Super Bowl XLIX - Patriots v. Seahawks

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:17 pm

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

I just won $5.800 and I want to kill the Seahwacks offensive coordinator.

FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. Nice call. Your wife has chlamydia and your daughter has back hair.

Fuck you.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:17 pm

Bright side is the NFL won't force you to vacate this one. Congrats!

DSafetyGuy · Post by **DSafetyGuy** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:21 pm

Still solid, Pruitt.

I just didn't want to go back to Foxboro for work, especially given the alternative.

howard · Post by **howard** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:23 pm

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:25 pm

mister d wrote:Bright side is the NFL won't force you to vacate this one. Congrats!

true, if there's one rule they definitely won't enforce, it's leaving a concussed player in the game.

Post by **brian** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:25 pm

DSafetyGuy wrote:Still solid, Pruitt.

I just didn't want to go back to Foxboro for work, especially given the alternative.

When you to get to head back home? Just occurred to me the Cuse-CMU game is that same weekend. I was planning on flying in on Friday afternoon.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:26 pm

WE ARE ALL PATRIOTS.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:27 pm

Not since that jackass Mike Martz decided to ignore Marshall Faulk have I been in a situation where I KNEW that I was smarter than a Super Bowl Coach.

For Fuck Sake! He had five chances to jam it in the end zone.

Fuck Pete Carroll - He should end up with my idiot sister.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:30 pm

Johnnie wrote:WE ARE ALL PATRIOTS.

I'd rather eat my terrier's stool tomorrow than admit that.

Fuck Belichick, fuck Boston and fuck that whore from Worcester who gave me crabs at universuty,

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:30 pm

Pruitt wrote:Not since that jackass Mike Martz decided to ignore Marshall Faulk have I been in a situation where I KNEW that I was smarter than a Super Bowl Coach.

For Fuck Sake! He had five chances to jam it in the end zone.

Fuck Pete Carroll - He should end up with my idiot sister.

Outsmarted himself. The whole world knew that Lynch would run it so he threw. But why throw a slant. That would be the 7th option. Let Wilson run it or throw a safe fade.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:33 pm

howard wrote:And I lose my crown as least-gracious winner in the swamp. woot-woot!

I am a good way into a case of Harpoon. Wooooooooooooot.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:36 pm

Pruitt wrote:
Johnnie wrote:WE ARE ALL PATRIOTS.
I'd rather eat my terrier's stool tomorrow than admit that.

Fuck Belichick, fuck Boston and fuck that whore from Worcester who gave me crabs at universuty,

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:41 pm

But a deep breath (and a shot from my new best friend Mr. Balvenie 15 year old reminds me that I need to give a hearty "<Mazel Tov" to the Pats finds on the board.

My 16 year old daughter just won $50 from her drunken father, so in terms of humiliation, there's nothing more for me to deal with.

Deflate gate was nonsense.

Having the best coach in league history and one of the top 3 QBs in history helps a great deal.

This Bills fan is green with jealousy, but FUCK you Pats fans!!!

Nothing to stop you guys from burning Cambridge now!

(Seriously - congratulations).

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:42 pm

FFFUUUUCCKKK THE PATS!!!!!

God damn it.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:44 pm

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:47 pm

If I may break character for a second, congrats. I'm adult enough to know there's a large portion of every fanbase that would rather cheat and win than play straight up and risk losing so congrats to you guys. You "earned" this one wink, wink. For real. Wink.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:48 pm

cerrano · Post by **cerrano** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:52 pm

i so love this thread more than any other thread that was ever threaded. love.

with that play call, seahawks deserved to lose.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:55 pm

If the previous Swamp existed I would have bumped the thread where Brian called out all the Patriots fans on the board when they lost to the Giants.

That doesn't exist anymore. So now this does.

Rex · Post by **Rex** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:04 pm

Don't worry guys. Eli next year.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:07 pm

My commitment to NFL football now runs so deep that I decided to check the game out with two minutes left. If it was close I'd watch the remainder. Without audio so I didn't have to listen to the whores wearing express share more cliches and tell more lies.

Turned out to be pretty exciting.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:12 pm

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:18 pm

Malcolm Butler is now an immortal. Williams-Russell-Orr-Butler. I see a surge in babies named Malcolm in New England. More Malcoms than Gronks.

Pete Carroll has something to talk about with his therapist for the next several years. If Marshawn Lynch didn't kill him in the locker room.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:19 pm

Malcolm Butler is the new Dave Roberts.

Danny Amendola is the new J.D. Drew.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:23 pm

Tom Brady is the new David Ortiz (in that both cheated to win In front of an adoring national press that won't ever let the cheating interfere with their legacies). So many parallels!

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:33 pm

mister d wrote:So many parallels!

Post by **brian** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:56 pm

Do people really get upset about the results of games they don't have money on or for teams they don't root for? I can understand being upset if you're a Seahawks fan but I couldn't imagine actually giving a fuck about Team X or Team Y winning a championship unless you root for the winning or losing team. Even when the Packers - a team and a team whose fans I really loathe - won a few years ago I didn't lose a second's sleep over it. And even then I don't understand why every Pats fan I know on Facebook is posting a stream of "fuck you, haters" memes. After the Red Wings 4th title in 10 years I was like "Yay, that's awesome. Let's do some shots!"

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:08 am

Yet, you seemed to care deeply when the Patriots lost to the Giants.

and disappeared for months after gloating over how great the Red Wings were when they bowed out in the playoffs in the 2nd round.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:09 am

It's an interesting question. Two hypotheses:

- Patriots were attacked (and for cheating) quite a bit shortly before this championship?

- Patriots hadn't won in 10 years, in contrast to the Wings somewhat routine titles?

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:11 am

DC47 wrote:It's an interesting question. Two hypotheses:

- Patriots were attacked (and for cheating) quite a bit shortly before this championship?

- Patriots hadn't won in 10 years, in contrast to the Wings somewhat routine titles?

It's harder to be successful in football, and the Patriots most likely would have 2 other titles if not for two amazing/unbelievable/pulloutoftheirass catches.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:16 am

Both points granted. My second thought above is that winning after 10 years in the dessert will generate more emotion than the fourth title in 10 years.

When the Lions win next year there will be some pent-up emotion.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:21 am

https://vine.co/v/Ot95FznA3HE

Post by **brian** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:26 am

There's a world of difference between schadenfreude and caring. I'm enjoying the schadenfreude of seeing dickhead Seattle fans upset. But if it had been reversed my life wouldn't be a tiny bit different (unless Sherman had intercepted a pass).

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:52 am

Those maracas might as well be salt shakers.

degenerasian · Post by **degenerasian** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 1:46 am

Johnnie wrote:https://vine.co/v/Ot95FznA3HE

The Seahawks offensive coordinator Darrel Bevell said after the game that he called the last play (and calls all the plays) and alluded to the theory that throwing on that down would be saving the last time out. No explanation of why that route instead of a back cover end zone throw. He also took the class route and threw a player under the bus (Lockette) for not making the play.

He needs to go. That team will never be the same.

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:15 am

Johnnie · Post by **Johnnie** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:10 am

These are so good.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:10 am

howard wrote:

I liked (can never figure out who originated something on Twitter):

Nationwide, your kid just died /jingle

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 8:16 am

brian wrote:So I don't claim to be an expert on football but isn't the move here to flood the middle of the field and force Brady to throw downfield to beat you if you're the Seahawks? How many passes has Brady attempted 10+ yards past the LOS? 3?

That is the whole Seahawks defense and why they crushed Peyton Manning (and why Jax gives Denver tough games). I wasn't able to watch this one but I have to assume if Brady was beating it it's just because he's really, really good and was also cheating though I don't have proof so I can't mention it on the internet.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 9:13 am

Holy crap was I drunk last night. I don't remember posting those messages.