The Worst Song Ever

HDO45331 · Post by **HDO45331** » Tue Mar 03, 2015 8:19 am

Worst song ever, without a doubt:

"Yummy Yummy Yummy" by the 1910 Fruitgum Company was released my senior year in high school. This could have ruined music for me, had I paid attention to it. Even then, I did not like, or listen to, top 40 stations. Bubble Gum music.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Tue Mar 03, 2015 11:11 am

Pruitt wrote:
Gunpowder wrote:
rass wrote:
Gunpowder wrote:That's atrocious. It sounds like something Maroon 5 would come up with.
It's a hundred milliony times worse than Moves Like Jagger.

That's not even possible. Moves Like Jagger and Payphone are some of the worst musical works this country has ever witnessed.
Maroon 5 is on the pantheon of the all time worst forms of entertainment.

And the fact that the lead singer - who has perhaps the most treated voice in music - is a singing coach on a tv show is hysterical.

Okay - courting controversy here. Lou Reed put out some great music - some of his songs are on my perpetual playlist and New Sensations and Live In Italy are all time classics.

HOWEVER - he released a lot of pure shit. None worse than Metal Machine Music a double album of noise that was either 1) A grand dadaist experiment designed to alienate his audience or 2) A way to get out of a record contract. Take your pick. Either way, the result is thoroughly unlistenable.

Which wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that towards the end of his life - and long after it became abundantly clear that he was a spent creative force (IMO) - he actually took Metal Machine Music on tour.

Be thankful you weren't at THIS show...

Particularly love the fact that at the end of this piece, the great man cues the band that the song is over. There's a stunned silence and then one pretentious jagoff starts whooping.

Noise music is actually a thing though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noise_music" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Mar 03, 2015 12:04 pm

P.D.X. wrote: Noise music is actually a thing though: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noise_music" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Yeah, I know...

Who the hell would date someone who listened to that shit though?

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Tue Mar 03, 2015 12:20 pm

Artsy chicks?

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Tue Mar 03, 2015 4:38 pm

DaveInSeattle wrote:I can live a full and happy live never hearing Sam Smith, Ed Sheeren, or that Hozier "Take Me To Church" song ever again. Or anything by Ariana Grande, Iggy Azalea, or Miley Cyrus.

This song doesn't seem so bad:

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 1:36 pm

Damn it, Grooveshark going under means I can't see who the hell sang the song that inspired this thread. I can't remember who it was.

EDIT: Check that, found it. Royal Bliss is the name of that shittastic band.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 4:37 pm

Here's the playlist if you guys ever want to throw this on to chill for an afternoon:

https://tapely.com/old-moes-bagel" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

howard · Post by **howard** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 4:46 pm

So what was the objective of this contest, or of this mixtape?

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 4:57 pm

Not the point of this thread but my office is having a mixed-tape contest. I'm taking it very seriously.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Fri Jul 10, 2015 5:55 pm

That mix tape is not even likeable ironically.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sat Jul 11, 2015 1:32 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Here's the playlist if you guys ever want to throw this on to chill for an afternoon:
https://tapely.com/old-moes-bagel" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Oh man, I still love "At Seventeen" and "Which Way You Goin' Billy?" I guess you had to be an angsty 17 when you heard the first one, and a pre-pubescent 12 year old when you heard the second. So there may be some nostalgia going on here. But I'll stand my pop ground on this.

"Seventeen" is the kind of authentic teen self-disclosure song that doesn't show up in pop songs enough. This was "It gets better" for my generation. Consider it an effective bit of suicide prevention disguised as a cool folk/pop song.

"Billy" is a nice pop tune with a fine arrangement. Dig that first drum bit. The sharp guitar comping behind the verses. The soulful bass. And then the powerful, swelling chorus! Even on an AM radio, this was a sweet song.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sat Jul 11, 2015 3:54 pm

DC47 wrote: "Billy" is a nice pop tune with a fine arrangement. Dig that first drum bit. The sharp guitar comping behind the verses. The soulful bass. And then the powerful, swelling chorus! Even on an AM radio, this was a sweet song.

Brutal song - the aural equivalent of waterboarding.

Here's another excremental song about this Billy character -

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sat Jul 11, 2015 8:07 pm

Pruitt wrote:
DC47 wrote: "Billy" is a nice pop tune with a fine arrangement. Dig that first drum bit. The sharp guitar comping behind the verses. The soulful bass. And then the powerful, swelling chorus! Even on an AM radio, this was a sweet song.
Brutal song - the aural equivalent of waterboarding.

Here's another excremental song about this Billy character

That is so harsh. Even I thought the Bo Donaldson hero song was unlistenable tripe when it came out. But you're missing some fine musicianship and arranging by tossing the previous Billy song into this category. Did I mention the plaintive longing in the lead vocal? If Billie Holliday had been alive when this came out, she would have dug it.

rass · Post by **rass** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:33 pm

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 6:43 pm

1-877-Kars-4-Kids, K-A-R-S Kars-4-Kids......

Post by **Shirley** » Tue Apr 12, 2016 7:15 pm

I had to look up the other one. Walking on the Sun. I remember now.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 12:52 pm

Not necessarily the worst songs ever, but any song that's described as An Anthem For A Generation is objectively garbage.

Watching the Voice a few weeks ago, an Indian girl sung this song "New Americana". Never heard it before, but I'm thinking "I legitimately hate whoever wrote these lyrics". Masochistically I look it up on Wiki, and the writer is some 18 year old broad who describes herself as tri-bi, as in biracial, bisexual, and bipolar, and I'm already in what the fuck mode. Between that and Fun (or fun? or fun& or however those idiots stylize themselves), awful.

And don't think this is my bi-monthly slag on the Millennials. I'm part of Generation X, and the 90s were our heyday. Between "Changes" by Pac (the Jim Morrison of hip-hop), "You Get What You Give", and "Flagpole Sitter" (and don't give the satire argument on the last one, it's still warm piss), just stop trying to be the voice of the youth.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 1:11 pm

L-Jam3 wrote:Not necessarily the worst songs ever, but any song that's described as An Anthem For A Generation is objectively garbage.

Watching the Voice a few weeks ago, an Indian girl sung this song "New Americana". Never heard it before, but I'm thinking "I legitimately hate whoever wrote these lyrics". Masochistically I look it up on Wiki, and the writer is some 18 year old broad who describes herself as tri-bi, as in biracial, bisexual, and bipolar, and I'm already in what the fuck mode. Between that and Fun (or fun? or fun& or however those idiots stylize themselves), awful.

And don't think this is my bi-monthly slag on the Millennials. I'm part of Generation X, and the 90s were our heyday. Between "Changes" by Pac (the Jim Morrison of hip-hop), "You Get What You Give", and "Flagpole Sitter" (and don't give the satire argument on the last one, it's still warm piss), just stop trying to be the voice of the youth.

I literally cannot place any of these songs and we aren't that far off in age.

Edit: Went to the youtubes, and now I recognize them. But I had not idea what they were called, what the bands were except Tupac.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 1:14 pm

A_B wrote:
L-Jam3 wrote:Not necessarily the worst songs ever, but any song that's described as An Anthem For A Generation is objectively garbage.

Watching the Voice a few weeks ago, an Indian girl sung this song "New Americana". Never heard it before, but I'm thinking "I legitimately hate whoever wrote these lyrics". Masochistically I look it up on Wiki, and the writer is some 18 year old broad who describes herself as tri-bi, as in biracial, bisexual, and bipolar, and I'm already in what the fuck mode. Between that and Fun (or fun? or fun& or however those idiots stylize themselves), awful.

And don't think this is my bi-monthly slag on the Millennials. I'm part of Generation X, and the 90s were our heyday. Between "Changes" by Pac (the Jim Morrison of hip-hop), "You Get What You Give", and "Flagpole Sitter" (and don't give the satire argument on the last one, it's still warm piss), just stop trying to be the voice of the youth.
I literally cannot place any of these songs and we aren't that far off in age.

Me either, but I stopped listening to new popular music when I was about 14.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Wed Apr 13, 2016 1:21 pm

I had to Google snippets of the lyrics that were in my skull to get the song title. My car back then only had a radio, and I never took the trouble of adding a CD player.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Oct 27, 2022 7:37 am

(Just because I love to add overwrought context to why I picked a thread, we had a recent discussion about songs that are creepy in their depiction of teen (at best) sexuality and that would have been a great spot to drop a song by a woman but it was in the Podcasts thread and it was on a previous page of the thread and there were a lot of replies without quotes so there wasn't just one post I could grab to capture the full conversation. So here we are because the song is pretty silly.)

Anyway, with the song The Babysitter Betty Wright largely ripped off the spirit and rhythm of her own prior hit, Clean Up Woman, and did so with lyrics depicting a sexy 16-year-old girl stealing her man and a song that includes a bunch of cheesy nursery rhyme motifs just to drive everything home.

Though she was only 18 when this came out and apparently wrote it herself.

Pruitt3 · Post by **Pruitt3** » Thu Oct 27, 2022 9:52 am

The music's good in that Betty Wright song...

But oh boy!

Here's one that has obsessed a friend of mine since he was a kid. Written by Rupert "Pina Colada Song" Holmes, and perhaps the best song ever written about cannabalism.

Pruitt3 · Post by **Pruitt3** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 6:26 pm

During dinner my wife went off on a rampage about the worst song she'd ever heard.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:01 pm

It’s nothing special, but I can’t see why it would set somebody off.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:24 pm

sancarlos wrote: ↑Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:01 pm It’s nothing special, but I can’t see why it would set somebody off.

She’s sexually frustrated.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:28 pm

Perhaps Pruitt can only make love for several hours at a time rather than all night long and she doesn't want him to feel bad?

GoodKarma · Post by **GoodKarma** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 7:35 pm

I’m with Mrs. Pruitt…what makes it a candidate for the worst is how popular it was when it was released. The lyrics are just dumb yet it got a ton of airplay. A girl I used to work with in junior high/high school called it “the slut song”.

Pruitt3 · Post by **Pruitt3** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 8:51 pm

No no and no...

What sets her off is that the lyrics are about a woman picking up a vagrant-type and using him to get pregnant because her husband is sterile. And years later they run into each other and the guy sees his own kid that he didn't know existed. (My wife's interpretation)

It was a rainy night
When he came into sight
Standing by the road
No umbrella, no coat
So I pulled up along side
And I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile
So we drove for a while
I didn't ask him his name
This lonely boy in the rain
Fate, tell me it's right, is this love at first sight?
Please don't make it wrong, just stay for the night

All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will, you want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to

So we found this hotel
It was a place I knew well
We made magic that night
Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me
So many times, easily
And in the mornin' when he woke
All I left him was a note
I told him I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there
All I wanna do is make love to you

One night of love was all we knew
All wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to, oh
Ooh, we made love
Love like strangers
All night long
We made love

Then it happened one day
We came 'round the same way
You can imagine his surprise
When he saw his own eyes
I said, "Please, please understand
I'm in love with another man
And what he couldn't give me, oh-oh
Was the one little thing that you can"

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:30 pm

We all know it's Love Shack. End it.

rass · Post by **rass** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:43 pm

The Heart song is too funny to be the worst.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:48 pm

rass wrote: ↑Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:43 pm The Heart song is too funny to be the worst.

It’s a weird song with a great melody and a hook everyone know. Which is most pop songs.

Pruitt3 · Post by **Pruitt3** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 7:47 am

A_B wrote: ↑Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:48 pm
rass wrote: ↑Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:43 pm The Heart song is too funny to be the worst.
It’s a weird song with a great melody and a hook everyone know. Which is most pop songs.

My 23 year old daughter thinks it sounds like every 90s song she's ever heard.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 7:54 am

Pruitt3 wrote: ↑Fri Nov 04, 2022 7:47 am
A_B wrote: ↑Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:48 pm
rass wrote: ↑Thu Nov 03, 2022 9:43 pm The Heart song is too funny to be the worst.
It’s a weird song with a great melody and a hook everyone know. Which is most pop songs.
My 23 year old daughter thinks it sounds like every 90s song she's ever heard.

Totally fair!

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 8:49 am

Sitting in the waiting room getting my car serviced. Trying to get work done, but they are blasting horrible 70s soft rock that reminds me of horrible 80s wedding bands. The damned Heart song is playing now.

A_B · Post by **A_B** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 8:52 am

The Sybian wrote: ↑Fri Nov 04, 2022 8:49 am Sitting in the waiting room getting my car serviced. Trying to get work done, but they are blasting horrible 70s soft rock that reminds me of horrible 80s wedding bands. The damned Heart song is playing now.

Please, please understand.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 9:10 am

It Sirius The Blend. And I might snap.

Saaaaaaaaaailing, takes me awaaaaaaaayyy!
Canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see!

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 10:21 am

Sorry, nothing I've seen since 2015 has shaken my confidence in We Built This City as the worst song ever. It's everything that's wrong with that Heart song (which I'm okay with), multiplied by infinity.

The Sybian · Post by **The Sybian** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 11:41 am

Steve of phpBB wrote: ↑Fri Nov 04, 2022 10:21 am Sorry, nothing I've seen since 2015 has shaken my confidence in We Built This City as the worst song ever. It's everything that's wrong with that Heart song (which I'm okay with), multiplied by infinity.

That's a strong selection.

L-Jam3 · Post by **L-Jam3** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 12:18 pm

Have I ever mentioned how much I fucking hate Air Supply? No? Then in that case, I fucking hate Air Supply.

Nonlinear FC · Post by **Nonlinear FC** » Fri Nov 04, 2022 1:35 pm

Anything by The Pretenders?

I don't know what it is about them, but, man... Hate.