Jeeves can Shove His Thesaurus up his Ass

[Gunpowder]

Hey frogs, I tried to Thesaurus but couldn't come up with a good substitute. I'm having a hard time editing this sentence for a brochure:

"(Product) Solutions provides all operational and maintenance requirements"

Firstly, you'd probably want provide, but I hate provide. And provide doesn't really work, either. Basically, we eliminate the requirements by doing them ourselves but the way we have this structured, I can't use eliminates.

If I were to rewrite it it would say:

"(Product) Solutions covers all operational and maintenance requirements".


That's proper but I don't want to use 'covers' and can't think of a better word. I know yinz guys are wordsmithy...any ideas?

[Ryan]

facilitates?

[Gunpowder]

I don't think facilitates works. There is a chance I'm looking for a word that doesn't actually exist outside of Arabic.

[spongelikeninja]

performs? handles? supplies?

[Gunpowder]

Maybe I'll go "() Solutions perform all required operational and maintenance tasks" though I don't love that either.

[Gunpowder]

Handles I thought of but didn't think it was a word for this. Supplies I think I could use.

[Gunpowder]

Actually supplies is basically the same as provides.

[Jerloma]

Obviates

[Jerloma]

...or precludes

[Gunpowder]

Actually I guess provides might work if we consider (Company) Solutions to be a singular product.

[rass]

replaces?
supplants?


"(Product) Solutions supplants all current operational and maintenance requirements by/via..."

[Gunpowder]

I think obviates may work. Grac

[Gunpowder]

replaces?
supplants?


"(Product) Solutions supplants all current operational and maintenance requirements by/via..."

There's no room for a by/via or explanation because it's just a dot on a product brochure. Supplants ain't bad tho

[Jerloma]

I think obviates may work. Grac

Obviatesly.

[Pruitt]

"(Product) Solutions successfully meets all operational and maintenance requirements" ?

"(Product) Solutions will fulfill all operational and maintenance requirements" ?

Although with what I write, it would better read - "(Product) Solutions provides all operational and maintenance requirements as the Guys react with shock to the appearance of Necrafa and her minions."

[Gunpowder]

It doesn't successfully meet them because we would actually perform them ourselves. We just remove them from the scope of the customer. Ie we 'cover' or 'handle' the requirements but I can't seem to find a better word than cover or handle.

[Gunpowder]

Let's just assume it's called Bob's ABC Solutions, and ABC Solutions is a program where Bob comes in and grows weed in your garage and sells it to you. It's like your growing your own weed but Bob handles all of the maintenance requirements involved with a Grow-Op.

[L-Jam3]

"Look. (Product) Solutions just fucking works, okay? You go with someone else, you're going to be throwing money in the toilet."

Just use "provides" and quit being a goddamn wordsmith. There are times to show off of your vocabulary. Work pitches are not one of those times.

Yet another reason I fucking hate lawyers.

[degenerasian]

a good word for covers is encompasses

OR

(Product) Solutions masters your puny operational and maintenance requirements with a mere fraction of our awe-inspiring might, while meanwhile, in his secret underwater lair, Our Competitor yet again plots to deceive you with his inferior, laughably inept product line.

[rass]

"Upon the appearance of Necrafa and her minions your operational and maintenance requirements are suddenly rendered inconsequential, supplanted by a base desire for self preservation. But not even (Product) Solutions can save you now..."

[mister d]

"(Product) Solutions operates and maintains all operational and maintenance requirements".

Done.

[Steve of phpBB]

It doesn't successfully meet them because we would actually perform them ourselves. We just remove them from the scope of the customer. Ie we 'cover' or 'handle' the requirements but I can't seem to find a better word than cover or handle.

What's wrong with cover or handle? It seems they fit the bill perfectly. Maybe cover is too informal, but handle sounds good.

[Gunpowder]

It doesn't successfully meet them because we would actually perform them ourselves. We just remove them from the scope of the customer. Ie we 'cover' or 'handle' the requirements but I can't seem to find a better word than cover or handle.

What's wrong with cover or handle? It seems they fit the bill perfectly. Maybe cover is too informal, but handle sounds good.

Yeah, I think cover is the best and I already sent it off. I was considering just leaving in a word that I didn't think fit properly because LJam hates lawyers but I changed it to covers and sent it.

[degenerasian]

could you reverse the order?

Operational and maintenance requirements are/can be achieved through the use of (Product) Solutions?

/too late

[Gunpowder]

could you reverse the order?

Operational and maintenance requirements are/can be achieved through the use of (Product) Solutions?

/too late

Yeah, I probably could have but I figure they want it structured like that. It's the inclusion of operational that made it tricky.

[wlu_lax6]

you could consider "offloads" or "removes" if you make the sentence about the customer's issues.

[A_B]

Satisfies?

[Ryan]

eyefucks

[The Sybian]

gits'er done.

[DC47]

"(Product) Solutions slays all operational and maintenance requirements"

The italics is important for greater impactfulness.