The Swamp

sancarlos wrote: ↑Wed Feb 16, 2022 11:54 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Wed Feb 16, 2022 11:16 am Mash keys and shout "representative!" over and over

Hey, that’s my strategy, too!

Louder and louder each time, because you know that just makes it more effective.

Good friend of mine died yesterday.

Great guy, generous, happy, always trying to make people comfortable. 4 kids (17-25 years old). Just a brutal situation.

I've seen enough death to know that ranting to adults about what's fair or unfair isn't right. We all have experienced horrible unfair things... He made some money and has a number of successful lawyers and accountants as friends so his family will be okay financially.

But what makes me crazy is when people use the phrases "it could be worse" or "at least he..." I know people are trying to help (in most cases), but these phrases imply that it's not really so bad. After all, he got to see two kids graduate etc. etc.

And I am pretty raw at the moment, but reading that he died after a brave battle with cancer is triggering me. Cancer fucking destroyed him. It laid waste to a strong 6' 3" man in a few months.

Had to rant guys.

Don't skip any check ups.

Sorry for your loss, Pru.

So sorry to hear this

Sorry to hear, Pruitt.

Sorry man

That really sucks, Pruitt.

Ugh. Sorry brother.

I am so sorry, Pruitt.

So sorry to hear.

Sorry for your loss, bud.

That's shitty. Sorry Pru.

Sorry to hear.

Just found out that a kid I grew up with has stage 4 colon or pancreatic cancer. Went in for a routine check up/coloscopy and four days later got the news. 46 years old.

Thanks guys.

It's just a horrible thing.

ah I'm truly sorry Pruitt. :( it's just awful.

take for what it's worth (little) but from recent personal experience if anything do not be shy about leaning on friends / others that knew him. I've been going through some shit as well and it's hard (i tend to be really introverted esp about things like this) but having a constant dialogue w/ people you trust and/or might be going through the same thing has helped me a little. Even if there's literally nothing to say, just a venting seems important.

Good luck, Max.

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Sat Mar 05, 2022 8:56 am ah I'm truly sorry Pruitt. :( it's just awful.

take for what it's worth (little) but from recent personal experience if anything do not be shy about leaning on friends / others that knew him. I've been going through some shit as well and it's hard (i tend to be really introverted esp about things like this) but having a constant dialogue w/ people you trust and/or might be going through the same thing has helped me a little. Even if there's literally nothing to say, just a venting seems important.

Yeah, a bunch of us got together last Saturday just to talk.

His best friends, and none of us had seen him since the diagnosis.

pruitt2 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 05, 2022 12:03 pm

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Sat Mar 05, 2022 8:56 am ah I'm truly sorry Pruitt. :( it's just awful.

take for what it's worth (little) but from recent personal experience if anything do not be shy about leaning on friends / others that knew him. I've been going through some shit as well and it's hard (i tend to be really introverted esp about things like this) but having a constant dialogue w/ people you trust and/or might be going through the same thing has helped me a little. Even if there's literally nothing to say, just a venting seems important.

Yeah, a bunch of us got together last Saturday just to talk.

His best friends, and none of us had seen him since the diagnosis.

Glad to hear you have that support group, and sorry to hear about your loss.
And try not to take people's words too literally, everyone is struggling and trying to say the right thing, and it's not perfect.

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Sat Mar 05, 2022 8:56 am ah I'm truly sorry Pruitt. :( it's just awful.

take for what it's worth (little) but from recent personal experience if anything do not be shy about leaning on friends / others that knew him. I've been going through some shit as well and it's hard (i tend to be really introverted esp about things like this) but having a constant dialogue w/ people you trust and/or might be going through the same thing has helped me a little. Even if there's literally nothing to say, just a venting seems important.

That's what the Swamp is for; venting semi-anonymously to a group of supportive friends. And reading Rass' puns and seeing pictures of things that resemble cock and balls.

LOL. i really should jump in here more often.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Sat Mar 05, 2022 4:50 pm

MaxWebster wrote: ↑Sat Mar 05, 2022 8:56 am ah I'm truly sorry Pruitt. :( it's just awful.

take for what it's worth (little) but from recent personal experience if anything do not be shy about leaning on friends / others that knew him. I've been going through some shit as well and it's hard (i tend to be really introverted esp about things like this) but having a constant dialogue w/ people you trust and/or might be going through the same thing has helped me a little. Even if there's literally nothing to say, just a venting seems important.

That's what the Swamp is for; venting semi-anonymously to a group of supportive friends. And reading Rass' puns and seeing pictures of things that resemble cock and balls.

I've been asked to give a eulogy at the funeral tomorrow.

My first draft took a half hour to read through. Editing ahoy.

(Just to say "FUCKTHISISTHEWORST!")

At what point do seniors stop remembering that Costco is a bulk store and start getting annoyed that they don't have specific items and/or smaller sizes of things? Do they not remember that you can get those things at, like... regular stores?

Overheard today - "I can't find the toilet brushes! Pfft... they're probably gonna want me to buy four of them! What am I gonna do with four toilet brushes?!"

Moments later, a different person - "How can they not have Gorgonzola? This place is huge!"

I know that dunking on Boomers is kinda low-hanging fruit, but still, I'd really like to figure out what causes this so I can avoid it 30 years from now.

I hear ya, fellow kid.

Hey sancarlos, tell me when you start doing the old person thing of taking two steps through the entrance of a store, then stopping dead in your tracks to take in the surroundings oblivious to the fact that people are trying to enter after you.

Johnny Carwash wrote: ↑Wed May 04, 2022 10:13 am Hey sancarlos, tell me when you start doing the old person thing of taking two steps through the entrance of a store, then stopping dead in your tracks to take in the surroundings oblivious to the fact that people are trying to enter after you.

Go to any airport terminal and you'll see this happen every 100 feet.

Added to my mental list of things not to do when I'm old. Hope I remember them.

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Wed May 04, 2022 11:35 am Added to my mental list of things not to do when I'm old. Hope I remember them.

(Ron Howard as Narrator): He won't.

degenerasian wrote: ↑Mon May 02, 2022 4:47 pm At what point do seniors stop remembering that Costco is a bulk store and start getting annoyed that they don't have specific items and/or smaller sizes of things? Do they not remember that you can get those things at, like... regular stores?

Overheard today - "I can't find the toilet brushes! Pfft... they're probably gonna want me to buy four of them! What am I gonna do with four toilet brushes?!"

Moments later, a different person - "How can they not have Gorgonzola? This place is huge!"

I know that dunking on Boomers is kinda low-hanging fruit, but still, I'd really like to figure out what causes this so I can avoid it 30 years from now.

I think the fact that you are aware of it now means that you'll be okay.

I really think the stress of going to Costco contributed to my heart attack. My life is less stressful since I let our membership lapse.

Having said that, as I recall, it was the best place to get diapers. Huge savings will make it worth your stress when the time comes.

The Sybian wrote: ↑Wed May 04, 2022 11:50 am

P.D.X. wrote: ↑Wed May 04, 2022 11:35 am Added to my mental list of things not to do when I'm old. Hope I remember them.

(Ron Howard as Narrator): He won't.

I'll prob be ok with the store one since I hate being in the big boxes so much it's basically a sprint for me to run in and get the one thing I need and get out asap.

I don’t have anything against gambling. I make bets myself, on occasion. But, I have to say, when I’m watching the panel discussions before or between periods or halves of a game, I get so tired of all the Fanduel/Draftkings happy talk promoting various betting lines, etc. It’s almost like the game only matters for the sake of the gambling.

[/shakingfistatclouds]

Going through the hell of dealing with the medical billing department in the hospital system my wife used to work at. Took my kids to get their annual physical, which I am 100% certain has no copay. Got a bill last week for $1,600 for my son's physical and immunizations. Dug through my insurance company's portal and see they paid in full. Or more like paid 25% of the billed amount, but that is their negotiated rate. Insurance co says "patient responsibility is $0. Spent an hour on the phone to clear it up, they said they would take it off the clock for collections. Just checked, still saying I owe $1,600. Today I get a bill for my daughter for $388 for a vaccine from 15 months ago. Checked the insurance, they never billed it. I never received a bill, yet I get a nice notice saying "You never responded, this is being sent to collections in 10 days." Fuck you! Again, vaccines are 100% covered, just bill the insurance!

I feel like if an older person or someone less able to sort through this shit, or not having a job where they sit at a computer with a phone would end up paying bills like this out of fear or a lack of time/ability to fight it. I have been dealing with my kids dental billing office, too. We have two insurance companies, and the dental office kept blaming my insurance company for not paying, saying they need to notify the primary insurance. I ended up getting a rep from my dental insurance to explain to the billing guy how to do his job. Took 90 minutes, then I get a call 2 weeks later that the insurance company denied it. Happened to be the same guy, he still fucked it up. I had to walk him through what the insurance rep told him to do. I figure I'll get another bill in a few weeks because they fucked up again. I just fear one of these billing errors goes to collections and I have to deal with those assholes and have it appear on a credit report.

That's why I just toss all medical bills.

Around Thanksgiving my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Good news is they caught it when he was hospitalized for something else, so they discovered it before he had any symptoms, but it was still Stage 3. Not great, but its supposedly a slow-developing cancer. Survival rate isn't great, but they measure in 5 year survival, and lets be honest, what's the 5 year survival rate of anyone at 78?

After a few weeks of digesting it, I have to say, the old man took it really well and was determined to fight it and beat it. His words, "this isn't going to beat me. I'll get hit by a bus or die of a heart attack or something while dealing with the cancer, but this isn't taking me out." He started his chemo and didn't seem to have any side effects, then 4 weeks ago my mother said he was disoriented and said he was going to bed and started walking the wrong way in the house he's lived in for 43 years. She realized he had a fever and she couldn't get him to the car, so she had to call an ambulance at 2:00 am. Breaks my heart picturing my mother trying to get him down the stairs and giving up. Turns out he got a bacterial infection through the chemo port. He spent 12 days in the hospital and it was a goddamned shit show. The hospitalist is a complete moron. My father's white blood cell count was extremely low when they tested the first morning. My mother asked the doctor why he wasn't rechecking, he said it wasn't necessary. She told him the numbers, he said, "that isn't possible." She told him to read the chart, he refused and said he knew it was wrong, so she pulled up the patient portal app on her phone and showed him. "Oh my god, we need to test his WBC count! Why wasn't this done days ago?"

When he got out, he had to wear some sort of bag to get antibiotic infusions every day for 2 more weeks. My mother said he became extremely depressed in the hospital and turned into an old man overnight. He isn't eating, lost interest in everything. And this delayed his chemo treatment, which is what's upsetting me. Cut to this week, he is scheduled for another chemo treatment and decided he his going to Sloane Kettering in NJ from now on (his doctor is in NJ, but was directing care close to home). His mood was picking up as he got ready to resume chemo, then Sunday my mother called and said she is taking him to the doctor as his legs were swollen. Turns out he has a blood clot in his long, and he's back in the hospital for a couple more days. They were supposed to release him this morning so he could drive to NJ for chemo tomorrow morning, but they still haven't released him.

I'm just so fucking frustrated that he was defiant and in relatively good mental shape, but these setbacks are causing him to give up. And I feel worse that my mother doesn't know what to do and isn't sleeping at all. I keep offering to go home to help, but she insists there is nothing for me to do there.

Update: Just got a text that they left the hospital and can make it to NJ for his chemo tomorrow. Worrying note, my mother said they are stopping at DSW as she realized she left the house in her slippers and didn't pack shoes. I should mention I've noticed my mother slipping mentally over the last year or so. She just doesn't seem to grasp simple conversations. I was thinking it might be hearing or phone issues, but this summer in person she wasn't quite right.

Oh, man, Syb! I’m so sorry you and your parents are going through this. My parents are in their 80s and we through old people problems, too, but your situation beats mine for difficulty. Try to keep your chin up.

Fuck, man. That's awful. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Really sorry you and your parents are going through all that, Syb.

oy Syb. I'm so sorry, truly.

I can unfortunately empathize with a lot of this - i think trying everything <the collective you; family> can to keep your dad from spiralling as much as you can is so important. I've seen it first-hand and you *can* make a difference - you absolutely can (it's fking hard though), and it makes so much difference.

God almighty that is a horrible situation.

And if someone talks to you and starts a sentence with "Well at least..." no court should convict you for kicking them in the nuts.

So sorry you’re going through this. If it’s me, I’d go home. Help if you can and get a feeling for how they’re doing and if they need help. Hope things get better.

Sorry to hear, Syb.