The Worst Song Ever

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:36 am

http://grooveshark.com/s/I+Love+You/6YqM9S?src=5" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I hope that link works.

Anyway Jerloma and I were dominating some beer pong on Saturday and this horrible song was played on the jukebox not once but twice. We both immediately agreed that it was the worst song ever recorded that actually got to the point where it could be played on a jukebox.

What do you guys have as worst song ever?

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:54 am

Gunpowder wrote:http://grooveshark.com/s/I+Love+You/6YqM9S?src=5

I could actually see that song not being quite as bad, if it had a better melody and was sung with a degree of irony instead of like a straight-up 80's power ballad.

Here's mine, gleaned from a period when I listened to a bunch of 60-70s pop music. This fucking thing somehow ended up in the rotation of "classic" stations with the Beatles and Motown.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 9:43 am

That song is atrocious and I can't wait to play it over and over again on Touchtunes

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 10:32 am

Terrible, terrible songs both.

I always tell people that Hotel California is my least favourite song ever (apologies to the Eagles fans), simply because I hate it, and I have heard it thousands of times without ever wanting to hear it.

But as much as I loathe that song, it is not even close to being the worst ever.

First one that comes to my mind...

A truly horrible mix of mawkishness, whiny singing and a dead dog. Absolutely unbearable.

Hell,, here's a bonus three minutes of hell from the same era. You know, back when I was a kid, if you listened to top 40 radio hoping to hear a cool song, you'd have to listen as shit like this played.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 10:42 am

That 2nd one is so bad.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 10:43 am

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 12:30 pm

Pruitt wrote:Terrible, terrible songs both.

I always tell people that Hotel California is my least favourite song ever (apologies to the Eagles fans), simply because I hate it, and I have heard it thousands of times without ever wanting to hear it.

But as much as I loathe that song, it is not even close to being the worst ever.

See I hate the Eagles not only for HC but also for being responsible for spawning the career of Don Henley, the performer of my nominee

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 12:32 pm

Shannon has been a favorite of mine since the first time I heard it. Beautiful melody, tremendous singing. The lyrics are sentimental. But touching, at least to my simple mind. The song is about a dog. People love their dogs. Henry Gross must have had a deep connection to a dog way back when. There aren't many songs about them, so this is far less repetitive than the usual love song with a human object.

sancarlos · Post by **sancarlos** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 12:36 pm

Rush2112 wrote:See I hate the Eagles not only for HC but also for being responsible for spawning the career of Don Henley, the performer of my nominee

Unlike Rush or Pruitt or Jeff Lebowski or others among you, I'll admit that I kind of like the Eagles. But, in honor of Rush's post, I think you need to listen to Mojo Nixon's classic Don Henley Must Die.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:02 pm

I loved the early Eagles. I saw them touring after their first album, and they were a terrific country rock band. Then, success and personnel changes. Not the same Eagles. I'm not a fan of what they became.

I like a lot of Don Henley's early solo work. But here's a little ditty that always turned my stomach.

Rush2112 · Post by **Rush2112** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:20 pm

That involves two of my least favourite artists of the last 50 years! Glad that I didn't know of existence prior to this moment.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:28 pm

There is a 0.0% chance that Dirty Laundry is the worst song ever. You might not like it but come on.

DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:33 pm

Dirty Laundry is Good Don. Leather and Lace is Bad Don. I'd rather hear a follow-up to Shannon that describes the dog's excrement in detail than listen to Don and Stevie warble about their passion.

Post by **brian** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:34 pm

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:40 pm

Who had "7" in the pool for the number of posts before this turned into an Eagles/Fleetwood Mac thread?

Post by **Shirley** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:52 pm

In terms of bands that were formerly good, but turned gawd awful in their search for money, I give you the TRUE worst song of all time.

Do NOT click on that video. Just don't.

Comparing that pile of shit to Hotel California or even Leather and Lace is an insult to the concept of comparing things.

And unlike many of the songs nominated, for a number of years, this song was everywhere.

(BTW, I think we've done this thread multiple times. It's funny the power of the bad song.)

Post by **brian** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 1:58 pm

I'll second Starship. And I hate those fuckers after almost getting into a fight with the guitarist on a flight from Indianapolis to Oklahoma City (?) one time.

howard · Post by **howard** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 2:19 pm

Terry Jacks Seasons In The Sun. How many times do I have to tell you guys? This was a #1 song, and marked the end of our nation's greatness.
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Or, Debby Boone. You Light Up My Life.

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rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 2:39 pm

Last year a radio station I listen to did a 88 worst songs list based on user input (to go along with their once a decade top songs vote). It has "We Built This City" at #1, and both of howard's suggestions are in the "top" 15. The link to the list on their website seems to be bad, but here is the Spotify playlist.

Bonus Spotify playlist from the last extended, similar Swamp discussion, though I think we were looking for horrible songs by otherwise respected (or at least enjoyable) artists.

rass · Post by **rass** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:50 pm

Listening to some of that longer list again, this one really stands out...

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:52 pm

howard wrote:Terry Jacks Seasons In The Sun. How many times do I have to tell you guys? This was a #1 song, and marked the end of our nation's greatness.
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Or, Debby Boone. You Light Up My Life.

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I kind of like Seasons in the Sun.

Suck it.

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:52 pm

Starship could run this thread.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:56 pm

Annoying shit I'd never listen to, but it's tough to call those songs "bad'. Where's Cotton-Eyed Joe and Barbie Girl in all this? Or the B-52s?

Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 3:58 pm

I think the song Rass posted and the David Geddes ones are the only ones that may be worse than the song that inspired this thread, though I guess most of these were far more popular.

Post by **Sabo** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 4:43 pm

sancarlos wrote:Unlike Rush or Pruitt or Jeff Lebowski or others among you, I'll admit that I kind of like the Eagles. But, in honor of Rush's post, I think you need to listen to Mojo Nixon's classic Don Henley Must Die.

And if I were in a band writing songs, I'd write one called "Mojo Nixon Must Die". I saw him in the late 1990s in a Cincinnati bar, and he was a prick to just about everyone in the bar. Fuck him.

howard wrote:Or, Debby Boone. You Light Up My Life.

Two weekends ago, a friend was visiting from Cincinnati and we went to a sports bar for dinner and drinks. While we were talking, someone played "You Light Up My Life", and it caused both of us to stop talking and wonder who the hell played that song. We decided to play equally inappropriate songs for a sports bar. My friend played "Girl You Know It's True" by Milli Vanilli, and I played "A Night on Bald Mountain", a classical piece composed by Modest Mussorgsky. No one commented on Mussorgsky's composition, but we heard someone complain about the Milli Vanilli song.

howard · Post by **howard** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 4:56 pm

Gunpowder wrote: Suck it.

You know, you really should grab the 45 of SITS. Cause, it may not even be the worst song on that record. The B-side is a little ditty called Put The Bone In

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Gunpowder · Post by **Gunpowder** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 5:01 pm

howard wrote:
Gunpowder wrote: Suck it.
You know, you really should grab the 45 of SITS. Cause, it may not even be the worst song on that record. The B-side is a little ditty called Put The Bone In

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Holy F this is already one of the worst songs I've ever heard.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 5:05 pm

"Pork meat" should never be a lyric.

Johnny Carwash · Post by **Johnny Carwash** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 5:11 pm

Having either of the words "yummy" or "tummy" in a song automatically makes it terrible; this one manages to include them both:

TT2.0 · Post by **TT2.0** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:25 pm

to me its this...and its not even really arguable.

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but i'd also listen to arguments for this
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DC47 · Post by **DC47** » Mon Feb 16, 2015 9:23 pm

That first one really says it right from the heart. It reminds me of the Byrds' brilliant So You Wanna Be A Rock-and-Roll Star and of course, the classic in this genre: Money for Nothing.

And you can dance to it. This band should really be doing the half-time show at the next Superbowl.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:46 am

howard wrote:Terry Jacks Seasons In The Sun. How many times do I have to tell you guys? This was a #1 song, and marked the end of our nation's greatness.
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Don't be so anti-American.

Terry Jacks is Canadian. And up here, he was more than a one hit wonder. He had a few hits in the late 60s and early 70s, both as a solo and with his ex-wife (recording as "The Poppy Family").

Enjoy!

Jerloma · Post by **Jerloma** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 9:57 am

That was pretty awful Saturday night, especially the second time, but I'm still taking Love Shack every day.

mister d · Post by **mister d** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 10:37 am

I was coming here to say Love Shack as well but I may have repressed JC's song at 5:11. I might want to rethink this a bit, that one is really horrific.

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 3:50 pm

Music to cut yourself to.

P.D.X. · Post by **P.D.X.** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 3:57 pm

Yeah that's a bad one but it more typifies an awful genre/era for me rather than being intrinsically bad. (But really, no one ever throws that one on for a good time.)

Pruitt · Post by **Pruitt** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:08 pm

P.D.X. wrote:Yeah that's a bad one but it more typifies an awful genre/era for me rather than being intrinsically bad. (But really, no one ever throws that one on for a good time.)

Yeah, that really was a shitty era.

Brontoburglar · Post by **Brontoburglar** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 4:31 pm

Heard this in the car yesterday three times.

Steve of phpBB · Post by **Steve of phpBB** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 6:11 pm

Shirley wrote:In terms of bands that were formerly good, but turned gawd awful in their search for money, I give you the TRUE worst song of all time.

Do NOT click on that video. Just don't.

Comparing that pile of shit to Hotel California or even Leather and Lace is an insult to the concept of comparing things.

And unlike many of the songs nominated, for a number of years, this song was everywhere.

(BTW, I think we've done this thread multiple times. It's funny the power of the bad song.)

God, yes. Although both of Howard's choices are right up there (down there?).

howard · Post by **howard** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 8:29 pm

Helen Reddy. Oh my. I've managed to block that stuff, thanks for the reminder. She has a whole slew of bad tunes; I Am Woman; No Way To Treat A Lady; Delta fucking Dawn ffs. I would suggest Leave Me Alone ( Ruby Red Dress ) " onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

However, as pop tunes they are not world class horrible; it is the lyrics that ruin what could be passable songs.

ETA: one more: Billy Don't Be a Hero by Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods: " onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

and, this throwback to my senior year of high school: a list of horrible songs from 1974

http://www.wfmu.org/WSC/wsc.70br.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;