The Official Swamp Dating Thread

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 5:56 pm

Not every woman likes to cuddle while sleeping

cerrano · Post by **cerrano** » Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:30 pm

Brontoburglar wrote:Not every woman likes to cuddle while sleeping

thank god for that.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 2:52 am

Johnnie wrote:And in other news, I've learned that if I ever do get married we're getting separate beds. Not because of some retro throwback to 1950's Americana, but because when I have a bed large enough for two people to comfortably sleep in with space left over, I simply cannot tolerate being woken up because I'm about to fall off of one side due to being overcuddled. This is exacerbated by my having to sleep with a CPAP machine.

Well, that becomes less of an issue once you're married. Most of the cuddling is during the pre-marriage infatuation stage. Awhile after marriage, you both realize what you really want is a good night's sleep.

rass · Post by **rass** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 10:12 am

My wife and I, after almost 20 years together, have somehow hit our spooning prime in the last year or two. If I can be cheesily earnest, I'm enjoying it.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 12:55 pm

I suppose I'm stating the obvious here, but pretty much everyone knows that a sudden spate of bed cuddling after approximately 20 years of marriage means that the wife is about to run off to Costa Rica with that guy at work, leaving you with the soon-to-be-foreclosed farm and the thousand dollar car. The professionals call this syndrome "Guilt Spooning."The research literature suggests that this follows within three months of the spooning spike with 87% certainty. If she's also starting to watch bad pro football games with you on Sundays, then the odds go up to 96%, and it's 37% likely that she's leaving with your brother or sister.

rass · Post by **rass** » Sun Dec 14, 2014 2:46 pm

Oh man. She's always wanted to go to CR.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Dec 15, 2014 7:11 am

My wife let off a rectal fog horn this morning as she woke up.

After 19 years of marriage, you get used to things like this.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:55 am

There's a girl who used to work at my company named Kim. She was in accounting down the hall from me. She was 23 when she started. She was decent looking, probably a 5 or 6.Glasses, geeky looking etc... We ended up being friendly and hanging out with other co-workers from time to time but never anything on our own. We'd often eat together in the lunchroom. I was quite careful, since she worked on the same floor and she's a lot younger than me (11 years), and most importantly she had a boyfriend at the time.

She quit in October of 2013, didn't go the 2013 company Christmas party cause she thought it would be awkward and she missed the one before that cause she was out of town. So I invited her to this year's party last Friday and she accepted. Partly because she wanted to see everyone again and partly because she wanted to be with me, I hope! Since she left the company I've seen her maybe half a dozen times in a year. Mostly with a group, once we went to a festival alone, just as friends.

Now that she's 27 she looks fabulous. Much more mature and stylish and no longer geeky. She caught everyone's attention and in turn that made me look better. Got a lot of comments of 'you look so nice', 'are you guys dating? you look so good together" etc... We had a lot of fun, talking, dancing. Usually when I'm at these parties I attend alone so I mingle and talk to many people. This time my attention was solely on her and only mingled to re-introduce her to people. Even yesterday back at the office I heard a lot of these good comments.

I've invited her for dinner tomorrow and she's accepted. Will probably sneak in a movie after if we have time. It's a bit tricky going from friends to dating possibly. Anything I need to be careful about? I don't want to come on too strong all of a sudden but also want to signal to her that I'm interested.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:59 am

degenerasian wrote:There's a girl who used to work at my company named Kim. She was in accounting down the hall from me. She was 23 when she started. She was decent looking, probably a 5 or 6.Glasses, geeky looking etc... We ended up being friendly and hanging out with other co-workers from time to time but never anything on our own. We'd often eat together in the lunchroom. I was quite careful, since she worked on the same floor and she's a lot younger than me (11 years), and most importantly she had a boyfriend at the time.

She quit in October of 2013, didn't go the 2013 company Christmas party cause she thought it would be awkward and she missed the one before that cause she was out of town. So I invited her to this year's party last Friday and she accepted. Partly because she wanted to see everyone again and partly because she wanted to be with me, I hope! Since she left the company I've seen her maybe half a dozen times in a year. Mostly with a group, once we went to a festival alone, just as friends.

Now that she's 27 she looks fabulous. Much more mature and stylish and no longer geeky. She caught everyone's attention and in turn that made me look better. Got a lot of comments of 'you look so nice', 'are you guys dating? you look so good together" etc... We had a lot of fun, talking, dancing. Usually when I'm at these parties I attend alone so I mingle and talk to many people. This time my attention was solely on her and only mingled to re-introduce her to people. Even yesterday back at the office I heard a lot of these good comments.

I've invited her for dinner tomorrow and she's accepted. Will probably sneak in a movie after if we have time. It's a bit tricky going from friends to dating possibly. Anything I need to be careful about? I don't want to come on too strong all of a sudden but also want to signal to her that I'm interested.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:00 pm

I would think inviting her to dinner after a party like that would mean she knows you're interested. It seems like the biggest mistake anyone can make is over-thinking it. Just be excited that you get to spend more time with her and leave it at that.

Assuming she doesn't have the boyfriend any more. That would make it a little awkward.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:10 pm

Like, a dinner date at fancy restaurant or are you cooking for her? (Do the latter.)

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:17 pm

No boyfriend, they broke up earlier this year. Dinner date at a decent restaurant, one that we both like. When I called her last night we both simultaneously suggested the same restaurant.

We know each other too well.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:18 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Like, a dinner date at fancy restaurant or are you cooking for her? (Do the latter.)

Chipotle!

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:29 pm

Judging from past comments, coming off like you're thinking about 3 months and 3 years and 30 years down the line on the first date is your major risk.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:49 pm

Just don't be a cad (yet), and you should be fine.

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:51 pm

I'd advise against saying "it's going to be such a funny story to our kids when we tell them we both picked the same restaurant for our first date!"

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 12:55 pm

"Do you wanna know what I did when I got home after the holiday party?"

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:41 pm

Giff wrote:I would think inviting her to dinner after a party like that would mean she knows you're interested.

What if she doesn't think so and think it's just a friendly thing. I'll have to pay extra attention.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:10 pm

degenerasian wrote:
Giff wrote:I would think inviting her to dinner after a party like that would mean she knows you're interested.
What if she doesn't think so and think it's just a friendly thing. I'll have to pay extra attention.

Don't overthink it and roll.

elflaco · Post by **elflaco** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:22 pm

DC47 wrote:I suppose I'm stating the obvious here, but pretty much everyone knows that a sudden spate of bed cuddling after approximately 20 years of marriage means that the wife is about to run off to Costa Rica with that guy at work, leaving you with the soon-to-be-foreclosed farm and the thousand dollar car. The professionals call this syndrome "Guilt Spooning."The research literature suggests that this follows within three months of the spooning spike with 87% certainty. If she's also starting to watch bad pro football games with you on Sundays, then the odds go up to 96%, and it's 37% likely that she's leaving with your brother or sister.

dammit. ten years of marriage, 18 overall... and she keeps on wanting to watch the skin's games on sundays (or listen on the interweb)

any chance i can claim the insurance money?

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:38 pm

degenerasian wrote:
Giff wrote:I would think inviting her to dinner after a party like that would mean she knows you're interested.
What if she doesn't think so and think it's just a friendly thing. I'll have to pay extra attention.

A single man and single woman are going out to dinner together. It's a date. She gets that.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 2:39 pm

degenerasian wrote:
Giff wrote:I would think inviting her to dinner after a party like that would mean she knows you're interested.
What if she doesn't think so and think it's just a friendly thing. I'll have to pay extra attention.

This is why the dinner date at a restaurant sucks. You invite her over to your house and she says "yes", you're golden (and it sounds like she'd be down from your history). You invite her to a restaurant that OMG you both totally like, you're still just a couple of 'friends' going for dinner, and then afterwards you still have to make a move to get her back. Why not just do that at the beginning, get her on your home turf, and make things easy for yourself?

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:32 pm

The restaurant is by her house. I'm better on the road.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:46 pm

Just curious - did you kiss her goodnight after the Christmas party? If you gave her something more than a friendship peck, she understands your motives. Don't rush it, be cool, but don't let yourself inadvertently get stuck in the "friend" zone.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:55 pm

sancarlos wrote:Just curious - did you kiss her goodnight after the Christmas party? If you gave her something more than a friendship peck, she understands your motives. Don't rush it, be cool, but don't let yourself inadvertently get stuck in the "friend" zone.

Just a friendship peck on the cheek. We are already in the friendzone, I'm trying to initiate further to get out of it.

/i should have kissed her friday

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:23 pm

Unless she has just arrived from another planet, she already knows if she wants to give a relationship a shot. Not much you could have done, or could now do, to alter this.

Perhaps you should just enjoy her company, be as honest about yourself as possible, and see what happens.

DaveInSeattle · Post by **DaveInSeattle** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:23 pm

I may be off on my Swamp protocol....but isn't this where Gunpowder steps in with the helpful advice of "cock in hand"? Or something similar?

Bensell · Post by **Bensell** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:37 pm

DaveInSeattle wrote:I may be off on my Swamp protocol....but isn't this where Gunpowder steps in with the helpful advice of "cock in hand"? Or something similar?

Or give her the dick in a box for Christmas

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 10:35 pm

DaveInSeattle wrote:I may be off on my Swamp protocol....but isn't this where Gunpowder steps in with the helpful advice of "cock in hand"? Or something similar?

If I recall correctly, the official decree was "Cock. In. Hand."

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 6:57 pm

Shirley wrote:
degenerasian wrote:
Giff wrote:I would think inviting her to dinner after a party like that would mean she knows you're interested.
What if she doesn't think so and think it's just a friendly thing. I'll have to pay extra attention.
A single man and single woman are going out to dinner together. It's a date. She gets that.

I haven't been on a first date in nearly 20 years, but surely, somethings haven't changed.

As you no doubt realize - hell, as ALL adult men realize - women have dozens, if not hundreds of ways of letting you know mid-date that they are not going to take things further. As said elsewhere on the thread, don't overthink it. Have a drink, but not too many, order a good meal and just enjoy her company.

And maybe, just maybe, you can go back to her place and watch Love, Actually.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 7:36 pm

Heading home now, will get ready then head out.

I will be relaxed. I think this is pretty risk free. I'll signal interest and look for signs back. If I get nothing then we're still really good friends. Don't think anything can screw that up at this stage.

EdRomero · Post by **EdRomero** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 7:48 pm

I finally started in with OKCupid. When you're 40, the women are a bunch of divorced or overweight or "still finding themselves" or socially awkward like me, and/or Asians. Had a first date last Friday. She said she had to pray before eating, but I could start. Being the gentleman I am, I waited, and waited, and waited...probably about 3 minutes. And because I'm an idiot, I return her texts (she sends a lot of emoticons). Rather than telling her this won't be working out, I'm considering sending texts that are plagiarized from Jerloma's posts in the Godless thread.

So in other words, you're doing better than me degenerasian. Enjoy tonight.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 11:21 pm

Was she praying you'd get up and leave her?

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 5:31 am

EdRomero wrote:I finally started in with OKCupid. When you're 40, the women are a bunch of divorced or overweight or "still finding themselves" or socially awkward like me, and/or Asians. Had a first date last Friday. She said she had to pray before eating, but I could start. Being the gentleman I am, I waited, and waited, and waited...probably about 3 minutes. And because I'm an idiot, I return her texts (she sends a lot of emoticons). Rather than telling her this won't be working out, I'm considering sending texts that are plagiarized from Jerloma's posts in the Godless thread.

So in other words, you're doing better than me degenerasian. Enjoy tonight.

Nice rack?

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:50 am

Dinner went well but still just friends.

She doesn't have any feelings for me but has fun hanging out. I often get invited to events through work and friends so she is my date for such things. And vice versa.

So just hanging out, maybe over time....

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:51 am

Grow a mustache.

BSF21 · Post by **BSF21** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:05 am

mister d wrote:Grow a mustache.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:23 am

degenerasian wrote:Dinner went well but still just friends.

She doesn't have any feelings for me but has fun hanging out. I often get invited to events through work and friends so she is my date for such things. And vice versa.

So just hanging out, maybe over time....

No. Don't waste date time on a dead end. I'm no Lothario, but that would be a no go for me.

Now, ask her to set you up with one of her friends and see how that goes since you're in the friendzone.

mister d wrote:Grow a mustache.

Grow something, anyway.

I'm being harsh, but I really want what's best for Degen!

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:24 am

I've seen her friends.....

Giff · Post by **Giff** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:26 am

What about her co-workers? Gal friends can be a great source of dates. And then there's always the chance she starts to get jealous if she knows you're interested in others.