The Swamp

The girl that had the crush on me seems to be too busy for a simple hello these days.
Some chick I was talking to in Germany just decided to vanish without warning.
I went on a date with a Korean girl, and despite her being 'Americanized', I just don't know if flat out asking if she wants to be a fuck buddy is the right way to go about things.
Then there was a friend that moved from here to Michigan that told me she 'felt a vibe' when she first met me last summer. Apparently, I gave off that 'presence' to her. That was kinda cool to hear. Typically I only hear that stuff about famous dudes when I'm talking to girls.
And I am still getting dirty messages and photos from the girls I was sleeping with in Tucson. So that's cool.
46 days left. Can't wait.

I was dating this girl on-and-off for most of 2012. Things were going great until she got sick (a flare up of a condition she has been dealing with for years), so we took some time off while she recovered and got through what she needed to in order to heal up and then things started to heat up again through the fall. Or so I thought.

Come Christmas she tells me that it's just not going to work for, that while she's been recovering from being sick she's had a lot of time to reevaluate her life and she has to focus on other things besides a relationship. She also says that whatever was there when we started dating was lost.

What sucks is we both thought, individually, that this was something serious and something that could lead to something special.

timgod99X wrote:What sucks is we both thought, individually, that this was something serious and something that could lead to something special.

Sorry, Tim. But, better to have found out now, rather than later...

timgod99X wrote:I was dating this girl on-and-off for most of 2012. Things were going great until she got sick (a flare up of a condition she has been dealing with for years), so we took some time off while she recovered and got through what she needed to in order to heal up and then things started to heat up again through the fall. Or so I thought.

Come Christmas she tells me that it's just not going to work for, that while she's been recovering from being sick she's had a lot of time to reevaluate her life and she has to focus on other things besides a relationship. She also says that whatever was there when we started dating was lost.

What sucks is we both thought, individually, that this was something serious and something that could lead to something special.

Could it be because you "took time off" when she got sick? I'm guessing that didn't go over well with her and her friends.

My lady-friend from Seattle was coming to visit me this week for 10 days here in Melbourne.

Until she blew out her back doing yard week 2 weeks ago....she had the microdiskectomy surgery last week. So now she's looking at a 3 or 4 month recovery time, and no trip to Australia.

The lesson? Always get travel insurance when buying a big plane ticket, and never ever do yard work.

Shirley wrote:

timgod99X wrote:I was dating this girl on-and-off for most of 2012. Things were going great until she got sick (a flare up of a condition she has been dealing with for years), so we took some time off while she recovered and got through what she needed to in order to heal up and then things started to heat up again through the fall. Or so I thought.

Come Christmas she tells me that it's just not going to work for, that while she's been recovering from being sick she's had a lot of time to reevaluate her life and she has to focus on other things besides a relationship. She also says that whatever was there when we started dating was lost.

What sucks is we both thought, individually, that this was something serious and something that could lead to something special.

Could it be because you "took time off" when she got sick? I'm guessing that didn't go over well with her and her friends.

That was her decision, not mine.

Maybe I'm missing something, but why if you guys were getting semi-serious do you take a break because of sickness?

Sounds like she completely led you on. None of that makes a lick of sense to me.

Johnnie wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but why if you guys were getting semi-serious do you take a break because of sickness?

Sounds like she completely led you on. None of that makes a lick of sense to me.

Depending on the type of illness, I could see a girl being self conscious and not wanting a guy seeing her in a state of illness. Also, if it isn't a a completely serious relationship, having a guy nursing you back to health sort of takes it there, and makes you feel indebted to him. It also makes her feel vulnerable in the biggest way possible. I totally get it. Gotta look at this from the female point of view. Neurotic, super self-conscious over thinking the fuck out of everything and especially worrying about what a guy will think of them if X, spiraling infinitely down into a wormhole.

I just realized I had the same f-ing thing happen to me a couple years back. When she recovered, I tried to re-kindle, but she was super-flakey and so I dropped it. I then found out she started seeing and moved in with a dude my sister had been dating. So yeah, classy broad.

That's true. I tend to forget that women have that worry of always looking presentable even to people they feel comfortable with. That's the "something" I was missing.

Are you calling me a woman?

The Sybian wrote:

Johnnie wrote:Maybe I'm missing something, but why if you guys were getting semi-serious do you take a break because of sickness?

Sounds like she completely led you on. None of that makes a lick of sense to me.

Depending on the type of illness, I could see a girl being self conscious and not wanting a guy seeing her in a state of illness. Also, if it isn't a a completely serious relationship, having a guy nursing you back to health sort of takes it there, and makes you feel indebted to him. It also makes her feel vulnerable in the biggest way possible. I totally get it. Gotta look at this from the female point of view. Neurotic, super self-conscious over thinking the fuck out of everything and especially worrying about what a guy will think of them if X, spiraling infinitely down into a wormhole.

Agreed. And I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't simultaneously upset that he agreed to go on break while she was sick.

It was either self-consciousness or a passive-aggressive move to get Timgod to commit further. The first is excusable, the second is conniving. I don't know the woman, of course, but I have learned to never rule out any motive in situations like that.

This:

The Sybian wrote:I could see a girl being self conscious and not wanting a guy seeing her in a state of illness.

And this:

The Sybian wrote:Also, if it isn't a a completely serious relationship, having a guy nursing you back to health sort of takes it there, and makes you feel indebted to him.

We had only been seeing each other a few months before she got sick, so she didn't want A) to try and continue to develop a relationship while so much of her time/energy/thought process was going to be spent going through surgery, treatment and recovery and B) Our relationship and feelings to be partially formed by dealing with something as serious as this was. She thought it'd be unfair that I may start feeling more for her because she was ill and not because we were growing closer. (At first we thought it may be a cancer diagnoses, cause all the tests for her preexisting condition had come back negative. Luckily, it wasn't cancer, but she still went through quite a bit.)

And trust me, I had the same thought as AB (wow, that's scary), at least the part about any motive. At first I wasn't completely convinced she wasn't just using her recent health issues to end things without having to come out and actually say it. After it first happened, I wouldn't text her or email her at all, kind of washing my hands of it. Figured it was over, move on. Then after awhile she started texting/emailing me again, almost on a regular basis and I figured I was probably wrong. And I was.

It sucks, yea. But I don't think any of it was anything but the truth. It sucks, but that's life sometimes.

Dear abby,
I'm dating this girl, i guess. i went to university with her, we were both in creative writing. we were in drama together two years in row, reading and writing plays. we were suppose to be watching them too but my mother was dying at the time so i didn't see any. anyway, i told her i never saw a play and i've now seen 8 plays with her since december. my problem is i don't know if these are dates or just creative writing friends watching plays together. Also i don't know if i'm attracted to her or not, the more time i spend with her the prettier she gets. I wasn't really attracted to her at first. do relationships build this slowly?
-horribly written question for an english major.

I'm at the bar (yes, at 2 pm...don't judge me fuckers) getting chatted up by a 45-year old coke whore. And she's the best looking 45-year-old coke whore I've ever seen. She must have been quite a piece 15-20 years ago.

RULES!!!

And THC, sure. Why not?

TheHumanComa wrote:Dear abby,
I'm dating this girl, i guess. i went to university with her, we were both in creative writing. we were in drama together two years in row, reading and writing plays. we were suppose to be watching them too but my mother was dying at the time so i didn't see any. anyway, i told her i never saw a play and i've now seen 8 plays with her since december. my problem is i don't know if these are dates or just creative writing friends watching plays together. Also i don't know if i'm attracted to her or not, the more time i spend with her the prettier she gets. I wasn't really attracted to her at first. do relationships build this slowly?
-horribly written question for an english major.

Yeah of course. Sounds like you'd like to date her. Which means you're probably going to have to have "the talk". Though she probably feels the same way as you do.

rass wrote:RULES!!!

And THC, sure. Why not?

Welp, it turns out I can oblige you. Because while I was thinking "coke whore", I wasn't far off since it turns out she was a retired porn star.

So yeah, this link is totally NFSW, but anyways.

You gotta love Las Vegas. You meet some characters here.

TheHumanComa wrote: . . . do relationships build this slowly?

Good ones do.

brian wrote:

rass wrote:RULES!!!

And THC, sure. Why not?

Welp, it turns out I can oblige you. Because while I was thinking "coke whore", I wasn't far off since it turns out she was a retired porn star.

So yeah, this link is totally NFSW, but anyways.

You gotta love Las Vegas. You meet some characters here.

Brian, I see her birthday's coming up. Don't be the guy who forgets a card!

Was she wearing the same ascot?

Went out with this chick a couple months ago. Fairly cute – probably a 6 or 7, depending on your preferences – but not a must-have. Short but with good curves and a cute face, 27-ish. Anyway we kind of hit it off at the time, but then she inexplicably flaked on me one night when we had a date set up. Nary a peep afterward. Occasional FB posts show up on my feed showing that she's got a new bf. Whatever.

This past week apparently she breaks up with him – complete with all the requisite sobbing and attention whoring on FB – and whatdoyouknow in my inbox I get a "Hey! Long time no talk. How are you? :) :)"

This will be fun.

I have too much pride to give into a girl like that.

The same sort of scenario happened here. Met an English teacher originally from PA on OKCupid, went on a great date, and appeared to hit it off well. We chatted the next couple of days too. Then she tells me, via FB message, she went on another date and liked the other guy and she only wanted to be friends with me. I didn't respond to her and deleted her as a friend. I didn't want to be in the position to receive a "Hey! So me and the other guy didn't work out after all..." type of message and pursue something. I used to be that guy. Being that guy sucks.

Johnnie wrote:I have too much pride to give into a girl like that.

The same sort of scenario happened here. Met an English teacher originally from PA on OKCupid, went on a great date, and appeared to hit it off well. We chatted the next couple of days too. Then she tells me, via FB message, she went on another date and liked the other guy and she only wanted to be friends with me. I didn't respond to her and deleted her as a friend. I didn't want to be in the position to receive a "Hey! So me and the other guy didn't work out after all..." type of message and pursue something. I used to be that guy. Being that guy sucks.

Yeah but when a chick pulls that you have complete reign to be an ass. And you don't try to girlfriend-up this type, you just treat them like a booty call.

I went to my 25th high school reunion last weekend. Because they hold the damn thing during the school year, most guys my age came back without spouses and kids, because the kids have school and sports. So most guys were stag.

One exception in our group was a guy I hadn't seen in 20 years. He wasn't a particularly notable guy in high school. He wasn't a top student and didn't play any varsity sports. He wasn't particularly good looking or popular.

Well, lo and behold, this dude shows up Friday night with his date - a gorgeous 23-year-old girl. She's 20 years his junior! And it's not like he's super rich. He's a medical products salesman.

Apparently he's either got a giant dick or he spits some great game.

Or he paid for an escort.

brian wrote:Or he paid for an escort.

Hmm, could be! Although he gave her name, they stayed in a hotel together and she was still with him the next day.

Shirley wrote:

brian wrote:Or he paid for an escort.

Hmm, could be! Although he gave her name, they stayed in a hotel together and she was still with him the next day.

So he paid a lot for an escort.

Man, what an odd night, but one I'm trying to figure out how to work to my advantage.

So, the hot 25 yr old co worker, who'd previously had the "just friends" convo with me sends me a text message tonight that she wants to get together and chat.
Now I'm thinking 1 of 2 things...a) she's in a very weird mood and bringing up the "friends/coworkers" thing again, or b) she wants the D.

So who'd have expected c) she wanted to come out to explain that she's bisexual, with a pref for the ladies, and all those stories she's told about her control freak ex, were about her ex-gf, and not bf.

Needless to say, this opened shit up a lot, and we kept talking and had a few drinks. But I still am getting the overwhelming friend vibe. So I'm working it, but I think the door was just opened, and it's all a matter of time. We shall see.

That's awesome. All y'all married guys with kids out there might want to put in your orders for flowers right now.

brian wrote:That's awesome. All y'all married guys with kids out there might want to put in your orders for flowers right now.

I'll be in Hilton Head all day. It's a good thing I bought those Earth, Wind, and Fire tickets ahead of time.

P.D.X. wrote:In 2012, Ashley Madison had a 439% increase in female signups the day after Mothers Day.

She's not my mother, why should I buy her presents?

bfj wrote:

P.D.X. wrote:In 2012, Ashley Madison had a 439% increase in female signups the day after Mothers Day.

She's not my mother, why should I buy her presents?

I'm still getting reamed for never having heard of a "push present."

bfj wrote:

P.D.X. wrote:In 2012, Ashley Madison had a 439% increase in female signups the day after Mothers Day.

She's not my mother, why should I buy her presents?

But seriously...

The Sybian wrote:I'm still getting reamed for never having heard of a "push present."

What the heck is a "push present"?

Scottie wrote:

The Sybian wrote:I'm still getting reamed for never having heard of a "push present."

What the heck is a "push present"?

I'm going to guess it is the present you give your wife after she pushes out a baby.

bfj wrote:

Scottie wrote:

The Sybian wrote:I'm still getting reamed for never having heard of a "push present."

What the heck is a "push present"?

I'm going to guess it is the present you give your wife after she pushes out a baby.

Thank you both for not knowing this!

Jerloma wrote:

bfj wrote:

P.D.X. wrote:In 2012, Ashley Madison had a 439% increase in female signups the day after Mothers Day.

She's not my mother, why should I buy her presents?

But seriously...

I agree. The gifts she gets are bought by me, but given to her from the kids along with their homemade/school made dreck. I give her a card telling her she's a great mom, because she is.