is one of the funnier things I think I've read here. So many places to go with that.

[mister d]

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah is a funny one in its simplicity.

[L-Jam3]

Maybe?

[Nonlinear FC]

Um. Why is she walking around with $3k in cash??

That's fucking weird.

[L-Jam3]

To pay for her shitty hair extensions?

[mister d]

I want to believe that over $3,000 is where you have to prove the amount or something, like how you can't (couldn't?) deposit over $10,000 at a time without the IRS being notified.

[mister d]

"How can I respond in a way that makes everyone even more suspicious than they already were?"



I'd like to think someone followed up asking how they paid for everything but I imagine that would risk being seen as journalism.

[Nonlinear FC]

Yeah, that's not fucking suspicious at all.

We're dealing with a bunch of wannabe gangsters... Leave no paper trail? As a member of the cabinet?

Fucking weirdos.

[mister d]

Ask to see proof of the withdrawal and let her get all weird about it, no? Worst case is she just proves it and they didn't lie this one time.

[HaulCitgo]

Right. Withdrawal the key word. If you withdrew it no problem

[A_B]

While it isn't something I've done except one time, I do know several people who keep shockingly large amounts of cash on them, even in this day and age. Not saying it with 100% certainty, but this looks like a windmill to me.

[Nonlinear FC]

In the grand scheme of things this is absolutely not a big deal. I just find it really weird for ANYONE to carry that much cash around.

But I'm an ADHD creature that learned a long time ago to ward off potential disasters, having misplaced my wallet quite a bit in my younger years. Carrying around a bunch of cash doesn't even occur to me, just out of lessons learned/habit.

[mister d]

I don't think its inherently a big deal, but I think you could probably make a pretty big deal out of Noem doing so (and getting robbed) if you pull the string enough. What are the odds she's really just big on carrying cash for dining out versus "something else"?

[Nonlinear FC]

I mean, I'm listening to a podcast focused on the rampant corruption of the New Bedford PD and... Let's just say I find any member of any kind of law enforcement walking around with $3k to be HIGHLY fucking suspicious.

[HaulCitgo]

She's been in govt her entire life... Where did she get $3000

[sancarlos]

In the grand scheme of things this is absolutely not a big deal. I just find it really weird for ANYONE to carry that much cash around.

But I'm an ADHD creature that learned a long time ago to ward off potential disasters, having misplaced my wallet quite a bit in my younger years. Carrying around a bunch of cash doesn't even occur to me, just out of lessons learned/habit.

My Canadian cousin paid me in cash for three hockey tickets the other day. I was still carrying the cash around in my wallet when I couldn’t find my wallet for awhile this morning. Panic!

[DSafetyGuy]

Since she is reportedly having an affair with the also-married Corey Lewandowski, it has been theorized that she uses cash for expenses related to that so there is no trail on a credit card, such as hotel rooms.

[A_B]

Since she is reportedly having an affair with the also-married Corey Lewandowski, it has been theorized that she uses cash for expenses related to that so there is no trail on a credit card, such as hotel rooms.

But isn’t that also none of our business? If she were bailing out hegseth personally it’s still not like this was fifty grand. I don’t even like these people! But getting worked up over 3 grand is a distraction at best.

[L-Jam3]

Since she is reportedly having an affair with the also-married Corey Lewandowski, it has been theorized that she uses cash for expenses related to that so there is no trail on a credit card, such as hotel rooms.

But isn’t that also none of our business? If she were bailing out hegseth personally it’s still not like this was fifty grand. I don’t even like these people! But getting worked up over 3 grand is a distraction at best.

Counterpoint: she is taking depraved joy in causing long-term harm to human beings, the very definition of sadism. Each and every opportunity to extract a measure of retribution against her is warranted.

[mister d]

Yup. It’s not cool to make fun of alcoholics but if one is running the DoD you get a pass. Fuck them all.

[Jerloma]

Since she is reportedly having an affair with the also-married Corey Lewandowski, it has been theorized that she uses cash for expenses related to that so there is no trail on a credit card, such as hotel rooms.

But isn’t that also none of our business? If she were bailing out hegseth personally it’s still not like this was fifty grand. I don’t even like these people! But getting worked up over 3 grand is a distraction at best.

Counterpoint: she is taking depraved joy in causing long-term harm to human beings, the very definition of sadism. Each and every opportunity to extract a measure of retribution against her is warranted.

Also...executed a perfectly healthy puppy and bragged about it.

[A_B]

I had forgotten about the dog, and yes I think these people are as awful as you guys do, and I'm not defending it and I do think it's funny that she lost her purse when she has security detail.

You guys wouldn't be cool if someone asked you to produce a withdrawal statement for a comparative amount of cash, and neither would I. I just can't get myself worked up over this particular thing when there are so many other things that are much worse than me giving a shit if someone is out hunting side dick or carrying too much cash. But it may bother you all more than me, so I should just excuse myself.

[The Sybian]

I had forgotten about the dog, and yes I think these people are as awful as you guys do, and I'm not defending it and I do think it's funny that she lost her purse when she has security detail.

You guys wouldn't be cool if someone asked you to produce a withdrawal statement for a comparative amount of cash, and neither would I. I just can't get myself worked up over this particular thing when there are so many other things that are much worse than me giving a shit if someone is out hunting side dick or carrying too much cash. But it may bother you all more than me, so I should just excuse myself.

I’m with AB on this one. It’s funny because she is a horrible, evil person, but not worth discussing beyond the initial Nelson Muntz finger point and laugh. So many examples of Constitutional crises happening, carrying $3,000 in cash is weird, but not worthy of taking up oxygen.

[Nonlinear FC]

It takes very little physical and emotional energy to think/type "that's fucking weird" about a bunch of fucking weirdos. We're not banging out 1000 word opinion pieces on it, we're just pointing out that it's fucking weird.

[mister d]

I’m with AB on this one. It’s funny because she is a horrible, evil person, but not worth discussing beyond the initial Nelson Muntz finger point and laugh. So many examples of Constitutional crises happening, carrying $3,000 in cash is weird, but not worthy of taking up oxygen.

If you put her on the defensive about "taking out $3,000 for lunch", its less time for her to be on the offensive against trans kids or whatever else she had booked for this week.

[Nonlinear FC]

And not for nothing, this is EXACTLY the type of shit that Fox and the rest of the truly fake news industry obsesses over and gets their folks worked up about.

Pretty good example of why they "win" in this environment. NOTHING is too petty and insignificant for them to get worked up about. And the simpler the issue the better, because their mouth-breathing audience can't deal with too many details and nuance.

[The Sybian]

And not for nothing, this is EXACTLY the type of shit that Fox and the rest of the truly fake news industry obsesses over and gets their folks worked up about.

Pretty good example of why they "win" in this environment. NOTHING is too petty and insignificant for them to get worked up about. And the simpler the issue the better, b ecause their mouth-breathing audience can't deal with too many details and nuance.

They have the luxury of harping on stupid shit like Obama wearing a tan sun or ordering Dijon mustard because Obama wasn’t brazenly violating SCt decisions and eroding our democracy all while tanking the economy in an effort to make our closest allies enemies.

MisterD makes a good point, but if they are smart, they’d just ignore this story and continue saying the Dems are fighting to allow MS13 into the country to kill us all.

[Steve of phpBB]

What’s the opposite of irony?

https://www.fox13now.com/news/crime/ore ... on-charges

“An Orem psychologist who wrote a book on breaking addictions to pornography has been arrested on multiple child sexual exploitation and voyeurism charges.”